sordezos

[sordezos]

Could you maybe write something for lia wälti? Maybe her and reader are babysitting a friends toddler, just some domesticity and lia swooning at r interacting with the kid

CAN’T WAIT - lia wälti

"me want to help!" poppy smiled sweetly giving you those cute little eyes that made it so hard for you to say no to. "okay, you can have your own special job!" you smiled as you picked her up and sat her on the counter top, a small little cheer coming from the four year old as you tried to think of something you could give her to do to keep her little brain occupied for some time.

“look, so first we snap the end off then you’ll can open and put the peas in here” you demonstrated to poppy how to do the pea pods and she nodded as you showed her, a little smile appearing on her face as she managed to open a pod by herself.

“good job!” you smiled, holding you hand up for the little girl to high five. your girlfriend watching on as her heart warmed watching you interact with the young girl, her mind wandering for a moment about what life would be like when the two of you had your own little family, leaving her wondering if you had thought about it too.

poppy was your older brothers daughter, a confident little girl who was not scared to say or do anything. which sometimes would get the little girl in some trouble but it would always make for great stories when she was older.

you and lia had offered to look after poppy after your brother was left stuck after your mum had gotten her dates mixed up and could no longer look after poppy while your brother and his wife went for some spa retreat for their anniversary.

and if you were being honest part of you was glad your mum had gotten her date mixed up as it had meant you could spend some quality time with your niece.

you had picked the little girl up from school, surprising her as she came out the classroom running into both yours and lia's arms while talking at a hundred miles per hour at how excited she was to see the both of you.

chatting both yours and your girlfriends ears off the whole car ride back to yours and lia’s home, telling you every detail of her day from what she had for breakfast to what colour pencil she coloured her drawing in with at school.

now she was ‘helping’ make dinner and by that she was just ordering you and lia around. “can you help?” she asked as she held up a pea pod for you to open for her, you had given her the job of opening a few of them but realistically she was just getting you or lia to open them for her so she could eat the peas out of them.

“don’t forget to put the peas in here poppy!” you reminded her pointing to the blue little tub you had given poppy minutes earlier, “i won’t!” poppy sung out, as you handed her the pea pod back, and within seconds she was slotting two peas in her mouth and putting one in the little blue tub.

“think it’s a bit late for that love!” lia whispered nudging you to look inside the bowl, where there was three little peas in there as you looked to the swiss and mumbled an ‘ah’

“poppy! your not supposed to be eating them!” lia said as she caught the little girl putting another one of the peas in her mouth instead on in her little blue tub.

“me not wally, there’s some in my tub!”

“i guess we aren’t having peas tonight..” you whispered in lia’s ear as you rested your head on shoulder, while reaching to get some of the other ingredients for dinner that were on lia’s side of the kitchen, pressing a quick kiss behind her ear.

“she too cute to be mad at, so i guess it’s okay!” your girlfriend quietly said at the two of you watched for a moment as poppy used her teeth this time to bite the end of the pod, putting all three peas in her mouth, the two of you quickly laughing at the little girls antics.

“me don’t like broccoli” poppy said as she watched you pick that up first out of the ingredients you had moved to your side of the kitchen counter, as she pulled a disgusted face as she watched you chop a little bit of the stork of the broccoli.

“don’t worry kiddo, we’ll keep the greens to a minimum for you!” lia smiled, knowing that you would put them in the dinner but cut them up really fine making the chances of the little girl even noticing them very slim.

“my daddy says they look like tiny trees he doesn’t like them either” poppy said making your girlfriend giggle at the comment as you smiled shaking your head, that was what your brother used to tell you mum when she would ask him to eat his broccoli.

“well he’s not wrong”

now that dinner was out the way, you had decided on a film to watch. curtesy of poppy's choice it was settled you were watching luca. which you knew she had only picked for one reason.

“can we please skip to the silenzio bruno part?” poppy asked looking up at both you and lia as she was tucked up in between the two of you in her princess pyjamas.

“pops, we gotta watch it from the start!” lia smiled moving the loose hairs out from the front of her face as poppy mumbled a fine.

lia looked over and smiled over at you, as you moved a little closer to lia resting your head on her shoulder as she played with your hair. your breathing slowing out as you felt your body begin to relax.

by the time the film actually got to the part poppy wanted it at she had fallen asleep, soft snores coming from the four year olds lips. “i’ll go and take her up” you said as lia nodded as she kissed your cheek before you moved.

lifting poppy up carefully along with her little stuffed toy that she had took attached to her all evening, and carefully retreating to the spare bedroom where you had set up made the bed for poppy - putting two pillows at either side to make sure she didn’t fall out of the bed during the night.

tucking the little girl in with her teddy and blanket before kissing the top of her head and leaving the little night light on that your brother said she slept with on when she was at home before moving towards the door as closing it a little bit.

quickly going back down the stairs to where lia was, and walking into the living room to see that the swiss had not moved a muscle as she scrolled through her phone that was in her hand.

crashing on top of the swiss with a big sigh as she groaned, luckily being able to move her phone out the way quick enough to avoid it hitting her in the face.

“who would have thought looking after a four year old would be so tiring” you mumbled into her chest as your eyes felt heavy with tiredness.

“basically a full time job, baby” lia whispered as she giggled a little as you felt the vibrations of lia’s laugh from her chest.

you sat up, straddling lia as her hands found your waist, travelling a little up the back of your hoodie tracing small circles in your lower back. “i can’t wait until that us with our own little baby” lia said, at your eyes widened and lia began to back peddle. “no- no that- i” her face full of worry, scared that she had said the wrong thing.

you cut lia off by kissing her, smiling into the kiss as you hands went to the back of her neck. the kiss was pure and full of love and reassurance, pulling away after a few minutes, pecking her lips a few more times before lingering close to lia’s face smiling big as her face was now relaxed.

“i can’t wait to start a family with you either”

[sordezos]

Healing (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: This took me a lot longer to finish than I hoped but it’s done. Grab a drink and get comfy because it’s a long one, in fact I think it’s my longest fic to date.

The world had its questions and you were well aware of the headlines.

Y/N Y/L/N quits football.

Where is Y/N Y/L/N? Here's what we know.

The best in the world has vanished.

If you find Y/N tell her Sarina is looking for her.

The last twelve months had been the hardest in your life. You thought you could prepare for it, that it would easier because you knew it was coming but that wasn't the case. The day it happened was the day your heart broke and as you buried her you knew you were burying part of yourself too.

You left the world speculating as to why you didn't extend your contract with Lyon, why you never signed for another club and more importantly people were wondering where you had disappeared to.

Both your club and country team mates knew about your personal life and the tragedy that happened shortly after the euros. 

You missed football, of course you did, but you also needed to take time away to process what had happened. A return date was never set but then the world cup happened. You watched your team mates cry after losing to Spain and you couldn't help but feel partially responsible. The game might have ended differently if you had played.

A decision had been made. It was time to return to the pitch. You had offers before and after the euros. The only question is what teams would still want you? 

The sun was setting in Barcelona as the team finished up a late training session. Most of the players stayed behind to take advantage of the free food given they knew once they got home they wouldn't have the energy to cook themselves.

“Lucy your phone is ringing” Ona shouts over to where the English defender is filling her plate. 

“Who is it?” Lucy replies. 

Ona’s face floods with guilt. Almost as if she shouldn’t be looking at the phone. This sparks interest of those around her but no one more than Keira who sees the name on the screen. 

“Y/N” Lucy all but ran back to table after hearing Keira say your name “is everything ok? Where are you? Yes I’m with Lucy. Before I hand you over promise me that you’re ok? Good” 

Keira hands over the phone and watches Lucy’s face as she tries to figure out why you called and what you are talking about. 

“Yes there are people around me. Ok, I’ll ask” 

When you hang up the phone Lucy does as you ask or at least she makes the first step. 

“Alexia” Lucy walks around to where the captain is sat with Mapi and Ingrid “Who would I talk about signing a new player?”

“It’s not our job to recruit players but if you know something that might help the club then tell me and I will ask” Alexia wasn’t stupid. She heard your name and now Lucy was asking this. It wasn’t a coincidence. 

“I can’t. This is a sensitive subject” 

“Vale. Talk to Jona and if he thinks the player is right for the club then he can set up a meeting” 

Alexia left the training facility that night thinking of you. You were at the peak of your career, many people considered you the best in the world and if she is being honest she thought you would win the Balon d’Or, not her. That night Alexia watched your highlights for hours, even the ones in the games against her. You really were a once in a generation player which makes it that much harder for Alexia to understand why you walked off the pitch at Wembley and hadn’t been seen on one since. 

The next day at training the energy felt different. Lucy and Keira had a sense of happiness that their team mates hadn’t seen before. They would gather around Lucy’s phone but then hide it when somebody came close to them. 

Jona came walking into the gym with Xavi Puig right behind him and called over both Keira and Lucy. A couple of players watch the conversation unfold and tried their hardest to read their lips.

“Ingrid, what are they saying?” Mapi nudges her girlfriend.

“They’re talking about Y/N Y/L/N” Alexia was stretching on the floor playing no part in the eavesdropping.

“How do you know?” Ingrid asks her.

“She called Lucy yesterday and then Lucy talked to me about the club signing a new player. I can’t know for sure but that’s what I think is going on”

A couple of days later you landed in Barcelona, greeted by the warm weather and your two England team mates who kept a low key appearance in the arrivals hall. You stop when you are a meter away them. You didn’t know what to do, you hadn’t seen them in almost a year. 

“Come here” Lucy throws her arms around you followed by Keira.

“We’re so happy to see you Y/N. We really have missed you” 

You remain quiet as you walk to the car. Both of them fill you in on what the team is like and you make sure to remind them that you haven’t officially signed yet.

“Jona mentioned that. You want a trial training session?”

“It’s the right thing to do” you didn’t want any special treatment. You wanted to earn the right to play for the club and not just be handed the contract.

“You could have not played football for 5 years and still run rings round all of us” Lucy knows you the most having played with her at both club and country. You were too humble in her eyes so she took it upon herself to remind you of your greatness from time to time.

“I never said I haven’t played football. That has been the thing to get me through the past 10 months” you didn’t mean to be a downer, in fact you didn’t know what you were saying until it was too late.

“How are you doing?” Keira asks from the front seat and you see Lucy eyeing you up in rear view mirror.

“Some days are harder than others and no day has been easy. She would be happy that I’m here though. She always said that if I didn’t go back to England then she’d want us to come here”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say her name. 

“She always did hate the french winters” Lucy laughs at the memories she shared with your wife.

Your mind goes back to just a couple of years ago. Lyon were playing at home and the weather was awful. You saw Natalia in the crowd shivering but still she cheered you on, she always was your biggest fan. Come rain or shine, your girl was in the audience. You hated the thought of playing without her being in the crowd but you also knew she wouldn’t want to give up your career.

“Y/N” Keira gently nudged your knee. It was obvious that you were taking a trip down memory lane and she didn’t want to scare you.

“Huh” you quickly wiped away a tear “Oh we’re here” you grabbed your backpack and jumped out of the car leaving them in the front not knowing what to do.

“Let’s leave her be. She knows we are here and will come to us when she’s ready”

You were in awe as you walked the halls of Joan Camper. The things the team has achieved were that of greatness. It was a club that created legacys and you found yourself feeling something that you hadn’t in a long time; excitement.

Lucy and Keira lead you to the locker room just as they were instructed to. The rest of the team were already out of the field which was part of the plan. There hanging in a corner locker was a training kit for you. You didn’t expect it and you definitely didn’t expect to have been given your number.

“You did this?” You ask the pair.

“Salma did. The team knows you called Lucy and when Salma heard to locker room rumours of you joining she insisted. Between us she is a big fan of yours, bigger than Luce”

“Not possible” the defender joked.

The boots were fastened and you were ready, well almost ready. There was one thing you wasn’t prepared for. You looked down at your necklace. It was a simple gold chain that held two rings: yours and Talia’s.

“I can’t do it” you slumped down in defeat and bury your face in your hands.

“Hey” Lucy crouches down in front of you “they let us wear jewellery for training, you can keep them on”

You walked out onto the field and all eyes fell on you. You felt like a spectacle and you hated the attention. They didn’t know the current version of you, they had only met the old Y/N so you channel her and introduce yourself to them during the next drinks break.

“I know some of us have met as opponents but this is different. I’m Y/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you all, I hope I can keep up” you make a joke hoping to avoid the elephant in the room.

“We’ll see about that. I’m Alexia” She is the first person to you.

“Lovely to meet you Alexia” 

It’s hard to explain the feeling when you’re playing football. It’s as if you mind switches off whilst also been completely focused. It take a few attempts to get into the rhythm that is Barcelona football but you catch on quickly. It comes as no shock to the rest of the team that you play in complete sync with Lucy and Keira. The two of them even stay back at the end to work with you on some movements that you weren’t pleased with.

Some players go shower but a few stay behind, albeit out of sight, and watch you. 

“She has a gift” Alexia says to nobody in particular.

“Nobody has seen her in over a year and this is how she is playing. Look, she is running rings around them. How is that possible?” Patri adds.

“Does anybody know where she was?” Pina asks the small group.

“No but I could ask Ingrid or Caro to ask Ada. They are best friends and surely you would tell your best friend where you are going” Mapi forms a plan in her head, one that she will soon find out to be a bad idea.

“Do it” Alexia tells the defender “We are a family here and if she joins us then we have a right to know where she has been”

When Barcelona posted a photo of you signing a contract on their socials the world went crazy. The media were relentless and the fans were quick to show their support for you even though some were skeptical about your sudden reappearance and new team. 

You ignored them for the most part as they had no idea what had happened. You fit into the team almost right away and was enjoying every game with Barcelona. You scored on your debut and had been involved in a goal every game since. Months had passed and much to your surprise you had only been asked about the missing year once or twice. 

Caro refused to ask Ada about you and Ingrid only did when her girlfriend became obsessed with finding out the truth. Ada’s answer was simple ‘I won’t tell you and if she doesn’t want you to know then you should respect her wishes’.

You remained a mystery though and for the most part the team seemed to forget about your missing year. 

When the second international window came that is when things changed and you felt like you made a friend. Mapi still wasn’t representing her country so she reached out and asked if you wanted to meet up for a coffee. 

Anybody could easily be intimidated by the blonde but you liked her. She had this energy that made you know accepting her invite was a no brainer. That and you had questions of your own. 

“How did you know?”

Mapi places down a a small coffee in a glass; a cortado. 

“I asked Keira what you ordered”

A comfortable silence took over as the two of you sipped on your coffees. You found it funny the way Mapi looked at you then her coffee and back to you again. You recognised the signs; you were making her nervous. Why though you had no idea.

You decide to make the first move and you get straight to the point much to the defender’s surprise.

“I spoke with Ada”

This got her attention. You had your suspicions but the look on her face confirmed it. Still, she played along.

“That’s nice. You’re very close, no?” Mapi tried her best to look innocent but you weren’t having any of it and the look on your face told her that.

“She had an interesting conversation with Ingrid. Do you happen to know anything about this?”

She did. You know she did. 

“No” you got a sheepish look from Mapi and you wondered if she knew how unconvincing she was being.

“I think you did. I think you got Ingrid to ask Ada about me”

“Lo siento”

“Here’s the thing I don’t understand. I know you all want to know, you’ve been whispering about me for months yet not one of you has come to me and asked me directly. You have been going behind my back trying to dig up information about a time that I clearly don’t want to talk about”

Mapi dips her head. She truly thought that her and the team were been careful but obviously not. 

“Maria, I want you to put yourself in my shoes. Would you want to talk about it with strangers when you barely talk to your best friends about it?”

The defender thinks about it for a moment. You had barely left Lucy and Keira’s side but she hadn’t really heard you talking, you were always listening to what they were saying and replying when necessary.

“It was bad wasn’t it?” She asks. 

“The worse year of my life” you confess and you can your throat close at the thought of the months in question.

“We are in jail?” 

You cannot help but chuckle at her words.

“No, I was not in jail”

“Did you kill somebody?”

“No, I did not kill anybody”

“So no crimes were committed?”

“Is that what you have all come up with? That I broke the law?” 

“Most of us, yes. Aitana think’s you were in the hospital because you were sick”

Her response came at the worst time possible. You spit your coffee out when you hear the midfielder’s suspicion. 

Technically she was right. You were in the hospital but you weren’t in the hospital.

“I wasn’t sick” 

“Clearly. Look at you, you’re huge. I mean you are big. No, you are strong”

“Calm down Mapi, I know what you mean. Thank you” 

The two of you stay in the cafe for another hour. You take this time just the two of you getting to know one another. You ask Mapi about her tattoos and she learn’s you have a few of your own which are hidden on your back. When she asks for their meaning you promise you will tell her the stories another time. 

You both walk to the metro station and by coincidence you end up of the same train. You get off before her and just before the door opens, Mapi grabs your hand.

“I’ll get them to stop. You don’t owe us an explanation, Y/N” 

“Thank you Maria” 

You’re not sure what the tattooed defender said but the whispers stopped or so you thought. They stopped whispering in front of you but little did you know the speculations were still going on behind your back. It is early in December when things come to a head and you snapped. 

“What do you mean she is staying Spain?” Alexia asked Salma. 

“That she is staying her in Barcelona. She said she might go to Valencia for a few days but that’s it” the forward wasn’t sure what to say or if she should have said anything at all.

“And you don’t think that is strange? This is woman who used to love England. The fans called her Queen of England, por dios. How can she be apart of this team if we know nothing about her. She is lying to us” Alexia ranted on and who knew how much longer she would have continued if not for Lucy interrupting her.

“Alexia, that is enough!” Lucy slams her fist on the locker before turning to her captain “She has come to this team and done nothing but good. She plays well for us and gives it her all on the pitch. Off it she makes the effort and yes sometimes she says no to things but isn’t that her right? You stand there as our captain but look at you, you’re nothing but a bully. I am ashamed to say i’m your team mate right now. That girl has been through hell these past couple of years and since coming here all you keep doing is reminding her of what has happened. You are obsessed with her. Look around, no one else is digging for information. No one is making her uncomfortable on a daily basis”

“She is lying to us. She won’t tell us where she was for over a year. She is hiding something and that isn’t fair on us” Alexia tried to defend her actions.

“Isn’t fair? Are you really that self centred? You have no right to talk about what is and is not fair. I don’t care if you are my captain, I won’t stand by you while you treat my best friend like she has done something wrong. You, Alexia, are a —“

“Lucy” The whole locker room turns upon hearing your voice “I have given up on Alexia, it’s time you do too”

“No! I won’t let her talk about you that way. You don’t deserve this”

“No I don’t but —“

“Y/N” Lucy begs you to let her fight you case.

“Walk away Lucy” 

A stare down takes place between you and Lucy. A few seconds later the defender grabs her stuff and leaves the room. To everyone else you are calm and collected but Keira recognises the look in your eye, you are furious.

“I want everyone to listen to me and listen good. My past is none of your business. To those who have let the obsession go, thank you. To those that haven’t” you look Alexia dead in the eye “I want nothing to do with you. I will remain civil on the pitch. Other than that I ask you to stay away from me. That’s if you can respect my wishes. I know it has been hard so far”

You quietly gather your things and try to ignore the multiple sets of eyes on you. With each second you can feel your chest getting tighter and you know it is only a matter second before you will no longer be able to control your breathing. You just needed to get out of there, away from prying eyes.

The hallway is the furthest you get. Your mind was filled of flashbacks, the moments that you tried so hard to bury. The past was not a pretty place, not the last year, but you know that it was only a matter of time before it came crashing down on you. 

“Y/N, are you ok?” Mapi and Ingrid are by your side, clearly the couple had left just after you.

“Natalia, she, she” 

Ingrid and Mapi shared a look, who was Natalia? They had never heard you mention a Natalia before. Both of them didn’t know what to do. Whilst you had become friends with the pair, they didn’t know you well enough to cope with this moment. 

Luckily for them Keira appears out of nowhere. The English woman clearly equipped with what to do.

“Get Lucy, now!” She whisper shouted and Ingrid goes running hoping to catch the defender before she leaves.

“Keira—Natalia”

“I know, I know. We can talk about her later if you want. Right now, I need to focus on me. Can you do that?” 

You nod your head as tears flow down your cheeks. 

“What happened?” Lucy rushes over to you.

“We found her on the floor. She kept talking about Natalia” 

“She told you?” Lucy asks shocked. She knew you wasn’t ready to tell them team but in a state of panic you might be let it slip.

“No. She only said her name” Mapi says. She couldn’t take her eyes off you. This wasn’t a panic attack, no she had seen one of those before. This was something much more intense.

A few minutes pass and Keira manages to keep your breathing under control but you’re still not ready to move. Lucy, Mapi and Ingrid stay close making sure to tell anyone who passes to keep moving.

“What is going on?” Alexia asks with concern, a concern that doesn’t reach Lucy in fact her asking is the worst thing she could have done.

“Get away from her” Lucy is up on her feet and pushing Alexia backwards. She would has fallen to the floor if not for the wall behind her “This is all your fault. You see this, you see her, this is what you have done to her”

“Lucy” you reach up and take her hand. The defender used her strength to pull you up. 

You, Lucy, Keira, Mapi and Ingrid walk towards the exit of the stadium.

“Y/N” Alexia’s voice is soft and it is only now that she realises she might have taken things too far.

You turn around to face the Catalonian. For the first time since arriving you make no effort to hide the pain you have felt on a daily basis.

“I want nothing to do with you Alexia”

A week had passed and Alexia started to worry about you more so than she wanted to let on. Lucy and Keira were visibly worried about you and kept an eye on you at all times. She was confused at how things got this bad. Yes, she knew that maybe things had been taken too far but you didn’t show rage, your energy radiated nothing. You were numb. The Barcelona captain had no idea how to make things right with you.

You wore a smile on your face in front of the cameras and fans but behind closed doors it’s liked you switched your emotions off. Alexia asked Mapi about you but it seemed that even her closest friend was on your side. The zaragozian and her girlfriend had become close with you since the incident and Alexia didn’t understand why.

One night she found herself knocking on Mapi’s door hoping to find out how things got so bad.

When the captain was let in there is an evident scowl on Ingrid’s face which Alexia did not expect. The Norwegian excuses herself stating that she needed to go to the supermarket.

“Mentiroso” Alexia says to herself.

“Watch it Alexia. She has her reasons” Mapi jumped to her girlfriend’s defence.

Mapi leads Alexia over to the kitchen table and gets a glass of water for the two of them.

“You’re here about Y/N, aren’t you?” her captain nods “I don’t know what to tell you. What happened in the locker room was bad Ale. We didn’t leave the stadium when you thought we did. Y/N used everything in her to make sure Lucy didn’t do something she would regret. I don’t know what happened during those months but whatever we think it is, it’s so much worse. I shouldn’t be telling you this but she kept mentioning Natalia, I don’t know who that is but I think something happened to her”

Alexia thought she felt guilty about the way things went down with the two of you but that failed in comparison to how she was feeling now. To think that you were grieving someone and her questions were it worse for you, well it made her feel ashamed. 

She knew that she hadn’t been the most welcoming. Yes, you and her got a long on the pitch and yes, you were ok at training but she hadn’t made the effort she should have to make you feel at home in Barcelona.

“I don’t know how to fix it Mapi. You know I like her, I think she is amazing—“

“You were her biggest fan” the blonde teased

“But what if I’ve ruined any chance for being friends with her? What if what I’ve done is undoable?” Alexia ignores Mapi comment seen as though she knows she cannot deny it.

Mapi was at a loss for words. She always has had her friend’s back but there was something about you which made her want to protect you and Alexia was someone that you needed protection from.

“You need to give her space Alexia. This week alone I have seen you walk towards her then walk away at least 6 times. Y/N even asked me why you were doing it. You’re making the girl feel uncomfortable” 

Alexia mentally scolded herself for her behaviour which in her defence she did not think anyone noticed. 

“So space?” Alexia asks.

“Space” Mapi confirmed.

Alexia found it hard at first because she wanted nothing more than to make things right with you but she did as suggested, she gave you space. She saw you start to come out of your shell a bit more as December rolled on. The day game before the Christmas break you were playing in Madrid and that is when Alexia heard you discussing your winter plans with Keira.

“Keira, that’s a sweet offer but I’m sure. I’m going to stay in Barcelona, it is my home now”

The Catalonian took a little comfort in knowing you had grown the love her city despite the hostile behaviour.

“Y/N, it’s Christmas. She would want you to be home for that” your friend asked.

“I don’t know if I can handle going back for Christmas. It would hurt too much”

It felt wrong for Alexia to eavesdrop on your conversation so she leaves out of respect.

“She wouldn’t want you to avoid England. The two of you spent years in France and both of you said coming home to England was your favourite thing to do”

“Keira, stop. It was our favourite thing. There is no more our, no us. It’s just me”

Keira could see your hands shaking. This is the first sign of your panic attack so she drops the subject. She does suggest you going away with them for new years and you said you would as long as it isn’t in the UK or France. 

The team had one last recovery session before the winter break and it’s safe to say when it was done everyone was more than happy to go home. You wished everyone a Merry Christmas and without knowing it, Alexia is included.

“Feliz Navidad Alexia, por tu y tu familia” 

“Gracias Y/N” 

To Alexia this was a gift in itself. Maybe you were opening up to idea of forgiving her. After that you quickly grab your stuff and run off to where Ingrid was waiting for you.

After that interaction, Alexia couldn’t stop thinking about you. She also thought she was hallucinating when she saw your name appear on her phone screen. In the rush of leaving the training facility you picked up the wrong bag, only realising when got home a few hours later and your shirt had an 11 on instead of a 7. You texted Alexia asking if you could meet up to get your stuff back. Alexia, at that point was already at her mother’s house so she sent you that address and told her mum that you were coming over.

You tried to ease your nervous as you drove to your captain’s mother’s house. It was going to be awkward, this much you knew but regardless of the place you and Alexia were in, you wanted to make a good impression on her family. 

The knock was gentle as you stop on the door step.

“Y/N, hola. Adelante”

You didn’t know that word meant but you put two and two together and guessing in meant come in so that is what you did. Eli leads you to the living room after telling Alba to go get her sister. Eli headed back into the kitchen and left you in the living room. You didn’t want to take a seat, it wasn’t that kind of visit so you looked around and a wall of photos gains your attention.

Alexia couldn’t have been more than 7 years old. She was adorable. Next to her stood her younger sister and behind her, her parents. You didn’t recognise the man so you assume Alexia’s father works away a lot as you have never seen him at a game.

“That’s Jaume, Alexia and Alba’s father” Your cheeks flush in embarrassment at being caught stooping.

“And your husband” you turn to face the woman “I haven’t seen him around, does he work in a different city?”

“Jaume passed away a little over ten years ago” 

She is a widow, like you. That is the first thing you thought. In that moment you had so many questions for her but this is a woman you had only just met. It’s not exactly the small talk she would be expecting. The two of you go quiet and you guess she is thinking about her lost love, just as you are thinking about yours.

Alexia comes downstairs, your bag in hand but stops at the door was upon seeing you in conversation with her mother. Alba nudges her forward but she doesn’t move. The two of them watch you.

“Does it ever get easier?” The question was out of your mouth before you could stop it.

The two sisters share a look. They had no idea what you were talking about and by their mother’s response, she didn’t either.

“Que?” As expected, the question catches Eli off guard.

“Living without the person who promised you forever” you turn to face the older woman with tears falling down your cheek.

“Oh Querida, come here” 

You feel comfort in her arms and for a brief few seconds you forget that she is a stranger. In this moment she is someone who understands your pain and that is more than enough for you. When you pull away you see Alexia and Alba, you feel extremely exposed.

“Hi. You must be Alba” you wipe the last of your tears and extend your hand towards the younger Putellas.

She swats away your hand and pulls you into a hug.

“So formal” Alba laughs “you’re even hotter in person” 

“Alba!” Both Eli and Alexia scold her.

“What? I’m being honest” 

“Thank you, I think. Is that mine?” You point the bad Alexia is holding.

“Yes. Sorry for the mix up” 

“No, no. It was my fault. I was running late for dinner with Ingrid. I left yours in the hall as I wasn’t sure where to put it”

Alexia stared at you almost as if frozen in place.

“Was I not suppose to do that? I can go get it for you”

“This is the most you’ve spoken to me since joining” Alexia was honest with what she was thinking.

