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yesterday was a funny day on twitter XD

https://twitter.com/GailSimone/status/1061786484028596224

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I recall at least one of you guys having worked with livestock animals. Why are cows so damn indestructible while horses keel over and die if mercury is in retrograde or a dog barked in Kazakhstan?

gettingvetted here.

Let me tell you a story about how livestock animals work.

In the beginning, God created the horse. God looked at the horse and saw that it was beautiful and strong. “However,” God said, “it breaks too easily.”

Then God created the cow. God looked at the cow and saw that it was more durable than the horse, and tasted good to boot. “However,” God said, “it poops too much.”

Then God created the goat. God looked at the goat and saw that it was perfect.

God looked around and saw that he still had some spare bits of fluff on his work table, but no brains to put into it. So then God created the sheep.

Now let me tell you what my equine surgery professor said on the first day of class.

“Horses are only interested in two things: homicide, and suicide.”

And that’s all you need to know about horses.

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without a doubt the breakout stars of this election cycle are the 6′10″ lieutenant governor of pennsylvania and his rockabilly wife

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Dad kept hiding pine nuts in the pages of this magazine and letting Edgar root around for them.

(Edgar cannot be released to the wild due to an injury. He now works as an ambassador bird and general household nuisance.)

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if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it. 

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I can’t believe they oblitered straight men like that

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This is everything. I’m cackling 😂😂

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Oh shit. It me.

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Really Big Coin Skrekkøgle

This is our Really Big Coin. It is big because it makes other things look small when photographed next to it. Actually, it is a 20:1 replica of the EUR 50-cent, you see it being milled out here. We needed to do quite a bit of sanding, lacquering and smudging to obtain the desired look and some climbing to get into required shooting position (you need to get up real high to take good pictures). The result is a short series of photographs, attempting to visually scale down real-sized objects.

Images and text via

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What astronauts see when they re-enter Earth’s atmosphere. (Source)

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lifehack: when you see a Take One candy bowl in a restaurant, wait until noones looking and shovel candy into your pockets. god may judge you but his sins outnumber your own

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They are the best ever. I hate making the first move as far as genital contact goes

S/O them girls who reach for the dick themselves

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Yes. Yes it is.

DAVID PLEASE. HOW FAR IS TOO FAR

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Nintendo in Real Life by David Expósito

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photos of sakurajima, the most active volcano in japan, by (click pic) takehito miyatake (previously featured) and martin rietze. volcanic storms can rival the intensity of massive supercell thunderstorms, but the source of the charge responsible for this phenomenon remains hotly debated.

in the kind of storm clouds that generate conventional lightning, ice particles and soft hail collide, building up positive and negative charges, respectively. they separate into layers, and the charge builds up until the electric field is high enough to trigger lightning.

but the specific mechanism by which particles of differing charges are separated in the ash cloud is still unknown. lightning has been observed between the eruption plume and the volcano right at the start of an eruption, suggesting that there are processes that occur inside the volcano to lead to charge separation.  

volcanic lightning could yield clues about the earth’s geological past, and could answer questions about the beginning of life on our planet. volcanic lightning could have been the essential spark that converted water, hydrogen, ammonia, and methane molecules present on a primeval earth into amino acids, the building blocks of life.

(see also: previous volcanology posts)

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Perfection

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Please send me more of these memes, I need to see literally every single one of them