siobhanpls

[siobhanpls]

Would be cool if my bf would call when he said he was gonna call but that's just too much to ask for I suppose

[siobhanpls]

Lmaoo I definitely have a crush on this guy my friend fucked last week yikes!

[siobhanpls]

.

#literally why did i let myself think for 2 seconds this could work out #of course it wont no one ever wants me as anything more than a play thing #im really never gonna learn this fucking lesson

[siobhanpls]

If I could stop crying long enough to fall asleep I'd greatly appreciate it

[siobhanpls]

The longer he takes to decide what his feelings are, the more likely I am to decide for him and it wont be in his favor

#this is dramatic but ugh i dont have time to be anyones second choice at this point

[siobhanpls]

And here I am 1 day later admitting my feeling ajdjsjfjdjfb can I chill for a sec

Yeah I’m literally never gonna be vulnerable ever again that shit was stupid I’m done. Like why the fuck did he say that I really really liked him but God forbid I’m happy for once

[siobhanpls]

Yeah I'm literally never gonna be vulnerable ever again that shit was stupid I'm done. Like why the fuck did he say that I really really liked him but God forbid I'm happy for once

[siobhanpls]

I feel like shit all the time I hate my life

[siobhanpls]

That's rough Buddy how refreshing is the sex?

So with my ex I really stopped full enjoying the sex a while ago. It was ok every once in a while but I'd usually end up thinking about other stuff in the middle of it and overall just being bored. then with M it wasnt at all boring but it was utterly devoid of any personal connection. Hes also pretty selfish and overall just an annoying ass person and I rly only fucked him cause hes kinda hot and convenient. But with P we have talked about sex many times. Like we started sexting when we were 16/17ish lol but sexually we are very compatible, into the same kinks, and rly enjoy pleasing the other person. Plus there's definitely a level of emotional intimacy during and after the sex and hes a huge aftercare person which ive never been with before so hes like extra cuddly and sweet after sex and I didnt realize how much I would like that until he did it. It was so refreshing because I haven't enjoyed being with someone that much in a long time. Like you know when you dont feel gross after sex, you just feel happy and relaxed? That's what I'm talking about

[siobhanpls]

So P and I met irl for the first time this weekend after knowing each other/talking on and off for 6ish years and he was sooo cute and funny and sweet. He brought me chocolate and was like " flowers wouldnt survive the travel so I brought you chocolate happy valentines day" bitch it warmed my cold ass heart... but anyways I loved his personality even more than I did when we talked via text or call. Ugh dont get me started on the sex it was so refreshing. And he follows shuhvon and shuvsecret so I cant post about him there lol

[siobhanpls]

He lives kinda far away and I know I swore off long distance relationships but he makes me wanna tryyyyy

[siobhanpls]

God I missed emotional intimacy after sex. "P" is soooo sweet and controlling in the fun way during sex anyways I caught big ole feels and I have no idea if he feels the same way for me but I know he at least likes me a little cause he told me??? But damn I like him way more than I thought I would hes like.. everything I imagined he'd be like and more. For context I should mention P has been my mutual for 6 years and we just met up for a weekend lol

[siobhanpls]

I really fucking like this guys fuck fuck fuck fuck

[siobhanpls]

I’m def gonna delete this later bc it’s so personal but I have to write this out. So last night I cried after I had s*x with M not bc of anything wrong he did but there was (obviously) absolutely 0 intimacy after s*x and I realized not only do i miss that so f*cking much but I need it. Ugh I felt like sh*t afterward I just got up and left without saying a word.

[siobhanpls]

Fuck I'm so ready to get new d*ck or better yet... p*ssy I can't wait

[siobhanpls]

Well I guess its good that I'm hot again now of I gotta be single... will I be a whore? Or will I chill the fuck out? Hmmm

[siobhanpls]

I'm breaking up with him tomorrow night when I get back in town. I'm sure he knows it's coming tho we have barely spoken since I left on the 17th.

#fuck fuck fuck this is gonna be hard