“It must be the Christmas air” you laugh a little “speaking of, you three clearly have plans so I will leave you be” 

Eli tries to get you to stay but you can’t. The woman knew too much and even though shared the same pain, you knew it was only a matter of time before the pity eyes came. You also didn’t know how much the two sisters had heard.

Alexia asked and asked what the you and her mother were talking about but the woman refused to tell. The only answer Alexia got was to be careful with you and that not all is as it seems. It seemed to be enough for Alexia but she wasn’t giving up on you, not just yet.

She kept an eye on you over the Christmas break and just as you said you stayed in Barcelona. Alexia all but stalked your Instagram and even went as far as texting you some recommendations. You felt something towards the midfielder and it made you think that you might have been a little harsh on her. You made a mental reminder to speak to her once the break was over.

The first game back was away to Bilbao and it brought you the perfect opportunity to speak to Alexia as the two of you were roomed together. It was late by the time you got there so everyone went straight to their room. 

“Oh Y/N I don’t know what happened” Alexia says as she swiped the room key. 

“What are you — oh I see” 

There was only one bed, albeit a large double bed. 

You hadn’t shared a bed in almost a year and you wasn’t sure if you were ready for it. Now you had to find  a way to explain this to Alexia.

“I’ll sleep on the floor” Alexia suggests and even though you weren’t ready, you also knew you wasn’t going to let her do that.

“Alexia you are one of the most important players on the team. I cannot let you sleep on the floor. Take the bed, I’ll take the floor”

“Y/N, you are important too. You are our highest goal scorer. I am taking the floor, don’t argue with your captain”

She refused to take no for an answer and you hated it. When you came out the shower Alexia was on the floor and it looked awful. It was almost funny and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Don’t say anything. Bed” Alexia laughed along with you.

The room was dark except from the street lights then peaked through the curtains. Sleep wasn’t coming easy to you and by the sounds of tossing and turning, Alexia was struggling too. 

“Alexia, come sleep in the bed” The thought of having someone sleep next to you wasn’t something you necessarily wanted but Alexia sleeping on the floor wasn’t fair.

“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable” 

There was something in her tone. She wasn’t talking about sharing the bed with a team mate, she was talking about sharing a bed in general. 

“She told you” Eli had to have told alexia about your conversation. 

“Who?” Alexia asked even though she knew you were talking about her mother. 

“Your mother. She told you about what I said”

“I asked but she didn’t tell me anything. I’m sorry that something happened to your friend” 

You sat up upon hearing her condolences. 

“My friend. What are you talking about?” 

Alexia, now sat up too, looked at you as if saying you know what I’m talking about.

“Natalia?” 

She said her name. Nobody had said her name. They knew it would cause too much pain. 

In that moment you are brought back to the last time someone said her name. It was the 5 November 2023 in a hospice not to far from your shared home in London. Natalia was the strongest woman you knew and no one would ever come close to her in your eyes. Yet just after Euros she told you that her time was coming, that the cancer was starting to win. You begged her to fight, you weren’t ready to lose her but you knew that you had been on borrowed time for many many years. The last person to say her name was a nurse as your wife took her final breath before she was called home.

“She was my wife” you could feel your nose twitch as a ball of emotion built in your throat. You knew the day was coming when you talked about her but you didn’t think it would come in Bilbao with Alexia now sitting at the foot of your bed.

The Catalonian knew she heard you correctly but she still sat in disbelief. She had no idea you were dating anyone let alone you were married. Alexia could do nothing but watch as you bury your head in your hand as your body racks with sobs. She wants to hug you, to hold you and to tell you to let it out but you weren’t that close. 

When you aggressively wipe your eyes you notice Alexia looking prettified and you cannot help but burst of into a fit of giggles.

“I’m going to go get Lucy or Keira or anyone else who isn’t me” your captain panics and makes a bee line for the door. She is stopped in her tracks as your hand grabs her wrist.

“You don’t have to”

She didn’t believe you and that was made obvious as her eyes dart back and forward between you and the door. 

“Isn’t this what you have been wanting? To know why I walked away” you pat the side of the bed next to you.

You saw the hesitation is Alexia’s eyes. In that moment she wanted to respect your boundaries and you appreciated that but for the first time in a while the thought of talking about Natalia didn’t make you feel like you would break. 

Once she sat down you turn to face you and you saw the look many people had given you. She felt sorry for you. 

“I didn’t know you were married” 

“Not many people did. We never hid anything. If you look you’ll see her in a lot of photos, she always supported me” you get comfy knowing that this is going to be a long conversation “I’m a private person and all I ever wanted to do was protect her” 

In that moment Alexia understood for she too was a private person. She knew that she was in the limelight but she still kept herself to herself off the pitch. 

“How did she—“ Alexia stopped talking as soon as she realised what she was about to ask “sorry, I shouldn’t have said that” 

“Leukemia” you closed your eyes, took a deep breath and counted to three “she first got it when she was six. We used to take the day off school to go to the hospital. She would call me her emotional support friend” you laugh as you remember the way she made you wear a badge “she won the battle only for it to come back when she was 16 then again at 28. The third battle was the hardest for her and it was the one she lost” 

Alexia caught the way you couldn’t look at her whilst you talked about the hardest times of your wife’s life. 

“She sounds like a strong woman” 

“Oh she was the strongest. She went through so much yet you never would have known it. Natalia had this heart that was big enough to like up the whole world. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her. She supported me in the youths teams, was in the stands when I made my Arsenal debut and moved to France with me when I signed for Lyon. She said she’s followed me everywhere because she knew I’d be lost with her” 

When Alexia sees you laughing, she joins in too. 

“Things got bad just before the euros. I was so close to withdrawing but she begged me to go. She wanted to see me lift that trophy and I did, I did it for her. I didn’t know how bad it was until afterwards and I made the decision to be by her side. We did all the things on her bucket list. A couple of months later she couldn’t fight it anymore. Her strength was gone and the light was barely there. I was able to be by her side as she took her last breath” 

Alexia didn’t stop you as you got off the bed and made your way towards the window. She could tell by the way your hand went straight to your face that you were crying. 

“You wanted to know why I walked about?” You turned to face her and in that moment, knowing what she did, Alexia felt guilty. Guilty for reminding you of the loss you had suffered. 

“I walked away because I didn’t feel like I had a purpose. For so many years I played for her. I scored to see a smile on her face and I won my trophies so that I can give her my medals. I couldn’t return to Lyon without her and it felt wrong being in England” 

“Y/N I’m —“

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry. You didn’t kill her, the cancer did” 

You hated it when people told you they were sorry for your loss. Why? Why are they sorry? You heard it so many times that it made you numb. 

Alexia could tell that you were feeling a lot right now. She wanted to be there if you wanted to talk more about Natalia but she also knew the importance of changing the subject when it’s needed. 

“Can I ask you a question?” She looked at you with a sincere gaze.

“You can. Is it about Na—“ 

Alexia shakes her head.

“Why Barcelona?” 

It is a question that she had been desperate to know. You have now told her why you weren’t ready to go back to Lyon but plenty of teams would have offered you a contract if you announced your return.

“I said it wasn’t about her but turns out it was. Talia loved Spain and Barcelona was her favourite place. I honestly thought I would retire at Lyon but she always said that if she could pick a team I play for them she would choose Barcelona. When I decided to come back, it felt right to sign for Barcelona. Also, Lucy and Keira are here. As you have seen, I have depended on them quite a bit and I knew that it wouldn’t be easy so having someone who knew made everything easier”

You could see Alexia processing what you had told her. 

“I’m happy you don’t play for Lyon anymore”

“Yeah, you might be able to beat them now”

Alexia stared you down and you wondered what her next move would be. Turns out you didn’t have to wait long because a pillow soon smacked you in the face.

You both burst into laughter when the pillow fight turns competitive.

“We really should be getting some sleep” Alexia says as she stands.

You took a second to think. 

“You can sleep in the bed Alexia. I won’t freak out you know”

“Y/N I can’t. Not now”

“Oh stop. I’m not some fragile little doll that will break if she shares a bed with someone. Now get in bed” 

You pull the duvet back and pat the bed. It is only when Alexia gets in that you realise she is on your side and you are on Talia’s.

“You know this is my side of the bed” Alexia says as she gets comfy.

You had your reasons for sleeping on that side. You want to be closest to the door in case someone broke in. You wonder if Alexia has a reason.

“Got to make sure no one comes in and kidnaps you. Buenas noches Y/N” 

You fall asleep that night with ease. You no longer feel the weight of keeping your emotions at bay and having Alexia knowing the truth makes you feel at ease around her for the first time since you joined the club.

From that day on things were different between you and Alexia. You found yourself spending more time with her than you did with Lucy and Keira. The two of them found it strange but didn’t question it. Whilst the defender was still very much protective over you, she did see a change in her captain which lead to her giving her the benefit of the doubt. 

Life in Barcelona was finally what you imagined. Even in January the sun was shining and the sky was blue, unlike the weather you have been used to. The pain in your heart was still there but for the first time in a long whilst you felt happy or at least the closest thing to it that you could feel. Alexia has invited you to family dinner which happened after every other home game. Her mother and sister made you feel welcome. You had become rather close with Eli as she would often reach out to talk to you and check in with you. She didn’t need to say much, the fact that she could understand was more than enough. 

Alba was quite the character and there was never a dull moment with her. She would relentless tease her sister and it had you holding stomach with laughter.

You had received some calls that made you think about a few things. You thought about talking to Lucy and Keira about it but you knew their decision would be biased so you confided in Alexia one night as the two of you walked Nala along Barceloneta.  She helped you work though the feelings that the question brought up and by the the time you arrived back to your apartment, which you learnt was in the building opposite to hers, you knew what your decision would be. 

During the game against Atleti there was a certain Dutchwoman in attendance. It was the second to last game before the Nations league semi final, a game that England has got to by the skin of their teeth. Barcelona came away with a 2-0 win and a lot of the players stayed out on the pitch afterwards to greet the fans that came to support them.

Sarina stood near the locker room and praised the team as they entered. 

“Are you here for Lucy and Keira?” Aitana asked as she walked down the hall.

Behind her walked the two English women, along with Alexia. The latter knew to expect her, it made sense for her to come see you in person. The other two clearly had no idea that their national team coach was coming.

“She isn’t here for them” 

Alexia’s words cause Lucy and Keira’s heads to turn in surprise. 

“Y/N’s still out on the pitch. She is playing with Irene’s son Matteo, shall I go get her?”

“No, I can wait” 

Just as three of them were about to enter they hear your voice followed by a child’s laughter. You walked down the tunnel with Irene and her little boy. Sarina saw just how happy you were and for a brief moment she regretted coming. She questioned whether or not this is what is best for you.

“Gaffa” you saw the look on your team mates faces and chuckled. Surely they knew it was only a matter of time before Sarina came knocking “Let me get showered quickly and we will go” 

“But we’re going out tonight. It’s team night” Aitana sulked.

“I’ll meet you guys there” 

Alexia and you shared a look. She knew what this conversation was going to be about and she was pretty sure she knew what the outcome would be and she was worried. You squeezed her shoulder and smiled before going into the locker room.

It was over 3 hours later that you finally enter the restaurant that the team were eating at. 

All heads turned to you as you walked through the door. The seat reserved for you happened to be next to Alexia which you don’t think was an accident. Lucy and Keira were sat opposite you and you see the look of suspense in their eyes. They hadn’t officially been told what you and Sarina were talking about but they had very good guesses. 

The rest of the team were having their own conversations and you didn’t want to make a scene so you nodded your head and that was enough confirmation for them.

“Yes!!” Lucy stood up suddenly and slammed her hands on the table.

“Holy fuck. Lucia, sit down”  

Lucy does as her told.

“Our captain is back” Keira said to herself. 

You tried your best to include yourself in the conversations around you but your mind kept wandering. You found yourself staring off into the distance. It is only when you feel a gentle hand on your thigh do you realise just how spaced out you were.

“Is everything ok? Did your coach say something because if she did then—“

“Stand down Ale” Alexia’s eye soften at the nickname. It wasn’t a new one for her but you had only just started calling her it and she loved it “I’m just thinking is all. What if I’m not good enough? What if I don’t have a place in that team anymore?” You lean into her and whisper.

“Y/N, they are your team. Yes you took some time away but you lead them for a long time and you told me they knew your reasons. It might take some time to get back into things but you will soon be back to how you were before. Besides if things go well for both of us then we will have a World Cup rematch on our hands and I want to see what might have happened if you played in the summer” 

Oh you didn’t think about that. You hadn’t given your upcoming opponents a second thought. Alexia was right. If England beat France then they will face Spain in the national league final. 

You thought there might be some awkwardness when you walked through the doors at the England camp but you couldn’t have been more wrong. Each player welcomed you with open arms and the players that you didn’t know as much treated you like everyone else did.

There were a few moments when you got pulled aside by Sarina for what she called her mental health checks. She promised that nothing said between you would be told to anyone else and you chose to believe her. You were honest about how heavy the shirt felt when it had the England badge on and you told her of the nerves you were feeling about playing for your country again.

Alexia had kept texting you to check in and for the most part you told her the truth. It was the day before the match when you got overwhelmed and instead of lying, you chose to ignore her. You knew it wasn’t fair but wanted to stay focused. You could bury your feelings for 24 hours. Alexia on the other had wasn’t going to give up on you.

“Alexia” Jenni nudged her friends leg “Earth to Alexia” 

The woman in question had her eyes glued to the her phone as you sent you yet another message.

“What do you want!” Alexia snaps.

“Hey, don’t snap at me. Who you texting? Is it a girl?” Jenni peaked over her shoulder.

“No” Alexia pulled her phone closer to her chest “It’s Y/N”

“Y/N Y/L/N is a girl last time I checked” Jenni couldn’t help but tease.

“She but I don’t like her like that, well I do. Wait! I don’t” Alexia slumps down in her seat  “Oh Jenni, I don’t know how I feel”

Jenni hasn’t seen her friend like this in a long while. Normally Alexia knows what wants and isn’t afraid to go for it. This though is different. It’s almost like she knows what she wants but she is hesitating and Alexia doesn’t hesitate.

“It’s ok not to know but something is clearly bothering you. What is it?” 

“She is ignoring me”

“Last time I saw you you told me she didn’t want anything to do with you”

So much had changed since then and she didn’t know how to explain it. In the end she told her everything she could without going into the finer details. Alexia confesses her feelings and explains that she cannot get a hold of you and that none on your team mates were answering either.

“Alexia, I may not know why she stopped playing football but I saw the way she played, she loves the sport. Her playing for England again is a big deal. Everyone is talking about her press conference she did this morning, it’s all over social media” 

Alexia wasn’t aware of a press conference. She never goes on social media the day before a match because it is quite often a distraction. Jenni picks up on her friend’s obliviousness and gives alexia her phone so she can see what is being said.

Jenni was right. You are everywhere. 

Y/N Y/L/N makes her return but what does it mean? Why now?

Sarina Weigman confirm Y/N is the captain of this team despite turning her back on them.

Beth Mead ruled out for Semi final, should be back for final if England are successful.

World Cup rematch? Y/N says that Spain wouldn’t have won if she was playing.

Alexia read headline after headline, article after article. She was beginning to feel overwhelmed so she couldn’t imagine what you must have been feeling. The last headline made the Catalonian laugh because she too had thought about what the outcome might have been if you were playing.

“I think the last one is a stretch” Jenni mumbles.

“We will never know” Alexia is ever more determined to get a hold of you. Just as she was about to call you again, a message comes through.

Hi. Sorry I haven’t been around, it’s been a lot. Thank you for checking in on me Alexia, I promise you I’m ok. Good luck in your match tomorrow.

“She’s ok” Alexia tells Jenni as if the forward was the one who was worried about you.

The next day you wake up and are ridden with nerves. It’s not a familiar feeling and you know that you need to calm down before the game or things will end badly. 

Despite protests from your team mates, you will start the game on the bench. It’s the right decision and you make sure to tell Sarina just that. Whilst the team’s recent performances have been spotty to say the least, you refuse to walk back in like nothing had changed. You know you need to earn your place on the pitch with the lionesses.

Spain’s game has an early kick off and finishes just after yours starts. The team get back to the hotel and have organised to watch it the hotel bar. Much to Alexia’s dismay she is called for Media seen as though Spain won and have qualified for the Olympics. 

When she finally joins the team she knows that the first half is over but that’s it.

“What’s the score?” She asks anyone who is listening.

“2–0” Ona says.

“That’s—“ Alexia is cut off before she can finish her sentence.

“To Germany” Jenni knows that Alexia would have wanted England to win if for no other reason than you “Y/N is going on for Toone” 

She cannot help the smile that tugs at her lips as your number goes on the subs board. 

The world watches as Mary runs over to you and gives you the band.

“Welcome back skipper” Mary pushes the band up your arm before you can stop her because she know’s that is what you’ll do. She was there in the captain’s meeting when you told Sarina that you didn’t deserve the captaincy.

“Game on, Maz” 

It felt right being on the pitch and wearing the three lions crest. You allow yourself to take in your return but only for a couple of seconds before you turn your attention to the game and the challenge that you face. 3 goals was a lot to ask for when Germany are playing as good as they are. It wouldn’t be easy and it would take everything you had but you never shied away from a challenge and you wasn’t about to start now.

After about ten minutes you found your rhythm and England were playing the type of football they are known for. It doesn’t take long for LJ to make a run and dance around the opposition. You have faith in her but follow her anyways in case she loses the ball. She doesn’t but Frohms does save her shot, she doesn’t save your rebound though.

“Get the ball” You shout to the Chelsea player. 

When the match restarts, the lionesses are on the hunt. Shot after shot is taken but somehow the ball stays out the net. England get a corner in the 80 minute and you’re lurking on the edge of the box, ready to make your run. Popp is the one marking you because she has studied you new way of play since joining Barcelona. Chloe’s corner is pin point and no amount of research in the world could stop you from getting the second goal and tying the game.

Alexia finds herself up on her feet with Ona and a couple of your team mates when you get your brace.

“Vamos Y/N” she says.

“You do realise that we will face them if they win” Misa reminds her.

“Right now, I don’t care. She deserves this and I’m celebrating my team mate” Alexia didn’t care if she might face you in the final.

“She told you” Aitana whispers as she pulls her captain down to the sofa “That is why she doesn’t hate you anymore and why you’ve stopped interrogating her”

Alexia does nothing but nod. Her fellow midfielder didn’t need to know anything else and she doesn’t ask for it either. She accepts that the reason must be valid if Alexia has dropped her questions.

There are 4 minutes announced of stoppage time. 

When you look up the the score board and see the number you get flashbacks on the euros final. You have been in this position before and came out victorious. Today was going to be no different. 

It was huge mistake by Germany when Gwinn takes down Hemp about a meter outside the box.

In the past you have found yourself stood over the ball with Beth but this game it’s Alex who stands beside you.

With her hand over her mouth she gives you strict instructions.

“You’re taking it” 

It’s not a question and you don’t argue.

“You have saved us tonight, now get your hattrick”

The amount of faith Alex had in you did wonders but it didn’t settle every nerve running through your body. Free kicks were your specialty, this wasn’t nothing new and the pressure was a familiar feeling. 

As soon as you strike the ball you know it’s going in. It’s a hard feeling to describe but many call it shooters instinct, it had never been wrong and it wasn’t now. The ball floated over the wall and went in the further part of the top corner. The shot was unsaveable. You ran over to the bench, more specifically to Sarina, to celebrate with the woman who gave you space and welcomed you back with open arms. 

“It’s like you never left”

Her words caught you off guard. For a brief moment you agreed with her but you got hit by the feeling of grief, you looked towards the family section and there was no one supporting you. Maybe some things hadn’t changed but a lot certainly has. When the full time whistle was blown your team mates ran towards you, all of the congratulating you on your performance and your first game back.

It was a weird kind of celebrations that night. The team was split, half wanted to celebrate getting through the final and the other half knew the job wasn’t done, they knew that the biggest task was yet to be faced. Spain had beaten them before and on the greatest stage, the UEFA national league final could either repeat history and England could rewrite it.

The team travelled to Madrid that night, only hours after the game. Upon arrival almost everyone went to their rooms but not you. You knew sleep wouldn’t come easy so you decided to wander the streets of Madrid. It had become a habit of yours, you would walk around and people watch. Every human had their own story to tell and it made you forget about yours.

You had no destination planned yet you found yourself stopping outside a hotel, the one you know from your text messages with Alexia, was the one the Spain team was staying at. 

A lot of feelings were running through you and you saw this as the universe’s sign that maybe you should talk about them. You have confided in Alexia since Sarina first reached out to you, she knew more than anyone how you really felt about returning and you talked about this very moment, the hours after your first game when the past is very much present in your mind. You remember the words she told you ‘when that happens you call me’ so that is what you do or at least that is what you go to do.

“Y/N” you hear a familiar voice say. You turn to see Jenni, Irene, Laia and Misa walking towards you.

“Hi guys” your voice is quiet, shy almost and you cannot help the way your eyes scan for Alexia knowing full well that these are the people she spends the most time with.

“What are you doing here?” Misa asks you. The two of you hadn’t formally been introduced but you had scored a brace against her in the El Classico.

“I’m—“ 

“Here for Alexia” Jenni says with a knowing look and you cannot help but feel like she knows something you don’t.

You can only nod. Apart from Irene, you didn’t know these girls very well and the version of yourself that you show to strangers is very different to the one that your friends see.

‘I can take you to her. We are roommates” Jenni seems sincere with her words but you feel a pang of jealousy. Everybody knew that the two of them used to date, it shouldn’t bother you, you had no right to be jealous yet that is exactly what you were feeling.

You think about it and Jenni can tell you are thinking about it.

“She hasn’t stopped talking about you and I know she will want to see you. She was your biggest fan when we watched the game” Jenni added hoping to create some sense of comfortability.

“She watched my game?” You asked in disbelief. You thought you had no one but maybe you did, maybe Alexia was the someone that was cheering you on but instead of the family area she was cheering you on from the hotel you were currently standing outside of.

“She did. I think she forgot she was Spanish for a minute” Irene says which causes you to laugh.

“I doubt that but I appreciate the support. You know I shouldn’t be talking to you, you guys are the enemy now” 

“Yet you came here for our captain, she will be your enemy too. Come on, I’ll take you to her. We wouldn’t want you to be spotted outside our hotel, just think of the optics” Jenni once again says.

“Ok” you nod your head a few times to solidify your answer.

The girls lead you through the hotel but only Jenni and Irene stay with you, Misa and Laia walk ahead. The longer you walk the more you begin wondering if this was a good idea. What if you are overstepping your boundaries. You had no right to be here and could easily be turned away at any point.

You enter the lounge area of the hotel which holds the majority of the Spanish national team yet your eyes search for only one. She see’s you before you see her and is walking over to you with a worried look on her face.

“Estas bien? What are you doing here?” Alexia’s arm rests on your shoulder.

“It was an accident. I was out for a walk and I ended up here” you explained.

“She was asking for you” Jenni says even though technically it wasn’t true. In her eyes she wanted to play matchmaker after it was made evidently clear that Alexia was hesitant to peruse things with you even though she had feelings for you.

“Is this true?” Alexia asks and you nod.

“We won, I returned, I scored, wore the armband and I didn’t have anyone is stands” you whispered so only she could hear you.

The look in your eyes changed. For the first time that night you showed your true emotions. Alexia didn’t need to hear anything else. She grabbed your hand and escorted you to the outdoor seating area. She sat down whilst your paced the patio.

“Y/N, come sit down” Alexia pats the seat next to her and you comply “Are you ok, really? What made you come here to me?”

“I’m not ok but I’m more ok than I thought I would be. It’s been quite a day, that game was —“

“Incredible. You changed the entire play” 

“It felt right. I belong on the pitch with the girls, I should never have left” You didn’t register that you felt guilty about your absence until you said the words out loud to Alexia.

“You needed to. You had to process your loss and you returned when you were ready”

Alexia was very understanding, you had to give her that. 

“That answers my first question but the second” the Catalonian didn’t want to push but there had to be a reason and until she heard the truth she was filled with worry. You had been walking the streets of Madrid, alone, at almost midnight.

“Why am I here?” You repeated it. Maybe you hoped that hearing the question again would help you figure out an answer, it did “I wanted to celebrate…….with you. I was surrounded by my team, people I consider family yet you were the one I wanted to call and tell about the game”

You dipped your head when you felt yourself getting emotional. You were suppose to be happy but with everything you were feeling you were overwhelmed. On top of what you were feeling you couldn’t ignore the way your heart beat twice as fast because Alexia was sat opposite you with her hand now resting on your thigh. 

When you looked up Alexia noticed the the tears in your eyes and was quick to wipe away one when it fell.

“I shouldn’t be feeling this way Alexia, it is wrong” you met her eye as you made your version of a confession.

“You can be happy about playing football again Y/N. Natalia would have wanted you to be”

“Don’t say her name, not now” you shook your head and Alexia’s hand fell back to its prior place on your thigh.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep. I can give you space if that what you need” the blonde stands, ready to leave you be but you grab her hand and pull her back down.

“I don’t want space and that is the problem. I wasn’t talking about the game Alexia. I shouldn’t be feeling this way about you” you shook your head in disbelief. You were sure that your shot of happiness died with your wife but you have developed feelings for Alexia and could no longer deny it.

“Y/N” Alexia cupped your face so that you would look at her but when you did, her hand didn’t move.

“Ale” you melted into her touch. That very touch gave you butterflies and you enjoyed the act of intimacy.

The two of you went silent but each of your thoughts were very loud. Alexia glanced at your lips, you knew what she was about to do and you didn’t stop her. Maybe you should have, maybe you should have pulled away but you didn’t. You didn’t move when her lips hovered centimetres from your own, you let her kiss you. You froze in the moment, like a deer in headlights. It was only when you closed your eyes did you realise what was happening. The kiss felt like you were cheating, it felt wrong yet felt so right.

“You shouldn’t have done that. We can’t do this. It was wrong” you pushed Alexia away and stood up hastily.

You stormed away before Alexia had the chance to speak. All eyes were on you as you walked through the sea of Spanish players. Their eyes went from you and then to Alexia who was running through, trying to catch up to you. She was hot on your heels until you turned to face her. She waited a couple of seconds before taking steps towards you.

“Stop” you say but she doesn’t “No!” you held you arm out to further imply your seriousness.

After that she can do nothing else but watch you walk away from her. Her hazel eyes stayed on you until you were out the lobby doors and onto the streets of the Spanish capital.

Alexia was frozen in place. She has ruined everything by rushing but she felt something when she touched you, she felt a spark and that wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t feel the same thing she did. You told her that had feelings for her, you came all this way to see her. Those things meant something but maybe she had read it wrong, maybe it had all been in her head.

“Alexia, are you ok? You’re crying” Irene appeared in front of her. The woman in question was quick to wipe her eyes in hope that no one else would see her tears.

“I’m fine. It’s getting late, everyone should go to their rooms. We have a final to prepare for and we need to be at our best” Alexia walked away.

The two of you were very quiet in the upcoming days and were laser focused on the task at hand. Beat the opposing team and being the first even UEFA Nations League champions. Both of your team mates could tell something was wrong but they didn’t know what to do. Your team mates wasn’t aware of your late night adventures until Aitana texted Keira to ask if you were ok and told her that Alexia wasn’t after you showed up at their hotel. The English midfielder kept this to herself given that Lucy has only just got started talking to Alexia and there were a few players on the team who’s protectiveness could rival the defenders.

By the time the day of the final came around there was plenty of reason for concern but both teams knew that this is what you had been working towards. Yes, a trophy was on the line but it was the previous trophy that was the topic of conversation. 

The first time Alexia saw you was when they arrived for the pitch inspection. You were near the goal with LJ, it has become a new pre match routine for the two of you. Well you did it the game a couple of days ago and you won that so the two of you gravitated towards the goal today. 

Alexia wanted to go to you and that is what she was going to do until she felt a hand grab her wrist.

“Alexia” 

She turned to face Keira.

“Leave her be”

“I didn’t mean to upset her. We were talking about feelings and then I kissed her, I couldn’t help it. It felt right in the moment” Alexia couldn’t stop talking. It’s like was making a confession and Keira would be the one deciding whether or not it was a sin.

Meanwhile the English midfielder couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Sure she had suspected something was going on between the two of you but she also had a strong sense that you wasn’t ready for anything knew. In her eyes you were still healing.

“You kissed her?” Keira whispered as not to bring attention to their conversation.

Alexia was about to explain further but Keira stopped her as she sure her other team mate coming towards them.

