shieldrevive

[shieldrevive]

The implications of the super serum on his on his own lifespan doesn’t immediately occur to Steve.  Partially because he doesn’t think about it and partially because he doesn’t really understand the technology behind what was done to his body.  Had Bucky stayed around or even been there during the experiments, it’s possible his friend would’ve been able to explain.

It also doesn’t occur to Steve to ask before hand.  What’s important is the end result.  Nothing else.  Being stronger to help people; to fight and do his civic duty just like everyone else has the opportunity to.

He knows what he feels; that he’s hungrier, warmer, faster, stronger.  Stuff like that.  Even after he wakes up from the ice the mechanics of how aren’t on his mind.  He survived and now he has to deal with it.  Again.  None of that really means he understands the full capacity of his new body.  When advertised, he was supposed to be the wave of the future.  The new soldier.  Back during WWII that was a death sentence for a lot of people since the return rate was abysmal.

Being in a relationship suddenly means he has to think about what it is to be a super soldier with this serum infusing every cell in his body.  Along with everything else, that means he doesn’t age like a normal person.  Seeing Peggy on her death bed is an incredible wake up call.  If he lets himself fall in love there is a very good possibility that he’ll outlive them.  That is, unless he dies in battle.  At this point, his durability makes that a toss up because Steve is also a self-sacrificing fool.  Then again, he’s been the survivor and he hated how that felt.  It’s a guilt he still fights against.

This makes Steve incredibly hesitant to open himself up to new people.  Not only does a potential partner have to fight his fear of rejection and discomfort with his own body, they have to fight the way he overthinks.

#★ ✧･ﾟ : if only i had the strength to change your mind — headcanons

[shieldrevive]

         FIGHTING TECHNIQUE . pt 2 WWII

A very young and very sick Steve dabbled in boxing because he wanted a way to defend himself when bigger people tried knocking him down.  It was something his father did ( so his mother said ).  Therefore, it was something he was determined to master.  Didn’t matter what his body was capable of.  Steve was going to do it.  It came in handy.  The older he got and the more wrong he saw out in the street, the more a little Steve put his fists up, ready to fight whoever came his way.

This was refined after the serum when his body was more durable and his cognitive abilities had been sped up.  Most of this was done in the field with the Howling Commandos.

After Erskine’s death and Steve was handed over to the Department of Treasury to sell warbonds, he practiced gymnastics with the dancing girls.  There wasn’t really a necessity for it beyond his grieving.  Social interaction was still awkward and hard for him but it was a way to keep moving.  Plus, the more he did with the rest of the stage crew the more comfortable he became with the part of ‘ Captain America. ‘

Also while fighting across the European map to take down Hydra bases, Steve started the practice of Judo.  He learned some of the Buddhist philosophy behind the technique, finding solace in some of what was offered.  This is also the foundation for his later study of Jeet Kune Do for they both emphasize maximum efficiency for minimum effort.  Judo taught him not to resist his enemy but, instead, charge straight in to use the enemy’s movement against them.

#★ ✧･ﾟ : if only i had the strength to change your mind — headcanons

[shieldrevive]

          PTSD pt 1

Steve has PTSD.  Initially, it manifested as survivor’s guilt from Bucky’s ‘ death ‘ on the train.  Steve did, and still does, feel an incredible amount of guilt over that incident.  Not only does he feel responsible but the event constantly replays over in his head to analyze a number of variables to see where he went from.  He feels as if he should’ve died instead.  The super serum made him the ‘ perfect ‘ soldier for war.  It enhanced his analytical skills along with the rest of his cognitive function.  But the success of their initial skirmishes on the train made Steve reckless in a way that he’s never allowed himself since.

This compounded after Steve crashed into the ice.  He suffocated to what he thought was death.  All he could see was a faint glow of a world left behind.  Broken.  Bleeding.  In those last moments all he could think about was his failure as Captain America, soldier, protector, and as a best friend.  All he’d wanted was to go out into the battlefield and protect Bucky just like Bucky had always protected him.  But, he couldn’t even do that much right.  One slip up and James Barnes was gone, disappearing into the thick snow hundreds of feet beneath a bridge.

There were also thoughts of Peggy and how badly he messed that up, too.  Steve thought of Howard Stark and how he would’ve been able to fly that plane with better precision.  Maybe even survive.  Steve apologized to Erskine for letting the man die in vain.  While the experiment had worked better than anyone could’ve thought, it was the little punk from Brooklyn who failed.  So much guilt.  Steve felt so alone in those final moments.

