snoodnetwork

[snoodnetwork]

its important to do this every time a museum or school thinks this is a good idea

[snoodnetwork]

[snoodnetwork]

>i sit on a throne and people come up to me one by one displaying different items

>with each item i yell out "yonic" or "phallic" and then wave them away to a door to the left or right of me (depending on whether its yonic or phallic)

>guy comes up with an item thats too difficult to label as yonic or phalic

>i pull a lever to the right of me that opens a trap door under his feet sending him to fall miles down to his death as we are in my floating cloud castle

>categorizing continues as normal

[snoodnetwork]

So I went to the Josh Fight

a summary:

- Two Josh Swains were in attendance. OG Josh, hailing from Arizona

- And Nebraska's own Josh Swain, from Omaha.

(feat. An Audio Engineer doing THE MOST for that sound quality)

-All the local news stations were there

- The majority of attendees were from out of state

- The two Josh Swains battled for supremacy by Rock Paper Scissors duel.

- The victor? Josh Swain, from Arizona. A crushing defeat for Josh Swain, who despite having none of Josh Swain's newfound Twitter Clout, DID have the home team advantage, as well as a Great Look.

- Following the Josh Swain Duel and coronation of the One True Josh Swain, there was an All-Josh pool noodle battle royale

- A brief list of notable Josh Variants I saw in this battle:

Josh Swain (Prime)

Josh Swain (Secondary)

Medieval Josh (full chain mail armor)

Spider Josh (x2)

"Josh Wick" (had pool noodles mounted to two electric drills for spin-attack capabilities)

Furry Josh (A Josh in a fursuit)

Big Josh (A large man with the words "Big Josh" painted on his bare torso, and "Dad Bod" painted on his back. Armed with pool noodle wolverine claws)

Little Josh (A small boy of about 5 years old)

Luchador Josh

Roman Centurion Josh

The rules were simple. Enter the ring and fight honorably (no headshots, no hits below the belt.) If you are hit with a pool noodle, you are dead, having fallen in glorious battle. The last Josh standing would be the winner.

The battle lasted a little over sixty seconds in total. The final victor was....

LITTLE JOSH, THE SMALLEST COMBATANT.

The crowd was going wild. The chanting for Little Josh was deafening. Truly there could have been no better outcome.

pool noodle combat was then opened to the general public, for fun rather than glory.

As for Josh Prime, he was like a very cool dude! As of last reporting, he raised $6600 dollars for the Children's Hospital and a truckload of nonperishables for the local food bank alongside the other Josh Fight attendees! He offered masks to any maskless people he met, and did his best to keep things as safe and socially distanced as he could, despite the ungodly amount of people who showed up to this random fucking field outside of Lincoln, Nebraska.

(Also for the Nebraskans: Yes he tried a Runza, and yes he says he enjoyed it.)

So anyway. Shoutout to the one and only Josh Swain.

[snoodnetwork]

anyway i love u "losers" and "boring" people in ur teens and 20s i love you anxious people i love you autists i love you disabled people i love you chronically ill people i love you immunocompromised people i love you people who can't go out and do stereotypical teen/20s activities and i love you people who don't want to. forever!!!

[snoodnetwork]

[snoodnetwork]

[snoodnetwork]

such rage in such a little body

[snoodnetwork]

Girl you cannot “reclaim phrenology”

[snoodnetwork]

sometimes i wonder if every part of my personality these days is a glowing beacon that shrieks to the world "this woman has a tumblr account!" and i start to get legitimately concerned about it except then i remember that all the people best equipped to recognize the signs in the wild are also on this website so. devil's sacrament, etc. the fact that the phrase "devil's sacrament" came so readily to my mind just then is probably a point in favor of an affirmative answer to that first question isn't it

[snoodnetwork]

my hot take about homestuck is that describing the plot is incredibly easy (several others have done this, so i won’t on this post), it’s the STRUCTURE of homestuck that’s impossible to explain simply

and THATS why homestuck references are the most batshit confusing things ever. because they aren’t about the fairly simple plot, theyre about the weird amalgamation of computer coding, chess, billards, zodiacs, fucking LUCKY CHARMS, etc that make up the building blocks of the background elements that barely have anything to do with the core plot

it’s one thing to say homestuck is about 4 friends that play a game at the end of the world to try and design a new world, it’s another to explain why betty crocker is a pisces alien fish dictator that takes the place of the black queen in the third intergalactic chess game of the series

[snoodnetwork]

We know that Facebook is brainscorching your parents and tiktok is brainscorching your cousins, but some of you refuse to admit that you got your brain scorched here. However unlike those sites there isn't an algorithm here you just make bad choices.

[snoodnetwork]

being 5'7" is so fucked. AND i'm a top. i suffer more than you could ever know.

[snoodnetwork]

[snoodnetwork]

this is the best album release of all time because where else are you going to get unironic takes like this and then even get a few hundred people to agree with it

[snoodnetwork]

[snoodnetwork]

Okay so I just watched a video of a boy who once identified as trans still got bottom surgery after he realized he was cis and people were so fucking rude? Like just because this cis dude has a vagina people were calling him transphobic and wishing death upon him.

So this is a reminder that when we as a community advocate for bodily autonomy and gender surgeries that means everyone regardless of gender can do whatever they want with their bodies.

If someone who is cisgender wants top/bottom surgery THEY CAN GET IT. If someone wants facial plastic surgeries that we usually find creepy like buccal fat removal or eye lifts THEY CAN GET IT. And here’s the really controversial one but if someone wants to do things that harm their body like hard drugs or diy mods THEY CAN DO IT!

Because body autonomy isn’t just “I can get bottom surgery to pass” or “I can get an abortion” it’s also all the wild stuff that makes us uncomfortable and that’s okay.