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when i say i like hiking, i don’t mean “eight mile backpacking trip with special gear and an emergency beacon” sort of hiking, i mean a three mile loop to go look at pretty things and then a huge brunch after.

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I’m mean and cranky in the morning, but you need to wake me up cuz this 30 mins before checkout isn’t it

Okay thanks for communicating after the fact….

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Super cool and so happy that your cats are getting along but we agreed that we would work with my cats so they didn’t have to be locked in a room all the time. But here we are they still have to stay locked up and you’re basically forcing me to allow you to have this dog.

But so fucking glad your life is working out and your so fucking happy

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i have hired this fucking thing to stare at you

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not in the mood for this (everything)

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extremely fucked up that the only way out is through

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My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me “don’t worry, it’s getting better” in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man.

“Why are you American?” I asked, to which I got:

“Sorry, it’s getting better” in a stereotypical posh English accent.

“Why are you English?” I asked, amused.

“What is he normally?” He managed to ask.

“He? You’re not anyone else, you’re you.”

“Ugh, me” was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep.

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I fucked up and got in a car with a drunk driver and they almost killed us…. And their rants and reactions I just I can’t. I can not go out and drink with this person again. We have to take my car if we do… I just never again

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There’s a serial killer in your town. Unfortunately for them you are a necromancer and you have fun driving that maniac insane.

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sometimes i wonder what my cat named me

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I opened my copy of The Tale of the Body Thief & immediately had to close it again because of this silly little annotation

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I don’t understand why books have shifted from having summaries on the back of the covers to having one-line reviews.

Seriously though. I want to know what the book is about. Not that someone from the Evening Standard thinks it’s a masterpiece. 

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Mushroom night lights

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Is it true??????

Tumblr is shutting down?!?!?!!!!!!

#tumblr #shut down #maintenance mode #tumblr staff #I need answers