Since waking up he’s been plagued by nightmares.  He goes through dissociative episodes whenever coming back from a mission. They strike at other times but fighting is a pretty strong trigger. Insomnia is also extremely commonplace.  More often than not he can concentrate on fighting, analyze what’s happening, and make sure his team members survive.  Those are things he was conditioned to do and things the serum was specifically designed for.  But, once the suit comes off and he’s alone with his thoughts the floodgates open.  Everything comes rushing back.

Bucky’s return doesn’t help any of Steve’s symptoms.  In fact, seeing what’s happened to Bucky due to Steve’s own failures makes things exponentially worse.  The guilt multiplies because now his failure goes beyond simple death.  Steve’s inability to do what he designed to do effectively created the Winter Soldier.  That’s his fault.  Bucky’s trauma and seventy years worth of pain is Steve’s fault.  He looks at the pain in his best friend’s eyes and sees what his own ineffectiveness has done.

#★ ✧･ﾟ : if only i had the strength to change your mind — headcanons

[shieldrevive]

I don’t remember if I started mentioning this or if I’ve talked about this so much OOC that it felt like I wrote an actual post about it but here it goes.

Watching Age of Ultron, there’s the scene with Steve and Maria talking about the twins.  It’s pretty apparent that even then Steve is feeling protective over them.  He’s never looked at them as if they were villains.  He never judged the twins for what happened with Ultron or even Hydra.

He mentions, specifically, before walking into that elevator that they underwent experiments in order to protect their country.  He knows what that feels like because Steve did the exact same thing.

Right from the get go, Steve saw kindred spirits.  Strength.  Determination.  Passion.  A need to protect innocent lives.  The twins go into the experiment thinking they were doing the right thing.  It’s no fault of theirs that the experiment itself turns out to be nothing like they expected nor is it their fault that they were manipulated or lied to.

Forgiveness is easy because Steve never views Wanda as in the wrong.  She’s a victim.  Steve tries to protect her and give her the tools to make sure it never happens again.

#★ ✧･ﾟ : if only i had the strength to change your mind — headcanons

[shieldrevive]

In canon, Steve is said to have an eidetic memory.  Part of the super serum’s effects was increasing his cognitive abilities to what is considered peak and near perfect.  What that means ( at least to me on this blog ) is that he is able to quickly analyze anything he’s presented with.  This is easier to do in more comfortable settings such as the battlefield or anything related to fighting or strategy.  He can take a situation and change plans in the heat of the moment.  He can, effectively, adapt in the blink of an eye.

Steve has an easier time with technology, places, directions, things like that.  Informational things.  He picked up phones, computers, cameras, little gadgets, etc, almost instantly.  Where he runs into more trouble is with social adaptation such as newer terminology, social norm, jargon, memes.  He’s fairly introverted.  There’s about seventy years of stuff to catch up on and informal language tends to be extremely fluid.  Think about the slang you use now compared to the slang you used a few years ago.  These are things Steve would try to read up on, only to find out that the information is basically outdated already.

It’s more comfortable to hold social things close to his heart.  Habits are hard to break.  Some of them are firmly built on things his mother taught him and he’d never dream going against those.

So, in a lot of ways, Steve does miss the old days.  Being able to see the future makes him think of Bucky.  In a weird way it makes him feel even more guilty.  Not only is he still alive but he’s alive to see all these wonderful things that his best friend used to dream about.  But, back then Steve at least knew the social rules ( even if he chose to ignore some of the ).  He knew what was expected of him.

There’s no point in dwelling on what point in time he’s stuck in.  Now is now and Steve has always preferred to push forward.

#★ ✧･ﾟ : if only i had the strength to change your mind — headcanons

[shieldrevive]

& religion Growing up, he’d been taught about the Catholic faith as his mother was a devout believer.  He believed.  Still believes.  But, there’s always been questions about the “why” of the world.  She chose to wear both the cross and a medallion of Saint Patrick.  The cross was an heirloom passed down from her own mother while the pendant belonged to Joseph.  Even before his passing she wore it as protection.

When Steve was four he received the St. Patrick’s medallion to wear.  Sarah, in turn, started wearing the image of St. Bridgid.  As tempting as it was to keep when his mother passed, he decided to leave the necklace with her body.  Partly because he wasn’t sure what he’d do with it and partly because it felt wrong taking such an important thing from her.

He did, however, keep the cross.  Wearing it never sat right with him so it sat on his nightstand, right in front of the only photographic picture he had of his mother.

Steve’s faith started to shake once he lost his mother and was rattled even further with Bucky’s “death.”  Even though he took the loss of the latter into himself based on his own shortcomings, it also reminded him of his youth.  All the loss.  All that isolation.  For what purpose?  He also couldn’t help but look at the battlefield and wonder how any higher being could let something like that happen.  

