sidshypotheticalife - Tumblr blog

sidshypotheticalife · 2 years

Text

who should the custody be given to? an interesting topic based on that one scene from before midnight

lets just say there's this couple. divorced years ago, due to their selfish abusive non healthy relationship- simply saying, didnt meant to be. they fight over the custody of this beautiful brunette dutch girl (daughter of theirs they used to raise in a beautiful authentic farmhouse lovingly and passionately) named max.

max is a cheerful, jovial person, the best you could ever imagine. she loves picking up those blooming flowers from their family garden, ones she and her dad has planted weeks before, giving them all for those she thinks deserved it. once she told ethan (her dad) to stop the car in the middle of a vacation, giving one of her greatest handmade creation- a bouquet of aster to this homeless poet she thought needing it the most.

ethan dedicates most of his life to this beautiful young creature. he gave up paychecks and depends on their family farm instead, aspire to watch the growth of max time to time, dont wanna miss any single thing, dont wanna be the only one who's left behind. being home is always his only option, it became his priority, even when the more he's home, the more fight he and jess had to get through. at the end it was finally through, no more fight, no more screaming, no more marriage.

jess is the one who's responsible for driving max on her way to school, ethan will be the one who picks her up later in the afternoon. it goes well and fair for more than 5 months. ethan takes the weekends, it was so much more than not seeing her at all. but then months later for whatever reason, jess requesting an official custody, it happens out of nowhere, too immediate, too sudden. ethan never anticipate things like this- never believe in an idea of separating his child from her mother, also the idea of being separated from his beloved child.

grieve is the only thing appears on ethan's head the time judges reveal their final resolution is that the holy custody is given to the mother, jess, period. papers and shit allows jess to bring max wherever the fuck she wants to. papers and shit left ethan nothing, its only papers and shit, it ruins ethan's life.

ethan's demons and angels started to whisper on his left and right ears like switching both different partial perspectives, pros and contras. jess is alcoholic. she's an addict. she's the abusive one on the marriage. she cant be the one taking care, she is the one to be taken care of. and at the other side, jess is the mother. she's the one that born with a motherly soul. she's the one who gave birth. she deserves max.

whats the point of a motherly soul if she's still so clueless about what she's going to do with her own pathetic life? what if we put aside that doubtful amount of her motherly maternal soul and think more of the fact that she's abusive? this doesnt make any sense to me, yet problematicly unsolvable. idk if anyone ever experience this in real life, but if there is any case like this, i dont know anymore.

would it be different from their perspective? would it be possible to handle the life of a beautiful young child while attempting to improve into a better, proper, appropriate mother all at once?

0 notes

sidshypotheticalife · 2 years

Text

just finished before sunset :)

my summary: salute for the plot consistency of the sequel. how they both finally realize that a short period relationship is all they have and deserve is what drives me nuts. from what i acknowledge this whole time, romance movies usually ended up with a loving kiss or else a dead person. big admiration to mr richard linkiater for making it remarkable. i spot writers nowadays, too scared to take the risk, bound to do the same thing, kind of sharing the same comfort in the happily ever after, like: make it happy ending, it'll sell, it'll sold, that's what people want.

cause i do believe sometimes we have to be notified, to be warned, to be told that love could be hard, love could be difficult, love should be complicated, those are the part of the game, love cant be selfish. we cant always refer to love as a blooming flower, cause love has thorns, love shall turn into an evil villain sometimes, it'll eventually hurts. love has all the proper amount of every emotions, try to embrace yourself to face it somehow someday.

my favorite lines: celine: i worked for an organization that helped villages in mexico and their concerns was how to get the pencils sent to the kids in those little country schools, it was not about discussing big revolutionary ideas about a better world- it was about pencils. i see the people that do the real work, and what in a way is really sad is really sad is that the people that are often the most giving , hard working and capable of making this world better dont really have the ambition and ego to be a leader, they dont see any interest in the rewards, they dont care if their name ever appear in the press, they actually enjoy the process of helping others, they are truly in the moment.

celine: not wanting anything... isn't it a symptom of depression? its very human to desire. i feel human when i want something more than just basic survival needs. wanting, whether its intimacy with another person or a new pair of shoes is kind of beautiful. i like that we have ever-renewing desires. jesse: i guess its just entitlement that brings all the pain. whenever you feel you deserve that pair of shoes, that your desires SHOULD be met. its alright to have wants and needs as long as you dont get angry when they're not realized. life is hard, its supposed to be, if we didnt suffer we would never learn a thing.

celine: it was unreal, i looked at her dead body in the coffin, i looked at her hands that used to hold me, so warm, so sweet, but nothing in that coffin resembled what i remembered of her. all the warmth was gone.