“Lucy is coming. I will talk to you about this later” 

It was as if Keira flipped a switch. Her look of concern was replaced with a smile and she even put on a fake laugh so Lucy wouldn’t arrive to an awkward silence. Soon enough it was a gathering of Barcelona players yet Alexia could stay focused on what her friends were saying for you were beginning to walk towards her.

In your eyes you wanted to talk to Alexia and you knew you needed to. The other night was a lot for you to process but you did owe her an explanation for leaving, that much you did know. She looked good as you watched her enter the pitch. You let your eyes linger in the most discreet way possible. 

“You and Putellas?” LJ asked you. She wasn’t aware of what happened, nor did she know you were married. In her eyes, you were hiding something and she wasn’t wrong.

“We are friends…..I think. It’s complicated” you admitted knowing that Lauren wouldn’t push you further.

“Uncomplicate it” she suggested.

“If only it was that easy. Let’s head in and get ready”

You felt the change in heartbeat again as you got closer to where Alexia was standing. Your head might have been all over the place but you heart was being very clear in what it wanted only you weren’t ready to admit it.

“Y/N” Alexia shouted to you as you walked past her.

“Hi” for whatever reason, you pulled her into a hug “Good luck today, you’re going to need it” 

You both started laughing at the quick change of energy.

“I don’t think it’s us that need luck. We beat you in the summer” Alexia was cocky but she wasn’t confident.

“You didn’t beat me though” you couldn’t help but smile at her.

Your smile was genuine and that is something Alexia took great hope in seeing. Maybe you weren’t mad at her, maybe you just needed a little space.

What you said next doubled that hope.

“Come find me after the game”

Then just as quick as the hope was there, it wasn’t.

“We need to talk”

Those 4 words struck fear in Alexia but she didn’t have the chance to say anything because you were already down the tunnel by the time she came to her senses.

Your was brought up several times in the Spanish locker room and each time all eyes fell to Alexia for she is the one that knew you most. She had learnt how you think, what plays you are going to make before you make them. In her team’s eyes she knew how to stop you. Only it wasn’t that easy. Alexia did knew how you play but that style changes when you are hungry, like you have a point to prove and this game brought both of those things.

“Stop focusing on Y/N! If you focus on how to stop her then you’ve already lost. Focus on stopping her from getting the ball” That is the last thing she said before heading out into the tunnel. 

The lionesses were waiting for her, she expected it. It was an intimidation tactic. You weren’t there and that was a surprise, she would have bet good money that you would be in the starting 11. Mary stood opposite her and smirked when she saw the look of bewilderment on the opposing players face. 

Alexia wanted to say something, she kept looking back at the team. If she was paying attention she would notice that there was only 10 players on the England side of the tunnel. With her eyes now facing forward she didn’t see you walking towards the front of the line. The sound of your cleats fell on deaf ears.

Her head shot to the side when she caught a glimpse of you standing next to her with the pendent in your hand.

“Capital Y/L/N, nice to see you back where you belong” Alexia covered her mouth, her being well aware that there were cameras on her.

You shake your head at her greeting.

“Captain Putellas. You’re going to wish I wasn’t” you had one last attempt to get in her head.

“No I won’t. Win or lose today, this is something the world, myself included, has been waiting for” 

You thought you would get a smart remark not a reply that was genuine.

“Alexia” 

“Y/N” 

Those were the last words spoken except from a good look after the coin toss.

You called a huddle before everyone got into place. This game was important, not only because of the trophy on the line but it was the lionesses chance at redemption. To prove that it was only one game.

“I want you all to do something for me. Play for right now, not for the past. You cannot change what happened in the summer, no matter how hard you try. Winning today won’t get you the star on the shirt but it can be the reset you guys have been wanting. That loss has been haunting you, I can see it by the look on your faces and I promise you here today that if you play with revenge in your hearts then you will fail. Yes, this is Spain but we are England. We don’t stay down, we get up and fight. We stand together as a team, a pride. We go out there and leave everything on the pitch” 

Each player is hooked on every word as you give Mary the signal. 

“England on three” 

You all come together one more time before getting in position.

Alexia tries to do the same by most of the team is watching you.

“She is going to make it hard” Olga tells her captain.

“She is going to make our lives hell for the next 90 minutes but that’s not to say we can’t give it back. Look at that star on your shirt, we got that by beating this team. Yes, Y/N wasn’t playing but she is one player. As good as she may be, we are better. You’ve seen what everyone is saying, they are calling our World Cup win a fluke, that we didn’t win but England lost. We may have qualified for the Olympics but our job is not done. We have a trophy to win. Vamos Espana” 

Just like England did, Spain come together before readying themselves for the game.

The game which starts in the worst possible way for the away team. It seems the your players might be a bit more nervous that they are letting on. Inside the first 15 minutes Salma gets through on goal and sends Spain up 1-0. It wasn’t ideal but it didn’t mean the game was over either. You were playing safe, as a way to get the most out of the team around you. When the first half is done with you haven’t take a single shot on goal. 

Spain entered the tunnel happy and England entered it less so.

The atmosphere was eerie in the locker room and you could see the self doubt radiating off your team mates.

Sarina takes the floor and explains all sorts of strategies but nobody is listening. They are in their own head.

“Do you mind?” You walk up to Sarina hoping to have a talk with your team. The coach happily steps aside.

“How many of you are thinking about the World Cup? Raise your hand” nobody does and you decide to call bullshit “You’re lying and I won’t have that. You are telling me none of you are out there thinking of the summer? the picture of them lifting the trophy that should have been yours?” 

One by one players begin lifting their hands.

“I can stand here and say I haven’t been good enough. I need to be better and I will be better. In 45 minutes we will be crowned champions. The question is are we going to do it in style or are we going to make it harder for ourselves? We know what we need to do and we will do it” 

You leave the locker room and go back out onto the pitch. You are the first one out there and you take a minute to look at the score board. 1-0. You hated to lose but more than that, you hated to let people down. You made the decision to come back and you didn’t do that to come second.  You returned to be a champion and to make Natalia proud, you wasn’t doing to let her down. You had spent the past couple of days trying not to think about her and maybe that was the problem. She was your greatest strength, your biggest supporter and she may be no longer with you, you may be beginning to move on but that doesn’t mean you have to forget about her. No, you need to play for her just as you always did.

The first ten minutes of the second half it was like a different team was on the pitch. England were pushing and pressing and Spain were struggling. In the 67 minute was when the game was made even once again. You and hempo were tiring out the defence and it made them vulnerable. On one counter attack they couldn’t keep up. Irene was the only player standing between you and Cata but she could see Hempo running up beside you. She found herself in a lose lose situation so she stuck with you in hopes that the pressure would work, it didn’t. You pull her in just enough to give hempo enough space. At the last minute you passed to your left and she fired the ball into the back of the net.

Game on.

Spain were beginning to tire and the one touch football that was known around the world began to work in favour of England. They were unable to play out from the back because you, Alessia, Hempo and LJ was pressing the defence. It was mind play and it was working. 

It was during a corner where things got interesting.

“Keep going!” You clapped your hands to rally the team “we are in their heads, now we end it” 

“You’re not in our heads” Alexia says as she chooses to mark you. It was a tactic they hadn’t done yet, so far Jenni had marked you.

“Just you saying that is proof that we are but feel free to prove me wrong” you had a minute to talk as the ref walk talking to Lucy and Irene.

“I will. Let’s make it interesting. You score right now and I’ll buy you a drink later”

“So that means I’ll be taking the trophy and your money? Oh you’re on” 

Alexia followed you are you walked around the box as you got into position. You would end up in one or two places; front post or in the middle. Never did she think you would make a run for the back post and swap positions will Lucy. The change caught Alexia out and when the ball hit the back of the neck she shook her head in defeat. 

She had played right into your hands. You had pulled her in with your words and left her hanging when you celebrated what would go on to be the winning goal of the game.

You had to take a moment when the game was over. Everyone was celebrating but you and Lucy made the effort to congratulate your club team mates of a game well played.

“Ay, Capi. You’re predictable you know that?” Lucy threw her arms around the Catalonian.

“Lucy!” You slapped her on the back of the head “What she meant to say is you guys played a good game and that we will see you in Paris”

“We’ll see them in Barcelona” Lucy tried to correct you.

“I mean on the pitch as opponents, idiot”  

Alexia was to focused on what the defender said first to hear the bickering that was now taking place between the two of you.

“What did she mean?” Alexia asked you.

Lucy gave you a look before leaving the two of you be.

“You once told me that in order to see yourself as the best, you had to beat the best. Tonight you wanted to beat me”

“No, I —“ 

“You did and that’s ok. I wanted to beat you too. It’s our competitive nature. That need you had allowed us a way in. I didn’t know it would come from a corner, only that in at least one part of the game you will stick to me just so you could say you got the upper hand”

“I should have dropped you off, let Irene pick you up and followed Lucy” Alexia understands the error she made.

“You should have but don’t beat yourself up about it. That wasn’t our first plan or second. Our plan was for Hempo to tire Ona out and for Lucy to get inside Olga’s head. Without those two things happening, we wouldn’t have got the corner in the way we did”

Alexia didn’t know whether to be pissed off or impressed that you read her and her team so well.

“You deserve the win today. Go celebrate with your team” 

“I will but remember you owe me a drink. I’ll text you the address of wherever we go. Invite the girls too”

Alexia watched you walk away but there was one more thing she wanted to tell you only she feared it would do more damage than good. In the end she bite the bullet and ran to you.

“Y/N” 

“Hi again” you laughed “Do you want another explanation of our strategy? We can always watch the game back when we in home in Barcelona” 

Home in Barcelona. There is something about the way you said it that made alexia feel warm and fuzzy inside.  She quickly shook her head to rid herself of those thoughts and the overthinking that came with them.

“I just want to say that Natalia would have been proud of you today. Not just today but the other game too. I know it’s not my place to say that because I didn’t know her but you should know that. You—“ Alexia began rambling.

“Breathe. Thank you for saying that. I know she is looking down on me right now with a huge smile on her face and truth is if I think about her too much then I think I might cry so I don’t want to go into that right now. Thank you though” 

Alexia couldn’t help but feel like she shouldn’t have said that.

The ceremony went by in the blind of an eye. One minute you are waiting for Spain to collect their medals, the next you are raising the trophy with Mary. Back in the locker room you find yourself staring at the medal on your neck. Never in your professional career had one stayed on your neck for this long and never has the gold felt so heavy. It felt like it was weighing you down so you take it off and stuff it into your back. You would talk about that means with your therapist if you had one. 

Later on in the night you found yourself at the hotel bar with the rest of the team celebrating. You tried your best to be happy and part of you truly was but you life off the field was becoming more complicated and hard to ignore.

“Excuse me” you tell the group that included Leah, Georgia, Keira and Lucy. 

“Should we be concerned?” Georgia asks.

“Yes but let her have a moment. These past ten days have been a lot for her” Lucy tells her friend.

They watched as you paced back and forth on the balcony. To the English it was warm outside but there was still a chill in the air and you weren’t wearing a jacket. Keira kept looking at her watch asking herself how long is long enough before she goes out to you. 

Some of the Spanish team arrive about an hour after the lionesses. Some of them go to the bar, some go to friend but Alexia, well she only had one interest and she couldn’t it or more specifically couldn’t find you. Her eyes scanned the room one, twice and third time. She had her phone out ready to call just as she sees you. 

Leah catches her walking towards you and wants to stop her.

“What is she doing” The blonde asks defensively “Y/N doesn’t want anything to do with her”

The Arsenal player has heard about you bust up when Keira visiting England over Christmas. 

“Things are different now but I’m not sure this is the right thing to do. Alexia!” Keira shouts her club captain over.

“Hola. Congratulations again. You guys sure know how to party” she tried to be polite even though she had no interest in a conversation with anyone who wasn’t you.

“Thank you” Leah seems genuine “Were you going to see Y/N?” 

Alexia nods.

“That might not be the best idea right now. I think she needs a minute to herself. It’s been quite the day for her”

“I know. That’s why I want to talk to her” Alexia knew that you might be been struggling but to her that was all the more reason for her to talk to you.

“She won’t even wear her medal” Georgia adds earning her a shove. As far as the English players are aware, Alexia didn’t know anything.

“That isn’t surprising. Every tournament until this one she has given her medal to Natalia” Alexia says as if it is the most obvious thing but your friends didn’t put two and two together.

“Wait” Lucy says “She told you about her?” Again, Alexia nods.

“When? She hasn’t talked about her since she passed” the defender added.

“After Christmas” Alexia explains but goes no further.

“That’s why she went to you the other night but then you—“

“Keira, I won’t talk about that right now. I just want make sure she is ok and I can’t do that if I am being interrogated by you” 

With that Alexia leaves your friends speechless and makes her way towards the balcony.

As quietly as possible, Alexia slides the door open and closes it behind her. She didn’t want to startle you so she watched from a distance. Your face wasn’t puffy so you hadn’t been crying but your posture was stiff so you were stressed.

“They’ve spent the past hour burning holes in the back of my head from their staring yet you have come straight out” you turn to see Alexia resting against the door. 

“I owe you a drink and —” 

“And yet your hands are empty” you point to Alexia’s hand which as you stated aren’t holding a drink “You can come closer you know. I’m not going to blow”

“I know it’s just that—“

“The last time we were along I ran away crying” you laugh as you think back to that night. Things were going really well until they wasn’t.

“Are you going to let me finish a sentence or are you going to keep talking for me?”

You mumble an apology and signal for her to continue.

“Your friends know I know and I accidentally told keira we kissed” 

“Figures. She has been hovering” 

The two of you go quiet. It’s not awkward, it’s comfortable but even then it’s not what either of you wanted.

“You said we needed to talk” Alexia didn’t want to push things and you had told her this before the game.

“We do. What happened the other night it—“

“Shouldn’t have happened”

“Who is finishing the other’s sentences now” 

“Lo siento”

“As I was saying” you send her smirk so she knows she isn’t in trouble “The other night was very overwhelming for me, not because I didn’t like what happened but because I did. I told you that I had feelings and those feelings are for you Alexia. You make me feel things that I thought I’d never feel again. I promised my heart and love to her Alexia and to feel these things for someone else is like an act of betrayal. It feels wrong but I don’t want those feelings to stop. You kissed me and I knew it was going to happen yet I didn’t to stop it. I shouldn’t have ran away like that”

“It was a lot for you, I understand that” Alexia tried to reassure you that it was ok.

“It was but I should have stayed. You wanted to talk to me and I didn’t give you the opportunity. Just because I lost someone doesn’t mean that it’s only my feelings that matter. I’m sorry Alexia” 

Alexia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Since you said the words ‘we need to talk’ she has been trying to think of all the things you could have said, an apology was not one of them.

“Can I say what I would have that night?” Alexia asks and you nods your head whilst closing the distance between you.

“Those feelings you talked about, I feel them too. Things changed between us after you told me and I couldn’t ignore it, trust me I tried. I was also aware of your loss and that this might not be something you are ready for so I talked to my mum one night. She is the only other person I know who has experienced the same loss you have. I told her that I had fallen for you and that I wanted to act on my feelings. You know what she told me? She told me that time heals all wounds but no amount of time is the same. If I wanted to prove to you that I truly liked you then I would need to take it slow so that is what I am willing to do. If you want to pursue this then we will take it slow, as slow as you need. You said it feels like an act of betrayal and I respect that. I won’t push you into anything you’re not ready for”

Alexia reached out for you and noticed once again tears were falling down your face.

“I have made you cry again. I shouldn’t have said anything. Y/N I am so sorry”

“Alexia, these aren’t sad tears” you reach for her hand  “I can’t promise you that this will be easy. When Natalia died she took a lot of my heart with her and I don’t know how much is left but I want to share what I have left with you. Please be patient with me Alexia because I don’t know how to do this again. For most of my life it has been her and I but now I get the chance at happiness again, with you. We can take this slow?”

“We will go as slow are you want. I have nothing but time for you Y/N”

Alexia knew what to say and for the first time in a long time you found yourself leaning forward. Just as you were about to kiss her she moves and kisses your cheek.

“Slowly Y/N” Alexia winked causing you to chuckle “How about we go for dinner when we return to Barcelona?“

“I would really like that”

“Me too. Now if I remember correctly I owe you a drink” Alexia holds the door open so that you both can rejoin the party.

“That does seem to be the case. Make it a double. It’s not every day you pull one over on La Reina to score the winning goal” you shoved her playfully.

[sordezos]

Food Poisoning

Warnings: Vomit, Sick, Hospitals Note: anything in italics is said in Spanish. Request.

“She’s sick right?” Mapi asked only a few minutes into the bus trip, you were sat next to Alexia, you were holding hands with her, having reached out for her hand as soon as she sat next to you, Mapi was sitting opposite to you both, you sitting with Alexia was something that never happened, it had only happened once or twice, everyone knew something was wrong. Alexia just nods, “Wonder if it's the same thing as Ingrid, she isn’t playing today, was up all night.” “Oh, I told her she shouldn’t be playing but she is determined she is fine, we’ll see how that goes.”

_____

You were sweating bullets, your head spun and your stomach churned, you shouldn’t have played, you should’ve listened to Alexia but of course you being your stubborn self didn’t, Alexia mouthed something at you, there was a free kick, presumably she wanted you to take it, but you couldn’t you were about to throw up, you walked, well more like stumbled your way over to the side lines, leaning over and spilling your guts out, before wiping your mouth with your jersey and continuing down into the locker room, knowing you couldn't keep playing like this, well more that no one would let you play like this.

You stumbled your way into the locker room, slumping back in your locker, you brought your knees up to your chest, in hopes to ease your stomach, a tear rolled down your cheek, you really wanted Alexia right now but you knew she would be mad. She probably wouldn't be allowed to be subbed off anyway but you knew she wouldn't want to even if she could because this was your fault after all and you should’ve listened to her when she told you not to play. However Alexia could never stay mad at you, especially when you were this sick. You didn't bother to look up when the locker room door opened just a few minutes later, thinking it was just one of the medics or something, but when the figure sat next to you held a familiar scent you relaxed it was alexia.

“Arms up,” you put your arms up and she quickly pulled your jersey off, before she slid you onto her lap, you were still curled up but relaxed into her and her arms wrapped around you. Her jersey was slightly damp from sweat and you were slightly sticky from sweat but neither of you minded and you quickly fell asleep in her arms.

“Bebita,” Alexia said softly in your ear, causing you to stir, “the medics gave me a hot water bottle, to help your stomach, if you want” you nod and she hands it to you, you place it on your stomach, your legs keeping it in place. You’re hit with a round of stomach cramps and wince, trying to curl into a tighter ball, and you can't help but let a tear roll down your cheek, Alexia quickly wipes it away.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve listened,” you whimpered, “Shh Bebita, it's okay, we can talk about that later, what is important is that you feel better. Take some deep breaths,” you did as she directed, however the deep breaths did nothing and you soon found yourself hunched over the toilet, as more of your stomach contents came up.

_____

You were sitting on the bus, it was just Alexia and you in your section, everyone wanting to give you space. Lucy and Mapi were sitting in the set of four next to you, both looking after Ona and Ingrid who had also started to feel sick again.

“Ale,” “Sì” “My stomach hurts,” you said as you wrapped your arms around your stomach, trying to suppress the camps that were occurring in it. 

“It’s-” Alexia was distracted by the sound of Ona crying, she looked over to see what was happening on that side of the bus, Ona was curled into a ball leaning into Lucy’s side as she cried.

“I told Ona & Ingrid the seafood tasted weird, they just told me I wasn’t used to Spanish seafood yet.” “So you two did this, Ingrid you’re a good cook, how did you let Ona under cook the seafood? Look at Y/N now she is badly sick.” Alexia sternly but softly told them off, if anything it was always more scary when Alexia was “mad nice” than when she was yelling. Everyone knew out of the three of you, you were by far the most sick, having seen you along with every other individual in the stadium, spill your guts out on the side of the pitch, and then also in the locker room. What they didn't know was that it was going to get worse. Alexia gently pulled you back into her side, rubbing her hand up and down your arm, and you drifted off to sleep, much to everyone's relief.

You woke up, and noticed you were now slightly shaking, your head was pounding and your stomach was flipping, you felt really really sick, tears started rolling down your cheeks as you couldn’t suppress how you were feeling. “A-Ale,” “It’s okay Bebita, I’m here,” she said as she handed you a sick back, which you clutched onto with all the strength you had left. However the longer this feeling went on the weaker your grip on the bag was. Which is why you were glad when Alexia moved the sick bag she was holding up near your mouth as she saw the last bit of colour drain from your face and you started to once again lose your stomach contents. Tears were still rolling down your cheeks as you practically collapsed back into Alexia, she wiped your mouth before closing the sick back and placing it in the bin you had been given, she looked over to Lucy who nodded and stood up, moving away from Ona, Alexia stood up and Lucy quickly replaced her, you just lent into Lucy’s side, Alexia moved further back in the bus to make a call, everyone knew who she would be calling, and why she would be calling them.

Alexia just shook her head as she walked back over, which caused Lucy to let out a heavy sigh as she slid into the window seat placing you in her lap, Alexia sitting next to the two of you. You had curled up in Lucy’s lap and had fallen asleep, that was until you woke up to another round of stomach cramps, you sipped on some water as directed by the older women, who were trying to keep you hydrated, but you immediately vomited the fluid up, before yet again collapsing back into one of the older women, and falling asleep.

_____

You stiffened, you were going to be sick, you knew it and Alexia knew it, she grabbed the bucket she had placed beside the bed and placed it in front of you.

“No I don't want to” you pouted as you shoved the bucket away.

“I know, but I think you are going to need it” Alexia sighed as she placed the bucket back in front of you, you dry heaved leaning over the bucket, “It’s okay, I’ve got you,” your breaths became heavy as you tried with every fibre in your body not to throw up.

“’m sorry” you whimpered “Shh it's okay, I’m here” you gagged, but again nothing came up, your stomach was convulsing and you knew the one thing that would make you feel better but it wasn’t happening.

“I don't like this,” you painfully said.

“I know, I know but you’ll feel better after” Alexia reassured you as her hand continued to rub your back, “It’s okay, I’ve got you,” she said as you brought up what was left from your stomach. “Will you be okay for a second by yourself? I just need to go to the toilet,” you slightly moved your head down and then back up, a move that made you feel like you had run a marathon but you actually hadn’t.

Alexia stepped into the bathroom, she didn't actually have to use the toilet, she needed to take you to the hospital, she needed help though and she could trust Mapi, she called Mapi who answered almost straight away, it wasn't actually that late, you were just in bed as you were so sick. “Mapi,” “Ale? What’s wrong?” Mapi said, hearing the concern in her best friend's voice, “it’s y/n, she is sick like really sick, I need you to take us to the hospital, please,” Mapi could hear the desperation in her captain's voice, and it was safe to say she was worried. “We will be there soon, I promise. Ale, it’s okay, she is going to be okay.” 

Mapi was right, after a day in the hospital receiving fluids and treatment, and a few days back at home constantly under someone's watchful eye you returned back to full health.

[sordezos]

Header

Hi guys!

This is a request I had some days (or weeks?) ago. I hope it would please the sweet anon who asked for it :)

Enjoy!

TW : Concussion, blood, injury, fainting.

_____________________________________________________________

Since the beginning of the day, something seems of when you look at your girlfriend. She seems worried, not at ease and is excessively clingy with you. Not that you don’t like it, but Lia always have said that you should be careful about your relationship. She doesn’t exactly want to be secret, but she wants people to concentrate on her play and not on her relationship. Which you can understand, her breakup with Caitlin Foord looked like it involved a lot of other people. The fans, actually.

You choose not to come together this afternoon for the game, you’re playing in the Arsenal’s stadium, so you have to come with your cars. You asked Alessia to pick you up and Lia is supposed to get you home. Because of the traffic jam Alessia and you are a little late. You are surprised to see you girlfriend almost jumping on you when you arrive, grabbing you by the sleeve of your jacket.

“Where the hell have you been?! I was worried sick!”

You look at her with incredulity written on your face. Where is your girlfriend, always calm, posed, thoughtful and rational?

“We had a lot of traffic on the road, but everything’s fine. Are you ok?”

She doesn’t answer, grabbing you by the hand this time, to get you to the changing room. You question Leah with a look, but the blonde only shrugs her shoulders. You take Alessia with you with your free hand, dragging her with you.

You are not even late when you get on the pitch, starting the training after hearing some of tactical adjustments from Jonas. Lia, sitting next to you, doesn’t seem to be able to stay still. And she is very nervous during the drill too, making you wonder what the hell is happening to her.

You take her around a corner before going to change for the game, far away from the other’s ears.

“Lia what’s happening? You are acting weird since this morning.”

“Nothing” Lia sighs, looking around her.

Everywhere but you. You cup her cheek with your hand, attending to have a real exchange of look with her. You know that when you look at her in her eyes, she can’t lie.

“Lia” you say with a soothing voice. “Talk to me Baby, please.”

She sights and rub her face, still leaning against your touch anyway.

“You are going to think that I’m stupid.”

“Not even in your wildest dream.”

This time your girlfriend rolls her eyes and smile lightly, making you smirk in return. You know that if it’s affecting Lia like this, this isn’t nothing.

“I just have that feeling that something bad will happen. I had it when Leah did her ACL and it’s back.”

The Swiss woman already talked to you about the feeling she had that day, almost seeming to say that it was her fault if something like that happened to Leah. You trust her, obviously. But your job is to reassure her too.

“It’s going to be ok Babe, I swear. I won’t let anyone take you down.”

Next to Katie and Leah for today, you are a defender. And for you, your job is to not let the other team come near your goalkeeper, but not to touch any of your teammates too. The fans call you The Bodyguard, and it’s not for your passion for the song « I will always love you ». You are higher than Lia but you aren’t really high either. You don’t seem to be big too, but your muscles allow you to stay with your feet firmly on the ground against almost every charge.

You offer a hug at Lia, who cuddle against you. She doesn’t exactly worry about herself, more about one of your friends. But she tries to convince herself what you said. It’s going to be alright.

During the game, you see your girlfriend flinch every time that one of your teammates is on the ground. Liverpool isn’t playing dirty, there are some faults of course, but it’s a great game. At halftime, it’s 2-0 for Arsenal.

But when you are back in your cubby, your girlfriend always seems to the point of fainting from stress. You decide to abandon Lotte and her cubby next to yours to go sit next to Lia in her cubby. You propose her half of your banana, which she take with a small smile. Looking around to be sure that no one is looking at you, you kiss her cheek.

“Breath Babe. Everything is fine, see? We are winning and no one is hurt.”

Lia nod and take your arm against her, trapping it between her two. You let her, smiling when she put her head on it. When it’s time to get back, you kiss her hair and follow her peacefully.

You should have listened to her though. Because it’s not her, it’s not one of your teammates that get hurt at the end of the game.

It’s you.

Around the 80 minutes, you are running on the box to try to take a ball from Caitlin. She sends it and at the same time as you, another player from the other team is jumping. Your heads collided. Hard. You were running from all your speed, so is your opponent. The first shock almost knocks you out immediately, but the way you fall on the ground with all your weight, head first, it’s the one thing too many.

You fall out, not reacting at first when Caitlin run to you, making you roll to your side. Jonas is screaming to the medic to “get your ass on the pitch right now”. When they arrive at your side, Alessia and Katie are here too. But Lia is frozen at the other side of the pitch, unable to make a move.

After some hesitation and realizing that the medical team shushed away almost everyone from you, Leah decides to take care of Lia. There is only Katie left next to you, maybe because she’s your best friend. Some feet from away you, Alessia and Caitlin are shaking and Lia knows right away that this is bad.

“Lia” Leah calls her.

The Swiss woman looks at her friend, who doesn’t know what to say. The blonde just takes Lia’s hand, training her slowly in the direction of the bench, where your other teammates are. But when she realizes where she’s going, Lia stop dead in her track.

“I want to see her” Lia mumbles.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea...”

Alessia, who were not far from them give a look at Leah. She shakes her head at Leah behind Lia’s back and the blonde understand quickly. But Lia sees that Leah is looking at someone and Alessia can’t stay quiet when she sees your girlfriend’s face.

“I think it’s better that you stay here for some seconds. There is blood and…”

And suddenly there is more movement next to you and they can see Katie standing up. Her hands are red with your blood and Lia starts walking without really realizing it. She ignores Leah calling her, she just wants to see you.

“Lia, stop, Sweetheart” Katie says softly when she saw your girlfriend’s coming.