After the events of the first Avengers movie, Steve stopped wearing idolatry altogether.  It helped that the cross was no longer in his possession.  In fact, none of his material items were even his anymore.  St. Patrick had been around his neck when he crashed into the Arctic and while feeling it there helped the soldier feel less alone the alien invasion had done something to the very foundation of everything he believed in.  That’s not to say he pushed off his faith completely, but in his heart it didn’t make sense.

Diving into new martial arts techniques led Steve to such teachings as Buddhism and Taoism.  Even though by the time Civil War hits he considers himself more agnostic than anything, he does start to take in certain philosophies derived from his studies.

#★ ✧･ﾟ : if only i had the strength to change your mind — headcanons

[shieldrevive]

The actual calculated lifespan of Steve Rogers is improbable.  What is known is that the super serum effectively gave him what is considered to be the “perfect” cell.  No degradation by time.  He isn’t affected by things like disease or intoxication and he shows no physical signs of aging.  There are a number of things he’s been able to heal through that would’ve killed or permanently disfigured others.

Not knowing the full capabilities of his own body is both terrifying and freeing.  Even if Steve did know what the serum was truly capable of it wouldn’t stop the way he behaves.  He’d still dive headfirst into danger and he’d still use his own body as a living shield for those he’s trying to protect.  Living to the full potential of his lifespan isn’t a concern, so even if he knew what that potentially was Steve figures he’s not making it there anyway.  

Dying isn’t a deterrent for any of his actions.

What starts to scare him is the possibility of watching the people he cares about die.  Seeing Peggy for the last time was an incredible eye-opener on the potential of the serum.  Everything and everyone he attaches himself to has the possibility of withering away right before his very eyes.  For someone who cares as hard as Steve tends to, that’s very frightening.  Just because he’s used to being alone doesn’t mean he wants to be.  He’s tired of loss.  He’s tired.  Period.

#★ ✧･ﾟ : if only i had the strength to change your mind — headcanons

[shieldrevive]

     equipment maintenance

          steve knows how to sew.

          he learned from his mother when he was young.  considering how expensive his medical bills were, even with his mother being a nurse, it wasn’t practical to purchase new articles of clothing when something got ripped or torn.  so, he learned how to mend everything himself.  when she passed it helped extend his meager pay because, again, he didn’t have to worry about the clothes on his back no matter how many times he got into a fight.

          the skill came in handy after being accepted into the military.  then even handier once he started working for the department of treasury to sell war bonds.  steve was able to maintain the captain america outfit and even help some of the dancers if it was necessary.  in fact, he continued to fix his own damaged clothes until howard stark weaved special protective kevlar-like fibers into his suit during the war.

          once he obtained the shield steve was no less dedicating to maintaining it himself as much as possible.  scuffs were polished out.  scratches were meticulously painted over.  when necessary he even replaces the leather straps located on the backside.

#★ ✧･ﾟ : if only i had the strength to change your mind — headcanons

[shieldrevive]

This is the fight of our lives and we’re going to win. Whatever it takes.

#★ ✧･ﾟ : we get what we deserve — visage

[shieldrevive]

on his use of profanity 

        Steve has always moved to the beat of a different drum.  His own drum.  He’s guided by what he believes is right and a lot of his moral compass stems from his mother, whether she intended it or not.

         His father was an abusive alcoholic.  Steve watched as his mother stood up to that day in and day out.  She would calmly and patiently tell her husband to get out and think about things.  Then she’d turn around to tell her son how, no matter what happens in life, you have to keep getting back up.  Because of Joseph’s later tendencies, Steve was always told to watch his language.  Even after his mother’s passing he took it to heart that he needed to watch his language.  While other kids and even Bucky spewed profanity like there was no tomorrow Steve refused to give in no matter  how well he felt certain words encompassed what he really wanted to say.

        He chooses not to use certain language when he communicates.  Social pressures aren’t strong enough to override the respect Steve holds for his mother or her teachings.

#★ ✧･ﾟ : if only i had the strength to change your mind — headcanons

[shieldrevive]

FALLOUT (TV SERIES, 2024): Episode Eight Feel free to edit the sentences, places, pronouns, etc, as you need. NSFW TW: Mentions of violence

“Find me.”

“The locals put up a fight, but so did we.”

“He’s dead.”

“This is not the first time a [Brother] in your company has fallen into misfortune, is it?”

“I fear you lied then. Just as you lie now.”

“Don’t kill me and I can lead you to it.”

“I can help you.”

