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One of the things that makes arguing with men so much more draining than arguing with women is the unequal distribution of credibility and contribution.

Somehow, whenever I argue with men, it always falls upon me to both prove my own claims, and to disprove his, while he does neither; his only obligation seemingly to dole out whatever ungrounded assertions he conjures up on the spot. Somehow, it is always wordlessly established that anything I say is false until proven true, while anything he says is true until proven false.

This same dynamic happened again over on tiktok, when a man claimed women are just as violent as men. Automatically, almost as if by muscle memory, I offered up the usual statistics on male depravity: men constituting 99% of rapists, 99% of mass shooters, 98% of killers, 95% of serious domestic abusers. And his only response was to say those statistics were wrong. No elaboration; wrong simply because he said so.

I already knew how the entire conversation would pan out: I’d give him my source, he’d find a reason to discredit the source, then I’d scour the internet to find a source that suited his standards, which he’d inevitably find a reason to discredit too.

So instead I simply said, “Prove the statistics are wrong.” And that was the only thing I responded with henceforth: prove it, prove I’m wrong, prove you’re right. Thus reversing the dynamics and positing that anything I said was true unless he demonstrated otherwise; unduly putting all the onus on him while I did nothing other than decide whether he was convincing me of claims thoroughly enough—and if he wasn’t, it just meant I was winning, of course.

He blocked me, and so far so have all the other men I’ve used this approach on. I don’t know whether it’s because they couldn’t actually disprove my claims or because they couldn’t stand to be treated the same way they treat women in debates. But I think more women should do this. Stop wasting energy proving your points to men, and start making them prove theirs to you.

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This is for the people who didn’t party in their teens and twenties. For the people who didn’t have that “coming of age” movie experience with shenanigans and revelations. This is for the people who mostly keep to themselves. Who maybe prefer things to be quieter and gentler. This is for the people who don’t feel like they belong in a culture that values loud parties and flashing lights. I see you. And you are valid.

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Chicken and Shrek-green corn muffins

#My food #corn muffins #fried chicken #Geen

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Trying to enjoy weekend w hurt neck, sick, and on my period. Taking it easy.

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Pizza Wealth

#My food #Pizza

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#Cat #Imprisonment

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Barnacle geese by Peanut1371

#Bird #anseriformes

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BISON INSIDE TIME YAY

#Video #Bison

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my breakfast. Everything aches this morning.

#My food #Eggs #Toast

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Painting for my uncle's birthday

#Art #My art #female artists #artists on tumblr #painting

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Honeysuckle🌿🌼

#honeysuckle #flowers #Nature #Spring

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Making garlic parmesan lunches for the week

#My food #Pasta #chicken #Lunch #garlic parmesan #chicken alfredo

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Happy Earth Day🌎🦎

#earth day #animals #Nature #Lizard #wildlife #Texas #earth

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Went to next town over today, got an icee at buccees and chocolate croissant at panera, went to whataburger for bacon cheesedburger, fries, and cookie, and went to target and got boxers, new Digiornio first-of-its-kind🫨thin stuffed crust, and matching Frog and Toad shirts w my mom. I saw a bison🦬grazing with some domestic cattle on the way home. Had fried chicken and my croissant tonight while watching rifftrax

#My food #weekend #digiorno #Pizza #fried chicken #croissant #chocolate croissant

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I don't know what the post is about but. Sure it feels like it

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The Awakening: Florence Welch