“I want to see her” Lia mumbles, looking at Katie.

“I know. Just wait some seconds, ok? Believe me, please. She’s breathing but passed out, they want to clean her wound. And she kind of… Throw up. They say it’s because of the shock.”

A little far from you, the other injured player is standing but have a bag of ice against her head. But she’s up, unlike you. Lia watches Katie washes her hand and let a sob out before talking.

“I knew something bad would happen, I told her. It can’t be happening again.”

“Lia stop, it’s not your fault.”

But before she can explain why it actually is, the medical team is moving you off the pitch. They put you on a stretcher and Lia could now have a full look on you. You’re still off, a massive bandage around your head and some blood is still on your face.

“I’m going with her” Lia informs Jonas.

The man is a little surprised, usually Lia is the one of all her player who will listen to him without a second thought. But right now, he saw the despair on Lia’s face and know right away that he can ask her to finish the game.

“We’ll bring you your stuff” Leah says.

Kyra gives Lia her jacket to keep her warm and with that the Swiss woman is following you until you are in the ambulance. They put you on monitor and gave a call to the hospital to say that you are coming. You’re still not up and they want to make some tests to know and understand why.

At the hospital, a sweet nurse takes Lia in the waiting room, offering her a coffee. Lia takes it, but when Katie, Leah and Caitlin are here, her cup is still full. Katie put your bags next to Lia on the ground and Leah sits next to Lia, kissing her head. Caitlin looks unsure about what to do though. She came because she wanted to be there for Katie and for Lia too, but with their past, she doesn’t know if Lia wants her here.

They exchanged a look though and Lia just nod in direction of a free chair next to Katie. With a small smile, Caitlin sits next to Katie, taking her hand is hers.

“What did they say?” Leah asks.

“Almost nothing. They are making tests and x-ray to see how her injury is. She didn’t wake up, Lee.”

Lia doesn’t want to cry. She really doesn’t. But she can’t stop the tears from rolling on her cheeks. Big, hot tears. Feeling her heart breaking for her friend, Leah takes her against her and let Lia put her head on her shoulder.

“It’s going to be ok” Leah mumbles.

Some time pass, hours actually, and Lia almost fall asleep on Leah’s shoulder from exhaustion. But she jumps every time, trying not to. Even if the three other girls told them that they will wake her up. Lia rings your parents instead, even if she doesn’t have anything good to say to them.

“Family of Y/N Y/L/N?”

“It’s me. I mean it’s us”

Lia jumps on her legs and almost run to the doctor. He looks at the four girls with an arched brow.

“Are you all her family?”

“This is her girlfriend” Katie answers almost aggressively.

Caitlin takes discreetly her hand in hers, trying to calm her girlfriend. The doctor sighs but add nothing, looking back at his papers.

“So, we made some test to understand her injury better. She doesn’t have anything broken or blood inside, but she has a massive concussion. We don’t know when she will wake up and she will obviously staying here all the time she needs to wake up. Maybe she will have some repercussions, but we can’t say anything right now.”

“What do you mean, repercussions?”

Leah asks for Lia, who seems very close to a nervous break down.

“Loss of memory, attention disorders, chronic headaches, nausea” he starts to list with a disinterested air. “Language and visualization in space disorders, change of behavior, character... Well, you know. All that. I have to go I’m sorry, ask the nurse if you need anything”

It’s with a defeat face that Lia turns herself in the direction of her friends. They all look stunned, but no one know what to say.

“How am I supposed to tell that to her parents?” Lia whispers before realizing something else. “He didn’t even say if we can see her!”

“Let me see if I can find someone.”

Caitlin left to find a nurse and when she comes back almost five minutes later, the three others are in the same disposition.

“I will take you to Y/N, ok Love?”

It’s the same nurse that gave Lia some coffee before, and the Swiss woman just nod, following her in the floors of the hospital. They don’t say anything before being in front of your room.

“Four is a little too much but for now I will let you in. But please, be quiet, ok?”

They all nod, before going in and Lia can’t stop some tears from falling. You seem so small in this bed with all the monitors around you. They change your bandage so it’s not bloody anymore. But you have a black eye and the cocky smile you usually have on your face is gone.

Lia lets herself fall on the chair who is the closest from you, taking her head in her hands.

“The doctor said that she will have like trouble of memories and language when she will wake up” Katie says to the nurse.

She frowns at her, before rolling her eyes.

“Those are some possibilities, but they are very rare and it usually happens when the concussion isn’t healed fast. Y/N had professional who were here for her immediately, the risks are very small. They exist, that’s for sur. But don’t think about it now.”

The nurse’s statements allow Lia to breathe a little better. Her muscles remain very tense when Leah puts a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Lia gets closer to you while the other three are busy warning the people you are closest to, while the nurse (Lydia, like her tag says) left the room after asking them not to stay to long at four people.

“Hey Love” Lia whispers, her chin on the mattress next to your face. “It’s me. I know you are hurt and I’m really sorry. Take the time you need to get better, but please, please, come back to me.”

********

It was hard for your friends to make Lia leaves you, even for some hours and even if someone else is here to have a look on you. She’s terrified that something could happened to you while she’s not here. Or that you wake up all alone in your room. They managed to take her at least once a day off anyway, so that she can take a shower and change her clothes.

Lia is currently sitting on the same chair, making some Sudoku she stole from Leah, when she hears you mumble something. She almost falls of her chair in her precipitation to have a look at you. You already moved a little this morning, but you were still deep asleep.

“Love? Can you hear me?” Lia whispers.

It takes you all your strength to open your eyes, the intensity of the light immediately making your head hurt.

“Lia?”

After that there are some noises and movements around you. Lia called the nurses, and your mother came back running in the room. But Lia never left your hand, and this is what helps you to stay focus.

After Lia helped you to drink some water, the doctor comes to you with his flashlight to look at your eyes. The light makes you groan in pain and Lia mumble something in Swiss-German that the doctor should be happy not to understand.

“How are you feeling Y/N?” he asks you.

“Tired” you mumble hardly.

“Yes, that’s normal. You will be for some more days.”

He keeps talking but you can’t focus anymore. Squeezing very weakly Lia’s hand around yours, you fall asleep again.

Days are passing and you get better, but really slowly. The first days, you can barely open your eyes. You felt more than you saw Lia, your parents and Katie’s presence next to you. It seems like your girlfriend is always here when you open your eyes, looking way to worried for your taste.

With more days, you can stay awake a little bit longer, but you can’t have a big conversation. You listen and look lovingly at Lia, smile at Katie when she tells you real-life training stories through exaggerated gestures and you let your mother washing your hair when they change your bandage, something she probably never have done since you are two.

You did more tests too and the only problems you seem to have now, is a constant need to sleep and difficulty to keep focus. But Lydia told you that it would probably get better with time. The club made a statement about your case, and you let them handle that, trusting them with all your being.

********

“I have a good new, Y/N” sings Lydia when she comes to your room that day. “You can go home today.”

Lia smiles and you frowns. You don’t want to be something difficult to manage to Lia, you are not living together but you know that you will need someone to take care of you for some days.

“Isn’t it too soon?” your mother asks.

“I don’t think so. She has great results for the tests, get better every day and I’m sure that Lia here will take great care of her.”

She winks at you and Lia and you smirk when you see that Lia is blushing a little. Your mother can’t say anything against that, she knows perfectly how much you mean to Lia. And how much she means to you.

“I will come back with the fills to signs, the different prescriptions and everything you will need. Take your time to be ready, yeah?”

You nod and your mother takes her phone from her purse.

“I’m going to call your dad.”

It’s like the first time that you find yourself all alone with Lia. And you take advantage of that to ask her the question that is on your mind.

“Are you sure? It probably will be complicated and with the trainings and all…”

“I am sure, Y/N. Don’t worry, really. I will take great care of you, like Lydia says. We can go to your house if you want… Well, it would probably be better that way, you don’t have stairs like I do.”

You look at her rumble, your head against the cushion. You have your cocky smirk back and Lia realize it immediately of course.

“What?” she asks.

“Nothing. I’m just lucky to have you. And I love you.”

She gives you her shy, beautiful smile back and takes you very softly against her. Even if you only have a head injury, she looks sometimes like she thinks you have broken ribs or something. Which you don’t.

“I love you too.”

She kisses lovingly your forehead, and you tilt your head in your direction, pouting. It makes her roll her eyes but she complied, kissing your lips softly. After that, she put her forehead against yours, looking deep in your eyes.

“You don’t know how much I am relieved that you are ok. I don’t know what I would have done if…”

With a finger on her lips, you make her be silent. She already excuses herself the other day, affirming that your injury was because of her. Because of her feeling that day and you already told her that this is stupid.

“Lia, stop. I am fine and I will be even better thanks to you. Please stop thinking that way.”

You are still very weak to be honest and you will have to take a wheelchair to left the hospital. You slept the journey to go to your house and fall asleep again after taking a proper shower with Lia’s help.

But you will get better and eight weeks after your injury, you are back on the pitch, stronger than ever.

[sordezos]

🌙☀️ alexia fic request

reader gets (lightly) injured at training and alexia takes care of her ;)

(P.S. I loved take care!!)

Headache & Heartache || Alexia Putellas x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of vomiting & injury

Word count: 2.5k words

A/N: Hola lovelies, I'm feeling a bit under the weather but decided to put this out. Hope you enjoy :)

The drill was like any other, with you playing the role of a striker. Cata Coll was in goal for the opposing team, and had been doing an excellent job of stopping the vast majority of your own shots, as well as Caroline Graham Hansen. 

However, you had the feeling that that was soon to change. Your smaller team was down by a point, and you were determined to bring them level, especially with your girlfriend sat on the sideline 

Your chance to score came just a moment later, as Ingrid dispossessed Lucy Bronze and ran forward to pass it on to Patri. As Patri turned with the ball, she spotted Caro with her hand raised and quickly kicked the ball.

As the football sailed over the heads of the other team, Caro quickly picked it up. She tried to stride inward from the sideline, towards the goal, but had a determined Swedish woman in Fridolina Rolfö in her way. 

Caro darted to the side before kicking the ball over in your direction. The cross was hit well, and demanded you to try to run in and slide on the ground. You had one foot out to hit the football, and felt the ball connect with part of your boot.

You weren’t entirely aware of the fact that Cata had come out of her goal to try to collect the ball. As Cata stepped forward and you slid in, the two of you collided with a clashing of bodies. Your vision blackened briefly, and your limp body crumpled below Cata’s. 

Several of your teammates winced in sympathy, while others darted towards you. The medical team, who had been working on Aitana’s quad on the sideline, also made their way over to the two of you.

You, on the other hand, simply laid on the ground. As you reawakened, you were aware of an intense pain radiating from what seemed to be your eye, but may have been just below it. Your memory was weak at best, and you were trying to connect the dots as to what had happened. You’re not sure what collided with your face, but the tangling of limbs atop of your own suggested that it could have been anything from Cata’s elbow to her fist to her nose. 

You heard Cata groan as well, followed by a sharp huff of laughter from the other girl. Feeling a little bad, you gingerly moved the arm that wasn’t pinned down by half of the other girls’ body to pat at whatever you could reach. It was meant to be a motion of comfort, but could have also been a motion to grope the goalkeeper as you couldn’t actually see where she was– a fact which you were quite slow to realize. 

Thankfully, you felt the top of her head beneath the palm of your hand and patted gently.

“Cata?” Your voice came out in a pained moan, and Cata simply made a noise in return. “Estás bien?” 

“Sí, y tú?” Came Cata’s response, and you winced a little bit as she shifted on top of you. You were sure that you’d have several bruises to show for this collision within the hour.

“I feel like I ran into a brick wall!” You complained, attempting arduously to roll your eyes. The motion was too painful, however, and you briefly wondered about the damage that had been done. 

“Por supuesto. I am super strong.” Cata said, and you felt her attempt to flex her arm.

A small part of you was growing nervous, especially as someone’s head was beginning to obstruct your vision. You were joking around in an attempt to calm your nerves down, but you really wanted your girlfriend at that moment. You knew that you’d sustained some sort of head injury, if the way your head smarted was anything to go by. The sun was a little brighter, suddenly, causing the piercing pain in your head to compound ever more. 

Cata’s voice was almost too loud for you, and the world tilted and turned, which was part of the reason you didn’t dare move. You almost felt like you were going to vomit, and you didn’t like throwing up… at all. 

Thankfully, you could hear the others’ coming towards you and Cata. The crunches of their footsteps against the grassy field gave you a sense of comfort, no matter how small. 

Within another second, Alexia is leaned over you. Her lips were parted and she was panting, as if she’d run over to you. Her soft brown eyes were just a little bit worried, and a bit of her blonde hair had escaped her ponytail, trailing down her face. She had a little bit of a scowl on her face, one which you recognized as her Captain’s face.

You felt someone putting their hands on either side of your own face, the tips of their thumbs grazing against the space behind your jaw as their palms held your head in place. You couldn’t tell who it was, and when you tried to look, they restrained your movement with their hands. You felt the panic beginning to bubble again, and heard Ale speak up to distract you.

“Shhh, cariño. Do not move, it is okay.” Alexia’s accented voice spoke English in a calming manner, and you stopped trying to struggle against the hands which held you in place.

The face and presence of your girlfriend of a year was a welcomed one, further serving to calm you down. As she stooped down besides the Cata and yourself, she reached her hand out. It hovered over the skin beneath your eye, a sympathetic expression forming on your captains’ face as she made a small noise.

“Ouch. That does not look too good, guapa.” Alexia said, voice a little raspy from all the shouting she’d been doing throughout the training session. Her presence served to lighten you, and you were once again joking.

“My pretty face! Will it ever be the same, capitana?” You asked, and you saw the corners of Alexia’s lips turn upward. She could tell that you were trying to joke around and knew well enough that it was what you used to calm yourself down. She yearned to play into it, but her concern for you conquered all. 

“You will always be gorgeous, mi amor.” Your captain reassured you, and you could tell that she was trying to find the proper words to calm you. You blushed a little bit at her words, suddenly yearning to kiss her, although the hands on both sides of your head would probably have disapproved of the action. 

You were grateful as Ale’s hand moved from your face to grab gently at your hand. You squeezed her hand with your own, and felt her squeeze back. 

She maintained physical contact even as the medical team arrived by your side, and even as Cata was moved from atop of you. Then, you were moving and sitting up with a groan. 

Alexia had backed up to give the medical team the room that they needed to work on you, but her eyes watched you throughout the entire duration. Your intense collision with Cata had looked terrible, and Alexia couldn’t get the image of your bodies smacking against each other and the pained sound that had left your lips upon contact with the goalkeeper. 

Her eyes scanned you constantly, looking to see if you had, in fact, been seriously hurt. As the medical team asked you about your pain and examined your head, she made sure to pay attention to what you were saying.

Were you in any pain? Yes. 

Where was your pain? In your head, below your eye… a little bit of hesitation had you saying that the rest of your body felt like a big bruise. 

Alexia had clocked that you had a concussion from a mile away– there was no way you didn’t, with the way Cata’s gloves had collided with your face. She noticed the way that you were squinting against the light, and the way that the skin below your left eye continued to swell and darken as the minutes ticked by. 

Alexia noted down each reported pain and comment in her head, listing them down to pay attention to for later. She’d already decided that you would be coming home with her, wanting to have you close and to take care of you for the next few days. 

Despite the year that the two of you had been together, the two of you still had separate homes as you were living with Claudia and, essentially, Patri as she was always around. The two refused to let you move, despite Alexia having asked you upwards of four times. 

Each time you’d approached the topic with them, the two would guilt trip you into staying for another few weeks, claiming that they would miss you far too much… much to Alexia’s annoyance (and amusement).

-----

Two hours later found you hunkered down on Alexia’s couch, with your upper body laid back on your girlfriends’. The two of you were covered by a blanket, and Alexia had a small ice pack laid on your cheek, just below your eyes.

To minimize your discomfort, Alexia had set to using her large hands to massage at your head. Her fingers tangled in your hair, gentle in their ministrations against your sore skull. Her fingers were warm, and as they pushed against your skin you groaned in pleasure, causing Alexia’s smile to grow.

Your wonderful girlfriend had also made sure that her home was as dark as possible. She’d drawn the blinds on her windows and had made sure that all of the lights were off. As she’d sat back down on the couch where she’d left you, she’d been quick to pull your exhausted body against her own, which was how you’d found yourself here. 

Your eyes had closed against their own volition, and one of Alexia’s arms gently circled around your body. She rested her hand against your stomach and began to stroke against the fabric of her own sweatshirt, which she’d changed you into after you’d been forced into a shower.

You were surrounded by the scent and the comforting touch of your girlfriend, which was one of the best feelings you had ever experienced. Even as your head pain worsened, your girlfriend stayed by your side, and that was how you’d fallen asleep.

-----

You awoke some hours later, warm and comforted beneath the hands of your girlfriend. Alexia had allowed you to sleep on her, despite the fact that her legs had fallen asleep a little bit as you’d slept. She’d spent the time quietly scrolling through her phone and then reading a book, although her gaze would intermittently turn towards you.

She admired the way your pretty face had relaxed during your sleep, and the way your lips had opened slightly as puffs of air were inhaled and exhaled. As you awoke, you let out a little groan of pain, and Alexia quickly, and gently, hushed you.

One of her hands wandered from where it had rested around your waist to your head. She gently pushed a strand of hair from your face, her skin grazing your own ever so gently. Your eyelashes fluttered as you opened your eyes and squinted a little bit.

As you saw your girlfriend, however, your face molded into a smile.

“Hola, Ale.” You whispered, voice rough and raspy from sleep. 

“Hola, mi amor.” Alexia responded, eyes kind and comforting as she met your eyes. She was so gentle as her hand continued to smooth back your hair, the other hand that was on your stomach gently brushing against your skin as your sweatshirt had wandered up as you’d slept. “How do you feel?”

“... My head hurts.” You responded, hesitating as you mentally tried to figure out what hurt. Everything hurt, and there was a constant burning ache in your head. It felt as though someone had taken hold of your brain and thrown it against a wall… twice, for good measure.

“Would you like some medication, mi vida?” The pet name caused you to smile a little bit as well. However, Alexia probably could have called you a dead, decaying rat and still would have managed to make you swoon. 

“Por favor.” You responded, eyes fluttering closed. However, they jolted back open as Alexia gently moved out from beneath you and you groaned.

“Tengo que- I have to go get you some medicine, guapa. I will be back.” Alexia tried hard to keep the laughter out of her voice. She had to fight back the desire to snap a photo of the way you were curled up on your side, the sight entirely too adorable to not take a picture of. 

Then, she was walking away to go find the medicine which the medics had recommended. 

When she was back, she expected you to be asleep. She had thought that you were asleep, if the way your eyes were shut was anything to go by. However, as you heard her feet pad gently against the tiled floors, your eyes opened again, squinting up at your girlfriend. 

“Ale!” You whisper-cried, a grin forming on your face. “You’re back!” 

Alexia had to resist the urge to laugh once again. She had only been gone for a minute at the most, and yet it seemed like she’d been gone for months as you reached out a hand and caught onto her sweatshirt. You tugged Alexia towards you, and Alexia allowed you to.

In her hands were a few pills and a bottle of water. She handed you the pills, and as you plopped them into your mouth, she uncapped the bottle of water and handed that to you as well. When you were done, she took both items before stooping her head low to press a gentle kiss against your forehead.

She didn’t seem to be done, however, as she began to gently litter kisses against the rest of your face, paying extra attention to your cheeks.

“Ale! What are you doing?” You couldn’t help but giggle, the movements a little bit ticklish against your skin.

“Fixing you with love.” Alexia responded between gentle kisses. Finally, the girl pressed a feather-light kiss against the bruise beneath your eye. You smiled at her, and as your eyes met Alexia couldn’t resist pressing another kiss to you, this one against your lips.

“Te amo.” Alexia whispered as she broke the kiss, although her lips brushed against yours as she spoke.

“I love you.” You responded.

You spent the next few days in a haze of sleepiness and pain, but Alexia stayed by your side throughout the process. She delivered kisses when you needed them and cuddled you close into her side, making sure to help you with everything that you needed.

If you hadn’t already been in love, by the end of the week you were head over heels for Alexia all over again.

And when you returned back to practice, Alexia even turned a blind eye to you as you sought out revenge against Cata for her reckless little dive in goal by chucking a football at her back.

[sordezos]

Secret // Alexia Putellas

Everybody knew that Alexia was a private person - she only shared the information she wanted to share as she was very selective in her choice of words and very careful about whom she told what.

And even though that facade dropped around her friends and family, she still kept you a secret - she preferred it that way - having you to herself and not having to deal with headlines like 'Alexia Putellas dating her Barcelona teammate.' and the drama that it could cause.

Whenever it was just the two of you she was the sweetest girl, treating you like a princess and being totally in love with you while when other people were around, she kept her distance, acted strictly professional and didn‘t show any signs of affection.

The only person who knew about you was her sister, Alba and she only found out by accident.

-

"mi amor, you‘re so beautiful" the midfielder admired, kissing along your jaw, "I can‘t get enough of you" she found her way down to your neck, completely lost in the feeling of you before a certain spot on your neck caught her attention where she gently created reddish marks.

Just because nobody knew about you, didn’t mean that it would stop Alexia from silently claiming you.

Her fingertips ran along your exposed skin as your shirt had riddled up, leaving the midfielder craving for more.

The Barcelona player continued to mumble sweet nothings, planting some last even sweeter kisses on your neck before she reached up to your lips, kissing them with every ounce of love. Alexia always kissed you like that, letting you know that you caused the butterflies in her stomach.

Tugging on your shirt, she signaled that she wanted it off. Happily obeying, you took it off, her hands now wandering around your bare upper body as she was back kissing you with so much passion and love.

"Ale- do you know what-" both of you froze at the same time, your girlfriend shielding your exposed body as her sister stood in the door frame, "oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!" she covered eyes, rushing out of the room and slamming the door shut.

"mierda!" Ale was off of you in an instant, throwing your shirt back to you.

"I‘m Alba!" the younger Putellas called threw the door, "we haven‘t meet yet. I‘m her sister!"

You chuckled - wrong move as Alexia glared at you, marching out of her bedroom.

"Do you ever knock?!" she said angrily, pulling her sister away, giving you the time you needed.

"I thought you were asleep! You didn‘t open the front door when I knocked" the sister defended herself in their mother tongue.

Alexia huffed, pinching the bridge of her nose, "so, who‘s she?" Alba asked.

Perfectly timed, you exited the bedroom, walking towards the sisters in the living room, "I’m Y/N" you smiled nicely, offering your hand.

"Alba" she introduced herself once again, returning your smile and shaking your hand.

"She‘s my girlfriend" the midfielder huffed, annoyed that her little sister caught you, "20€ if you don‘t tell anyone about it" the older one said.

She would pay money to keep you a secret? Don‘t get me wrong, you didn‘t want to be public as you loved the privacy both of you had as individuals and together but you did hope for that she would at least tell your friends and family. All you wanted was to hold her hand and not to worry about standing too close to her.

The sparkle in your eyes died down, feeling stings in your heart but nonetheless respecting Alexia‘s wishes.

"I don‘t need your money" Alba stated when she saw the way your face fell, "you could have just said please."

You felt more than rejected in that moment.

"You won‘t tell anybody about this" she ordered this time now, her jaw clenched and voice firm - captains order.

Alba walked towards the door, "I‘m going to the car, mamá is waiting. Hurry up" before she left, only Alexia and you left in her apartment.

"I‘m sorry amor, I forgot that we were having lunch together." the midfielder explained, not knowing nor realizing that her behavior had hurt you as she was just apologizing for the incident of Alba walking in.

"You can stay if you‘d like" she smiled, putting on her shoes.

After she had laced her last shoe, she pulled you in by your hips, kissing you good bye, getting a bit carried as the feeling of your lips locked was addicting.

-

You loved being Alexia‘s girlfriend but you didn‘t like being her secret.

To be honest, it didn‘t bother you at first but after 6 months, you started to think about at least telling your family (officially you hadn‘t even met Alba before) and friends but every time you proposed the idea of it, she got defensive and annoyed, so you didn‘t bring it up again.

After one year, you slowly started to think that maybe she was ashamed of being seen with you, just being with you or of you as her behavior got more and more secretive day by day - she didn‘t even act like your friend in training.

You didn‘t know where it was coming from because whenever you were behind closed doors, she was the most affectionate person who loved to cook for you or just sharing the same air made her heart and brain go love sick. She was indeed very much in love with you yet afraid to show this love outside of either of your apartments.

Sometimes you wished that she would take you out for dinner - it didn‘t have to be fancy at all, McDonalds would be simply enough - you just wanted to experience a date night.

And even though, she made home as romantic as possible, it wasn’t enough anymore. You craved for more.

Sometimes when you saw Ingrid and Mapi openly in love, you felt jealous. You wanted that too.

They were your friends and you were so happy for them as they matched each other perfectly but you couldn’t help but feel envy. You envied what they have, imagining how it would feel like with Alexia - hoping to have that with Alexia, one day.

-

"Do you want to go out tonight? Frido told me about this new restaurant!" you said smiling.

The midfielder looked up from her notebook, pausing the tv as she replayed Chelsea’s matches (the club Barcelona would face in the uwcl semi finals)

"Is it takeout?" she asked.

You shook your head - no. "We can go out" you tried again, flopping next to her on the couch.

"Amor!" she grumbled as all her notes fell to the ground, now not sorted anymore.

"Sorry"

"I‘m preparing for our upcoming matches, you should join me in fact, so you know how Chelsea will play. We can order takeout - you know I don‘t like going out with you" she sorted through her notes, grumbling and huffing at the non existing order. She hadn‘t realized that her words were harsh and in fact rude.

You got the message - she didn’t like going out(side) with you, she had made that very clear.

"I can get you some food from there tomorrow" she added, her voice gentle and the wrinkle between her brows gone as her notes were back in the correct order.

It didn‘t help though, you felt hurt. Was it that bad to be seen with you? You‘re a Barcelona player, her teammate - and friends get food together all the time, so why can‘t you get food together as friends? Nobody would suspect that the two of you were more than friends, right?

"Are you hungry? Do you want me to cook something for you, mi amor?"

Again, you shook your head, scrolling through your phone while you acted tough and unbothered by her comment as she didn‘t even notice how harsh her words had sounded before.

You sent a message in the group chat with Ingrid and Frido, asking if they wanted to try out the restaurant which the Swedish woman had discovered. Both of them agreed within seconds.

-

The two of you laid in bed, Alexia‘s arms wrapped around you as she whispered sweet nothings in your ear. It became a routine for Alexia to lull you to sleep while tracing patterns along your skin. She loved doing so and she loved watching you sleep - you looked at peace.

Something about tonight was different though. Normally, it wouldn’t take long for the captain to soothe you to sleep but after 30 minutes, you still were awake, mind seemingly not finding any rest.

"¿Qué pasa?" she whispered in the dark, gently pressing a kiss to the exposed skin on your shoulder.

"It‘s been over a year, Ale, when will you introduce me as your girlfriend? Or take me out on a date that isn’t in here?" your voice was almost inaudible. You knew it was a sensitive topic for Alexia, the girl always denying your requests on telling someone and shutting you out after the conversation and also avoiding you for the rest of the day. "Amor.. we‘ve talked about this" she said, pulling her hands off your body.

Coldness hit your body while the parts were her hands had rested burnt down.

You turned around, looking at her, the moonlight the only light source "all I’m asking is for some recognition." you admitted, almost pleading for her attention outside of either of your homes.

"But I see you. I see you in training and after training, why is it so important to you that people now? We won‘t have any privacy!" her voice raising slightly.

"Alexia… this has nothing to do with the media. I want to meet your family! Or go on a date and wear very nice clothes. Is that too much to ask for?"

"You‘re right. Lo siento, amor" her hands cupped your cheeks, resting her forehead against yours, "I‘ll try to be better"

-

Over the next few months, Alexia’s home started to become your least favourite place - you felt like you were trapped in a cage.

Nothing had changed.

She loved you behind closed doors while she couldn’t even look at you in training.

Each day that passed, more of your heart broke. Your motivation faded - football was your work and no longer a passion.

And Alexia could tell. Your passes were sloppy and your tackles were harsh.

As soon as you had arrived in her apartment, she began complaining about your attitude.

You were not having it.

You started yelling at each other, rude comments leaving both of your mouths,

"You promised me!" you shouted, all hidden anger and hurt discovering the surface, "you promised me and nothing has changed! I‘m your dirty little secret!" you spat.