“My injury was my own doing, not theirs.”

“Such a display of loyalty, don’t see that much anymore.”

“They died running.”

“[The Brotherhood] has lost its way.”

“And yet power is taken, not given. A lesson you seemed to have learned.”

“Your entire life you’ve been looking for a home. Build one with me.”

“Well, thank you for the ride.”

“Join us. It’s my turn to host, isn’t it?”

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about this moment. You wouldn’t believe the things that went through my head.”

“Guess I was gonna, walk in here and blow everyone up.”

“But, it’s not really how I was raised.”

“Now, please, give me them back.”

“Time is the apex predator.”

“You’ll never find out. Uhp. [Pronoun]’s gunna find out.”

“How can you guarantee results?” 

“By dropping the bombs ourselves.”

“But this is our chance to make war obsolete.”  

“We have conflict, and we have war. And war, well, war never changes.”

“He never told you where he’s really from, when he’s from.”

“Wait, [name], they’re sending you?”

“Punishment for what I did to myself.”

“I had no idea they’d blame you for it… I’m sorry.”

“And he burned that city to the ground.”

“I think you know.”

“[Name], they’re lying to you.”

“You can’t go home, [name]. Not with what you’ve learned.”

“So you’re just - you’re just gonna keep me here?”

“I did what was necessary to save our people.”

“You’ve seen what it’s like here. Everyone equally afraid, equally miserable. Forced to do horrible things to survive. I had to make a choice.”

“I believe, I know I made the right choice.”

“If the problem with the world is factions endlessly fighting, endlessly at war, then what is the solution but to get rid of the factions? To make the world us, ours to shape?”

“I’ll bet that outfit makes y’all feel like a big man, don’t it?”

“I wonder if they fixed that in this new model? I guess not.”

“Did you get them?”

“I can’t see shit.”

“Find that fucking [ghoul].” “Open the door, [name], open the door and let’s go home.”

“You see what this place does to people?”

“You came all this way for me.”

“You’re not gonna hurt me.”

“Now, I’ve waited over [200] years to ask somebody one question.”

“War never changes.”

“You look out at this wasteland, looks like chaos. But, there’s always somebody behind the wheel, and that’s who I want to talk to.”

“Well, it’s easier to track a stuck pig than to ask where it’s off to.”

“You wanna know how I know [person], don’t you?”

“Let’s just say that everything about your whole little world was decided [over 200] years ago.”

“Now, you can stay here with him... Or you can come meet your makers.”

“You comin?”

“Hey, get up…”

“I’ll find you.”

“Okey-dokey.��

“We did it, [name].”

“What do you suppose your [Brotherhood] would do with infinite power?”

“Maybe you can stop them. Maybe you can’t. Maybe all you can do is try.”

#★ ✧･ﾟ : cause we will run you down — memes

[shieldrevive]

I've got his book. And, uh... I just figured if it worked for him, then it'd work for me.

#★ ✧･ﾟ : heart like yours rare to find — imagery

[shieldrevive]

FILE :// ENDGAME CANON DIVERGENCE

         for the sake of rp, steve doesn’t go back in time to be with peggy.  after depositing the infinity stones back in their proper places he comes back to the present like he’s supposed to.  how he interacts with other muses will purely depend on plot.  like the thing with peggy, i don’t want to force someone else’s muse to do something or act in a way that the mun might feel is ooc.  so, this part has nothing to do with how i may feel on the whole steggy ending and everything with trying to be as functional as possible.

         his forearm was broken in the ( er, second? ) battle with thanos.  did you see the way his shield shattered?  his body took a toll from that.  steve is durable but he can still be broken.  we saw that in winter soldier.  we see it constantly in the comics.

         since he doesn’t live a second life and can’t bring his shield back from the past, the one that gets destroyed in the battle is remade.  who exactly does it can be open to plot since there are at least several ways this can be done.  as a generic answer, SHIELD has a replacement or two available.  just in case.

          additionally, steve still gives up the shield to Sam after returning from placing the stones back in time.  He’s tired.  He just spent five years with a guilt unlike he’s ever felt before.  Bucky is back in his life and just like prior to CW, that is his main concern.  Keeping his best friend safe is his number one priority.  So, Steve takes a step back from being Captain America and again takes up the moniker of Nomad.  If a fight comes his way he’ll use the shield blessed upon him by Wakanda.  Other than that, however, he will follow Bucky to the ends of the earth.

#★ ✧･ﾟ : if only i had the strength to change your mind — headcanons

[shieldrevive]

i know what i said yesterday about phase 5 BUT, i also think it would be cool to explore the whole skrull thing. also? getting to shout at / about nick being an absolute idiot for taking that all on by himself.

