spare-the-dying

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i hope you write (i hope we both write)

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Being single forever and never experiencing romance is only sad for someone who actually wants to have those things.

When an aromantic person says they’ll be single forever, that’s not “sad.” That’s just a statement of what they want out of their life.

Imagine if I responded to someone calling their partner their other half with “that’s actually kind of sad. Are you saying you’re not a whole person on your own? Why would you want to be trapped with someone who makes you feel like you’re incomplete without them? Are you okay? Do you need help?” They would probably be annoyed with me and I can’t blame them. But that’s coming from the fact that they’re not viewing it the way I am; they’re actually happier with the person.

Personally, as an aromantic, I’ve never felt more broken than when I’ve tried to force myself to date and be alloromantic like everyone else. I would be miserable in a relationship no matter how healthy it was because I wouldn’t feel any of those feelings they’re feeling and I’d feel stuck either being honest and hurting them or playing the part for their sake and feeling even worse. And a major reason for all that is cause I don’t even actually want any of that. I’ve just also felt like I didn’t get a choice because before I discovered the aro community, as far as I could see, nobody was willing to entertain the idea of someone being single because they wanted to. You see characters in media that say “I don’t do romance” and they’re always paired up with someone in the end and always portrayed as happier for it. You see characters that actually stay single forever and they’re shown as having something so wrong with them nobody would willingly date them. You step outside of fiction and you talk to people and it’s never if you’ll get married, it’s always when. When you go to prom. When you have your first kiss. When you start dating. When you fall in love. When. When. When. Never if. Because god forbid we consider the possibility you won’t. God forbid we consider you might not even want to. And if they don’t, then we start dragging out the godforsaken yet. I don’t get crushes… yet. I don’t date… yet. I don’t want romance in my life… yet. When did you get your first crush? I’m 28. When will I be old enough for you to stop saying yet? And if this sounds romance negative, sorry, I’m just sharing how I’m feeling about it. But if you don’t want more aros as angry and sad about it all as me, maybe do us a favor and stop treating romance like something as inevitable as death and taxes.

I initially planned for this post to be way shorter but I don’t think I could find a shorter way to express the gravity of how insufferable it is to be told “that’s so sad” when I say I want to stay single. Cause if I’m being real, it isn’t fully comparable to any annoying thing I can say to an alloromantic. It won’t have the same weight. Throwing salt at someone’s face might lead to it getting in their eyes, but it won’t sting like it would if you did it to someone covered head to toe in paper cuts.

I don’t feel like I’m asking for much. Just entertain the notion that someone can be happy without a romantic partner. That being single, temporarily or for life, isn’t a sad fate.

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gale & karlach

i think out of all the dynamics between the companions, i've come to enjoy gale and karlach the most over my time with the game. karlach especially bc she's the only one who genuinely seems to care about and for gale.

she repeatedly checks in on him after the orb reveal and doesn't turn it into a joke about slurping carrots, or sipping wine, or wanting him to be gone entirely from the group.

not only does she advocate for him to stay three times, depending on which dialogue path you pick:

gale's background story reveal & the reveal about the netherese orb

Karlach: Come on. We all have our secrets - and our risks. If Gale leaves, we might as well disband completely. - Karlach: Absolutely. We're all risky in our own ways. We stick together anyway. Right? - Karlach: If having dangerous, otherworldly objects stuck in your skin is wrong, then Gale and I both have to go. We're not really splitting up, are we?

but she's also the only one who repeatedly asks him throughout the game how he is doing, to make sure how he's faring, both in general and with his debilitating condition:

act 2 - shadow-cursed lands banter

Karlach: Doing all right, Gale? Gale: Oh, you know... Still alive and kicking, despite being surrounded on all sides by an endless manifestation of darkness and decay... devnote: Almost with a sigh. That's just how things are - Grim humour to it. Karlach: I feel it too. Here if you need a pick-me-up.

act 3 - after mystra stabilised the orb

Karlach: How's the orb treating you, Gale? Gale: Oh, quite well as a matter of fact. Since it was stabilised, it's been humming along nicely. Gale: I have noticed one adverse side-effect. I seem to be losing hair in some, er, unexpected places. Karlach: I can only imagine.

i think it really bears repeating/stressing that no other companion does this. not one checks in on gale like karlach does, after his affliction has become known to his companions - with the exception of the protag potentially.

