splittingdistanceconfessions

[splittingdistanceconfessions]

GREETINGS GRAY what’s music school like what kind of classes do you take 🥺?

OKOK my classes are extremely unimpressive especially compared to yrs but i like the ones i’m taking. this year it’s eng4 honors, span1, prob and stats honors (STOVERRRR MY HOMIE), choir (mr. gray/mr gay), chem1 honors (FAVORITE CLASS EVER), guitar, and bio2 honors.

music school isn’t exactly what you’d expect. there’s an array of kids from those who dont love music that much, to kids like us, to insanely skilled musicians. academically, no one else really gives a shit i guess? my teachers are all like “you’re so brilliant you’re gonna change the world” etc to me but none of that is true.

because it’s a smaller school, teachers give us food sometimes, especially as a reward. ESPECIALLY STOVER i walked into third period on thursday and he just had boxes full of bagels n cinnamon rolls. he was like “gray come get yr food grr why didn’t you come before first period >:( jk man enjoy thanks for killing it on yr project :D”

fucking NO ONE in the metal “house party” we had yesterday knew anything about metal it was gross.

also no one else i’ve met besides eva listens to even moderately obscure artists?

there’s often a clash of egos, having so many musicians in one building. we’re a herd of cats.

it‘s jarring to see middle schoolers in the hallway knowing that to them, you’re practically an adult.

kids are inclusive as hell, mostly. stover, mr gray, and profé smith have all been using my pronouns without a single mistake. especially stover. cis guys have gone out of their way to make me feel good n stuff (the other day lebron was like “yo randall if you’re struggling with this statistics shit ask gray, sh- he can help you, man. dude knows everything :) ”)

mr yaghy (guitar teacher) recognized ‘the new‘ immediately when i played it on bass and we’ve been bonding over new order, the national, pixies, the libs, joy division, and radiohead. he’s super cool.

in conclusion music school is a mixed bag. idk. no one knows the bands we like and no one wants to. besides eva.

i don’t know why i went on a tangent but yeah.

[splittingdistanceconfessions]

if you could have any pet (fictional or real, practical or not) what would you pick. what’s the best compliment you’ve ever received.

THIS IS SUCH AN AWESOME QUESTION. Honestly, after much thought, a pocket sized puppy would be pretty sick.

I LOVE THIS QUESTION TOO. Honestly, your pep talk after I was stressed about getting employee of the month is my favorite compliment/s. You give the best compliments and its one of my favorite things about you.

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is the jam still your all time favorite band?

THEY ARE. I made a dumb top ten favorite bands list.

The Jam

The Who

The Replacements

The Clash

The Beatles

The Smiths

Television

Arctic Monkeys

The Velvet Underground

Talking Heads

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have you read all of kafka’s work? have you read player piano by vonnegut? you’re way more cultured than i am

I’ve read all of Kafka’s novels but not all his short stories yet 🥺

I HAVE READ PLAYER PIANO. I need to read more Vonnegut. You are way more cultured than I am. - BRUHBRUHBRUH

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GREETINGS TOM what classes are you taking this year and how do you feel about being seventeen

SUP GRAY. I have officially graduated high school early so now I am (back) in community college. I scored well on the placement tests so I’m taking Math 103 and English 105 🥺

I’m pretty hyped about turning seventeen solely cause it means I’m getting closer to eighteen, but I’m also kind of sad cause I’m getting older and I felt like I haven’t really done anything with my life? Anywho, lots of mixed feelings but mainly happiness! -BRUHBRUHBRUH

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how do you feel about squirrels

I LOVE squirrels. I’m personally more of a chipmunk guy, but squirrels are adorable too and I adore them.-BRUHBRUHBRUH

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i get a rush of euphoria whenever a guy calls me “man” “dude” or “bro” do u also experience this or is it just me

OH MY GOD YES I DO! I’m glad I’m not the o my person who feels that way 🥺-BRUHBRUHBRUH

[splittingdistanceconfessions]

GRAY what are your favorite silver Jews songs and have you read David Berman’s poetry book 🥺?

holy shit it changes every single day

today dallas was really sticking with me

but pretty eyes has changed my fucking life i gotta find that rant i wrote about it three months ago. that song is everything in a cosmic blender full of leather and weird berman-y shit. it's life. it's everything.

i gotta read actual air holy shit!!! i have the portable february it's on my bookshelf n i am a big fan. 'demand this of thyself' is a quote from the last page in that book.

actual air's in the library downtown, gonna check it out after i finish reading all current stuff.

[splittingdistanceconfessions]

Gray if you’re comfortable answering are there any colors that you feel a strong emotional connection to 🥺

i associate colors with everything. made a list about it in 5th grade but lost it.

suppose it's time for a remake.

anyway, yellow feels granular irritating like sand like sunlight to a hangover like sweat and boredom and bamboo chutes every sound worming its way under yr skin

it's not that i loathe yellow it's just that for some reason if i feel slow soul-sucking depression or agonizing boredom i associate it with yellow. yellow's still a beautiful, perfectly respectable color.

i am dark red. i feel the strongest connection to that color.

light green reminds me of my childhood it prompts a sense of longing and grief while dark green reminds me of my father and my grandfather, it reminds me of what i could have been. dark green feels pure to me. it was the expected progression of my light green self before i turned red.

logically blue might be the kindest color because the ocean accepts everything with open arms but the sea doesn't always feel blue. beach days are usually more orange or light red/coral. when you think about it the ocean isn't really blue so it all starts to make sense.

