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The Oxventurers Guild should be in the club

#they should be in this club #oxventure

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THINGS YOU REALLY DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOUR LAWYER SAYING

#me at work #ace attorney

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from now on your tumblr nickname is whatever you get from this sexual identity generator  ☆

#carnival amnesiac #fuck yeah that’s real

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Reblog so everyone can hear what they need.

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i love this type of post

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Why is your OC named what they're named? Is there a different reason in-universe than out-of-universe?

#Jhara (Jharanna) is named after her paternal grandmother #Fish (Fish in the River) is named after the fact that she loves to romp around in a river and catch fish like a bear #Dionna stole her mother’s name when she fled the military after all of her friends died and she believed it was her fault #(can’t remember where her birth name Orikka comes from) #Athena was named after the goddess because her parents were eccentric classical scholars #Juliet took her moniker from Romeo and Juliet because she was in a coma for a while and when she woke up her girlfriend was dead #Roseliene also stole her missing girlfriends name #hadn’t realised that parallel before #S.C.R.A.P.S. is an abbreviation of her full designation — Saiph’s Call Remote Automatic Piloting System #I think that’s all the ones with in-universe reasons for being called what their called #but ultimately all of my characters’ names are what they are because I thought they sounded cool #wrong for of ‘their/they’re’ in a previous tag but I’m not changing it now

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‘Not that I’ve been spying on you or anything’ so anyway I owe Johnny Chiodini my life now

#i screamed #as if that’s at all a surprise #I know we already know she was scrying on them #but the way she said it got meeeeeeee #☺️ #oxventure #oxventure spoilers

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I’M GOING TO EAT DRYWALL, if you even care

#oxventure #Jane gets it #I’ll rest easy in the fact that Jane gets it

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So, we got to see everyone's stats and I noticed something... Egbert is the only one actually wearing any armour.

#wait you’re kidding right? #I know they had armour on because they made a point that’s everyone’s AC dipped in Dine Harder because they didn’t have any of their gear #did they take their armour off on the honeymoon and never put any back on? is Merilwen still walking around in a grass skirt? #the implications of this are wild #oxventure

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if loving you is Brink, i don't wanna be Bronk

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More things I hate about modern literature because today is a bad day and I need to be a dick online to feel better:

How much sex there is in everything

And again I am not a prude, erotica has existed for decades and it's okay but every popular YA or adventure book nowadays is a bad erotica with some low stakes adventure in the background

And somehow they are able to be both bad porn and bad adventure

And also people will promote those books as " yes the plot kinda sucks but there's good sex scenes"

The word Mary sue

The misuse of the word Mary sue

Any attempt to make a "LOTR inspired" book made by a man

Because usually the things that made LOTR good go just over the authors head and we end with basically a vin diesel movie set in the middle ages

This is not just about modern literature but books about or set in horrible moments for a oppressed minority(like holocaust or slavery) written by people who aren't part of said minority

Coleen hoover

She did for feminist literature what Seth MacFarlane did for adult animation

The harry Potter/Percy Jacksonification of children's literature

The magical choose one trope being taken to a magical world did irremediable damage to children's literature

The mean girl trope

Books set in fictional middle ages but the protagonist go to balls in fashion show modern runaway style dresses

You know the tacky Pinterest glittery showing shoulders back and leg

Those official arts of the same exactly white women and the same white guy in slightly different clothes with the same 2016 style eyebrows and the sharp jawline and the nothing expression

Characters being described as "golden skin" so depending if the author needs some representation points they can be interpreted as people of color but if no one says nothing they stay as just tan white

Comparing dark skin color to any food

How many authors try to make at the same time "this is brainless wish fulfilment fantasy about being desired by a hot dominating guy" and " this is a profound take about the horrors of abuse"

Usually by having the second love interest to abuse the protag

In the end the message that stays is any abuse is forgivable if the abuser is hot enough

The "I'm skinny but not hot super model skinny I am ugly skinny my bones show because of malnourishment"

"yet I don't feel any other effect of starvation like being weak and I can carry five times my body weight in whatever animal the author needs me to hunt in the beginning of the book because making me a farmer wouldn't be cool"

"I am ugly" cried the skinny girl with locks of auburn hair porcelain white skin and eyes of emerald green.

The jk Rowling stupid name school (she named the werewolf Wolfy mcwolf in Latin and people though it was smart now we have a girl who fights on a island named island and the archer who marries a fae named fae archer )

And again faes because fuck faes

#all of my coworkers are reading one of those terrible fairy porn books and won’t stop talking about it #which is fine I guess but they keep insisting I read it #I’m getting to the point where I’m just going to outright tell them they have shit taste

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I’ve got a magical seal.

#the way you can see Mike considering the joke is very good #oxventure

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your mileage may vary if you don’t have a character called Fish in your group but I would highly recommend diagnosing your dnd party with ‘women want me fish fear me’ hats

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The final LADS LADS LADS begins

#oxventure

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they call me stu, on account of all my strollin'

#I have not thought about *~the stu’s~* in a long time but I really needed this today

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me: hey so how far does your 'all-seeing' sight extend?

the many eyed creature in my basement: ARE YOU ASKING BECAUSE YOU TRIPPED ON YOUR OWN SHOELACES IN THE FOYER AND FELL ON YOUR FACE?

me: oh... so you saw that... :(

the many eyed creature (trying to be nice): ................ NO.

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I’ve got so much re-plotting to do…

#oxventure #Crushing Defeat I love you but damn sometimes you feel unfinishable