karlach also arguably has the strongest reaction in response to mystra's demands in act 2, showing again her care for gale, as well as her protective side:

Karlach: Aw, was that Gale's granddad? Player: That was Elminster Aumar - the most famous wizard in the realms. Karlach: Huh. Doesn't ring a bell. But all right! Must've had something important to say to Gale, if he came all this way. Good news, I hope. Player: I don't think it was. It turns out Gale has an explosive bomb in his chest - and Mystra has asked him to use it to blow up the heart of the Absolute. Karlach: Whoa, now. He's got a... well, I guess that would explain a little, but... Mystra... I mean, this is a lot to take in. Karlach: What's he going to do? - Player - Option 1: I think he's going to follow through with it. Karlach: Fuck me. There's devotion, and then there's stupidity. If the god of magic can't handle this without sacrificing Gale, she's no god at all. - Player - Option 2: I don't think he'd do that to himself, even if Mystra commanded it. Karlach: Good. I'm one hundred percent sure there's another way to bring down this cult. No true god would ask such a thing from her faithful. That's for certain. Karlach: Poor Gale. He must be in bits after hearing that. I'll distract him. Tell him I haven't read a book since secondary school, watch his face melt off. - Player - Option 3: I'm not sure. I think he's of several minds. Karlach: Well, tell him to pick the right one. Better yet, I'll do it. Fucking wizards, man! They always need help picking the simple, obvious option. Karlach: If Mystra can't think of another way to stop the Absolute than sacrificing Gale, she's no god worth worshipping. I'll say that to Gale - in, you know, gentle terms. - Player - Option 4: You know that bomb in Gale's chest? Mystra has asked him to use it to explode the heart of the Absolute. Karlach: She what?! Is she mad?! - Player - Option 5: Don't worry about it. Karlach: Karlach doesn't worry, she acts. So if Gale needs me, now's the time to tell me.

i particularly like that last response bc it really echoes throughout her relationship with gale ("karlach doesn't worry, she acts. so if gale needs me, now's the time to tell me.").

their banters are often playful, but also genuine. both karlach and gale tease each other, they joke with each other, showing how comfortable they are with each other despite their many differences, but there are also moments of understanding and care between them, allowing them to emphasise with each other:

Karlach: Man, it's good to be home. First round on who? Gale: She who thirsts buys drinks the first. devnote: Like it's a well-known saying Karlach: You won't pin me down with a rhyme, wizard! devnote: Jockeying with Gale (prob supposed to be Joking with Gale) Gale: She who declines gets the worst of the wines.

Karlach: Just when I was getting used to the sky again... Gale: Fear not, Karlach. Sun, moon and stars will still be there waiting for us. devnote: Reassuring Karlach: Meanwhile, this place is pretty spectacular, isn't it? Gale: No book or painting could ever do its strange beauty justice. But perhaps our stories might, when we return to the surface. devnote: Agreeing with Karlach, enjoying the sense of wonder as you explore

Gale: I've always felt flames to be a rather perfect expression of love, Karlach. Gale: Passionate, primal, capable of bestowing the most life-affirming comfort, or inflicting the profoundest damage. devnote: Listing the qualities of fire, Romantic, indulging in the poetry of the image Karlach: That's... pretty nice. Never thought about it like that. But now I will.

Karlach: Wouldn't mind a dancing axe of my own. Gale: A simple movement charm wouldn't be too hard to apply to such an object. I could conjure one up for you if you like? Karlach: Yes! I like! Gale: Very wel then. Once the city is saved, Karlach's Kinetic Cleaver will be first on my list.

Karlach: So, Gale - got any book recommendations for me?devnote: With concern Gale: You can read?! devnote: Taking the piss - knows full well Karlach can read, and that she's always claimed not to enjoy it Karlach: Very funny. Yes - I can read. School put me off big boring tomes. Sometimes I wonder what I'm missing. devnote: Friendly rather than flirtatious Gale: Say no more - I'll find the perfect book for you. I might even lend it to you from my library in Waterdeep. devnote: Jumping on the opportunity to give a book recommendation (a favourite hobby) Karlach: Ooh! Something with magic, please. And no devils.

even at his most vulnerable moments, karlach is there to support him:

before the stormshore tabernacle audience with mystra

Karlach: You can do this, Gale. And I'll be right here when you're done.

she allows herself to be protective of him and get angry on his behalf not after when it comes to mystra, but also when he is potentially kidnapped by orin:

karlach's reaction to gale being kidnapped

Karlach: That bloody freak won't get away with this. That's my wizard she took. And we're going to get him back.

once again, it's a good callback to her previous line: "karlach doesn't worry, she acts. so if gale needs me, now's the time to tell me."

she's willing to be needed by him - and he does need her. whether that is as a friend, or (if you chose to play so during an origin pt) as a romantic partner. it's a lovely dynamic either way.

