slimywren

[slimywren]

The two year-old is now a solid two and a half. Just now, he was sitting on the couch playing with his pretend flip phone and he frowned and said “for gods sake. My battery is empty.”

The other day at breakfast I asked him if he was going to eat any more of his oatmeal and he said “no, I think I’m just gonna move on with my life.”

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THE LAST DAY GUYS

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I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

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I, as a 26 year old adult in 2024, just had a nightmare about slenderman trying to get me. Come on.

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on this day, 6 yrs ago, bruno mars was surprised to see pete wentz

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alright guys im curious. who were the worst mutuals youve ever had

#shitty ex irl friend who has no way of contacting me now i think

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could be named joseph arrr biden and would almost certainly snag the pirate vote... wouldnt make stuff better tho

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If you're lamenting the fact that you used to be able to shoot through a 500-page novel in like a day when you were in middle school and now you can't, it's worth bearing in mind that a big part of that is because when you were in middle school, your reading comprehension sucked. Yes, mental health and the stresses of adult life can definitely be factors, but it's also the case that reading is typically more effortful as an adult because you've learned to Ponder The Implications. The material isn't just skimming over the surface of your brain anymore, and some of the spoons you used to spend on maximising your daily page count are now spent on actually thinking about what you're reading!

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james bites his hands until he’s bruised and bleeding to try to keep from crying out while being hauled. bridgens is the first one with him when he finally does and, in the next hours, bandages his hands before holding them at the end.

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when I see something dated 2019 I think “oh that’s not too long ago” and then I remember that 2019 was not only five years ago but those five years have somehow contained several lifetimes

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Oh and if literal grass-touching IS viable, I also advocate for touching invasive grass. Many parks in the US have invasive plant removal volunteer work days. You get some air and some exercise and you can talk to other volunteers if you want or you can just march off into the trees on your own and start wreaking havoc with various hand tools. If you want to do something that is both useful AND destructive, I have found nothing better

[slimywren]