sirigurudavehnameh

[sirigurudavehnameh]

scared af

[sirigurudavehnameh]

Never allow loneliness to drive you into the arms of someone you know you don’t belong with.

Unknown

[sirigurudavehnameh]

being kissed in your sleep and being pulled closer within cuddles is such a top tier form of affection

- takethisride

[sirigurudavehnameh]

muli kong narinig ang

isa sa mga minahal kong kanta, ilang taon

na ang nakalipas.

kinatok bigla ang puso ko

may parang init na gustong

kumawala mula sa mga himig

sa kabila ng mga liriko

nagsilbing luha ang pagdaloy

ng hamog mula sa bintana

ng sinasakyan kong bus

para sa nararamdaman ko

mula sa kantang ito

malayo pa

ngunit tuloy-tuloy pa rin

[sirigurudavehnameh]

Detox your mind

Separate Yourself from Negative Thoughts

“But we cannot simply sit and stare at our wounds forever.” –Haruki Murakami

We are not just our wounds forever. We are our daily breathing, smiles, work progresses, our food, energy, exercises, and our beliefs. Most of our time, we neglect all of these life matters. Preoccupied by the future that the present became heedless. Engaged in the fast-paced environment, working on for the future coming, mostly, forget to appreciate the beauty of time given. Optimism became pessimism, and everything contrast.

How would we detoxify our minds? How can we give time for ourselves to revitalize?

Mental cleanse is such an essential part of our living. Decluttering is not just about tidying your home or physical clutter; it is also clearing out your mind. Live your best life separating the goodness and the negativity in your life.

SELF-CARE

Often times, we are busy attending to our work, getting things done in our home and helping out others that we overlook ourselves from doing so. Self-care is a very important ingredient to sort out our life to the best of it.  

*set goals of what you want to pursue in your daily routine

*give your skin the best care you can have

*keep a journal record the things you’re proud of, the feeling of dread from a day, things that made you happy and such things that matters to you

*gratitude- write as long as you want to the things that you’re grateful for

*give yourself a nice warm bath after a long day

DIET AND EXERCISE

Although you may not the biggest fan of working out or exercising, there’s always a room for trying. Moving your body and toning it is very good for your physical and mental health. Make yourself productive that you wouldn’t let the negativity enter your mind again. Sweat all of the toxicity and absorb new nutrients from positive energy you just gain.

TECHNOLOGY: MOBILE AND SOCIAL MEDIA

Give space away from technology. We are now in the digital generation, surrounded of technology and our mental health just needed to get some rest from it. This is just so important, a detox from digital world.

*Clean out inboxes and sort messages and emails to folders and clear out your spam and bin.

*avoid scrolling through social media before 11 am and take that time to be productive

*unfollow unnecessary people that bring negativity

*organize apps in your mobile, delete old notes and unimportant contacts that lying around in your mobile memory

*have a night of technology-off; spend time with family, loved ones or even yourself

POSITIVITY

With all the above listed, it is important to focus on positivity. As we clear our mind and create new spaces, new thoughts can enter and let positive thoughts be the dominant.

*spend a day without complaint

*be grateful with the nice things that happen in a day.

*take time to observe people, their smiles and simple gesture of happiness and observe how it goes on you too.

*make someone smile or better is compliment a stranger

---This may be a challenge to you but I assure you that real growth will happen. It will be exciting and uplifting and you wouldn’t realize that you’re on your best life. You will just embrace yourself and say that you made it, and you are happy about it.

sulatnikulot

​

[sirigurudavehnameh]

umaga nanaman.

tumitilaok na ang manok sa may dako, heto at gising pa rin.

unti-unting nauubos ang tissue at nanunuyo na ang lalamunan sa katamarang kumuha ng tubig sa kusina.

akala ko'y tuloy-tuloy na ang pagbawi ko ng tulog nitong mga nakaraan.

binabagabag nanaman ng isipan. hirap makatulog.

dalawang buwan na. paano na ba ito?

tubig!

sige kukuha na nga ako.

[sirigurudavehnameh]

komplikado. kahit na buhay ka pa rito sa lupa, ‘di mo na alam kung saan ka mapupunta.

Minsan mapapaisip kana lang na after this life kapag namatay ka ano na ang kasunod?

Impyerno?

Purgatory

Langit?

Reincarnation?

O mawawala na lang na totally?

Sa totoo lang ang hirap talaga isipin ang mga concepto ng kamatayan.

[sirigurudavehnameh]

nangingilid na...

Nananahimik ang gabi, at ganoon rin ako. Kanina lang nakatulala akong nakatingin sa labas at sa kawalan. Dilaw ang ilaw na kumukundap-kundap na at maririnig ang tunog ng telebisyon ng aming kapitbahay. 

Ano nga ba ang nilalaman ng isip ko? Ano ba ang bumabagabag? 