blue is kind because humidity feels blue- when the air is damp and you breathe in pure dewy love, everything's alive. went to the beach while in residential this one time and it was overcast. i was the only one out of my wetsuit and i let the waves crash over me, arms outstretched. started singing true love will find you in the end. then i sang lost n found but not in a melancholy way, in a soothing closure kinda way. i think that's the bluest memory i have, other than libraries. braisin was there. that might have been the day we kissed.

apologies for being a pretentious cunt xxxx

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What are some songs you’re hoping to learn on guitar/bass 🥺 and are there any other instruments you’d like to learn how to play?

just wanna get more into bass. wanna learn a shit ton of stone roses stuff n television personalities n trampolene

that's where i am atm

[splittingdistanceconfessions]

LEGEND what’s your favorite Ed Norton film 🥺?

i love red dragon ok just hear me out. primal fear was such a convincing performance. he's good in red dragon tho i stand by my opinion anyway ed could've been a fucking great hulk if things would've gone differently. if they took a darker path, if his character had been more warped. because ed is amazing with dark tormented characters and what's more tormented than a man who can't even trust himself. i keep thinking about that avengers line where mark ruffalo's says something along the lines of "i tried to shoot myself ad the other guy swallowed the bullet" he can't die, he's hurting people, he's suicidal. if it had taken the route of joker (yeah, i know hulk came out way before joker but still) if they had amped up the metal illness and made it more ed-like it could've been great. i get so angry thinking about it there's totally a parallel universe where the incredible hulk was dark knight tier and i'm missing out on it

[splittingdistanceconfessions]

GUHRAY MY HOMIE who are some of your biggest fashion inspirations?

carl. just carl. jackals also pete sometimes. film characters. sad men in their thirties. take a lil from this guy, a lil from another guy n voila.

you n yr blazers as well homie x

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LEGEND! How is foosball going for you 🥺

going okay... my mom and joe both refuse to play with me cos they never score any points though :(((

dan's coming to stay with me (just the two of us) a few days from now (can't remember if i told ya) anyway i hope i'll be able to play with him

[splittingdistanceconfessions]

YOOOOO GRAY. What is a song/some songs you wish you wrote? Is there any difference between songs you wish you wrote and songs that are your favorites? Please feel free to elaborate if comfortable 🥺

fuck yeah ceo of awesome questions

for a song to meet 'favorites' criteria it has to evoke a certain emotion and feel genuine. that's pretty much it.

fuck yeah ceo of awesome questions. i adore that i don't wish i'd written. all of the natural bridge, for example, is so DISTINCTLY david berman that i would never wish to write it myself, if that makes sense. it's so unique to david's own experiences and perception of the world around him.

usually when i wish i wrote a song it's because i relate to it very strongly. also if i know the lyricist and i have similar experiences. for example, the first time i heard 'the bends' i was like oh my god this is exactly what i've been feeling, i should've wrote this, it's captured this emotion better than i ever could.

songs i wish i'd written- motorcycle emptiness, the entirety of death consciousness, i'm a boy i'm a girl- can't come up with any more rn gonna go back n edit this later when i have more ideas

[splittingdistanceconfessions]

favorite poets? favorite books?

HELP I’M PRETENTIOUS AND UNINTERESTING SKSKKSKSKSKSK.

My favorite poet is probably Arthur Rimbaud. I love Emily Dickinson, William Butler Yeats, Paul Verlaine, Sylvia Plath, TS Eliot, Allen Ginsburg, and William Blake too. There’s also this cool homie called Gray Harrison who you should check out. THEY ARE THE MASTER OF IMAGERY AND TUGGING AT MY WEAK LITTLE WHITE BOY HEARTSTRINGS

As for books, I have literally the worst taste ever. So I suppose my favorite book would be American Pastoral by Philip Roth. Roth is my favorite writer, but in most of his books it’s just *sex sex sex sex existential crisis sex sex sex* and in American Pastoral he’s just less horny? (Insert generic praise about the book’s criticism of nostalgia and the American ideal, insert generic criticism on the book giving off major generic centrist vibes, insert pretentious praise of the book for its prose, insert self deprecating comment on how I have bad taste)

Other favorite books! Very generic. The Catcher in the Rye, On The Road, Trust Exercise, Rabbit Run, The Stranger, Lunar Park, Survivor (written by the author of Fight Club woo woo!), Pale Fire, Crime and Punishment, The Fall, and Trainspotting. Maybe Lolita but I am now haunted by arguing with my middle school English teacher over it so perhaps not.

Also the writer of whoever wrote this big thick book of Beatles imagines on wattpad a couple years ago. There was this one where the reader was a trans dude and dating Paul McCartney that wasn’t written very well but gave me serotonin.

[splittingdistanceconfessions]

thoughts on fight club

*sigh* i‘m gonna sound really pretentious and shit (cause middle school me was) but the book was my favorite for a couple years. The movie is really epic too and the characters really feel more vivid imo in the movie than in the book (as in more fleshed out? I guess? I have no brain). Personally I like the book better cause the ending’s a little darker but they are both epic (and of course the usual stuff on how it’s brilliant critique of capitalism and masculinity and homoerotic overtones). I would also like to hear your thoughts too legend if you have anything you’d like to add 🥺

[splittingdistanceconfessions]

is the jam still yr favorite band of all time legend

Yep 🥺 Is yours still The Libs?