"Alba knows about you, isn’t that enough?!"

"You offered her fucking money to keep her mouth shut!"

"What do you want?!"

"I can‘t do this anymore, Alexia. I don’t want to think about whether my girlfriend is ashamed of me or not."

"What are you talking about- amor?"

"I‘m worth more than that."

"Please- give me a chance"

"I did, Ale, more than once" you walked towards the front door, bending down to put on your shoes.

The captain followed, so overwhelmed by what was happening that her persona took some turns, "If you walk out that door, we‘re done!"

your hand was resting on the doorknob, ready to leave.

You looked at her, "Behind that door, we never existed anyway."

And with that being said, you left.

[sordezos]

I loved Sleepy Girl so much and I somehow just came up with an angsty part two, where Y/N drives back home alone after practice and gets in a car accident and is in a coma and Leah tells her something along the lines ‘I never wanted you to wake up more now, please open those eyes’ or something like that. I WOULD DIE WITH YOUR WRITING, it would be so so perfect

sleepy girl [ part 2 ] - leah williamson

leah williamson x reader

description: in which your sleepiness that was once leah’s favourite became one of her nightmares

warnings: angsty but happy happy ending, my loves, mentions of: injuries, hospital, unconscious reader, tears, swearing, longgg

a/n: when i wreck all the softness with sadness and then give you more softness because i’m nice, my goodness - first REALLY angsty fic, i hope i did you all justice!! also you are so sweet, thank you so much, baby!

read part one here!!

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

no matter the time or place, you were still the same. you were leah’s sleepy girl.

your ability to fall asleep on your girlfriend still as prominent as ever, happening anywhere and everywhere.

—

now that leah had returned, your ‘leah training laps’ were used up to your advantage like no tomorrow. taking every opportunity to fall asleep on your girlfriend.

you were both training with arsenal, training finally finished and proving to be quite a difficult one.

important matches were approaching, so it only made sense that the intensity and demand of training was heightened.

leah had gone into the change rooms first while you were talking to alessia and kyra about a new movie you and leah had watched in cinema.

though, your words got cut short when a yawn escaped your mouth and the two girls chatting with you immediately laugh.

alessia grabs your arm while kyra pushes you from behind, teasing you as they entered the change room.

leah was already showered, dressed in sweats and a hoodie that had her looking so warm and inviting. she was scrolling on her phone waiting for you.

“delivery!” alessia grins, pushing you into the lap of your girlfriend who barely had time to put her phone down to catch you.

leah took one look at your face to realise what the cheeky grins from the younger girls were for. “do i need to sign?” leah teases, her hand holding your thigh as you buried your face into her neck. she feels the vibration of your laugh on her skin and she can’t help but smile.

“already sleepy, my girl?” leah asks fondly, her hand moving to cradle your head to her while the other rested on your thigh, her thumb brushing over the skin gently.

you hum in response, pressing a gentle kiss to where her neck met her shoulder. “you smell nice” you mumble against her skin, “you’re so cute” she coos, kissing your forehead while you quite literally melted into her.

and before you knew it, you dozed off. leah chuckled when she felt your dead weight against her.

her hand moving from the back of your head to rest under your training top, rubbing gentle circles on the skin of your back.

“like clockwork” she teases gently, sending small smiles to people that would smile at the two of you and send glares to the ones being a little too loud.

“bethany, turn around and walk the other fucking way” leah whisper shouts, already knowing what was going to happen just by the shit eating grin on the girl’s face.

“i’m not doing anything, relax” beth laughs, sitting beside leah and giving a couple smirks to the few people left in the room.

“(y/n) fire!” beth yells, getting a harsh slap on the leg from leah that had the girl wincing.

surprisingly, you didn’t wake up.

“well that’s just concerning” lia grins, leah rolls her eyes at both of them. “can you please let my girlfriend sleep peacefully for two seconds?” she pleads, still whispering, she freezes when you nuzzle into her further, letting out a heavy sigh against her skin that gave her goosebumps.

“(y/n), leah’s leaving!” alessia yells, laughing brightly as you stir awake, “good to know where her priorities are, leah’s buzzing” alessia grins, leah didn’t deny it, her cheeks did get a little pink when your confused face moved from her neck.

“you’re leaving?” you mumble sadly, wrapping your arms around her neck. leah immediately coos, you were the cutest person in the world.

“no, baby, i’m not going anywhere” she kisses all over your face, pulling you closer to her while she flips off the three teasing girls who were now dispersing from the change room.

you pull away from her slightly to face her, giving her your signature sleepy smile before placing a sweet kiss on her lips. she hums against you, your lips moving together tenderly as you drew her in closer by her neck.

“you ready to go?” she mumbles between your kisses, you only pulling away to give her a gentle nod, a couple of quick pecks pressed against her mouth making her giggle softly.

you stand up and stretch with a loud groan, “that was a good nap, babe, thanks!” you say cheekily, holding up your hand for a high five.

she chuckles, high-fiving you but interlacing your fingers together, pulling you to her by your interlocked hands and placing a kiss to the top of your knuckles.

“anytime, gorgeous” she smiles at you charmingly, grabbing both of your bags and walking out together.

—

arsenal was having a day full of media, usually one of your favourite days because they always paired you up with your girlfriend.

you both weren’t called up yet, having the time to relax before you both had to film. and of course, you took advantage of the situation, running over to her with an excited smile as she chatted with lia.

“hey, baby, i was looking for you” she smiles as you approached, bending down slightly to place a quick kiss to your lips in greeting.

“how many naps have you had today, (y/n/n)?” lia grins at you, “none yet, i’m due for one” you say cheekily, giving your girlfriend a suggestive smile.

“can i help you with something?” she chuckles, you only smile at her in response, placing your hands on her hips to pull her closer to you.

lia got called for media and she waves you both goodbye, both of you barely registering it with the way you were staring at each other.

“my gorgeous, beautiful, amazing girlfriend-” you start, “we can take a nap, babe” she laughs as you immediately perk up, grabbing her hand and running to a beanbag.

you push her down on it and lay on top of her, immediately cuddling into her as she wrapped her arms around you. and in a short time, you fell asleep. leah smiled fondly when your steady breaths grazed her skin.

you slept for about an hour before you were called up with leah, receiving numerous kisses to your forehead as you woke up slowly. “come on, baby” leah whispers, “no” you whine, refusing to move as leah tried to wake you up.

“please” leah cooed, resting her head on top of yours while her arms encircled your waist. “lee” you groan, holding yourself up to hover over her,

“you’re so pretty” leah smiles up at you, making you go slightly pink in the cheeks as she looked at you adoringly.

she pulls you down for a kiss, somehow managing to drag you off the beanbag, wrapped around her like a koala as she carried you over to a table with challenges on it for a video.

“sorry we’re late” leah grins, the media team laughing when you give them a tired smile and wave.

you both did media for around an hour and a half, about to leave together before you get asked to do an individual interview. you look at leah with a pout and she laughs,

“it’s alright, baby, take my car and i’ll go home with viv and beth” leah assures, pulling you into a little hug. “you sure?” you mumble against her.

“i don’t want you being stuck here so take the car, i’ll go home and start dinner” leah assures, her hand cradling your cheek as you look up at her sadly.

“it’s only a couple of hours” she smiles, looking right into your eyes with blown out pupils. you nod reluctantly, puckering your lips at her.

she closes the gap, placing a few soft kisses to your lips before she ushers you to get back to work.

“i love you” she whispers against your lips, “i love you too” you say back instantly, pressing your lips to hers before she waves at you.

“don’t make smileys for dinner!” you yell out after her, “no promises!” you laugh brightly as she matches your energy, sitting down to answer your interview.

—

you do your media duties, sending leah a message you were about to leave colney. you go to leah’s car and begin the drive home, you were driving in the familiar streets, relatively residential areas you passed everyday.

you were about to turn into a street, just one away from your home where leah was waiting for you.

that’s when a car came out of nowhere, you saw it coming and you couldn’t do anything about it, unable to move. the car pulled out of the junction without even stopping and swiped the front of your car.

you breathing quickened, a scream escaping your throat at how fast the car came at you, you felt your legs trapped, hitting your head harshly on the side of the car from the impact.

the airbag deployed and sent you jolting back in your seat. the seatbelt kept you safe but also grazed the side of your neck painfully.

all you could think about was leah.

from the hit to your temple, you passed out immediately and didn’t know the severity of the crash.

your car had flipped completely on its side, you were knocked out cold. witnesses immediately called for emergency services, the other car damaged as well but he was completely unscathed. (he got a hell of a law suit)

leah was worried by how long it had taken you to come home, especially without notice. she called your phone, it rang 4 times, you always picked up on 1. she paced around the front door waiting to see your dazzling smile walk through that door.

the phone picked up, “baby, where are you? are you okay?” she rushed out, barely giving who she thought was you time to respond.

“sorry, are you this girl’s partner?” a woman’s voice on the other side of the phone. “uh, sorry yes, who is this?” leah felt her heart beating out of her chest, why did this strange woman have your phone.

“i’m a paramedic, i have your girlfriend in the ambulance with me and it’s very serious, do you think you could make your way to the hospital?” leah flatlined right there.

“excuse me? what the fuck happened, what’s wrong with my girlfriend?” leah feels tears welling in her eyes, scrambling to get her shoes on and rushing out of the door.

she was so thankful your car that was barely used was here, getting details of the accident as she rushed to the hospital.

when she reaches the front desk, she’s full on sobbing at this point.

“my girlfriend’s been in an accident, can you help me find her?” she breathes out, the nurse at the front immediately knew who she was talking about.

“you must be leah, ms (y/l/n) is currently in surgery, she’s lost a lot of blood and has a few serious gashes to her head and neck” the nurse explains carefully, the tears rush down leah’s cheeks as she hears the details, internally cursing herself for not waiting for you.

“she’s also broken her wrist, i’m so sorry but you’re going to have to wait until she’s out of the operating theatre to see her” the nurse says sympathetically, directing leah to a chair outside the theatre.

leah’s leg bounced as she waited for you, sobbing as she called your family, her family, jonas. she felt so guilty, her heart completely shattered thinking about how scared you probably were. wishing she was there for you.

this wasn’t supposed to happen. you were supposed to be at home, cuddling, sleeping. not in a fucking hospital getting poked and prodded to keep you alive.

—

you finally get rolled out of the operating theatre and leah rushes up, gasping when she sees you. you have a tube in your mouth, drips attached to your arms and bandages around the head, your arms. you looked so frail. leah began to cry again.

“baby” she breathes out, holding onto the bed when they transfer you into the intensive care unit. “she’s stable” the doctor assures, “she’s going to be okay” he nods, answering her like he can read her mind.

the nurse explains you’re in a coma, and probably will be for a bit but it’s surprisingly not too serious.

they assure leah that the paramedics got to you in time, your injuries sustained were treatable and can be managed easily with time and patience. something leah had an endless amount for you.

leah sits down beside you with a heavy sigh, shakily grabbing your hand and holding it gently, her thumb brushing over your knuckles.

“my girl” she said tearfully, her forehead pressed into your thigh. she listened to the faint beeping in the room, your heartbeat steady.

—

people came in and out to see you and leah hardly ever left your side, it had been two weeks since the accident, the amount of love and support being sent your way was honestly overwhelming for leah.

she took care of you diligently, only going home when it was necessary and it was never more than an hour.

regularly rushing over from training despite the pleas of jonas and the girls telling her to take time off. but she knew you wouldn’t want that, you’d hate the fact she barely left to take care of herself.

“always been such a sleepy girl” she smiles, brushing stray hairs from your face as she sat beside you. “i miss you so much, baby” she sniffs, a tear escaping her eye as she looked at you. you didn’t require your tube anymore, only requiring an oxygen mask.

you wounds were healing well, you were recovering. slowly but leah didn’t care, wanting you to get the best care possible and she made sure of it.

“at training, beth told me laura taught myle another new trick, when you’re up, maybe we can go and see baby myle, i’m sure she misses her favourite auntie” she smiles, her finger curling and brushing your cheek gently.

“everyone sends you their love, no one more than me though, for my special baby” she chuckles, adjusting your blankets in an attempt to make you as comfortable as possible.

she lets out a heavy sigh with a pained smile, holding your hand again as she just looked at you. she knew she looked awful, having barely any sleep. but how could she, you were in bed all day while she waited for you to wake up. she wouldn’t wish it on her worst enemy.

“i don’t think i’ve ever wanted you to wake up more than right now” she says tearfully, “please just wake up, baby” she chokes out, crying into her arm on the bed while the other gripped your hand.

that’s when she felt your hand twitch slightly, her head snapped up to look at you. you went still again. “(y/n)” she breathes out, her eyebrows furrowing as she looked at you. your finger twitched again in her hold, everything went quiet.

“it’s okay, darling, i’m here, beautiful” she utters, “wake up for me, gorgeous” she pleads, your hand fully grips hers then and she freezes, you begin to stir and she yells for a nurse, she comes rushing in and immediately calls for your doctor, your eyes slowly begin to open and you’re very disoriented.

“hey, sleepy head” leah laughs with tears, in disbelief and relief you finally woke up.

the doctors rush in and check your vitals, showing good signs physically but also being able to identify your name, the year, the last thing you did.

leah cried out in relief, watching as you slowly came to your senses.

when the doctors start explaining what happened to you, everything made sense, you nodded along with them, processing everything with tears running down your cheeks.

when you start to remember everything, you gasp, suddenly screaming for leah, her eyes widen, “baby, breathe, i’m here” she asserts, smoothing down your hair and sitting on the edge of your bed directly next to you, making sure to face you.

“leah, the car” you cry, hyperventilating as you looked at her with wild eyes, “forget about the car-” leah says sternly,

“no, i fucking crashed your car, your expensive car, oh my god” you breathe out, the nurses and doctors stand their awkwardly but this was actually a good sign, showing how well you have recovered.

“baby, don’t worry about it, please, listen to the doctor” she scolds slightly, squeezing your hand but you begin to cry harder. “leah, no, the car-” you sob.

“you’ve somehow got it in your fucking head that i care about the car more than you!” leah exclaims,

“you’re the only thing i care about, so forget about the car” leah reprimands.

“we’ll give you two a minute” the doctor smiles, leah giving them a nod as they all get out of the room.

“i’m so sorry” you cry, leah tutts, pulling you to her chest, her hand cradling your head to her chest.

“there’s nothing to be sorry about, baby girl” leah says softly in your ear.

she pulls back to look you in the eyes, “the stupid car can be replaced, you, my love, cannot” she shakes her head, looking right into your eyes to tell you she was serious.

she kisses your forehead softly, hugging you gently as if you were the most fragile thing in the universe.

—

you stayed in the hospital for another week, doing check ups and tests, groaning every time you had to do one and gaining a very icy glare from leah.

she took a week off when you were discharged, taking care of you like you did with her acl injury. barely any breaks. focusing on the other’s health rather than your own. you truly were perfect for each other.

“lee, i don’t want another cup of tea, I want you!” you plead, pawing at her to sit down with you for just two minutes without her scrambling to do something else.

she was incredibly strict with you, barely letting you do anything for yourself despite your assurance you were fine.

—

leah was flat on the couch as you lay on top of her, sleeping against her gently as she rubbed her hands over your back.

she’s never missed something so much, so simple, although, whenever you were sleeping she couldn’t help but watch you.

she would watch to make sure you were breathing normally, making sure you would wriggle in her embrace when it got tight knowing you were actually alive. you didn’t know about this. but you knew leah cared about you. you felt it everywhere.

the way this girl would just stare at you in astonishment more than usual was heartstopping. leah had a lot of respect for you but even more knowing you’ve been fighting for your life for the past couple of weeks.

she treated you like a fragile flower, afraid to see you break again under her fingertips. you were so incredibly grateful for leah, thanking her profusely with sweet kisses every time she did something for you.

you both confided in each other, telling the other side of the story and gaining that closure you both needed. you were both handling it so healthily, it was beautiful to see.

leah made you laugh, she held you when you cried and assured you everything would be alright. and you felt like it truly was, because you had leah. your leah.

—

about a year later, you made your return to the pitch. leah cried when you ran out on the field, hastily wiping her tears as you passed her, blowing her a kiss as you took your position in an arsenal game.

the roar of the crowd was deafening at a sold out emirates, only getting louder when you scored a goal, getting hoisted up on leah’s waist while she kissed your cheek repeatedly.

you cradle her face in between your hands, pressing a tender kiss to her lips as she let you slip from her waist to the ground. you both shared a knowing look, all the hard work had been worth it for this moment. having each other at your weakest points proving to be everything and more.

when you both made it to the change room, you collapsed onto leah’s lap, falling asleep quickly and having the girl smiling affectionately.

all the girls smile as they walked passed, happy to see tje sight of you and leah in your little bubble. everyone was so grateful you were back.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you know the drill, just pretend it’s you xx ily beffy

liked by alessia and 44,232 others

leahwilliamsonn: 387 days, 4 months and 23 days, the strongest person i know is back and better than ever, i love you more than life, welcome home, my sleepy girl❤️🤍

view all comments

yourname: the strongest person I KNOW, i love you so more

↳ leahwilliamsonn: impossible

↳ yourname: extremely possible

bethmead_: never thought i’d miss seeing your little sloth sleeping on you in my life but i did

↳ alessia: me too

↳ leahwilliamsonn: me too

↳ yourname: me too, i was deprived of my leah naps

↳ leahwilliamsonn: let’s make up for lost time

[sordezos]

ingrid engen as your girlfriend would be like..

author notes: filler until i can post full fics again 💔 that writer's block is eating me alive. just a bunch of these and blurbs for now. enjoy it tho!

➜ ingrid is a clingy type of girlfriend. always wanting to be around you or on you. gets all pouty when she can't

➜ a certified passenger princess. don't even think to ask if she wants to drive, the answer is no every single time

➜ obsessed with biting your ears for some reason? it's her love language don't question it

➜ if you're a player as well she loves wearing your jerseys. one she even uses as a pajama shirt (probably an really old one) and she definitely makes a few outfits with your jerseys included

➜ somehow always gets you to dance with her in the kitchen while trying to cook dinner

➜ loves to do your makeup if you're on the more masc side (and she will be taking photos so pose girl)

➜ brings you along with her to visit her family in norway every chance she gets

➜ the type of girlfriend to play with your little siblings, make your parents love her, and just become a key member of your family

➜ eventually teaches you norwegian once you two are together for a good while. she gives you norwegian candies everytime you make progress

➜ if you aren't a cat person you are going to become one once ingrid is in the picture

➜ her gallery is full of photos of you sleeping or eating or playing with you two's cats or just anything because she's in love with you

➜ gets extra flirty when she's drunk

➜ ingrid is more chaotic than people would think. especially when you convince her to play fifa with you, she gets super competitive and tries to distract you by flirting (it works)

➜ has to either sleep on top of you or have you on top of her. skin to skin contact no matter what

➜ will use her princess looks against you whenever you say no to her

➜ brings you along to her lil shopping trips and asks your opinion on everything

➜ introduces you as her "beautiful girlfriend" to the barcelona team once you two got serious

➜ a hard launch warrior and did not care when everyone was surprised in her comment section on instagram

➜ sometimes has a big attitude but a few kisses from you fixes that easily

© thinkingaboutjaedyn

[sordezos]

Aitana on her way to ask fans from the back rows if they’re unemployed

[sordezos]

Recipe for Love

this is for the lovely anon who asked for it 💓 double upload today and I’ll probably upload the Leah fic as well later so the people that wanted to read it again don’t have to wait :)

the request was this:

hello! I have to say I love your writing and if it's okay to consider this request. R is new to the barca team coming from England, but she's reserved. sticking to Lucy or Keira, hardly talks and gets spooked when someone tries to interact with her. aitana tries her best to interact with r and r gets more closer to aitana and they end up dating. thank you!

light angst and then a whole lot of comfort 💓

-

You’re as grateful as back then shortly before you stepped out into the Wembley Stadium for the Euros finale, that Lucy is the actual calmness in person and has no issue with you squeezing her hand until it’s blue. 

“No need to be nervous.” Keira appears next to you, giving you a gentle pat on your shoulder. “They’re all very nice.” 

You nod though you still feel like throwing up. Why didn’t you just stay with Arsenal? You could be walking into the familiar red changing rooms right now, talking with Leah and joking with Katie about her impressive resume of yellow cards surrounded by people you know.

Instead you were about to walk into Barcelonas changing room for the first time, not a single soul familiar apart from the two beside you right now. You’re not really willing to start walking but Lucy tugs you forward, making you follow her. 

When she opens the door of the changing room where everyone’s in already, you regret that you went with Lucy and Keira to your first team training, because of course Lucy yells up for everyone to pay attention and then introduces you. 

Countless pairs of eyes are on you in a split second and you’re quick to look down to the ground. One by one they come over to give you a short hug and introduce themselves - although you obviously know them all already. Either from past games or because you’ve been obsessed with googling and trying to find out as much about this team as possible as soon as you got the offer. 

You barely registrate who the various people talking to you are, too focused on trying to keep your breathing steady - until Aitana Bonmati herself steps in front of you. Unlike the others she doesn’t tower over you, merely maybe one centimetre taller. She gives you a sweet smile before introducing herself as if she wasn’t literally Aitana Bonmati. You try to shake your nervousness off and accept the hug she gives you, the older woman squeezing you once before she lets go, making place for the next person by going back to her cubby as she throws you another look over her shoulder. You hope it’s not because you seem rude, oblivious to the knowing glance Lucy and Keira exchange with a small smile. 

Once everyone has said hello, Alexia tells you where to put your stuff and thankfully it’s right in the middle of Lucy and Keira. It seems that they all planned to have you close to Lucy and Keira, wanting to make you feel more comfortable with your English teammates as you get adjusted. 

Well, that quickly comes back to bite them. You only do drills with someone else if you get told by Jona to do so, otherwise sticking with Lucy or Keira who thankfully don’t mind since you’re really good at the drills and make them work for it. 

You are also in general glued to either Keira and Lucy, preferring Keira on the pitch since she was the best training partner and was so difficult to take the ball from and choosing Lucy to sit next to during meals because she was always super involved and talkative so you didn’t have to say anything. 

Both Lucy and Keira were concerned with how much you avoided to interact with anyone else on the team, lost as to why since everyone was being very nice. Still, you looked like a deer in headlights every time someone other than those two spoke to you. 

Lucy had taught you a few words and phrases in Spanish and the team spoke English when they were around you to make it easier for you to involve yourself into the conversation, but you always just listened and nodded along. 

You weren’t being rude which is why Alexia hesitated to do anything about it, pretty certain that you’d feel like you’re getting criticised if she told you outright to please try and talk more to the others. 

Aitana was also unsure on how to handle this. She had been really excited when she saw the news that you’d be joining Barca, having had a crush on you since back then at the England v Spain Euros game where you had sent a cheeky nutmeg through her legs with no shame only to blush shyly later on when your teammates congratulated you on your absolute banger of a goal. She found you incredibly endearing and had been looking forward to spend time with you, showing you Barcelona and maybe getting you to agree on a date with her. Even attempting to get you to say more than one word to her was a challenge though - she knew you were just painfully shy and nervous and it had nothing to do with her. After all she had seen that you could be quite outgoing actually, having listened in with a small smile as you animatedly told Keira about one of your new interests who had shook her head with a chuckle. 

But still, Aitana was tired of not getting any chance to really talk to you, therefore deciding to do something about it. She knew that you’d be mortified if she called you out on it, so she was gentle but firm about it. First approaching Keira, knowing that she would be less likely to tease whereas Lucy would not let it go if she told her that she wanted to talk to you so badly. 

Keira did send her a knowing smile but agreed easily to give you a gentle push to pair up with Aitana on the pitch. 

You didn’t know anything about this and so you were floored when Aitana showed up right in front of you during training and asked you to pair up with her, Keira basically evaporating into thin air, leaving you to have to say yes. 

You were extremely nervous and Aitana could tell, leading you quite far away from the others who were training on the pitch and deciding to start slowly with some passes. Then it was just some dribbling exercises as she had seen how good you were at those but you barely tried, just passing the ball back to her, way too insecure about potentially embarrassing yourself in front of someone who literally won the Ballon d’Or. 

Aitana stayed patient, not wanting you to think she was getting mad and pretty certain that you would simply get bored of not doing anything soon anyway. And she was right, when she passed you the ball for the 100th time you really felt like a little dribbling wouldn’t hurt, tired of just standing there instead of doing what you love. 

So you two began actually doing the exercise together now and you couldn’t deny that it was fun - after a bit Aitana even tried to steal the ball which was evaded by you quickly dribbling it past her and she let out a laugh when her foot only hit air. You smiled when you heard the sound, the whistle from Jona telling you that it’s time for a break. 

You were intent on joining Lucy and Keira again but were stopped by Aitana wrapping an arm around you, gentle but firmly and leading you with her to the cooler with the water bottles. Both Lucy and Keira stayed pretty far away and watched with a smile as you interacted with Aitana who had no problem leading the majority of the conversation, happily asking question after question now that she finally had a chance to really talk to you.

She was still quite close, sometimes brushing her arm against yours or patting your shoulder at some of her words. 

Talking to her was fun and a lot easier than you thought, her English accent absolutely adorable and you were very thankful that she was willing to speak English instead of Spanish with you - her English definitely far better than your Spanish though it was still endearing to see how she sometimes stumbled over words or was unsure of how to say it in English so she just gave you the wildest descriptions. 

It also impressed you, seriously admiring how she had no problem putting herself out there and speaking a foreign language just to interact with you - the confidence something you were quite far away from.

In the second half of training you teamed up with her again, you barely getting a choice as she just grabbed you and led you away. It was fun again and this time you played seriously from the start, finally letting Aitana see just how good you were. No wonder Barcelona had put in offer after offer until Arsenal couldn’t say no anymore to that price.

Over the next weeks Aitana did not let up, now it was always her teaming up with you, making sure you were laughing and relaxed by the end of it but also testing your skills constantly, often leaving you a bit frustrated at how she seemingly had a magnet in her boots to lead the ball away from your feet. You had already agreed with the decision before but now you really understood just why she had received the Ballon D’or.

She ensured that it was just the two of you in the beginning but then dragged you into team conversations, making sure to involve you and always one arm around your shoulders to give you an anchor. She knew it was important that you interacted with the others before you completely missed that train and never build any kind of teammate relationship with them. 

And it worked - at the beginning you were still mostly silent but Aitana just asked countless questions directed at you specifically so you’d have to answer and give everyone a chance to get to know you. Over time you actually started to react to some of the teasing and got into hilarious discussions with Mapi about why dogs are superior to cats - Mapi of course vehemently disagreeing. In the end, you were the one to give in when she told you to come over to her house, pet Bagheera and then look into her eyes and tell her again that dogs are better. 

You had laughed but in the end agreed when she wouldn’t stop pestering you about visiting. Needless to say you were absolutely in awe of the black cat and agreed that dogs and cats were both incredibly great which Mapi could definitely get behind with. 

Aitana had been following the playful argument between you two and felt a sting at how you agreed to go to Mapis house but not hers. Granted, she hadn’t invited you so far so maybe she was being a bit unfair. 

Realising that now that you were building up genuine friendships with the team, she had to one up herself if she wanted to be the one who was closest to you, she invited you over for one of her self cooked meals and was absolutely thrilled when you didn’t even argue and seemed genuinely happy to come over. 

The evening was great, you were noticeably a bit nervous and Aitana didn’t have a cat that would calm you down but she had her smile which worked wonders for you, having gotten so used to the comfort she provided. 

The meal was absolutely perfect and you told Aitana that you would definitely need the recipe for that one so you could copy it.

She was a bit hesitant to give it to you though. 

“You don’t need the recipe, I will cook for you, sí?” You laughed, certain that she’d grow tired of you asking for this every second day pretty soon, deciding on teasing her a bit on her reluctance to share.

“Is it like a family recipe that you can’t hand out? Or do put some disgusting ingredients in it? Like three strands of hair and some toenails?”

You again had to laugh when Aitana grimaced at your words and acted like she was going to throw up. Having gotten quite comfortable with her now, you unabashedly poked her into her side, intent on annoying her a bit. 

It was a massive change to you a few weeks ago, you would have been mortified at the prospect of annoying her and would have never done it on purpose. Which was why Aitana accepted it with a happy grin, though with her being very ticklish she squealed when you started to tickle her, leaning over her to try and stop her from escaping. 

