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me & my ex wife in divorce court trying to get the dog to choose which one of us he wants to go with

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Had the funniest experience earlier of my swiftie coworker putting the new white girl breakup songs™️ album on the speaker at work and the moment she left the room long enough for her phone to disconnect from Bluetooth our older coworker immediately put on 10 hours of relaxing tibetan flute music instead and we all collectively sighed in relief

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I’m sorry if this is how you found out

#HUH ??

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They should make an alternate version of boba tea called kiki tea and its filled with spikes

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I’m so happy I got this shot earlier holy shit

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every day should be like i wake up & my first thought is a beautiful idea of a fun & new activity & i spend my day accomplishing it

#who doesnt

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there should be an episode of mob psycho where an orchestra somewhere is panicking because their conductor has been killed by an evil spirit and reigan shows up thinking he and mob would exorcise the spirit but mob doesnt show up for his own reasons so reigan calls him while standing in front of the orchestra. Mob doesn’t answer so reigan goes on to leave him a very long voicemail explaining the situation but while hes doing so, all his hand movements make the orchestra think hes the replacement conductor. And so they start playing to his hand movements which results in a shockingly stunning and unique performance from this orchestra. People talk about it forever. It goes down in history as a moment that changed music forever etc etc

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masturbation is evil not for any puritan anti-fun reason but because it has permanently claimed so many verbs

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oh yeah, with the new size limit for .gifs this thing can finally be posted

#i’ve never seen this before

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Welcome to Build-a-Frog!

Click here to enter

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dreamt I sat in on a tumblr product roadmap meeting and they gave a powerpoint presentation that was like "we know how we're gonna fix this: we're gonna make espeon competitively viable again"

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Time shifting

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I wanted this but the original poster is transphobic

#ref #inch resting

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apparently there is a thing called "wanting something" and when it happens to you you're allowed to just do the thing that you want. yep that's right. even when it wouldn't hurt anyone and would make you really happy. does anyone know anything about this

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do you think they would find each other in any universe