#bg3 #i love them so much #also! if you like this dynamic check out my fic “restless all night”

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Poll for writers and artists

Whether you write fanfic or original works or paint/draw, be it fan art or original work or whatever else - I have to know, because I have a feeling this is going to be very decisive:

Please reblog for sample size!

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The Ashton/Chetney tag still only has two fics in it. It's been a year, and that means...

The Critical Role Summer Wildflowers Exchange is back!

Dreamwidth. Haven Discord Community. Ao3.

You do not have to join Haven to participate, although it is the fastest way to contact the mods. It also has sprint channels and writers who can help you puzzle out your prompt fills.

Please see the Ao3 link for more information. Drop by to see the fics from the last three years while you’re there!

Ineligible ships

Like last year, eligible ships are those with under 500 works.

Did you know that as of April 18th, kimallura still has only 481 fics? Counting all the fics where they only show up as a background pairing? Yes, it means we miss one or two ships that are popular side pairings, but it keeps us focused on the rarest ships. In the spirit of the exchange, we also ask that we prioritize ships other than the most popular pairing in the Candela section.

Timeline

(Add these dates to your calendar, if you're fancy)

Nominations open May 3rd (two weeks from today)

Sign-ups open on May 17th and close on the 31st

Assignments go out by June 3rd

No penalty deadline July 8th

Assignments due July 22nd

Works up July 29th

Creators revealed Aug 5th

🌼 See you soon! 🌼

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so, what i'm hearing is, i need to start watching critical role again.

#critical role spoilers #critical role #i have been keeping up on spoilers but #crownkeepers my beloved #i want to see them again

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I don't think I've ever met a disabled person who didn't have the idea of themselves as an abled person haunting them. That is the yardstick by which our many of our successes are measured, and our failures pitied.

It's great that you achieved that! If only you didn't have your disability holding you back, imagine what you could do!

It's too bad that you weren't able to do it. If you didn't have your disability, you may have been able to.

You start doing it yourself, too, comparing everything that you can do to what you could have done if you just didn't weren't disabled. Seeing yourself as an inferior version of yourself.

But we aren't inferior versions of ourselves. We are the only us who exists. There is not an abled version of us waiting to outshine us. We should not have to live in the shadow of someone who doesn't exist.

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Why do people stop commenting on fics if they’re more than a week or two old? Please comment on old fics. Tell me you like my one shot from 2014. Tell me you like my old multi-chap I finished in 2016 that I spent a year writing. I will be fucking thrilled.

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Straight ahead - Bark Europa

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Inktober Day 4: Hiding From the Sun

I made myself sad with this one lol, I really like it though! I also think it could benefit a lot from color, so I may turn this one into a full illustration eventually 👀💕

#whoaaa #amazing #bg3

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I love gen fics I love love love em!!! I know my gen fic pals might feel underappreciated beneath the sea of popular romance fics but like! I see you and I appreciate you and you give me such wonderful wonderful things to read. I love you gen fic writers I am giving you the most platonic head kiss

#thank u ^^ #gen fic my beloved

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DesiQuest is on NPR (Again!)!! 🎙️✨🥳 When you have 5 minutes, give a listen to Anjali Bhimani’s (Sitara) interview - she discusses how Aunties get a bad rap, the vast diversity of South Asian culture (and even within the DQ cast itself), and all the ways in which DesiQuest prioritizes inclusivity.

LISTEN HERE: https://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2024/04/04/anjali-bhimani-overwatch-desiquest

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Tidying the desktop* and ran across this just sitting there. Might as well post it.

*I had no choice. There was no more space for icons. :)

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Reblog for a larger sample size!

No "show results", if you're not a fanfic writer just be patient.

I saw a post about an anon saying it was embarrasing to have an ao3 account in your 30s (it's absolutely not), so I want to do a poll and see what the age range actually is.

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Someone so aptly pointed out that I forgot andhera in my onion headlines post and I already had one for him that I forgot to put in the post so now I made an extra special post just for them because they’re the specialest boy