She was squirming underneath you, laughing loudly and when you asked her again why she didn’t want to give the receipt to you, she decided to take her chance and be honest. 

She was quick to roll over you and pin your hands down, settling herself on your stomach as if this was a normal thing to do between friends - granted, she was Spanish after all so maybe it really was normal for her. You swallowed hard as she looked down at you, a teasing smile on her lips. 

“You want to know why I don’t want to give you the recipe?”

You only nodded, unsure your voice would work with how intensively she was staring at you right now. 

“Well,” her thumb began tracing your wrist slightly from where she was still holding it down, causing goosebumps to quickly spread all over. 

“If I give it to you, then you won’t show up here anymore to let me cook for you. And I’d be terribly sad.”

Your eyes widened a bit. She had said it so seriously that you were quite sure she was being flirty but you didn’t trust your judgement right now since it was most certainly clouded by an extremely attractive and funny woman sitting right on top of you at the moment. 

“I’d still show up.” Your voice is slightly breathless, chest rising and falling a lot faster than usually and Aitanas satisfied smile tells you that she noticed. 

She leans down further, eyes locked onto yours. 

“Promise?” 

Her lips are dangerously close to yours right now, almost touching. 

“Yes.” 

In the next moment her lips are on yours, soft but demanding and quickly eliciting a very breathy moan from you at how good she was at it. She definitely knew what she was doing as she very gently slid her tongue into your mouth, carefully pushing it a bit against yours to test the waters. You wanted to pull her closer but couldn’t, still held down by her hands on your wrists which caused you to protest, trying to squirm yourself out from underneath her. 

She quickly separated, releasing your wrists and an apology ready on her lips as she thought for a moment that she had gone too far. She didn’t get a word out though because as soon as your hands were free you grabbed her and pulled her back in again, your hands wandering over her back to her shoulders and tangling in her hair as you pressed your lips to hers once more. Smiling into the kiss when she realised what you’d apparently been upset about, she involved her tongue into it again, her own hands being free to explore your body now which she quickly made use of. You could feel the way she traced along your waist, one hand dipping underneath and inching down towards your ass - though she stopped at your lower back, only a few fingers dangerously close to where you wanted them as she instead pressed herself more down onto you. She wanted to feel you closer, get a chance to freely explore the body she had more or less sneakily checked out countless times these past weeks.

She made sure to stay above your clothes though, not wanting to rush into this and content with just kissing you for now. Although she couldn’t deny the heat in her lower parts at some of your soft sighs while her tongue was caressing your mouth, the breathy moan that escaped you when she lightly bit down onto your lower lip was enough for her to wonder what other sounds she could get out of you. She found out soon enough when she did finally trail her hands over your ass and squeezed it, the mix of a gasp and moan from you was pure heaven as she couldn’t resist a teasing smile, storing this particular piece of information away for a later time when she’d get to have her way with you.

It was still important to her to do this right though, being very intent on actually dating you and not letting this be just a one time thing so it would have to wait and she’d give you some time to adjust to all of this. The last thing she wanted was to make you uncomfortable or scare you off because she was going too fast.

So, when you had to separate for a moment, both completely out of breath with swollen lips and a dopey smile on your face she gently reached out to caress one of your now slightly rosy cheeks. 

“I’ll give you the recipe if you go on a real date with me.” 

You chuckled and couldn’t resist pulling her into your arms, letting out a deep breath at the feeling of her strong arms tightening around you. 

“I think I’d actually prefer dating you and you just cook it for me every time I want.” She pulled away from you for a moment at that, a teasing smile on your face as she grinned at your words, one hand reaching out and her thumb softly tracing your now swollen and reddened lips. 

“Deal.” 

[sordezos]

Loyalty and Love // Leah Williamson

warnings: dead family member

Leah was a gooner through and through, never been seen in a different club jersey than the arsenals as she was Arsenals biggest fan.

She went through all the youth team stages until she reached the senior team. Her body was full of loyalty to the club while your career path was very different - something Leah did not like about you.

Your career started at your hometown club near Bavaria, Germany, until FC Bayern München became aware of you. You were the only girl in the league and still scored the most goals. So to be fair, your actual club career started at the FC Bayern academy. You started there at the age of 10 and played there until the age of 16.

At 16 years old, you said good bye to Germany and played for Ajax in the Netherlands. You played two years for them and enjoyed every second with the Ajax family, yet after those two years, you transferred to AS Roma. You had many transfer offers, inside the league and outside of it but even though, you had transferred a few times already, you had one rule: never play in the same league with a different club. Roma sent you on loan to Olympique Lyon where you won the champions league and the league, each time as a key player of the team. OL offered you a real contract which you gladly signed - winning the treble. After three years in France, where you had learned a lot technical stuff but also had developed further as a person, it was time for a new challenge. A new club and country.

Spain was calling, FC Barcelona to be exact. After a teary good bye, you left for good - it was time to shine at Barcelona.

Your talent was magical, you could score from every angle, no matter the position and the fans loved you.

You had been nominated for numerous awards, won many of them yet still you were the kindest person. You always made time for the fans, signed jerseys, took photos and chatted with them. You were down-to-earth.

Of course you had haters, people not liking your volatility but you didn‘t care. You had a mission and would continue it, no matter if you had no fan at all or a the whole woso community behind you. So while your job was to score goals, you only had one goal in mind.

You loved the Spanish weather, you loved the City, you loved the girls. They made Barcelona your home and more than that. Playing alongside Alexia, Mapi, CGH, Aitana and literally every one on the squad was amazing. It was the way they played and the mentality they had that fascinated you.

The first season at Barcelona was the season you won the Ballon D‘or, while still being so young. The combination of the playing style that you learned in the individual clubs in each country also made you Fifas the best. You were the best.

On the pitch, every opponent was afraid of you while off pitch they adored you. It broke your heart to leave Barcelona, the City you adored. So why did you leave? It was the thing you had to do. The thing you promised yourself at the age of 16 when you left Bayern - Arsenal would be your last stop ever. The thing you promised someone. Your retirement club, you would stay there forever - as long as they offered you a contract.

-

While everybody had greeted you with open arms at your arrival, the skipper kept her distance, only talking to you when necessary. Leah was skeptical to say at least, some things bothered her about you. She didn‘t appreciate your transfers nor respected them. Every country? Really? Why Arsenal? Her childhood club? How long did you want to play here before you stab the team in the back? When another country became interesting? Maybe the US? Sweden?

And then the tape. The strip of tape on your shoulder, it didn‘t make any sense to her. It didn‘t seem like you had problems with your shoulder nor an injury in the last few years (which she had obviously checked) so why the tape? She - well actually everyone, never saw you without. When it slowly started to look rancid, the next second it looked like new again. When you changed, even in the shower after playing it was always there. Were you hiding something?

Leah didn‘t like you, it was clear as the day but (even if she would never admit it out loud) you were a fantastic footballer. Your feet could do magic with the ball, from assisting to scoring to defending, everything you did on the pitch was faboulous. That, she had to appreciate, maybe you would help Arsenal to win the league.

This season. who knows how long you‘ll stay.

-

After your first month with the gunners, you knew for sure, your heart and brain realized it for the first time: after years, you had finally fulfilled your promise.

You felt peace, nothing more. Maybe you could forgive yourself someday.

-

Over time, Leah‘s dislike towards you turned into much more - hate. When you were near the blonde, she would glare at you or leave the room,

the moments you tried to talk to her, to get to know her, she ignored you and

she would rudely comment on the things you said.

After months of trying, you just stopped. If she doesn‘t want to talk to you that‘s okay. You didn’t have to be friends - colleagues, that‘s it.

-

"When I visited Greece-" you started to tell Lia about the beauty of the country when her work wife cut you off, "wow, Y/L/N, a country you didn‘t play in, really respectable" Leah spat, rolling her eyes. Lia smacked the back of her head, her behavior unbelievable.

It was no secret that the defender felt some sort of dislike towards you - noticeable for your team mates and especially for the swiss as she knew Leah like the back of her hand.

"Ignore her" the midfielder stated, asking you to continue your story.

"It‘s fine" not in the mood to tell the end of your Greece-story, you left the two LW‘s joining Vic as she juggled with the ball.

"You really need to stop that" the swiss international grumbled, "she‘s actually really nice"

"And her loyalty sucks! I won’t let her ruin this club"

The brunette watched the blonde march away, arms crossed.

-

Leah‘s behavior continued like that, rude comments sent your way, cut off mid sentence and ignorance accompanied you every single day. But your mindset was clear: you couldn’t be bothered by her.

You understood that Leah was skeptical of you, you‘re new and played for several clubs but on the pitch you played your absolute best each game. You deserved at least some respect.

-

"Where‘s hopper?" Leah asked - you’re never late. Her new nickname for you showed her antipathy towards you yet hiding it well enough, so other people outside of the team wouldn’t get suspicious.

"She‘s on her way home for a few days" Lia replied calmly, not wanting the blonde to explode.

You had texted Lia about your plans earlier this morning - she was your friend after all. Just because she was great friends with Leah, didn‘t mean you couldn’t be friends with her too. Like I said, you were friends with the whole team, just not with Leah. Besides you enjoyed talking to Wally as it was in your mother tongue, conversation flowing with an ease.

"What the fuck?! She does know we‘re playing a derby this weekend!" The England captain growled, marching out of the changing room, already calling you. Who do you think you were?

Her calls went straight to voicemail which only angered and frustrated her more. why were you so infuriating?

The defender was quick to approach to Jonas - what was the thinking letting you leave? Did he even know about this?

"Why did you let her leave?!" the woman asked loudly and harshly. You made her blood boil. "Is she playing on Saturday? You should kick her out of the squad! This behavior is unacceptable" she scolded.

Even though Leah knew the team would need you, she was too caught up in her anger.

"Who are you talking about?" the coach asked rather confused. Was he missing something?

"Your new signing" she huffed out frustrated, how can he be this clueless?

"She‘s not here. Apparently at home in Germany, did you know about this?"

"Oh! Yes, I know about this. It‘s in her contract"

"What do you mean? In her contract?"

"She‘s allowed to leave, no matter what day, at-" he looked at his watch, checking the date, "at the 20th of March for three days. One day to get there, one day to stay, one day to leave" he explained.

"Why?"

"I can’t tell you that"

-

On game day, you arrived on time at the stadium, your favourite defender already impatiently waiting for you in the locker room. When you entered the room, she was about to stomp over, telling you how your behavior was unacceptable and jeopardizing the team but something told her not to. Your shoulders were sagged, your eyes red and puffy as you had bags under them ad well - it looked like you had been crying for awhile and not sleeping either. You looked small and sad, but not the sadness-sad, somehow it looked like grieving-sad or guilty-sad. Leah didn't know if her analysis was correct, after all, she didn't know you as you weren’t friends - not even close to that - and to the others it seemed like you were your usual self.

As you walked past her to get to your cubby, she grabbed your hand. "Are you okay?" she asked, genuinely concerned about your well-being. Her stone cold persona towards you was gone for the moment, eyes scanning your face - what was wrong? How can she help you?

"I‘m fine, Leah"

Her hand had a firm grip on yours yet it was so gentle and soft - it was almost like you could feel her 'caring' about you.

But you knew, she only cared about the team and not about you.

"Thank you for asking, though" you smiled a bit, before leaving her touch and walking over to your cubby.

You didn't want to be rude to her because it seemed like she was dead serious about her question. Besides, if you wanted to have at least a somewhat normal work-relationship with her, this might was a step in the right direction.

However, you had to admit, the feeling of her holding your hand was quite nice and made you hope for eventually being friends one day.

-

The game started with you on the bench as agreed with Jonas. It was his decision if he wanted to put you in or not and you respected either way. You were thankful enough that he had shown so much understanding about your family situation, so you wouldn’t be the one to complain about not playing.

Next to you on the bench sat the one and only Leah Williamson, who watched the game very carefully, attentively and critically - the same as you did. In your heads, the two of you analyzed what happened on the field, every bad pass, every unused space or loss of the ball was noted while you tried to come up with solutions. While Leah stated her analysis to everyone at half time, you talked to the relevant person what they should pay particular attention to - most opponents had the same playing style, even if the tactics were changed. Overall, it wasn't the played game in general that mattered, but rather the individual players on the field. If you watched them long enough, it wasn't too difficult to outplay them and their team - Leah and you knew that.

Both of you got subbed on in the 74th minute, the defender doing her job brilliantly while you ran down the wing. The game seemed like it had shifted as soon as the two of you took in your positions. Chances were created, space was used, passed connected perfectly - in all honestly, Tottenham didn‘t have any control over the match anymore, thanks to Leah and your critical eyes.

The score changed when Leah sent a ball flying towards you. With one quick motion, you dribbled around the defender, firing a shot on goal - Tottenhams goalkeeper stood no chance.

That evening a special chemistry was born between your favourite defender and her favourite hopper.

-

If you were hoping that the 'how are you' question meant something, you were wrong.

Her arrogant attitude got worse, as did her mean behavior towards you. You thought that maybe, just maybe, the link up on the pitch earned you enough respect that she at least refrains from commenting. Yet she questioned everything you did and not only that: you were regularly asked whether you would leave the club at the end of the season or whether you would leave one season after that. At this point you felt helpless, you didn’t know what her problem was with you - she seemed like a nice person towards everyone else.

"Come on, Leah, leave me alone" you grumbled as she stood next to you in the locker room with her arms crossed. Especially today she was getting on your last nerve. You hadn‘t slept well the last few days and the bickering was getting more and more exhausting.

"You weren‘t concentrated today" she stated, "this isn‘t acceptable at Arsenal."

"Leah-" Wally tried to stop her but there was no chance. She wouldn’t hold back.

"No, she has to know. She‘s played at enough clubs to know that she has to give 100%!"

"As if you haven‘t had a bad day before"

"I can keep things professional"

"No you can‘t! If you could, you would leave me the fuck alone. You are all judgy but never played somewhere else than Arsenal, so get a fucking grip. At least I have the experience of other leagues"

The whole changing room gasped, Katie smirking, happy that you stood your ground. Leah’s behavior was ridiculous. And this time she took it too far.

On an emotional level, your week had been absolutely shitty.

It‘s like a haunted house, only you‘re the ghost.

On an physical level, you were exhausted.

So, neither emotionally nor physically you could deal with her at the moment.

"Watch your mouth-" the defender started before you cut her off.

"No, you will watch yours" your pointer finger angrily poked her chest, "Listen to me closely, I will not repeat myself. You, Leah Williamson, will stay away from me. I‘m not your friend, I’m not your mate, I’m your colleague, so treat me with damn respect" with that you grabbed your stuff and left.

Leah was breathing heavily, your anger awfully attractive.

"Why are you being like this?" McCabe asked, the girls in the room waiting for an answer. This couldn’t be just because you played for several clubs and she was questioning your loyalty - there had to be more.

"Because she‘s hiding something! I won‘t let her ruin this club" she growled, sitting down in her cubby.

"What should she be hiding?" Steph questioned, you seemed like an honest and truthful person.

"She literally left for three days out of nowhere!"

"She did that when we played at Barca together too" Laia added. She had never thought about that before. But Leah was right, it was unusual to not show up at training when you weren‘t injured or sick, especially since it was in the middle of the season.

"See!"

"I still don’t see the problem" Steph shrugged her shoulders, "she‘s a lovely person and you would know that if you gave her the chance to show it" with that the Australian left. You were such a lovely girl, at least someone had to defend you. Partly, Steph could understand where Leah was coming from - that girl was bleeding Arsenal red.

After Steph had left, the other girls started to leave too, Leah and Kim the only ones left.

Leah was sorting through her bag, checking if she had everything she needed when Kim broke the silence, "Her brother died when she was 16. The 21st of March is the day of his death"

Leah stopped her movements, "what?" she turned around, the colour leaving her face.

"That’s all I know"

Kim grabbed her bag, walking past the blonde, about to leave, "I’m disappointed in you, Leah. We're a family here, and you didn't show her that. Have you ever thought about why she played in every league? You’re criticizing but not questioning. You doubt her loyalty, but she hasn't transferred within the league - doesn't that show her respect for the club she‘s played at?"

"Kim-"

"Have a nice evening"

Alone in the changing room, Leah tried to process the information, now it made sense that you were at home for a few days. It was his anniversary.

She had been a complete ass to you without knowing your story - she still didn't. However, for the first time she felt something like interest. She wanted to get to know you. She wanted to know your story. But most of all she wanted to apologize. You seemed like a sweet girl.

Of course, most of her questions were still unanswered: the tape? Why did you transfer so much? You‘re young.. but for the first time she didn't care. She fucked up and was determined to start over.

I‘m disappointed in you, Leah.

-

At home, the defender sat on her couch, eating some food while the tv was showing her favourite show. This wasn’t right. She couldn’t wait till tomorrow. She had to talk to. Now.

Leaving her food on the table, the blonde called Lia, asking where you lived. The Swiss was hesitant to tell her as she wanted to protect you but Leah sounded genuinely upset about her own behavior.

"Please.. I- I‘m in the wrong here, I know that now. I don‘t want her to go to bed angry or feeling like she‘s not a part of the Arsenal family."

After that, the Swiss texted your address, the England captain already on her way.

When she arrived at her destination, she felt nervous. She rang the bell, hoping you wouldn’t open. She wasn‘t prepared at all - she didn’t know what to say or how to make things up with you.

In that moment, she realized maybe it was a hasty decision to just show up in front of your door and apologize. It wouldn’t be deserved to accept the apology straightaway.

"Leah?" you said surprised.

"Hopper" it was almost inaudible as you had knocked the air out of her lungs. You looked breathtaking. No, it wasn‘t something fancy - you wore an oversized shirt and some shorts while your hair was down but you looked naturally beautiful.

"What are you doing here? I told you to leave me alone"

"I- um.. I came to apologize?"

"Are you asking me that?"

"I came to apologize"

"Go home, Leah-"

"Give me a chance-"

"No. Look, I don’t know why you are here or what your problem is but I don‘t want to play your sick games" you stepped back, closing the door, leaving the defender dumbfounded in front of your home.

"I know about you brother!" she called, helpless on what do to. But as soon as the word 'brother' left her mouth, she regretted it.

The door was thrown open, "what did you just say?!" you were angrier than ever. Your family had always been a sensitive subject.

"I know about your brother" the audacity Leah had to repeat her words was unbelievable.

She squeezed herself inside, looking around.

"I swear to god, if you don‘t leave-"

"I‘m really sorry" she turned around, you didn‘t know if she was talking about your brother or how she had treated you and neither did she. Either way, it made you furios, you were balling your hands into fists, trying to stay calm.

"Is that him?" she asked, walking to the picture frame on your shelf, "what‘s his name?"

It was a picture of the two of you as kids, both of you wearing Germany jerseys as you grinned in the camera - one of your favourite pictures.

And that made you explode. How dare she come to your home, implying to apologize which she wasn‘t and then act nosy.

You marched over, grabbing her at the collar of her shirt and pushing her against the wall, "leave me alone" you weren’t shouting but you voice was loud, clear and firm, almost intimidating.

Her breath hitched, "I can‘t" you were so close to her. She could see all tiny freckles, those which only appeared when you were in the sun. She was intrigued by you. Her eyes darted around your features, the wrinkle between your brows slowly disappearing.

You didn‘t know what came over you, but in less than a second, you smashed your lips against hers. Teeth were clashing, all anger and frustration purred in, hands gripping and pulling as both of your minds went blank. Neither of you could think about anything else but each other.

-

The day she stood in front of your apartment, wasn’t brought up again yet you had to admit something shifted in your dynamic that night.

The chemistry you had on the pitch only grew, Leah assisted while you scored countless of goals.

Her behavior wasn‘t as bad as before anymore, she started to greet you, say good bye or other acts of kindness yet every once in a while a snarky comments left her mouth.

After Arsenal had won the conti cup against Chelsea, the celebrations were on the rise when you entered the club. You saw some girls dancing around, some lingering at the bar and others sitting at the table.

You joined the girls at the table, sitting down next to Stina. Lost in conversation with the Swede you didn‘t notice a blonde defender standing right behind you with her arms crossed and a pout on her face, "you‘re sitting on my seat, hopper" she grumbled, the pout increasing.

"Sit somewhere else" you replied, not looking up as you continued your conversation which had been rudely cut off by the English woman.

"There is no seat left"

This time you turned around, looking up from your seat as the defender glared at you.

It was the first time, you had seen her tonight and she looked absolutely gorgeous with the outfit she was wearing.

"I think you‘re old enough to deal with that, aren‘t you?" you smiled sarcastically at her, once again turning to Stina.

"I am" she stated, a smug smile plastered on her face. With the alcohol in her system, she simply sat on your lap, one arm going around your shoulders while she started her own conversation. Weirdly confused but somehow not minding, you let her be, your arms going around her waist to support her. No one said anything about, most of them not realizing what was happening or simply not caring - as long as you weren‘t fighting everything seemed fine.

The night continued like that, chatting, dancing and enjoying the time.

"Could you let me get up, please? I‘d like to have another drink" you asked the defender who immediately got up, "can you bring one for me too?"

"Sure"

She smiled shyly before you left, sitting back down, Lia looking at her with a 'tell me right now what‘s going on' expression.

"What?"

"Seriously? What‘s going on between the two of you?" the Swiss asked, Leah‘s eyes already back on you as you stood at the bar, ordering.

"Nothing"

The defender’s brows furrowed when a man approached you, standing way too close to you, her jaw clenching.

She saw you taking a step to the side, intending to signal the man that you were not interested. In responds, he only stepped closer.

Angrily, the blonde stood up, marching over, "is everything alright here?" her hands settled on your waist, pulling you protectively towards her.

"Everything‘s alright, mate" the man slurred, stepping forward, "I’m just getting to know your friend."

Leah was quick to step in front of you, her hand holding onto you to know you‘re safe, "leave my girlfriend alone or I will break your nose" she threatened.

The man held his hands in surrender before he left.

In an instant, she turned around, cupping your cheeks, checking if you were alright.

"I‘m okay" you stated. What just happened? Girlfriend? Weird man? Break his nose? Girlfriend?

"Here‘s your drink"

She took her drink, resting her hand on the small of your back, guiding you back to the table.

What‘s just happened?

Lia was the only one left at the table while the others had joined the dancers. You were about to sit down on an empty chair when the blonde pulled you on her lap - roles reversed.

Raising an brow, "There are enough empty seats this time"

"I don’t care, hopper"

"I‘ll join the rest on the dancing floor" Wally said, winking at Leah whose cheeks turned red.

"You‘re so beautiful, you know" the England captain said, cheeks turning a deeper shade of red.

"How many drinks did you have?" you giggled, your fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns along the back of neck. "Not enough to punch that guy" she growled.

You laughed, "you‘re cute when you‘re jealous" not so sober yourself.

She squeezed your hips in responds, resting her head on your shoulder.

Both of you enjoyed the silence that came over you, also enjoying the closeness you shared in that moment. Leah wasn‘t forgiven and she knew that yet she couldn’t stay away from you. Somehow you were addicting.

For once, it was nice not to argue with the blonde but to enjoy her company. She was cute, you couldn’t lie.

"I‘m very sorry for my behavior" she whispered, "I’d like to start over again" you turned towards her, eyes locking, "I’m not asking for your forgiveness, just for a chance to show you that I’m not an awful person. You are a part of the Arsenal family and I’m sorry for treating you otherwise"

You let her words sink in. She was right, she couldn’t ask for your forgiveness because too much had happened already but starting over seemed like an opportunity for the both of you.

"I’m Y/N"

-

The next weeks, Leah was the sweetest person to you. Each morning, she greeted you with the widest smile and when she left the facility, she always made sure to tell you good bye. She treated you with respect and listened to everything you had to say. She was amazed by the stuff you had to say. She couldn’t care less if it was something as simple as your favourite colour or an opinion on something. Everything you said was important to her.

Soon the small talks turned into longer conversations until they were endless.

In matches, when somebody fouled you Leah was the first to stick up for you, arguing with the opponent before she argued with the ref (of course after she had made sure you were okay.)

Slowly but surely, Leah earned your trust and appreciation.

She wasn‘t just anybody - she was Leah Williamson and once she had set her mind, you couldn’t stop her from doing it.

She wasn‘t the Leah you had met at your arrival - she changed for good. She was much more. She was funny, loving and caring, attentive and respectful - she was actually an amazing woman and your friend.

-

Standing in the kitchen of Leah’s apartment, you made dinner for the both of you while she sat on the counter watching you and eating the ingredients.

The atmosphere was tranquil and relaxed as music filled the background.

Peace.

"His name‘s Sebastian" you turned around, grabbing another ingredient out of the fridge while you avoided Leah‘s eyes, painful stings in your heart. You wouldn‘t cry, not now. "He‘s three years older than me" you inhaled sharply, trying to compose yourself as you continued to cook. "You would have loved him, he was a big Arsenal fan, watched every match" you chuckled, "but was the worst player of all time. He never really was a sports guy anyway, he was rather the calm type of person. He loved to cook - that‘s actually one of his favourite recipes" you nodded your head towards the food splayed out on the counter.

The dish you were making had brought you so much comfort after his death. It felt familiar. Sometimes, you imagined him standing in the kitchen, so concentrated that his brows would furrow as he cut the vegetables or when he seasoned - never a drop too much. He was very particular when it came to cooking, but rightly so, because when he did it, it always tasted absolutely perfect.

"He used to be my best friend"

Your heart broke into pieces saying it out loud. He wasn‘t just anybody - he was your brother, the only man you ever loved and him more than anyone.

The two of you had a special bond, you basically owed him your entire career. Because it was him who kicked the ball around with you for hours,

because it was him who drove with you to training when your parents had to work,

because it was him who always watched your matches,

because it was him who always believed in you, even when you were on the verge of giving up.

He was your biggest supporter, the person who believed you could be the best footballer in the world one day and the one person who made sure that you had a life outside of football.

And even though you would have never shared your charger with him, you would have given him your lungs, so he could breathe.

"What happened to him?" Leah asked, her voice gentle, testing the waters if it was okay to ask or too much.

"When-" you closed your eyes, holding back the tears that were about to fall, "I was at a birthday party. At some point during the night I asked him to pick me up because I wasn't feeling well. He did it without hesitation. On the way home we- we got hit by a car and crashed into a tree. Both of us were conscious but he was coughing and bleeding very badly. It looked very bad. I prayed to every god I knew that they should take me and not him- they didn‘t listen" tears were streaming down your face as you aggressively cut the remaining vegetables, "his last words were 'make me proud' and i remember shouting at him but it was too late. I told him I loved him- he took his last breath with a smile on his face"

Silence filled the room, small sniffles the only thing being heard. You grabbed a tissue, blowing your nose and another one to dry your tears, "I am- was blaming myself for what happened, so I left home as soon as I could"

Leah was listening carefully, her heart aching seeing you in pain and the pain you had been through.

"I always complained about others leagues, because they seemed so easy and everything" you chuckled at the memory, "and he always was like 'you can‘t complain if you haven‘t played there'" mocking him, the most german accent in your voice, "so that’s what I did. I have played in several leagues but I always knew Arsenal would be my last stop"

Everything made sense now, Leah‘s heart broke even more, realizing what an absolute ass she was while you only had one goal in mind - to make him proud.

It was never your plan to ruin Arsenal, you wanted to stay there to fulfill the promise you had made in the night that changed your life.

-

Leah saw you with different eyes now, her heart was beating for you in more than one way. She admired you - for the way you play, how strong you are and how hard life had been for you yet still smiling throughout it.

She had to protect the ray of sunshine and the feisty beast you could be. You weren‘t just anybody - you were Y/N Y/L/N, the best footballer in the world.

The defender was a 100% sure, your brother would be more than proud of you and the woman you became.

But she also knew what she had to do. You deserved an apology, even more than that - you deserved every good thing in the world. And if she could she would take all your pain away.

-

It was in the middle of the night, all lights turned off besides in the kitchen of the blonde defender. She sat at the kitchen table, one sheet of paper and a fountain pen in front of her.

Dear Sebastian,

I’m Leah, Leah Williamson.

I've been playing for Arsenal my whole life. I've had my best and worst moments at the club. All of my best moments had to do with my team, my friends, my family, whereas my worst moments had something to do with my performance or injuries. Unfortunately, because of my loyalty and love for the club, I was blinded from seeing the important things - your sister. I never understood why she had transferred so often - it seemed like she was volatile and didn't understand loyalty and love. But she does - she does that more than anyone else.