celine: i haven't changed much at all. jesse: i dont think anyone does. no one wants to admit it, but its like we have those innate set points, and nothing much is going to change our general disposition. i read about this study where they followed people that had won the lottery and people who'd become paraplegics. we're led to believe one would make us euphoric and the other suicidal. the study showed that within about six months, once they'd more or less gotten used to their new situation, they were fundamentally the same as they were before. jesse: if they were basically an optimistic, jovial person, they were an optimistic, jovial person in a wheelchair. if they were a petty, miserable person, they were now a petty miserable person with a new house, Cadillac and boat.

celine: people, buildings... i forget about how beautiful Paris is... sometimes when live in a city you dont even look at it anymore.

celine: i will miss of the person the most mundane things. like im obsessed with little things. maybe im crazy, when i was a little girl my mom told me i was always late to school, so one day she followed me to see why i was late. i was looking at chestnuts falling from the trees and rolling down the sidewalks or ants crossing the road, the way a leaf cast a shadow on a tree trunk, little things. it is the same with people, i see in them little details so specific to each of them that move me, that i miss and will always miss. you can never replace anyone because everyone is made of such beautiful specific details.

celine: i cant deal with the everyday life of a relationship, we have this exciting time together and then he leaves and i miss him but atleast im not dying inside. when someone is always around me im suffocating.

0 notes

sidshypotheticalife · 2 years

Text

lets talk about the movie before sunrise before i started to pull myself in to the trilogy

my summary: my first ever glance to this movie was probably on tiktok, and it screams basic, like literally. i have no fucking idea ab hows the actual whole story of the movie, i have no thoughts, no interest, not invested. but THAT VERY PARTICULAR EDIT makes my hopeless romantic instinct sparkles and all i know is two days ago, i was watching it. fuck the basic, fuck on being overrated. this movie brings me back alive.

i know romance movies are whatever they call cringe nowadays. but THIS MOVIE gave me most emotions i cant specifically tell by words. it just gain my standards in half good and some bad ways. i am always so amused by some kind of love story that digs love into different forms and terms, romanticizing it as if it is what it is.

by all the means i always wanted to me in a monogamous relationship with whoever it is lucky enough to be mine one day. and of course an intimacy within a proper amount of the liberty of being annoying, talking too much, tmis, being ugly, having full-faced makeup, switching aspirations, telling stories, and stuff. being not afraid of having some moment of silence, being not afraid of losing your temper, being not afraid of not having any subject to talk about.

celine and jesse have that kind of intimacy. celine and jesse OWN that. its their signature. thats what i envy and adore so much. they have an extremely healthy pack of trust and respect, so for whatever it takes, you'll never have any problem being you anymore, ill never have any problem being me anymore, its like the saying you're my best friend part of the song 'you are in love' by taylor swift. its like having yourself a home when you finally get to throw away all those guilts, all the fakes, all the imitations, all the lies, and just being told secondhandedly that you can be whatever you prefer to be now, you're safe here with me.

my favorite lines:

celine: have you ever heard that as couples get older they lose their ability to hear each other? supposedly men lose their ability to hear higher-pitched sounds and women eventually lose hearing on the low end. i guess they sort of nullify each other or something. jesse: must be nature’s way of allowing couples to grow old together and not kill each other, i guess.

jesse: that’s what i like about traveling - you can sit down, maybe talk to someone interesting, see something beautiful, read a good book, and that’s enough to qualify a good day. you do that at home and everyone thinks you’re a bum. celine: i like that though. but its like my favorite American writers. they describe everything you wouldn’t want to live through, and yet you cannot stop reading of this exciting, boring life.

celine: i kind of had this obsession a few years ago about creating a new form of expression. it was of course an abstract and lost quest, but i was feeling all art forms seemed used up. i was especially rejecting words. they seemed so rusted and dirty. and they’ve been used for such evil ends. sometimes, you know, language is so limited. its like… if you think about it… this is an individuals mental experience and perception and… this is how much can be expressed through language. we just don’t have words for so many of the impressions we have. so most of our life we will never be able to express to anyone.

celine: i'd say to my dad i wanted to be a writer and he’d say journalist. i'd say i wanted to have a refuge for stray cats and he’d say veterinarian. i'd say i wanted to be an actress and he’d say TV newscaster. it was this constant conversion of my fanciful ambitions into practical moneymaking ventures.

celine: if you have parents that never fully contradict anything you want to do and are basically nice and supportive, it makes it harder to officially complain. even when they are wrong. its this passive aggressive shit. i can’t stand it.

