sllhouettedreams

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I realise that ageism in fandom is, in the grand scheme of things, the least concerning thing about the fandom experience but I need to say this: all you baby adults on here need to calm down and let the real grown adults have their fun too without you hopping in their ask box’s calling them names. You’re going to get old too, okay? The years pass, you will hit thirty and beyond at some point and that’s a good thing! And when you do, you’ll still want to look at pictures of your blorbos and talk to strangers about who you want them to fuck and how they should do it. Life is hard enough right now, getting old and having a job/family/kids/responsibilities won’t change your love of fiction. I just hope that when you do hit those milestones, you will be allowed to do so in peace without being shamed for it by some terrified idiot hiding behind the anon feature.

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expandable list of my favourite dialogue tags/descriptors

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Cult Tips for AFTG writers

notes from the resident ex-cult pastor

If you’re in the cult, there is nothing bizarre abt what’s happening and in fact the normal stuff that happens outside of it is what’s bizarre to you. Target? Weird. McDonald’s? Even weirder. I can like guarantee Jean and Kevin never had McDonald’s until they left the Nest.

When you leave, you’re gonna be paranoid as fuck. All the time. Ngl at least for weeks but sometimes for years. Nightmares and insomnia 24/7. Hallucinations too lmao Riko is in every corner of empty rooms and you can hear his voice echo in the confines of the lockers.

I see a lot of Jean wanting to go back to the Nest, but not a lot of Kevin wanting to go back. He definitely struggled, 100%. In fact when he was in the pits of agony from his broken hand, was when he probably wanted to go back the most. Cult is home, cult is safe. Four walls you’ve always known and while it’s a cage at least it’s dependable. They hurt you but by god it always works out and the reward of pushing through this tragic incident is greater than the terror it caused in the first place. It’s a gift, actually. A gift from Riko. He saved Kevin. Cults save you. Cults make you wanna return to them like damn homing pigeons bruh. Give me more shattered hand Kevin screaming at Wymack to let him go back home and having a breakdown when he’s denied fics thanks

Piggybacking off the last one: cults are saviors; you’re nothing without them and they make sure you truly believe that; that everything that is done to you is for you and you’re blessed for it to be happening. You’re lucky even, to be allowed in it. Everything is as it’s supposed to be and order must never be challenged, because it works, and you’re the Edgar Allan Ravens, and this is the most honorable place you could be. All the pain you go through is you earning the right to be saved and to prove your worth every day on court. Only the worthy are honored.

You justify everything that happened and you will start fights and get angry with people who try to correct you and tell you it was wrong what went on.

On the other hand, you blame yourself for everything ever that happened there whether you were at fault or not. Hurting others, hurting yourself, gaslighting the fuck out of yourself over things maybe you could’ve prevented and over things you never could’ve stopped. The guilt is crippling and it eats you alive and haunts you.

There’s a lot of shame too. I see more guilt written than shame but shame is a huge portion of emotions that cult survivors have. Shits embarassing dude like “god how did I end up thinking this wack ass shit was normal” 😐 Shame comes later in the healing process usually, it’s after you have come to terms with shit that’s happened and you understand it. Looking back, you go “Jesus fucking Christ that was a red flag what the hell. Should’ve left then, or then, or then, or then” and then you’re just plain fuckin embarrassed.

Please look up how hive minds and brainwashing are created and work; also Stockholm Syndrome; understanding these would be incredibly helpful tbfh.

Diets are big; everyone eats the same thing; food is used as a reward and a punishment.

Hype hype hype. They whip up a frenzy of one singular emotion and use that to push you into a blind hysteria because you’re more suspectible to their influence when you’re out of your mind.

Drugs. Depends on the cult. But yeah these little bitches can be a huge factor for shit and can help with the brainwashing and hysteria and stockholm. Sometimes you don’t even know you’re being drugged or poisoned until you leave.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT. Dehumanization and then being treated like a person again can be traumatic as fuck yall!! Holy shit! Sometimes it feels worse than being dehumanized!

EDIT AGAIN: you don���t know what mental illness is !! Cults don’t fucking tell you these things lmao. if you show symptoms it’s your fault. Kevin being depressed his mom died was gonna get blamed on him and he was never going to be told grief is normal and it’s okay to be insanely sad. Jean also never got told his anger was correct or his trauma responses to being raped were realistic! They just got blamed for any reactions ever that weren’t neurotypical !! that is all; do with that what you will.