Her loyalty was only ever dedicated to you.

She is an incredible person and I’m so sorry for the way i treated her at her arrival (I will tell her that, this time when I’m fully sober and explain everything). But I’m writing you to tell you that I like your sister, more than I ever thought I would. To be honest, that‘s the first time I’m admitting it to someone, I didn‘t even admit it fully to myself - but I do. I like her. And I guess, this is me asking for your blessing.

A blessing that I can treat her right if she lets me,

a blessing that I can always support her,

a blessing for one chance with her.

I know, there is much too make up for and my behavior will never be excused - no apology could be strong enough for what I have done - but I want you to know that I will regret it till the rest of my life.

So while you may be her biggest fan from paradise, I want to be her biggest fan from earth.

I promise to do everything in my power to be the best person she deserves.

Sincerely,

Leah Williamson

With a lighter in her pocket and the letter in her hand, she went outside on the balcony. The night was chill and quiet, the perfect atmosphere as the moon shone brightly. Her nerves were calming down and her mind seemed to find rest as she looked up in the sky, "one chance" she whispered, burning the letter. She watched the ink and paper slowly disappear, the smoke rising into the night sky. She knew it was unrealistic to expect any sign of positive responds but was it wrong to hope? When the letter was fully burned, she waited till the smoke was completely gone before she went back inside, turning off the kitchen light and making her way to bed.

When the blonde woke up the next day, she made her way to kitchen immediately, needing her morning tea. She frowned and froze.

"Hello?" she called.

No response.

She had turned off the light last night, didn‘t she?

She sure did!

Was this her sign? Was this the sign that the letter arrived?

It was his blessing.

-

"Hey" the blonde greeted you with a wide smile when you entered the changing room.

Matching her smile, "good morning" you walked to your cubby.

"What are you doing tonight?" she followed you, the smile not leaving her features. Someone woke up in a good mood, you thought.

"Going home, eating, then sleeping" you replied.

"Do you want to watch the Arsenals men game tonight? With me?"

"Are you nervous?" you asked, the defender fidgeting with her fingers as her cheeks were slowly turning red, "I’d love to watch the match with you."

And if you thought her smile couldn’t have gotten wider, you were wrong - the smile she sent you was from ear to ear.

"Perfect" with excitement in her body, she pressed a peck to your cheek before she happily skipped out of the room, the other girls watching the interaction that just happened closely.

"Are you blushing?" Katie laughed loudly as you embarrassingly turned to your bag, in fact blushing.

-

Half an hour before kick-off you rang Leah‘s doorbell, takeout in your hands. You weren‘t in the mood for cooking and Leah‘s cooking skill were eh, e for effort?, also you had been craving Chinese all day long, so that‘s what you got.

"I brought food with me!" you grinned, pushing yourself inside as soon as the blonde had opened the door.

"What did I do to deserve this?" she asked chuckling at your eagerness as you walked in her kitchen to get some plates and cutlery.

Cheekily, you replied "Nothing, I was just hungry"

Serving the food on the plates, you sat down at the table with Leah, comfortable silence filling the air while the two of you ate dinner.

Something was bothering Leah though, you could tell. Every now and then it seemed like she wanted to say something yet she closed her mouth quickly after.

"I‘m sorry for my behavior" she mumbled, "when you arrived at Arsenal, I mean" you looked up from your plate, meeting her eyes for a brief second, "I was skeptical about your loyalty and it got out of hand" carefully she laid her hand on yours, hoping you wouldn’t pull away.

You didn‘t - you wanted to hear what she had to say.

"I‘m really sorry and I know we started over, but I need you to know how sorry I am, this time without any drink in my system. You’re the most loyal person I know, I just didn‘t notice it"

"Leah" you said gently, "look at me, please"

The defender raised her head, looking at you with unsure eyes, rapidly tapping her foot under the table.

"Thank you for telling me. I guess I would have been skeptical too if I had played for the gunners my whole life" you told her, "I’m not excusing your behavior because it wasn‘t nice or appropriate but I don‘t have any bad blood against you either. In fact, I enjoy your company" you pulled her hand from hers, only to put it against her side profile, softly caressing the apple of her cheek.

Subconsciously, she leaned into your touch, "I‘m very sorry"

"I know"

The unspoken 'why' barrier was finally removed.

-

"Arsenal will win, I can feel it!" the defender stated, flopping down on the couch. With a bowl of popcorn in your hand, you sat down next to her, somehow your thighs touching even though the couch was big enough. "Liverpool is a tough opponent"

"Oh stop it! None of that"

Making herself comfortable on the couch, she turned on the tv, ready to see Arsenal win.

Getting comfortable yourself, you pulled your legs on the couch, leaning towards the armrest on the other side which earned you a glare, "what do think you‘re doing?"

"Oh, sorry" in an instant your feet were on the ground.

"No, what are you doing over there? Come here" she nodded to the space between her legs, signaling you to cuddle her.

With red cheeks and a racing heart, you crawled over, settling between her legs as your body melted into hers, head resting on her chest while her arms wrapped around you.

Leah was sure you could hear her racing heart and even though she desperately tried to concentrate on the match, she just couldn’t. With you in her arms, she wouldn’t ever want to think about anything else. You looked so precious in her arms, eyes fully focused on the tv.

"You are so beautiful" she admired, looking at you with heart eyes.

"What?"

You prompted yourself up, looking at the blonde who was smiling dazedly at you, "you are just so gorgeous" her fingers started to play with your hair as she got lost in your eyes, "let me take you on a date"

It was crazy how the mood had changed - from apologies at dinner to cuddling on the couch to asking you out.

"Okay" you smiled shyly, cheeks crimson red as your skin tingled.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah"

You stared at each other, eyes shining with adoration and passion, both of you slowly leaning in.

When your lips met, the world seemed to stop spinning, fireworks exploding as you melted into each other and Arsenal getting themselves on the scoreboard. She kissed you so gentle and tender - the complete opposite of the kiss you had shared before.

Everything was perfect.

-

After many many dates, the blonde asked you to be her girlfriend. None of your friends surprised at this point - you had always been obsessed with each other.

The two of you had been caught kissing several times, not even trying to hide it. Leah loved kissing you but she also loved physical touch in general, always holding your hand, having her arm around your midsection or her hand on your thigh while driving. She couldn’t get enough of you.

-

"Come to bed" the blonde whined, waiting for you to join her under the covers. Weirdly, neither of you could sleep good at night without being in each others embrace, so it became your routine - either Leah would sleep at your home or the other way around - this night you were at Leah‘s, and obviously you had stolen a shirt from her wardrobe as your pajamas - which she liked very much. You looked so cute in her clothes.

When you joined her, her arms were immediately wrapped around your body as she pulled you close, pressing a good night kiss on your temple.

The next morning, you woke up with hair in your face and a head resting on your chest, the blonde defender still peacefully asleep. You stayed like that for awhile, your hand gently rubbing her back before you slipped out of bed, ready to make some breakfast and your much needed coffee.

Since it was the weekend and your day off, you decided to surprise the England captain with some self made pancakes - you knew she loved them.

While Leah woke up due the feeling of your absence which turned out to be correct, something she didn‘t like. Sleeping without you was awful already but waking up without you? absolutely horrible.

Grumpily, she made her way out of the bedroom, the smell of pancakes hitting her nostrils, lightening her mood in an instant. Following the smell, she found you in the kitchen, only wearing a sports bra and some of her old Arsenal shorts - you looked cute - booping your head to the non existing music, no doubt that you were humming some song. Silently, the defender walked up behind you, her arms smacking around your stomach, "gosh, you scared me!"

"Sorry, baby" apologetic, she pressed multiple kisses on the side of your neck, fingers tracing along your sides.

You inhaled sharply when she traced along the stripe of tape on your shoulder, she had never brought it up before, respecting whatever story was behind it.

"You- you can take it off" you whispered breathlessly, anxiety and fear creeping through your body.

"Are you sure?" her lips kissed the other side of your shoulder, trying to calm you down and ease your mind.

"Yes, just- be careful, please"

and that’s exactly what she was. All of her moves were gentle and careful - you weren’t afraid that it would hurt pulling the tape off but the story behind it.

After the tape was ripped off a big scar was displayed on your shoulder, "it‘s from the car crash" you said, pain shooting through the healed wound. It wasn‘t an injury pain rather the type of phantom pain - suddenly you were back in the car.

"It‘s a constant reminder of what had happened - something that‘s my fault" you admitted, fighting the tears, "I started to cover it up but make up didn‘t work, so the physio at Ajax taped it. And since that day, I do it all the time"

Leah‘s heart broke at the vulnerability she was seeing, your posture seemingly weak and exposed.

"Is this okay?" Her pointer finger traced over the scar..

"Yeah"

..not in a way that made you uncomfortable but in a way that made you feel like you didn’t have to be ashamed of it.

"What about this?" for a moment you didn‘t feel her touch at all before she pressed featherlight kisses over your scar.

"yes"

Tears were streaming down your face, all of your walls broken down now, Leah made you feel perfect the way you are - because you are.

"I‘m proud of you"

Everything came crashing down, a sob escaped your throat and within a second, you were in your girlfriends arms, crying into her shoulder. The tears that you had not allowed to shed in previous years, fell all at once now.

The England captain hugged you through it all, letting you cry as long as you needed - she wouldn‘t go anywhere.

She had promised your brother to do everything in her power to be the best person you deserve and that‘s what she did, does and will do.

She kept her promise and you did too.

Arsenal was always half but never whole, Leah‘s begun to feel like home.

[sordezos]

What do ya'll want next??

#barca femeni #woso community

[sordezos]

snuggles, cuddles and struggles

summary: aitana is a touchy person. she particularly likes to touch you. you have a crush and don't know how to deal with it. neither do your teammates.

the first time it happened, it took you by surprise. it wasn't that much of a big deal really, you and your team were on the bus back to the hotel after a match and you were all pretty exhausted. but when aitana lays her head on your shoulder and starts to doze off, there's a little nervous flutter that settles in your chest.

you knew aitana was not afraid to show affection, often clinging herself to keira or Ingrid but that wasn't the same situation for you. you could be affectionate with those you were close to, but often withheld being too touchy in fear of making others uncomfortable. 

this particular situation, however, was even more stressful to you as it had to do with aitana. the crush you had on the brunette was now holding you hostage, making you conscious of your every move or breath to not risk waking her up. what if aitana got uncomfortable, what if your shoulder was too bony, what if you forgot to put on deodorant after the quick shower? 

you looked over and aitana was breathing peacefully, eyes closed and asleep. you took a deep breath and pushed your unpleasant thoughts away, however you did not move an inch the whole ride back.

–

slowly but surely, you got used to having aitana attach herself to you. not too long after the bus nap on your shoulder, the girl was right at your side whenever it got too cold, holding on to your arm and pressing her cheek onto your shoulder to try and keep herself warm. she would grab your hand any time you were walking ahead of her to catch up with you. but the worst part was the nights out.

one night the whole team decided to go out for a very much needed break and within no time, drinks were being passed around the table you were all on. 

after a little while, some were on the dance floor and others by the bar just chatting. you were sat by the table, laughing with claudia and patri as you watched ingrid scolding mapi for jumping too much when she's still recovering from her latest injury, when suddenly a body drops on your lap.

"phew! it's too hot in here!" aitana huffed as she wrapped one arm around your neck and the other fanned her hand towards her face to cool down a bit. she was sitting sideways on your lap, without seemingly any care in the world while you just looked stunned. 

your ears quickly caught notice of the giggles coming from patri and claudia's way. you sent them a glare and gulped down the rest of your drink so you could feel a little more confident. you already had a little buzz going on so you tentatively put one of your hands on aitana's thigh and the other on her hip. this must have seemed like an invitation considering that it made aitana wrap both arms around your neck and wiggle on your lap to get closer to you.

"i'm tired." she groaned. you let out a small laugh and tapped her thigh, "well, when you're running around a field for 90 minutes and then dance throughout the night, i think it's bound to make you tired." aitana frowned at you, "but i have a lot of stamina." 

"why don't you go home and show her some of that stamina, chica?" patri shouted across the table, laughter in her voice. your eyes shoot daggers at the mallorquina whereas aitana looked confused. "qué?" aitana shouts back, clearly clueless of patri's suggestion. "don't mind her." you rolled your eyes and with some alcohol induced confidence, you grabbed aitana's jaw to turn her head back to you.

she was the one to look surprised now, eyes flickering to your lips and back to your eyes in a second. once you realized the position you had put yourself in, you tried to brush it off by gently shaking her head and letting go of her jaw, "by now you should know some of our teammates aren't the brightest. you smirked as patri's "hey!" can be heard. but aitana continued looking at you, seemingly breathless as what seemed like realization came across her face.

aitana cleared her throat and stood up "i should go home." she said, grabbing her purse in an haste. "but you were drinki-" you're cutt off as aitana quickly states that ingrid and mapi are leaving and will take her. you watched her leave with a confused look and slightly anxious you went too far.

–

after that night, aitana appeared to back off her touching completely. well, off of you. now she went to keira to warm herself up or laid her head on ona's shoulder when she was tired. speaking to you also appeared to be a hard effort on her part and every time she would walk past you in the changing room without even a glance, you would sink back down on your cubbie like a kicked puppy. 

lucy had noticed both of your changes in behaviour, aitana's withdrawal and your yearning looks from afar. well, that last one had always been there but now it was just sad to watch. she sat down next to you and put her arm around your shoulders, "what's up, kid?" she asked, concerned. "nothing, grandma, what's up with you?" you shifted your gaze from aitana to lucy, an amused smile slowly forming on your face. lucy's worried look rapidly changed into a gloomy one, "ha ha, you're so funny. did i ever tell you you could be a comedian?" she said, sarcasm rolling off of her tongue as she pushed your shoulder. you giggled, "yes, you have. is your memory declining that fast?". she mocked your phrase, "iS yOuR MemOrY dEcLin– shut up." you gave her an innocent smile and a quick hug, "oh forgive me please, great lucy bronze." she rolled her eyes but eventually caved and dropped the grumpy face, "you coming out with us tonight?" "umm, i don't know, i–"

"she is!" pina pointed at you both. her loud tone drew some attention from the other girls, including aitana, who looked at you probably for the first time that day but quickly drew her gaze away. you noticed this, which brought back that weird rejection feeling in your chest even if you had nothing to be rejected about. 

"hey." lucy brought your attention back to her, "i think it will be good for you to come with us, okay? have a little fun, distract a little and if you want to, you can annoy me all night." she looked at you with a charming grin, pretty persuasive really. that managed to crack a smile out of you and you nodded, "deal."

–

you intended on getting absolutely smashed tonight. if aitana didn't want to talk to you or even interact with you anymore it's because you must've done something, right? you went too far or said something that weirded her out and now your friendship was ruined. so you were going to drink it out and try to forget all about it. 

you were about to begin your night's mission when patri walked over to you at the bar, "hey! i need a favour!" she shouted over the loud music. you looked at her, and waved off the bartender, "what is it?" you asked. she pointed in the direction of the bathroom, "can you go check if i left my purse in the toilet? i've been trying to find it everywhere, i'm gonna go check on one of the other rooms now so can you do me this favour, pleeease?" she begged, trying her best to look desperate.

to be fair, you knew that she would insist even if you refused so it didn't take much convincing for you to nod and walk over to the bathroom. 

when you got in, however, you realized why patri had "assigned" you the bathroom to look for her "lost" purse.

aitana was standing by the sink when she realized you walked in. her eyes went wide for a second, probably startled to see you and proceeded to wipe her hands and make her way to the door.

"no." you stood by the door, blocking her way out. you don't know where this new-found confidence came from, maybe the adrenaline of being alone with aitana, or the pent up frustration and yearning that she caused over the last few weeks but you were glad it was here, and you were gonna ride it out for as long as you could. "why have you been ignoring me?" you asked, your eyes fixed on aitana's.

"i haven't been ignoring you." 

"you have."

"i haven–"

"aita, stop." she opened and immediately closed her mouth. "tell me please whatever i did wrong. i promise you that if i just knew, i'd take it back. I'd take back whatever i did a million times if it meant you got to talk to me again." you rambled on, no filter whatsoever.

"you did nothing wrong." she answered quietly. "then why did you ice me out? you don't talk to me, you barely look at me and you never touch me anymore. i don't understand what happened." you blurted out, distressed. she looked up at you with guilt plastered on her face.

you saw her struggle internally as she sighed, covered her face with her hands and walked around the bathroom before returning to stand in front of you. "that other night." she started, "i felt something." she looked away from you, "i mean. i had already felt something before, but that night, when you grabbed me, i– i dont know. i realized something."

what? that you didn't matter? that you were ugly? your mind started thinking of the worst scenarios but when she saw you the fear in your face, she immediately interjected, "it's nothing bad! i promise." she put her hand on your arm, the first time she'd touched you in a while. 

"i realized why i was clinging to you so much. i know that i am a touchy person but with you, it was just… different." you frowned in confusion but nodded at her to keep going, "i want to touch you all the goddamn time. not just at training or after a game, i mean i want to hold you and be held by you while we fall asleep. i want to hold your hand when we go for walks, i want you to hug me while i cook dinner or when we're watching scary movies, i just – i want you." she finished with a sigh, an agitated look on her face as she stared into your eyes.

you were speechless. aitana wanted you? the same way you wanted her? 

when she saw you kept being silent after a while, she continued,  "i'm sorry for distancing myself, but these feelings… they are new to me. i didn't know what to do with them, how to approach you, if i should tell you, i was scared you didn't feel the sa–"

"can i kiss you?" you interrupted.

"what?" she asked quietly, shock all over her face. 

you put your hands on the back of her neck, slightly tugging on her hair, so her head turns upwards to you. you lean closer, lips almost brushing hers, "i asked if i could –" you were cut off by aitana's lips pressing yours with urgency. she grabbed your waist, strong arms pulling you closer. you sighed in pleasure within the kiss, which prompted her to stick her tongue into your mouth. you tugged on her hair a little harder and pressed your tongue against hers. you pulled away to take a breath and grabbed her jaw, a cocky smirk forming on your face when her hooded eyes filled with lust, "this is what made you realize you wanted me?" she nodded, breathless. you pulled her in and gave her a hard kiss, teeth and tongues clashing together before you pulled away again.

"i am so glad patri made me come look for her lost purse."

"huh? lucy told me to come find her lost purse."

a/n: idk if some expressions are used correctly, english is not my first language so if u guys have anything point at, my asks are open :) also i didn't proof read sorry i finished this pretty late and im sleepy 🤪✌️

[sordezos]

Farewell promise II

Soo this is the second part! hope you like it!

Word count: 2232

Warnings: bit of angst, happy ending tho

Thanks @wososapologist for the amazing ideas!! x

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You open your eyes a minute after trying to relax yourself. You finally turn the engine off and turn your head to the right, logo big enough to make you realize again what you were doing here.

After Ingrid’s departure, you spent one year more at Wolfsburg, but it wasn’t the same, so when an offer from Chelsea appeared, you accepted without hesitation. It was known that you were rather a private person and not so talkative in public, but you and Guro hit it off instantly, become close friends after a few weeks. Time passed, you won your place at the starting squad along with a few titles and being recognized as one of the best wingers.

Your family used to tell you at every call that you had everything: friends, a good job with a good pay and at the peak of your career. At first, you agreed, not even thinking about that person that was on the back on your mind. So every time they asked when you were going to get a boyfriend you just laughed and waved them off, changing the topic after.

If someone asked Guro about your love life, she wouldn’t know what to say. Yes, she has seen you going on dates arranged by her and Erin, but every time you came back, excitement about a second date was never present, you just said the same thing: “We didn’t connect” or “He was nice, but I don’t think we hit it off” and went to prepare dinner. Usually, after you came back the three of you would have dinner and watch some movies. It was there when Guro noticed the way you would fidget with the bracelet placed on your wrist. But she didn’t push it, if you wanted to talk, she would give you all the time you needed.

The season came to an end and a decision had to be made. After Chelsea won the league, offers started to rain, and after talking with your agent about each one, both of you decided for a change. After signing up the contract you went to your shared apartment and shared the news with Guro.

You could tell that she was sad, but the encouraging comments made you think that you did the correct decision. It wasn’t until you were in your bed that you started to overthink, was it a hasty decision? It's true that it was the highest offer by far, but you weren’t sure about a lot of things. Well, about one thing, were you ready to see her again? Will she be happy or mad? Will things be the same? Before you could think more, exhaustion caught up to you and sleep consumed you until the morning.

After the official announcement was made, you went to a goodbye party organized by your now ex-teammates. While the driver got you to your new house after the flight, you took your phone to see the ton of messages from a few of your new teammates. You would lie if you say that disappointment didn’t cross your face when that teammate didn’t send a message.

So now you’re here, sit in your car and looking at the giant FC Barcelona logo on the building on your right, checking the time in order to not be late. Today you and Ona Battle were about to start your season at Barcelona, both looking for a change from the London weather.

The two of you have played together at national team camp, so you were good friends, and that’s why when she knocked of your window and smiled at you that you smiled back and got out of the car.

“Qué tal guapa? Con ganas de empezar?” (What’s up? Eager to start?) she asks you jumping on your back as soon as you get out, happiness radiating from her, so you can’t help it but laugh and take your training bag out of the car “Claro que si, te vas a bajar?” (Of course, but are you going to get down?) you say while you start walking “No” is all she says as she tightens her grip and laugh.

Upon entering the changing room you are meet by cheering and applause, your national teammates happy that the two of you are finally playing with them and not against them. They all hug Ona, and they all hug you, except one person. You sit in your assigned place next to Claudia and Patri, and they instantly start to talk to you about something and not wanting to think too much about her, you join the conversation, taping your wrist at the same time and head to the pitch a few minutes later with them.

Ingrid on the other side of the room, watches you leave and turns to Frido, already regretting not approaching to you a few minutes before. Her friend looks at her confused, and before she can ask any questions, Ingrid takes her hand get them out of the room, heading to the pitch. On their way there, Ingrid explains to her all, and by the time she has finished they are already at the pitch doing some paired drills. Frido takes her wrist taking a better look to the special bracelet and before Ingrid can ask her, Frido starts to scold her for not talking to you before.

From the other side of the pitch you see as she takes Ingrid’s hand rather confused, have you read things wrong? Where they something before and you haven’t seen it? Thankfully Patri seems to read your mind, because the next thing she does is explain to you about what happened between Mapi and Ingrid and the aftermath of it, telling you about how Ingrid ended things because she said that she feel things for other person, and before she could tell you anything about said person, the whistle blew and the team got prepared for a practice match.

To your luck, you were put in the same team as Ingrid, and both of you stood there, a few meters apart. Not knowing what to say, should you say something about what happened back there? Say that you’re sorry for her breakup? You finally decided on your words, so you turned around to look at her, just to find that she was looking at you. You finally opened your mouth only for the both to talk at the same time. A laugh came out from your mouth and Ingrid could feel the feelings that she has tried to put down for years coming to the surface at once. Before you could ask her why she looked serious the whistle let all of you know that the match was on, so you turned around and gave your best on the grass.

1 goal and two assists is what you get by the time practice has finished. Making your way to the water bottles you receive several congratulations from your teammates, more than one highlighting how you and Ingrid seems to read each other’s mind with your passes.

You finally go back to the changing rooms along Marta and Alexia, talking about strategies for the next match, taking the tape off your wrist and giving your opinion on a few plays. What you didn’t see is how Frido and Ingrid were behind, and Ingrid was listening to her teammate about the plan that she made for her in order to win you again. Ingrid herself building up the courage to talk to you after all the team left the locker room.

Taking your time on the shower, trying to get rid of your already sore muscles you hear the changing room door opening and closing, thinking it was the last teammate leaving, therefore you thought you were the only one left.

As you get dressed up and exit the showers, you're surprised to find Ingrid waiting for you by your locker. You send her a smile, and she smiles back looking more… relaxed?

But there's something different about Ingrid now—she seems more confident, more self-assured. And as you study her face, you can't help but notice the subtle changes that time has wrought. It's clear she's grown since you last saw her, both as a player and as a person.

Meanwhile, Ingrid studies your face and doesn’t fall to notice how now you are a bit taller than her, how you have let your hair grow longer, and how you seem more mature, looking at a small scar that you had since you were little just above your eyebrow.

Ingrid's eyes twinkle mischievously as she catches you staring, and she smirks teasingly. “Like what you see?” she quips, her tone playful.

You roll your eyes, unable to resist teasing her right back. “Please, I've seen better,” you retort, earning a mock offended gasp from Ingrid.

It seems like the right moment, so you decide to offer your condolences about her breakup with Mapi, not wanting to intrude.

Ingrid's expression flickers with a hint of sadness before she offers a small smile. “Yeah, we broke up,” she admits, her voice tinged with regret. “I realized I still had feelings for someone else.”

Your heart skips a beat at her words, a glimmer of hope sparking within you. Could it be...?

You catch the subtle shift in Ingrid's demeanor, the way her eyes search yours for understanding. You don’t know from where the confidence came from, but with a teasing grin, you nudge her playfully. “Oh, so you finally realized you couldn't live without me, huh?”

Ingrid laughs, a sound that you wouldn't mind listening to every day. “Something like that,” she teases back, her eyes dancing with mischief.

As you continue to chat, Ingrid's gaze drifts to the bracelet adorning your wrist—the same bracelet she gave you years ago before she left. Her expression softens, and she reaches out to touch it gently, her fingers tracing the familiar pattern.

“I can't believe you still have this,” she murmurs, her voice filled with affection.

You shrug nonchalantly, trying to hide the warmth that spreads through you at her touch. “What can I say? It's a good luck charm.”

Ingrid smiles, a genuine smile that reaches her eyes. “Well, it certainly seems to be working,” she says softly, her gaze lingering on yours.

Is when she let go of your hand that you notice her bracelet. “And what do we have here?” you ask her now taking her hand in yours.

She just smiles and shrugs “What can I say? I have excellent taste in jewelry.”

Your laughter fills the room, a melodic sound that sends shivers down her spine. “ Well, I can't argue with that, princesa” you quip, your eyes sparkling with affection.

Then, in a bold move that takes you by surprise, Ingrid asks if you'd like her to show you around the city.

As Ingrid's words hang in the air, the tension between you becomes palpable. Your hidden feelings under the surface threatening to scape at any moment.

Without a word, you step closer, your hands finding their way to Ingrid's waist, pulling her gently towards you. Ingrid's eyes widen slightly in surprise at the sudden intimacy, but she doesn't pull away. Instead, her hand finds the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair as she draws you closer.

The kiss is hesitant at first, a tentative exploration of emotions long suppressed. But as the seconds pass, it deepens. Your heart pounds in your chest as you lose yourself in the taste and feel of Ingrid's lips against yours.

When you finally pull back, breathless and exhilarated, Ingrid's eyes are filled with a mixture of wonder and longing. You can see the uncertainty lingering in her gaze, a silent question waiting to be answered.

 “So, is that a yes?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper, her fingers still tracing patterns on your skin.

“Well, I don't know,” you say, feigning uncertainty. “I've heard you're a bit rusty when it comes to giving tours. Might need a more experienced guide.”

Ingrid rolls her eyes playfully, a smirk playing on her lips. “Oh, please. I practically wrote the guidebook on this city,” she retorts, her tone teasing.

As Ingrid's fingers continue to trace patterns on your skin, you can't help but tease her in return, savoring the playful banter that has always been there between the two of you.

 “Well, in that case,” you say, a mischievous twinkle in your eyes, “I suppose I'll have to take my chances with the self-proclaimed expert guide.”

Ingrid chuckles softly, her smirk widening into a grin. “You won't regret it, elsking” she assures you, her voice laced with amusement.

With a playful grin, you lean in once more, capturing her lips in another sweet kiss. When you finally pull back, you can't help but laugh. “We have a lot of lost time to make up for, don't we cariño?” you remark, a hint of teasing in your voice.

Ingrid's eyes sparkle with amusement as she nods, a playful glint in her gaze. “Oh, definitely,” she replies, her tone filled with promise. “But I have a feeling we'll have no trouble catching up.”

And before you know it, you are hand in hand walking towards your car and talking about the movie you are going to see tonight.

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I just hope ya'll liked it, if you have any request feel free to tell me!

Any ideas for the next one?

#ingrid engen x reader #woso x reader #woso community #woso imagine #barca femini x reader

[sordezos]

Farewell promise

Summary: Ingrid gave you a matching friendship bracelet in your first season at Wolsfburg. Years pass, you get to play together at Barcelona and you still wear it.