celine: i think i am afraid of death twenty-four hours a day. thats why im on the train. i could have flown to Paris. im just afraid of flying. even though statistics say its safer, i cant help it. when im sitting in a plane, i already can see an explosion, me falling through the clouds. im so afraid of the few seconds of consciousness before dying. i mean, when you know for sure you’re gonna die. i cant help anticipating the worst. like, i was in the park with this friend of mine. there were little kids playing around. this mother was throwing her child up in the air. my friend was smiling and thought it was so wonderful, and all i could think of was her dropping it. i could already see all the blood on the ground. the big panic, the mother crying… i think like this all the time. its exhausting.

celine: i think people go to places like Venice on their honeymoon to make sure they are not going to fight for the first two weeks of their marriage because they’ll be too busy looking around at all the beautiful things. thats what people call a romantic place somewhere where the prettiness with contain your primary violent instinct. a real good honeymoon spot would be like somewhere in New Jersey.

celine: i hate being told by strange men to smile, just to make them feel better about their stupid lives. i hate that three hundred kilometers away a war is going on. people are dying. and nobody knows what to do about it. i hate how the media tries to control our minds. its a new form of very subtle fascism. and i hate in a foreign country each time i wear black or lose my temper or express an opinion about anything, everyone always goes: “oh, its so French, its so cute.” oh, i hate that.

jesse: it seems like a lot of people are talking about past lives and all that. and even if you dont believe in that in a specific way, most people have some notion of an eternal soul, right? anyway, my thought was, if we all have our origins at the beginning of human history in some way, where did all the current souls come from? the earth’s population fifty thousand years ago was not even a million people. ten thousand years ago, it was only a few million. now, the earth’s population is between five and six billion. thats about a five-thousand-to-one split of each soul in just the last fifty thousand years, which is just a blip in the earth’s time. at best, we’re just a tiny fraction of a soul. is that why we all feel so scattered?

celine: oh, here she is. this is the one i remember the most. she was thirteen when she died. that meant something to me because i was that age when i saw this. now im ten years older and she’s still… thirteen, i guess.

celine: why does everyone think conflict is so bad? good things can come out of conflict.

homeless poet: daydream delusion, limousine eyelash oh baby with your pretty face, drop a tear in my wineglass look at those big eyes on your face, see what you mean to me sweet cakes and milk shakes im a delusion angel, im a fantasy parade i want you to know what i think, dont want you to guess anymore you have no idea where i came from we have no idea where we’re going lodged in life like branches in a river flowing downstream caught in the current ill carry you you carry me that’s how it could be don’t you know me? don’t you know me by now?

celine: no, but it’s my biggest fear. to be one of those people with that sort of academic, liberal, detached view of everything. that whole attitude has nothing to do with really living. jesse: who's to say what’s really living?

celine: whats that Thomas Mann quote? “i would rather participate in life than write a hundred stories.”

celine: i always feel like im observing my life instead of living it. at my grandfather’s funeral, even though i loved him, it seemed everyone else was mourning and i was too busy observing them; each of them was like a paragraph of a book i might write someday, describing every emotion in detail. jesse: i know. i remember when i was younger listening to my parents fight and feeling like i was in an after-school special on TV. thinking i should act moody, or depressed. i should steal some cigarettes and sunglasses, get caught, and then blame it on the fact that i come from a troubled home. celine: yeah, i think im always so much more happy with books and movies and stuff. i think i get more excited about well-done representations of life than life itself.

liz: no matter how empty the world seemed, no matter how degraded and used up the world appeared to be, anything was still possible.

celine: when you start talking about women and men, there’s no end. jesse: i know - its a skipping record. people have been trying to figure it out for millenniums. every artist has tried their hand at it… celine: and no one’s come up with anything.

the whole phone call scene :) i mean who doesnt add it as an ultimate favorite (im too lazy to type it all down)

jesse: see that guy? we'll never see him again. that was the one moment our lives intersect. celine: i always wonder about things like that. like, think of the bag he is carrying. i wonder what is in it. if you think he’s carrying a bomb to blow up the opera because he failed his audition for Don Juan, then his serious expression becomes this angry, vicious face. but if you imagine in his bag is a present for his young, dying wife, then he becomes this poor, sympathetic character who you want to give a big hug to.

celine: its a beautiful thing. i like the idea of dance as being a common function of life, something that everyone participates in.

celine: i really believe that if there’s any kind of god, he wouldn’t be in any one of us - not you, not me - but just this space in between. if there’s some magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone else, sharing something, even if it’s almost impossible to succeed. but who cares - the answer must be in the attempt.

celine: when you talked earlier about after a few years how a couple would begin to hate each other by anticipating their reactions or getting tired of their mannerisms, i think it would be the opposite with me. i think i can fall in love when i know everything about him - how he’s going to part his hair, or what shirt he’s going to wear that day, knowing the exact story he would tell in a given situation. im sure that’s when i'd know im really in love.

0 notes