Bakit tila ambigat? May gustong kumawalang sigaw mula sa dibdib ko ngunit hindi ko alam kung papaano ito ihihiyaw. Wala akong maramdamang emosyon at nahuhumaling sa katahimikan. 

Paminsan-minsa’y ako’y napapasandal mula sa aking pagkaka-upo, mapapapikit at ramdamin ang malamlalm na dampi ng hangin mula sa bentilador.

Kay sarap ng katahimikan, payapa at malaya ang puso. 

Saya pala itong nararamdaman ko.

Katahimikan lamang ang naging tugon ng aking katawan sa kalugurang ito.

Napatingin akong muli sa bintana, mas nakita ko ang katotohanan, Ako’y napangiti at nasambit ng aking puso’y “salamat”.

[sirigurudavehnameh]

[sirigurudavehnameh]

This is the time i wanna feel something.

Hindi ko alam kung ano yung nararamdaman ko kanina, ang bilis ng heart beat ko, nangingilig ang kamay ko at pakiramdam ng buong katawan ko, yung isip ko parang nagsasayaw ang kung ano anong mga bagay na nagpapadown aa sarili ko, yung mata ko ay tulala, at ang pandinig ko ay ang hina. Gusto kong magsulat kanina pero walang lakas ang kamay ko na humawak ng ballpen. May parang nakabara sa lalamunan ko na kapag inilabas ko ay parang isusuka ko pati bituka ko. Gusto kong ngumiti pero kinakalaban ako ng nararamdaman ko.

Di ko alam kung hanggang dito na lang ba ako, o kung makakausad pa ba dito.

Di ko rin alam kung ano na lang ba ako.

Di ko rin alam kung may makakaintindi sa sinasabi nilang kababawan ng nararamdaman.

Hindi.

Hindi to kababawan.

Hindi mo nga ako maiintindihan dahil ang isip koy nalulunod na sa kalaliman dahil sa mga mabibigat na bagay na nagpapalubog sakin.

[sirigurudavehnameh]

May tanong ako sa mundo na hindi masasagot ng kahit sino, dahil ako mismo di ko alam kung pano.

Katulad na lamang ng halaga mo sa mundo, dahil para sayo ay wala ka namang halaga sa mga tao.

Katulad ng sinabi ng isang manunulat sa isang libro, para akong isang tagapangalaga ng isang malawak at blangkong museo, na kahit sino'y walang nagtatangkang bumisita, at ako, sarili ko lang ang gumagawa nito.

Para rin akong isang basura na tinapon sa dagat, sa isang pagkakataong gabing madilim na dagat, nandun ako palutang lutang, tinataboy ng alon mag isa.

[sirigurudavehnameh]

Gusto mo pero ayaw ng iba kaya ikaw, wag na lang.

Conformity. Such a word that i particularly hate when it is so negative. I dont know where and when the hell social standards originated. Is it in people's intinct? And is it formed to make hatred and detestation?

I personally hated my being. Yeah, that is real. Everyday i used to look at the mirror and kept fixing myself to look like the same other human out there who are "socially accepted"- the standards. I mean, the looks- hair, body shape, outfit, skin color, your face make-up, body scent-are the emphases of it. The environment or should i say the world is polluted: polluted with wicked persons. Somehow you will feel accepted, unaccepted, superior, inferior, and invisible. You make yourself beautiful just for the people, judgements are still there voicing behind you. You accept yourself as your own beauty, criticisms are also there echoing. You will never know where you should stand. The world is so loud now of all antagonism.

I accepted myself, i gain enough support from special persons and that lifted me. I am happy and contented. I genuinely smile for a reason for myself. Just like the previous post that i made here in tumblr, I blogged about self-acceptance, but!!!! I am here again, struggling towards it negatively. I dont know how it started again because it's torturing me. I still have people that supports me, specially someone that inspires me. IT IS FUCKING TOXIC! REALLY.

I just wanna make something about it. Im struggling but im fighting. Please world, please just create and share love.

sharing,

kaye

[sirigurudavehnameh]

nakakatulala

sa mga pagkakataong lumulutang yong isip mo dahil sa mga bagay na naglalaro sa iyong isip kasabay na doon ang pagwari kung sa realidad pa ba ng buhay naninirahan ang iyong isipan.

[sirigurudavehnameh]

“I have a million things to talk to you about. A million things we have to talk about. All I want in this world is you. I want to see you and talk. I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning.”

— Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

[sirigurudavehnameh]

“Every once in a while she’ll get worked up and cry like that. But that’s O.K. She’s letting her feelings out. The scary thing is not being able to do that. Then your feelings build up and harden and die inside. That’s when you’re in big trouble.”

— Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

[sirigurudavehnameh]

[sirigurudavehnameh]

“The best writing is certainly when you are in love.”

—

Ernest Hemingway

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