Idk if I think of anything else I’ll write another one but that’s all for now; I haven’t slept much lmao 🫡

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obsessed with jean’s colorful insults/descriptions so here’s a compiled list of them in order

you arrogant fool (abby)

you imbecile (kevin)

your ball-battered brain (kevin)

you feckless child (kevin)

those clowns (trojans)

pet goalkeeper (andrew)

the tiny bastard (neil) [LMFAO]

kevin’s pet monster (andrew)

the sunshine court [derogatory]

wholesome in an unsettling, unhealthy way (the trojans)

unhinged optimist (renee)

some plump shrink (bee)

that creepy little goalkeeper andrew minyard [PLEASE i was fucking DEAD he has no idea how funny he is]

you tedious malcontent (neil) [probably my favorite one]

an abominable cockroach (neil)

the wayward child (neil) [jesus christ he is not taking it easy on neil]

andrew’s twin

worthless trash bags (foxes, past tense)

a rabid little fox (neil) [hey. remember when neil described andrew as a ‘rabid goalkeeper’ ???]

annoyingly easy to look at (jeremy)

strange and misguided (the trojans)

the cruelty of these nonstop temptations (kevin, renee, jeremy)

the sunshine court [less derogatory]

“I was hoping he would bite his tongue off in the fall and save us both some grief in the long run.” (lucas)

wretched beast (gr****n)

your ignorant mouth (lucas)

“Your apologies are as useful as perfume on a frog.” (lucas)

neil, being the person he was,

you ignorant child (neil)

miserable wretch (neil) [giving his everything to neil’s insults]

ok that’s all. unless i missed some. and if i did you have to add them it’s just law

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neil josten is just a feral little creature and this book showed us even more how fierce and cunning he can be but also - how kind he is??? he literally was so kind to jean in all of their interactions, even when he was being ruthless there was this underlying kindess and oh my god i love him

#its impressive isnt it how easily these monsters die in the end #promise me i promise #i didnt know you had a sister spoken so softly it was barely a whisper #oh it makes me sick it makes me want to hurl i am indeed so torn up the insanity i feel how can i ever become normal again

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no because if i think about it too long im going to cry. like as insane as it was, neil putting out that hit was the first time someone had ever successfully protected jean without expecting anything in return.

kevin was a bystander in the nest and zane only watched his back so long as it was convenient for him, and then betrayed him without a backward glance. renee wanted to protect jean but by the time she got to him, the damage was done and jean was already at death's door. all she and abby, wymack and bee could do was pick up the pieces and put him back together again.

but neil motherfucking josten saw that jean was in danger and said "i can do something about this" and he just did it. no questions asked.

i can't wait for that to become jean's new normal. I can't wait for the trojans to pick up where neil left off. jean has people who will watch out for him now. people who care and will do whatever they can to keep him safe simply because they want to.

#its impressive isnt it how easily these monsters die in the end #that line on loop in my head

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The Sunshine Court

Nora Sakavic's twt announcement × TSC

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#aripiprazole

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this was a great read. “Laziness Does Not Exist” by Devon Price

#devon price has a rly good book called unmasking autism too #i am going to try and get my hands on this one next

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i’m sorry about kidnapping your boyfriend so we could give the fbi false testimony. yes, i tried to feed him, he thinks thai is too fattening and wouldn’t have any. i also put out a hit on his rapist

#tsc spoilers #neil josten the man that u are

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terms that jean uses for neil in the sunshine court:

tiny bastard

tedious malcontent

abominable cockroach

#tedious malcontent is my fave tbh

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#genre #then by if I've read them #if I've read them i have a favorites first #if i haven't read them then it's be author

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the kevneil arguing dynamic is deeply important to me theyre like 2 chihuahuas yapping at each other. like 2 flies buzzing at each other and then hitting the windows

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That video of a hockey player stealing some fans phone is so fox coded

#marchy is so #i wanted to say matt coded . then nicky coded #but hes kind of a menace incomparable #hes violent in a silly goofy way so lets just say matt

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i love that neil spends majority of aftg being like omg they cannot find out that there is something wrong with me i have to be normal. and everyone who interacts with him is like Bro what the fuck is wrong with you

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‘Love is the one thing that we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space.’

“Eulogy from a Physicist” by Aaron Freeman, with quotes from Interstellar by Christopher Nolan, and images from NASA, Interstellar, Getty, Petrichara, and Reuters.

1- NASA: GOODS-South.

2- NASA: NGC 1850.

3- NASA: Iberian Peninsula.

4- Christopher Nolan: Interstellar.

5- NASA: From the Earth to the Moon.

6- Hannah La Folette Ryan: Subway Hands.

7- Adams Evans: Heart Nebula.

8- NASA: Exploring the Antennae.

9- NASA: Crescent Moon from the International Space Station.

10- Petrichara.

11- Getty Images.

12- NASA: SMACS 0723.

13- Reuters