slasherslimes

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It’s actually messed up how few people know about that shit, please look it up if you aren’t aware because it’s fucked and it deserves to be known

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Me: yeah I've been eating nothing but buckshot for like six days is that gonna be a problem?

Nurse who runs the MRI machine: Duuude this is gonna be so cool

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idk y’all should treat fat men better. and i don’t mean mildly chubby guys i mean honest-to-god love-handles-and-double-chins fat guys. stop calling them shit like discord mods or gross weebs or nasty creeps or neckbeards or that they’re stinky or sweaty or beer bellied or whatever else. fatphobia isn’t cute, even repackaged in a neat little box of “ew men”

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scientist voice: today i will be a dick to this cricket 

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a while ago i saw an anti-cnc meme that went something like "if your boyfriend learns not to stop at "no", do you really think he's gonna stop at Pineapple?" and ive been thinking about it a lot. like, it assumes that words have some kind of mystical meta-meaning that persists in all contexts, that if we discard the word "no" we also discard the concept of saying no in a symbolic sense. It's a lingually prescriptivist argument in disguise.

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apologize to him

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If you Catholic mfers were really so interested in God's design you would develop a theological appreciation of beetle biology.

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jeff the unaliver doing tiktok dances over my dead body after stabbing me thirty eight times in the chest

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I think it’s funny when fans are shocked people saw mcr in 2005 for $20… like yeah you too can go see a future world famous band at a local venue for $20 right now

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the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck

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chrono triggered. is this anything

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You, an edgy mall goth: Personal Jesus by Marilyn Manson

Me: an even edgier mall goth: Personal Jesus by Mindless Self Indulgence