#★ ✧･ﾟ : dancing in the dark — ooc

[shieldrevive]

@lastvessel - the winc.hester thing

but, i'm going to pass out because a phone call woke me up at 5am. bio, drafts, and blog bouncing when i wake up <3

#★ ✧･ﾟ : dancing in the dark — ooc

[shieldrevive]

i can't remember the last time i said it here, but if you'd like to plot things feel free to hmu on dis.cord.

hellfirewerewolf

#★ ✧･ﾟ : dancing in the dark — ooc

[shieldrevive]

one of the first things steve had done was rip the star right off the middle of his chest. at the time, it'd been an emotional reaction to everything going on with tony. he missed, tony. words, the super soldier honestly never, ever saw himself saying or thinking. they got on each other's nerves, fought over everything, and practically lived in a constant state of devil's advocate.

but this? the sokovian accords? was a line steve could not and would not cross. nothing good could ever come out of binding the hands that wanted to help. steve also knew there was no legal document in the world that would force him to ask permission for saving lives. they'd have to keep tossing him in the strongest cell technology could craft because he'd get out and simply go back to doing just that.

although, as his the muscles in his legs burned from following the chitauri all around the world ( at least, that's what it felt like ), the blonde was starting to wonder what things would look like if it wasn't just a small team fighting against someone who wanted to end half the universe. no one mentioned the stones being the least of their problems. no one mentioned the threat from all those years ago spilling back into the ground to cause terror. the government was at his back and aliens were at his front.

" aliens, " hands land on the former captains hips. one shoulder shrugs up fairly casually and lungs burn with the effort to suck air back into his body. thick blood drips like molasses down the sharp edge of the shielded bracers gifted to him by the king of wakanda. originally, steve thought he was going to use them to punch hydra in the face. little did he realize....

" i'm sorry. i could've led into that a lot better. " lips press to a thin line, thinking of other possibilities. at the same time, someone who was willing to fight them head on, as this stranger was doing, deserved the truth. better that than a lie to send him to his death.

raising his right arm, the wakandan shield expands to it's full size and pulls back in again. " how? " head tilts side to side. " pressure sensors. " there was also the long, complicated story of the super serum. steve isn't quite sure which how the stranger is referring to, so that part remains close to his chest. " also trial and error on weak points, which we can discuss, if you'd like. "

@shieldrevive || ash vs. the evil dead sentence starters || accepting!

Sometimes what you think you saw, it's exactly what you saw.

dean was chasing the creepy son of a bitch through the forest. intent upon killing it. two steps into the trap, he realized how badly he messed up when three sets of eyes turned into six. and they were around him in all corners. shit. shit. SHIT. lead right into a trap.

front teeth bit down into his bottom lip. adrenaline kicked in on high. finger on the trigger and boots planted firmly in the ground, keen eyes darted from one glowing set to the other. waiting to see which one was going to spring first. "c'mon, bitch. let's go.. which one of you is gonna grow a pair?" his heart's pounding. and he feels high.

from the shadows, the bushes rustle and the first creature LUNGES. it moves so fast, the entire body looks like a blur. dean's gun raises--he fires and a howl echoes in the air as not only a bullet but--and don't get him fucking wrong but he swears to hell and back he sees a something black and silver cut through the air and hit it as the same damn time. not only that but it ricochets off that beast and bounces. to a tree. into a shadow. howling ensues. and crunching bone. bodies hitting the floor. one. two. claws scraping at the ground before they go still.

another pounces towards him. three left. two more from behind. dean gets the shot off at the first but the other two fall at his feet. bodies lifeless and limp, shriveling into husks that resemble skeletons with stitched fur and teeth. and what pins both their necks to the ground? metal. nothing he's ever seen before. black. silver. and apparently deadly as hell. 'is that what the hell i saw?' and the answer he gets from the stranger coming out of the dark is exactly what he would expect. cryptic. but not. simple.

dean stood staring at the stranger with a look of sheer fascination on his face. lips parted. a streak of red running up his cheek. one that will surely dry out into an inky brown. but now? it's dark and glistening in the moonlight. not shed by his own hand. not even the slightest.

"okay great. but what the hell are those and how.. how did you DO that?"

#★ ✧･ﾟ : time has come as we all go down — interactions #★ ✧･ﾟ : illusion of the tesseract — v . avengers #bloodsalted #i have been weirdly afraid to be on steve #BUT I MISS YOU AND WRITING WITH YOU SO HERE WE ARE #BE PREPARED TO GET SICK OF ME