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Lactose: e-excuse me...

Stomach: hey, what do we have here? Some goddamned lactose!

Small intestine: we don't like lactose here, ya know? You're gatecrashing a very private party!

Large intestine: (pushes him, making him stumble) there's two ways you can leave here... The easy way, or the hard way. What's it gonna be?

Lactose: but I...

Lactase: (deep voice) step back, everyone. (walks up and puts his arm around lactose's shoulders) he's with *me*

Large intestine: lactase?!

Small intestine: b-but you're both...

Lactase: I *said* he's with me. You got a problem with that?

Stomach: (finishes sizing him up) right. Course not. It's cool, lactose. Just don't cause any *problems*, you hear?

Lactose: I-I w-

Lactase: you don't have to answer that, babe. Just keep walking

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my beautiful wife Prev Tags is back. btw. she's in the meatball menu they put her in the meatballs.

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i definitely think minecraft won't be the game for everyone in the end and that's just how things are no problem but i do think *some* people who don't get the hype of it just need to play with their friends and build a house with them. its also for doing things like this.

#i wish i had friends to play minecraft with

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bisexual woman with her cishet boyfriend but her cishet boyfriend is a robot thats built like an ATM

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flag of bisexual transgenderism

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TikTokers are such pussies when it comes to ships. “B-but they’re not canon 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😖😖” honey back in my day we shipped characters from entirely different medias uphill both ways in the snow

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Adult life is full of so many filters you need to change out. You’re probably forgetting to change out a filter right now.

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Why is the yasseline more

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everybody give it up for this brand of green. round of applause for most under appreciated green

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eagerly awaiting the reveal of what political science 101 concept is she going to stop the plot to teach middle schoolers about. we got bread and circuses we got the extended work on thomas hobbes my money is on haymitch starting this book as an objectivist and having to unlearn that in the face of true struggle

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Four things that are 100% true and you should think about if you haven't already:

You don't have to be a boy if you don't want to

You don't have to be a girl if you don't want to

You can be a boy if you want to

You can be a girl if you want to

This isn't a joke. This is reality. Have you considered these facts? If not, maybe take a moment to think about it. How's your gender doing? If you don't like it, it can be changed. Hell, even if you do like it, maybe you'd like something else more?

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dreaming of purple skies ₊˚ ☾ . ⁺₊✧

twitter ★ art prints ★ tip jar and wallpapers

#art

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they should invent new genitals to get during bottom surgery. cock and pussy are so overdone. i want a mass of writhing tendrils or something

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spiders have got to figure out contracting I need to be able to call my local spiders union and be like "hey can you send a guy out for a few days the fruit flies are back" and then pay it in spider currency. I'll learn the conversion rates. I'll be generous with my rounding. please.

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“75,603 people died of COVID in 2023 according to death certificates, which is certainly an undercount.

“Let’s compare this mortality with the deaths caused by dangerous, vaccine preventable diseases.”

Peak year deaths in the US (before the development of vaccines) adjusted for population:

Diphtheria: 8,070

Measles: 1,111

Mumps: 91

Pertussis: 20,346

Polio: 13,461

All five diseases combined: 43,079

“Last year over 75,603 Americans died of COVID. An undercount.

“We moved heaven and Earth to eliminate (in today’s numbers), 13,461 annual polio deaths; now we’re being told that accepting 75,000 annual deaths of COVID is simply something to “learn to live with”. Or even that it’s a good thing, simply because over 300,000 Americans died in 2021. Our metric for success should not be the deadliest year for infectious disease deaths in decades.”