squidwardotortellini

[squidwardotortellini]

[squidwardotortellini]

this is old news but this is the funniest fuck ing thing ive seen in we eks

[squidwardotortellini]

Listen to this 

[squidwardotortellini]

*forgets what im talking about halfway through a sentence*

[squidwardotortellini]

john travolta is what an alien thinks an attractive person is supposed to look like

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[squidwardotortellini]

Y'know what I really fuckin hate?

Tiny houses.

Not the concept, the notion, the Platonic ideal of a low-cost low-impact high-efficiency dwelling. That’s great. That’s awesome.

What really imagines my dragons is that in practice about 9 times out of 10 tiny house communities are just a way for rich hipsters to finally fulfil their greatest fantasy:

They found a way to fucking gentrify the trailer park

[squidwardotortellini]

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thinking about time when robert pattinson went on a date with his stalker and ended up driving her away by complaining entire night. literal legend

[squidwardotortellini]

okay this is one of the greatest plot twists of american cinema 

[squidwardotortellini]

Humanity lived through serious plagues, great fires, world wars and all, this mofo-19 wont bring us down, for real.

Of course it won’t. But we need to minimize the damage.

[squidwardotortellini]

Okay sword, let’s do this. For the Honor of Grayskull!

[squidwardotortellini]

SHE COOKK ME

[squidwardotortellini]

mom: where are you going its almost midnight

me: out

[squidwardotortellini]

haters will hear me scuttling inside their walls