Warnings: none! just some angst¿

Part 1 of ?

You first met Ingrid at Wolfsburg, being the first season for both of you. Constant chatting and dates as friends outside the pitch became your thing. The only issue was the language barrier, you being Spanish and her Norwegian, the only option available was the English, but you made it work.

It was safe to say that you were devastated when you find out that Barcelona was looking for her for the next season, and although it hurt you, you knew that she would be better there. So when she came with a massive smile telling you about the offer, you couldn’t do anything apart from hugging her and telling her to take it and live the abroad experience.

You spent your last weekend before her departure to Barcelona together at your shared apartment, watching movies, talking and playing some games. It was on Sunday night when after eating your dinner, you went to your room and came back with a bracelet in your hand. Ingrid looked confused at you, but when you took her wrist, put it for her and heard you say "Promise me you won't forget me, cariño" that she understood everything. After that, you drove her to the airport and walked by her side until she had to get on the plane. You both looked at each other for a while, getting lost in her green eyes that by now were glossy because of the tears she was holding. After a painful goodbye while hugging, you heard her say "Promise you won't forget me, Kjæreste" and the next thing you felt was a bracelet in your wrist.

Looking down in confusion, you asked her what this was, and after receiving no response, you glanced up, only in time to see Ingrid already getting in the line to enter the plane. Not wanting to make this longer, you turned around and started walking to the exit, you fought the urge to look back to search for that pair of eyes and continued your way to your car, missing the fact that they were already looking back at you.

----------------------------------------------------

Thoughs?? do ya'll want a part 2?

I'm open to request, in fact in would be amazing if any of you has any, i'm short of ideas at the moment haha, so just dm me!

Althougth it isn't my first time writing on the internet it is my first time here so any tips, things to improve, etc. tell me please!

I'm sorry about it being so short, I didn't know where I was going to go and if I was going to continue it x

#ingrid engen x reader #woso x reader #woso imagine #barca femini x reader

[sordezos]

Title: Mean It

Pairing: Meredith Grey x Reader

Prompt: "I didn't mean to say that, but yeah, I love you."

Word Count: 708

Meredith's head was absolutely killing her. It had been a long time since she had let loose and drank like that. She was honestly shocked that she wasn't in worse shape than she felt. There were a lot of little pieces that she needed to put together, but she wasn't completely sure that she actually wanted to.

Meredith counted waking up in her own bed as a win. A substantial amount of her clothing was gone, but Meredith recognized Ash's body face-down on the mattress next to her. She had really been hoping that they'd take things slower than this, but Meredith wasn't upset about waking up next to Ash.

Their relationship was confusing for Meredith. She had always thought that she was straight. Ash had come into her life and stirred all of that up. The woman was abosolutely amazing at everything that Meredith had ever seen her try. The more that they learned about each other, the more that Meredith fell for her. That was the scary part because Meredith didn't know if Ash even remotely felt the same way about her.

Meredith had heard things, and as she looked at Ash asleep in her bed, they were hard to believe. Ash was supposedly worse than Alex or Mark had ever been. She had a constant trail of heartbroken girls everywhere she went. Meredith understood why everybody wanted Ash. Ash held herself with a bravado that was both stupidly attractive and frustrating. In Meredith's bed, that bravado slipped away for the night and left someone almost unrecognizably soft.

"I think I love you." Meredith reached down and brushed her fingers against the side of Ash's head.

Meredith's heart sank a little whenever she heard Ash speak up, "You're still a little drunk, but I love you too." Meredith could have sworn that Ash was dead asleep, but that was just her luck. Ash noticed the sudden tension in the room and lifted her head up to see Meredith staring at her. "What?"

"How long have you been awake?" Meredith asked her. Ash shrugged. She had been up for a little while, before Meredith had even begun moving around. Ash always seemed to wake up before Meredith, even whenever they slept in different bedrooms, which Amelia and Maggie were not letting her live down.

"Long enough to hear you say that you loved me," Ash answered. That was what Meredith wanted to know, even if she was afraid of hearing the answer to that question. Ash thought that they had been together long enough for declarations of love, but Meredith wanted things to move slowly in every aspect that they could. "Although, you should really be more concerned with why we're not wearing clothes."

"Sex doesn't have to mean anything, you told me that. Me telling you that I love you is something that does mean something. How can you act so casually about this?" Meredith sounded like she was on the verge of a panic attack, so Ash stepped in the help the best that she could.

"I'm being so calm about this because I've known that I love you for weeks now. I didn't think we'd be saying it on a night of heavy drinking, but you didn't run when I told you last night," Ash said. Meredith did a double take as she processed that information. Ash saying it first was not something that Meredith expected at all, but as she thought about it, she seemed to remember Ash saying a lot of sappy things around their third shared bottle.

"Did you even mean to tell me last night?" Meredith nervously played with her hands as she waited for Ash to answer her.

"I didn't mean to say that, but yeah, I love you." Ash spoke with such confidence that Meredith had to believe her. Slowly, Meredith's heart rate started to slow down again. The reassurance shouldn't have meant so much to Meredith, and a part of her wanted to run because of it, but she couldn't. That wasn't worth hurting both herself and Ash, nothing seemed worth throwing away that chance at happiness.

"Say it again," Meredith told Ash.

"I love you," Ash mumbled as she leaned up to kiss Meredith's forehead.

[sordezos]

Harassment

Hi everyone!

So this is the shittiest thing I ever wrote and it took me forever. Please let me know what you think anyway. It's for a request from here.

Also I haven't corrected spelling or syntax, it was the one thing too many.

Enjoy ♥

TW : Past relationship abused, kidnapping, violence, angst.

______________________________________________________________

Since her comeback to Barcelona, Ona is your little ray of sunshine. It’s not at that moment that you met her, you know her since she started to play in Manchester United. Yourself playing for Manchester United too, you met there. You only played together one year, before you went to play to Lyon for a loan for one year. And after that, you find yourself to FC Barcelona, where you met Ona again.

You always had a crush on her, I mean how could you not? But nothing ever happened between the both of you, you were maybe to shy for that. Before Barcelona, you never said anything to her about your feelings for her. You even tried to forget her when you were at Lyon, with some French man you met around football stadium.

Things were great with him at first, but it soon started to get strange. And, at last, violent. He was a manipulative, jealous and violent man. But you didn’t know a lot of people in France, and you didn’t want to talk to your teammates about what he was doing to you. You are clumsy by nature, so you just said your bruises were from falling or hitting you on basically every surface in your flag.

When your loan was finish, he asked you to stop football. Well, he required. But your agent didn’t let you and you’re forever thankful for him about that. He makes you move to Barcelona, and you broke up with your boyfriend at the same time. He wasn’t happy with you, clearly not. But you threatened to press charges if he didn’t leave you alone. Since then, you’ve never heard from him again. And this is a great relief.

No one in your current team knows about your story with him. Along those year you were still talking to Ona though, even if it wasn’t regularly. But you were more than happy to be in the same team again. Ona seems too and since day one you literally weren’t apart.

You helped Ona to choose the missing furniture for her flat and you both have a key from the other flat. You like cuddling watching TV with her, you like when she sleeps on your shoulder during travels to another city for a game, you like listening to her talking about her family. You like her laugh, you like her smile, you like her smell, you like her freckles, her hair, her eyes, her arms, everything about her. You like her. You love her.

You weren’t really discreet about it though, because some of your friends of the team started to tease you about it. Cata is one of your best friends in the team and she’s maybe your number one teaser. She’s kind enough to not doing it in front of Ona, but she received more than a slap behind her head because of it. You couldn’t help to stare at Ona when she’s away from you, your eyes attracted to her like magnets.

Ona can ask what she wants, you will always say yes. You didn’t say a word about your attraction to her anyway, you’re way to scared to lose her for that. You don’t know what you would do if Ona flew away from your life. She’s your everything and you better have her as a friend in your life than don’t have her.

********

You’re at the end of a game in the Johan Cruyiff stadium, enjoying some laugh with Cata and Lucy about Cata’s awkwardness in the video the admin post on Instagram where she thanks the Culers about their support.

You don’t have to turn around to know who owns the hand that gently rests in the hollow of your kidneys, its softness and its warmth recognizable between a thousand. Ona smile back at you and you pass your arm around her shoulders.

“Great game Señorita” you congrats her.

“Thanks. You were good too.”

She sends you a wink and you smile, turning to the stadium to go sign some jersey and take pictures. Ona didn’t let you go and you didn’t too, enjoying her closeness more than anything. Fans are speculating about a relationship between you two, but you never talked about it to Ona before. She didn’t, so you just follow her lead. You have to release her when you’re near the fans though and you start talking with the people waiting for you.

Minutes passed and you are coming slowly to the entrance of the tunnel giving access to the locker rooms. That’s when you saw him.

Your ex-boyfriend.

His evil smile on his face, he’s looking at you dead in your eyes. You froze, your hands suddenly shaking. It’s like all around you isn’t here anymore. What is he doing here? What does he want?

You almost jump out your skin when you fell a hand on your back, turning yourself to be faced to Ona and Alexia.

“Is everything alright?” the brunette asks while Alexia looks at you attentively.

“Yeah” you mumble “I’m just tired.”

You look again where your ex is standing and he’s still looking at you. You let Ona drives you to the changing room, where you get ride of your kit quietly, deep in your thoughts. You block his number when you left France and all his social media. You even didn’t really think about him those past weeks, being more focused on your job in the team. And, you have to admit, your relationship with Ona.

You take a long, hot shower, hopping he left when you will get out of the stadium too. When you get out of the shower, almost all of your teammates left too. There is still Ona, Alexia, Marta and Caro. The last three were talking too fast in Catalan for you to understand, but Ona seems to be waiting for you. She gives you a smile, far from suspecting where your mind is spiraling.

“Are you ready to get home?”

You almost say you prefer to go home alone, scared that the man is somewhere waiting for you. But when you realize that the other three women are leaving too, you nod. At least you will be with more force if he tries to talk to you. Or worst.

You’re on edge during your walk to the parking, not listening to what the others are saying, looking around you discreetly. Well, you think you are, but Alexia and Ona exchange an questioning look behind you. You manage to go in Ona’s car without seeing him, after saying goodbye to your friends.

“Do you want to come at my home or are you too tired for it cariño?”

You look at Ona for some seconds, before answering. You are scared to go home to find him on your doorstep, but if he’s following you, you don’t want to put Ona in danger. You know what he’s capable of. In other hand, he doesn’t know what Ona’s car looks like.

“I can come, if it’s ok with you”

“Of course”

Ona smiles at you, taping your hand with hers before turning on her car. It’s dark outside and you don’t see a lot, but you don’t see him waiting outside with some fans. Ona didn’t stop to say hi, only waving at them and you’re secretly really relieved about it. You slept at Ona’s tonight, feeling a little more in security while you cuddle against her in her bed.

********

The next time you see him, is when you’re running late for training. You had a shooting to promote the new adidas boots who take longer than you thought. You wrote to Ona to tell her you will be late and she answered to take your time and drive safely. You did, but when you stop your car, you jump outside your car, throw your bag on your shoulder and start almost running in the entrance.

“Hey, Y/N!”

Without other thought, you turn in the voice’s direction, thinking it’s a fan or something. But it’s not. It’s him, once again. He’s alone, you’re alone and you can’t make a single move to get away from here. Even when he’s walking in your direction.

“I see things are great for you know. Great car, great teammates… Great friends”

Your heart beats too fast and you swallow nervously before answering him. He’s now standing only one meter from you.

“What do you want?”

“I want my girlfriend, you, back. You left me without any choice and a threat, but I decided I’m better with you.”

“The threat is still on.”

Your voice is weak, and you feel pathetic. He seems to think the same, his laughs making you shivers. But before he can say anything else, you hear someone calling your name behind you.

You breath a little better when you realize that is Alexia and she’s walking where you are.

“You’re not coming? We are late.”

You nod, following her lead silently.

“See you soon Y/N” your ex says behind you.

You flinch but answer nothing to him. You don’t look back either, focused on your feet while you’re still walking with Alexia.

“Do you know him?”

You gulp, not really knowing what to answer to that. Yes, you know him, but it’s not really something you want Alexia to know. But she continues, still talking.

“You didn’t look really comfortable. You know, if someone disturbed you, you just have to say something and the security will take him away, right?”

“Yes, I know” you smile “Thank you Ale.”

Alexia smiles at you and pass an arm around your shoulders, taking you in the changing room. You don’t really know why you don’t explain what happened with him. You’re ashamed, but you know she wont judge you. Like Ona wouldn’t, Cata and all your friends and teammates. It’s just something you hate talking about. You never did, to anyone.

Since that day, you are always with someone to go to training or even the games. It’s usually Ona, sometimes Cata too. You are more at Ona’s flat than yours, scared to find yourself face to him. Ona’s flat is secured, you need to have an electronic card to access to the building and the parking lot. Yours isn’t.

Ona seems to realize that something is wrong with you. She hasn’t talk about it for now, but sometimes when she looks at you, you can find concern in her eyes. You are closer than ever though, and you must fight everyday your will to kiss her. It’s even harder when you’re cuddling against her like today in front of her tv.

You smile when you feel her lips kissing your hair, raising your eyes to hear. She smiles back, but she has the same concern look in her eyes. With her hand, she puts back some of your hair behind your ear.

“You know you can count on me cariño, si? No matter what?”

“Of course, Ona. Why are you saying that?”

Did Alexia talked to her about the time she saw you with your ex? You’re nervous suddenly, something you usually aren’t when Ona is around.

“I just feel like something is happening to you. You’re not like yourself, you’re always thinking, like something is constantly confusing you. I miss hearing you laugh.”

“I’m sorry” you mumble, sitting up. “Do you want me to leave?”

“What? No, I’ve never said that!”

Ona groans in frustration, rubbing her forehead. You don’t really understand what she wants from you. If you’re annoying, you would better go home and face whatever repercussions you will have to. Ona takes your hand, slightly stroking your fingers with her thumb.

“I don’t really know how to say that, and maybe the timing is wrong. But I really care for you, like maybe not in a friendly way. Well, it’s not maybe, I do care about you. Because I like you, a lot.”

You haven’t look away for a second, but you still have trouble understanding what she really is saying. She likes you a lot? Like, like like? Your confusion must be writing on your face, because Ona smiles and comes to sit closer to you.

“I like you. I want to take you on a date, have you for myself everyday and try to make you happy. Is it something you want to too?”

“I’m waiting for it since day one, Ona” you admit, blushing.

“Perfect” Ona grins. “And now, I really want to kiss you.”

You didn’t let her kiss you; you kiss her first. Leaning in her direction, you put your lips on hers, testing their softness for the first time. They are soft and sweet, as if they were made for yours. Ona kisses you back, her hand finding her way to your hair, holding your face against hers as she deepens the kiss. Soon her tongue is on your bottom lip, asking the entrance of your mouth and you lost it.

No one ever kissed you with so much passion. And no one ever makes you feel this way.

********

It feels weird to go to the training the day after your first kiss with Ona. You spend the night to her flat, enjoying her presence next to you. She drives you to training and you met Cata and Mariona on the parking lot. They are used to see you both coming together so they didn’t say anything, even if Cata wiggle her brows when Ona isn’t looking. You roll your eyes, discreetly pinching her ribs, making her yelp.

There is no way that you talk to her about last night right now. You want to enjoy the memories a little more before being teased even more.

Ona seems amused by your little fight, and she gives you a knowing look, who makes you smile. You confess some things yesterday, and the fact that Cata knows about your crush for her was in.

The training went great, your teammates regaining your lost bubbly personality. You make your drill with Ona, simply unable to stay away from her. Things got bad again though, while you were changing in the locker room after your shower.

You’re joking with Cata while Ona is talking with Mariona and Alexia when Fridolina come back to the changing room, Mapi and Ingrid following her.

“Hey Y/N” Frido says, making your gaze go to her “You never said anything about your boyfriend!”

“What?” you frown.

Next to you, Ona froze, her head turning quickly in your direction. You share a look with her before turning to Frido again.

“What are you talking about?”

“Your boyfriend” she repeats, smirking.

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Mapi rolls her eyes before looking at her phone in the pocket of her jeans. You are always lost when she opens it, scrolling for some seconds before putting it in front of your face.

You suddenly turned pale.

It is in fact a picture of you with your ex, looking happy and in love. It was in the first days of your relationship though. You never took pictures after he started his abuse.

“He shows us the pictures because the security won’t let him passed” Mapi explain.

You don’t know what to say. Your heart is pounding. But you soon realize that he’s here, some meters from you.

“Where is he?” you ask in a small voice.

“Wait, you do know him?”

Ona’s voice is a mix of surprise, incomprehension and disbelief. She doesn’t look at Mapi when she snorts and show her her phone again, only looking at you. You can’t lie to her.

“I do, but it’s not what you think Oni, I swear.”

“Don’t Oni me.”

The others seem lost about your interaction with Ona, only Cata seems to understand what’s happening. You never saw Ona looking at you the way she is, with so much cold and almost hate.

“Ona let her explain, maybe you…” Cata tries.

But Ona brutally stands up, taking her bag and leaving the room. You try to get up to follow her, but Mapi stops you right after. You know she loves Ona and probably only want to protect her, but she makes you lose time.

“What have you done?” she asks coldly.

“Not now Mapi, please. I will explain, but now I have to catch her.”

You don’t let her answer anything, standing up to try to find Ona. But you’re not able to and when you reach the parking lot, she has already left. You came with her this morning, so you don’t have your car to go to her flat. You thought about picking a bike or something, until a car stops right next to you.

You don’t have to see the face of the person inside it, you know already.

“Get in the car, or I’ll follow her. Now.”

What could you do? There’s no way that you let him go after Ona, he seems to knows what link you have with her. You don’t hesitate one second, but that’s doesn’t mean it’s easy to do. Your hands are shaking once again when you open the passenger door.

Meanwhile, in the changing room, Alexia had observed the interaction without saying a word. She was analyzing everything. When you left, she asks Mapi to see the pictures she showed you and Ona and she recognize him almost directly.

“She was talking to him last week, in the parking lot when we both arrived late” Alexia frowns.

“So she knows him! He’s her boyfriend!” Frido says with exasperation.

“I’m not sure… She didn’t look at ease, he was talking but she wasn’t. She looked almost scared.”

Ingrid’s frowning too, like Alexia she was quiet during the little scene before. She doesn’t want to believe that you will cheat to someone, whatever if this person is Ona or someone else. Something was disturbing her since the beginning.

“He said he will wait for her outside” she remembers her friends and her girlfriend.

“What?!” almost shout Cata

The Majorcan woman doesn’t hesitate. Like Ona and you did, she runs in the floor, Alexia following soon after. But they arrived to late, only able to see you getting in your ex’s car.

********

You don’t say anything during the journey. You don’t know where he’s taking you, you don’t recognize the streets anymore. Ona is still a big part of your thoughts; you have your phone in the inside pocket of your jacket, but you prefer not to use it for now. Maybe you will need it after. You’re scared too, but it’s not something new when you’re with him.

“Where are we going?” you ask some minutes later.

He looks briefly at you, but only answer with a grimace full of disdain. You took the opposite direction from your apartment or Ona’s, so you’re relieved to see that he didn’t decide to go after the girl you love. You don’t know what he planned for you, but you regret not being able to tell Ona that you love her before everything shattered. At the same time, how could you have imagined the turn of events?

You really start to worry when he leaves the busy roads for small roads, where houses are becoming fewer and fewer. When it stops at the roadside, just before the start of a forest road, you turn in its direction.

"Get off" he does simply by picking up his phone and car keys.

You put your attention around you. There are only trees and a rocky path that starts a few meters from where the car is stopped.

"I said, get off!"

You jump, but you obey what he orders you, opening the car door. The air is a little cooler than in the city of Barcelona, here in the shade of the trees. You swallow before delicately closing the car door. He shows you the way to follow with a nod, making you pass in front of him. He must fear an attempt to flee from you if you walk behind, which may indeed happen.

"Where are we going?" you ask again.

But he doesn’t answer you, pushing you in the back to make you move forward. What you end up doing, eyes screwed to the floor so you don’t twist an ankle with all these stones.

“You never learn” he says some minutes after

“What?”

You frown, turning slightly in his direction. With the time passing, it looks like you lost the ability to understand him. Reading in his mind.

“I told you to stop football. You didn’t and then you left me? Who do you think you are?”

You bite your lip. He seems angry and that’s never been a good thing. You try to slow down a bit, scared to arrive to his destination.

“People online are saying that you’re shagging this Spanish girl. Is that true?”

You’re just denying it by shaking your head negatively. Technically, you’re not lying to him. You and Ona never took that step.

“Do you realize what people think of me? My girlfriend leaving me to play football in Spain and flirting like a slut with other people?"

“I’m not your girlfriend anymore” you mumble.

You know you’re going to make him angry, but you don’t care. You have a hard time with the way he talks about Ona, not to mention the gratuitous insult you just took.

As you expected, he reacts brutally, grabbing your arm and turning you around, stopping you in your walk and drawing you towards him.

"That’s what you believe. You’re mine and if I can’t have you, no one else will."

Before you have time to fully realize what it involves, a pebble rolling sound behind you causing him to release you and turn in the opposite direction. But there is no one and even if you managed to run away without him realizing it, you don’t know what exit you can find to save yourself.

When two paths present themselves to you, you choose the one that continues to descend. Unfortunately, he sees you doing, unlike what happens in suspense movies. A few meters further, it finally happens what it was supposed to happen on this stony path. You twist your ankle and fall heavily. You don’t have time to get up that he’s already next to you, looking furious.

You try to get up anyway, especially when you see him picking up a big stone at your feet.

Then several things happen in the fractions of seconds that follow this movement. With an instinctive gesture, you protect your face with your arm, what you imagine your last thoughts turned towards Ona.

But you hear other steps, loud voices and a cry of pain that is not yours. When you stand up, your ex is lying on the ground, Cata’s shaking her right hand in pain and Alexia seems to hold your ex on the ground with a foot on his chest cage. Behind them, Mariona is on the phone.

"What are you doing here?" you stutter, getting up as best you can.

"We followed you" Cata simply replies.

You accept her valid hand to get up, limping slightly because of your ankle. You watch as your ex-boyfriend insults Alexia deeply in French, before you turn your attention to your captain.

“I don’t speak French” the blonde smirk.

“Help is on his way” Mariona says soon after.

She comes for you and take you in her arms, a hug that you give her back happily.

“How’s your hand?” you ask to Cata over Mariona’s shoulder.

“Hé I've had worse”

You smirk too before releasing Mariona, you pat your cheek slightly. You wait for only a few minutes for the rescue team, leaning on Cata to relieve your painful ankle. They take your ex in one car and take him to the nearest police station. They inform you that someone will come to ask you some questions at the hospital, where your taken with Cata to check your injuries.

********

You told everything to Cata, Mariona and Alexia as the take you to the hospital. They listened, never judging you. You felt stupid to hide all this without talking to anyone, but they never said anything about that too.

You are sitting in your hospital bed, talking with Cata when the door of your room is suddenly open. Turning your head, you recognize Ona’s silhouette in a second. She doesn’t seem sure of herself though, waddling from one foot to the other on the doorstep.

“You can come in, Oni”

“I’m going to call my mum” Cata says, jumping from the chair she was sitting until now.

She smiles at you and pats Ona shoulder before get it out and closing the door behind her.

Ona’s looking at you and you’re looking at you. She took a few steps inside the room but is still far away from you.

“Ona I…”

“Look I know…”

Of course, you have to talk at the same time. This makes you smile and Ona smiles too, making your heart fluttered a little. Her smile has always been something magical for you.

“Go on” you say simply.

“I’m sorry for running away without taking the time to listen to you. Don’t be mad at her but when Alexia called me to ask me to come here, she told me what happened. And why.”

You swallow with difficulty, not really sure of what Ona thinks about that. You’re still not very at ease about this part of your past, but if someone must know, it’s Ona. Unless she isn’t interested in you anymore.

“So you know” you whispers.

“I know that it’s your ex-boyfriend and not your current boyfriend and that he was kind of following you around here. Alexia said there is more, but that it’s better if you talk about it yourself.”

You are thankful for Alexia’s care, but in other hand you wouldn’t have been against the idea of not putting words about it. You pat the bed next to you to invite Ona to sit down, taking a deep breath before talking.

“You don’t have to share anything if you don’t want to, Cariño.”

“I know. I just don’t know where to start” you sigh.

Ona doesn’t say anything, only grabs your hand to interlink your fingers together. You let her, of course. Her presence is everything to you right now, so you have to make an effort for her and talk. Ona waits patiently, playing with your fingers.

“Ok, so I’m going to be very straightforward” you begin, waiting for Ona to nod before talking again. “When I met him, I was desperate to forget the feelings I hade for someone back in Manchester. I was to shy to talk to her and I don’t know. He was very kind and caring at first.”

You bite your lips, you saw that Ona almost interrupt you to ask who this person was, but you prefer not to tell her now. You are almost sure that she will feel guilty about all this and you don’t want that.

“But after some weeks, he began to become jealous, possessive and controlling the messages I sent, the people I talked to. To avoid arguments, I ghosted a lot of people. I went to training, to games and then I went home right after. I haven’t made many friends in Lyon. But he was never satisfied. When my contract in Lyon was finish, I wanted me to quit football. I refused and left for Barcelona when he was out with friends. I told him not to talk to me again if he if he didn’t want me to press charges. I did it until two weeks ago.”

Ona doesn’t say anything, but the expressions on her face are talking for her. You can see in her eyes the anger caused by everything you said. A silence pass and it’s now you who play with her fingers.

“Did he hit you? Don’t lie to me.”

Ona’s eyes are intense, and you struggle to keep eye contact with her.

“I never lied to you, Oni” you mumble before answering the real question. “Yeah, I did. No one saw it, you know how clumsy I am. The all believed that I fall in the stairs or something like that.”

Ona is fuming, but you can see how much she’s trying to control herself and not just exploded right now.

“The person you were in love with, before him, doesn’t know about all this?”

“She didn’t know about my feelings at all. Why?”

Ona shrugs once again before answering you.

“I was wondering if you were in a middle of a breakup or something. You didn’t say you were with someone when we were at Manchester.”

“I wasn’t” you simply say. “I would have told you if I was with someone.”

You don’t want her to ask you who it was, but you know the question is coming as soon as Ona opens her mouth.

“Who were you in love with?”

You look at her for some seconds before saying “no” with your head. But Ona is stubborn and she looks at you with her best puppy eyes.

“You just said that you will never lie to me.”

“Ona…”

She knows that you can’t resist her when she looks at you like that. She can ask you anything and you would just give her, no matter what it is.

“Ok so let me guess. Was it Leah?”

“Galton? No” you laugh lightly.

“Alessia?”

“Nope. I mean she’s cute, but I prefer brunette.”

“Maya?”

“Guess again sweetheart.”

You’re smiling now, really amused by Ona’s guesses. The fact that she doesn’t say her name is pretty funny, but at least you don’t have to lie to her. After the fifth name, she starts to have trouble to find another brunette in your former team. And then you saw the understanding in her eyes. She stayed silence for some seconds, and you let her. There is no way you would say it first.

“It was me.”

It’s not even a question. Your throat is too tight for you to talk, so you just nod. And you see Ona’s face fall.

“I- I didn’t know.”

“I know, Oni. I worked hard to not show you anything. No one knew.”

“I should have guess though; you wouldn’t have to live the hell he makes you live.”

Your hand always in hers, you take her a little more against you. She looks sad and you don’t want to see this on her. Ona deserves only happiness. Nothing else.

“We don’t know where we’d be now if I told you about it back then. What I’ve been through is not easy, but you’re part of my life now and that’s all that matters to me."

Ona is looking everywhere else than you and that gives your stomach a strange sensation. You release Ona’s hand slowly, your stomach wriggling a little.

“You don’t want me anymore.”

Like Ona before, it’s not a question. It’s an affirmation and this time Ona gaze is on you almost immediately. The sadness in your voice almost break her heart and she put her hand on your jawline to make you look at her.

“Of course I do. I’m in love with you too Y/N. I think I always had. I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t. I beg you. Don’t excuse yourself.”

Your face are only a few centimeters from hers when you talk, and she just closes the last gap between you to kiss you. You melt at the contact, passing your arms around her to feel her everywhere. What you had to go through wasn’t easy, as you said. But you know that in Ona’s arms, you will be ok. She will make everything better, like she always did.