smokeweedlovejesus

[smokeweedlovejesus]

i'm not my age. i don't fit my body. it's too big for me, this all happened too fast i'm still a child. i never had a chance, i just need more time.

[smokeweedlovejesus]

i am a fucking angel (griping the sink until my knuckles turn white, bleeding, staring at myself in the mirror and seeing nothing)

[smokeweedlovejesus]

life is not constant suffering. sometimes you get to love and be loved in return

[smokeweedlovejesus]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[smokeweedlovejesus]

this cunt world keeps turning

[smokeweedlovejesus]

😍 my fuckin boyfriend god damn

[smokeweedlovejesus]

Now I just abuse substances to drown out your accomplishments

#the story so far #resentment #jealousy

[smokeweedlovejesus]

☹  why  ☹

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SXzAywiOsY

[smokeweedlovejesus]

cant believe it's 31st january already. whats next, the rest of the year? i think not

[smokeweedlovejesus]

men are made to be shoved and grabbed and thrown around and pinned down. god told me that

[smokeweedlovejesus]

as soon as the internet decided depression and anxiety were the everyman mental illnesses and therefore not to be taken seriously we were all fucked tbh bc the fact that i have to feel embarrassed to admit i have debilitating anxiety because people will think im just an uwu dont call me out coward is ridiculous. its insane that i have to clarify that my depressive episodes are like life threatening and not whatever dipshit dumbed down idea of depression people seem to have like oh yeah i just wanna watch netflix and eat ice cream and not text people back. like bro i think im the devil

[smokeweedlovejesus]

[smokeweedlovejesus]

everyone's like "what do you do for fun?" nothing i haven't had fun since 2009

[smokeweedlovejesus]

[smokeweedlovejesus]

missing you

feels like an ache in my bones,

as if this body without you

is two sizes too small.

i wish i could stop

holding out for hope,

picking up on small things

and swearing you must still feel it too;

but it’s like missing a piece of myself

and i can’t be expected to run right

if i’m incomplete.

for so long i’ve loved you

that now it is just like breathing,

and i can’t be expected to survive

without oxygen.

for so long i’ve cherished you

that asking myself to stop

caring, looking, loving—

feels disingenuous

to my very being,

this creaking body

has only ever known

your ache,

and i wish i could stop

hurting, crying, wishing—

but i will never not

because missing you

is just the love

i’m still allowed to give you.

[smokeweedlovejesus]

Quote by Caitlin Conlon

[smokeweedlovejesus]