snakenuggers

[snakenuggers]

Bruised heart

[snakenuggers]

If I were the last person on Earth, what would I do… I reckon it’d be all quiet. No cars, no footsteps, nothing but the steady hum of electronics, and emptiness, for mortal eternity. What would that be like? Dismal? It is a void after all, devoid of human touch, interaction and presence. But maybe, I could find peace in a silence like that. The murmurs in my head might not quiet down, yet if they do I fear the hum will slice into my canals, deep and swift, and the red will trickle out and down, red, blood, red… But with red, comes peace. Three red cars on the highway, they move no more. No bicycles weaving in and out of traffic, no puffs of fumes wafting out of metal tunnels. No more jogging along the pathways, no more sliding down hollow cylinders of yellow, and blue... I had a green cylinder once. It was rough, but smooth. Paradoxical, but if you think about it, it’s quite like an avocado. I loved it, but it now resides in the depths of my mind, with the other Forgotten Memories, but I digress. Mortal eternity in solitude is not easy to imagine; I often say that I thrive in solitude, but this might not be the truest after all. What do I do, if there isn’t a soul in sight or in mind? Chats will be silent forevermore, as I stare into the screen waiting on a response that will never arrive. It’s silly isn’t it? The more you isolate yourself, the more you start to wonder if there is anything better than just you and you alone in the world. I can’t deal with that.

27.8.23

(random thought spew lolol)

[snakenuggers]

[TUNNEL]

I see it in your eyes. You’re scared, don’t be. Everything will be okay.

A long time ago, I thought that life was an eternal joyride, that the ends of the universe were seamless and that everything that soured would sweeten again. Now I know that life is an endless tunnel labyrinth, that the universe is so small and that sour always remains a bitter pill to swallow.

I’ve been walking for as long as I can remember, down the twists and turns of this tunnel that I’m in. The more I walk, the more my memories fade, but I am still haunted by the echoes and whispers of the steps I once took. Will they ever leave? No one knows, but I think not, for they have latched onto my soul with their gentle claws, invisible and unshakable. Now, I have become an empty shell, mindlessly ploughing on just because it is a one way path. These years of trudging on and on have made me weary, and I know that if I push forward, the same twists and turns will follow me to the end of time. Left, right, left...

There is a canyon beside this narrow path my feet balance on, it is vast. Sometimes a stream of water sparkling brighter than a thousand suns flows through, singing its lullaby. When that happens, walking just doesn’t feel right, so I start speeding up, running, sprinting and I can almost see the light at the end... and the water disappears. Sometimes the canyon tears apart into a massive fission, deep dark and bleak. But for some reason, it is enticing. It serenades me, beckoning me to fall. I often find myself wondering, what’s down there? Perhaps that’s the end of the tunnel. Would you believe? I’ve almost jumped in before. Twice, I’ve sat with my legs swinging off the ledge of the path, staring down into the innite abyss of black. I could never do it. And now, the fissure hasn’t reappeared since my last thousand steps. Maybe next time.

Once in a blue moon, I receive a letter. These letters are one of, if not the only things I look forward to every time. Each letter is slightly different, but one thing always remains the same. When opened, a burst of colour will flood the air, setting fire to the walls. Huge, gleaming flames will lick whatever they touch, consuming nothing but the cold dismal gloom. In flames, messages lie, awaiting. They tell me about the outside world, and though I can’t see it, I can smell – the freshly cut grass atop a hill; feel – the drops of salty water pelting my skin; hear – the shivers of the wind as it breezes by.

It sends a wave of electrifying wonder down my spine, and I can’t help but wish that I can see it for myself. Or maybe, just maybe, none of this is real. Maybe there is no outside world, and all there is to life is this maze. In that case, I would like to laugh in the face of life, laugh and then cry a bit and laugh again till I can no more. Why? Perhaps I’m too delirious with pain and sadness, or perhaps my dreams are simply too big and I’ve now realised no dream is worth chasing.

And perhaps you’re right, I’m scared. Trepidation resides in my joints, and with each step I take it multiplies. I fear facing the fact that walking might be all I’ll ever do, and that if there is something outside of this tunnel, it’ll be nothing like what I envisioned.

But you’re wrong too. Look around. Nothing will ever be okay.

23.7.23

[snakenuggers]

Star x Tom 🥺

#svtfoe #star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe fanart #star x tom

[snakenuggers]

Have you heard of the Heart Potion? I hear it does magical things, wondrous things, things you would not have thought a mere potion could do. I hear it can mend broken hearts, even the most shattered of hearts. On the other hand, it can lead you to the person you desire the most; a lover, or perhaps a soulmate? Well I don’t know if it is true for it’s mainly just hearsay, but still, it’s quite something to ponder about… But, it’s not in the slightest bit easy to acquire it. I hear you have to follow the creek along the border of the forest till you reach a crossroad, and there you’ll see a bus waiting. When you take the bus and alight in front of a cottage at the edge of a cliff, you’ll meet an old woman whose hands your fate will now lie in. I can’t say much about the woman, except that she is slightly creepy and a very, very dangerous person to mix with. I don’t know this for sure either, but the recounts don’t lie (I presume). Unfortunately as with all good things, there are terrible consequences when you deal with the old woman. For every bit of joy you experience after your heart’s repaired and whole, a portion of your life essence is unknowingly drained from you until weeks later, when all that has been drained and you are nothing more than a walking soulless carcass. I get chills down to the bone just thinking about it… People do the craziest things for love and heartbreak, I guess there’s no worse pain than falling into your own loneliness or feeling your heart rip to pieces each time you take a breath. I get it. But, if you ever need to, we could watch the sun set as we sit in silence, feeling without words. Just stay away from the Heart Potion at all costs, lest you lose yourself…

[snakenuggers]

Rat: I’m going to call it a night, have a good night.

No one replies, and Rat leaves the party. Outside, he draws in a deep breath and tilts his head upwards, closing his eyes. His heart is pounding, rattling his ribs as he tries to steel himself. Deep breath out. Strangely, he feels nothing, nothing at all. One more look back towards the barn, where raging music and bouts of laughter fill the air. He turns back and walks away.

He ends up at a bar, it is empty. He sighs and gets himself a drink. Slumped at the corner of the bar, he just downs his rainflower juice glass after glass. There isn’t anything he can do really, except be left alone with the dark thoughts lurking in his mind—

Ghost: Would you… care for some company?

Rat: …

Rat: I guess you could join me, but I’m sure your time can be spent a lot better doing other things. Like partying down at the barn. Instead of hanging around me.

Ghost takes a seat next to Rat, leaving a distance between them.

Ghost: Don’t mind if I join you then.

Rat looks down, trying to think of his next step. He isn’t good at communicating, it stresses him out. But at the same time, he does want to talk to Ghost. Just a little bit. He hesitates, and after a good few minutes of thinking really hard, he holds out a glass of rainflower juice and looks away. Ghost takes it, his surprise melting into a small smile.

Ghost: Thank you.