sheainlondon - Tumblr blog

sheainlondon · 2 years

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back of my mind. [b. chilwell]

inspiration: back of my mind — maria isabel <3

“i knew your love came with a price.”

ok so this is my first post on tumblr, i read a lot but i rlly wanna try writing so if anyone even sees this pls dont judge 🥺❤️

- also when i do write i tend to write in third person bc its a lot easier for me to describe things but i wanted to try first <33

I sat comfortably in the broadcaster booth, my little cousin on my lap as I slid on his headphones, then mine.

I watched Asher every Sunday, since my aunt and uncle had strange work hours. Asher always behaved and was a great boy, but even they needed a little alone time.

He liked coming to work with me and watching the football games, or pitching me his ideas for goal celebration calls.

He’d recently just started playing football, and with time became a huge Chelsea supporter, and was a big Mason Mount fan.

I myself of course enjoyed watching the blues as well, which is of course why I chose to intern there. But nonetheless, there was a little… history there.

The second half had already started, with the Blues up 1-0.

But as time went on, Watford started to press more and more, which eventually ended in a late goal from the other side.

The game now tied at 1-1, I began to tense up. We weren’t really gonna tie on the last game of the season, right?

As the clock ticked on, Lee sighed and took off his headphones. He rubbed his temples, then turned to me, “I gotta get down there for the postgame stuff. You and the big guy got it, right?” He joked, ruffling Asher’s hair.

“Yup!” I nodded, as Asher giggled, getting up from my lap to sit in Lee’s seat.

As soon as Lee left an incoming substitution came up on the screen in front of me.

‘Ben Chilwell >’

‘Mason Mount <‘

“Who’s that?” my cousin asked, trying make sense of the unfamiliar name.

“Ben Chilwell, he’s been injured.” I said slowly, hoping the bell doesn’t ring for him that it was my ex-something.

“Oh. Alright,” he grinned, “You should say, ‘Please welcome back, Ben Chilwell!’“ he exclaimed, stressing each syllable in his name.

“Sure, why not?” I giggled, swiping my blonde curls out of the way before getting the microphone ready.

The referee then gave his cue, as I came onto the mic.

“Substitution for Chelsea, number nineteen— Mason Mount.”

My voice echoed throughout the stadium as Asher looked at me in awe. I smiled and winked back.

As I watched Mount leave the pitch and hug Ben, a hint of nostalgia tampered with me as I closed my eyes and said into the mic,

“Please welcome back, number twenty-one— Ben Chilwell!” I exclaimed, as the crowd rose and buzzed, ecstatic for his return.

Sad happiness filled me, as I turned off the microphone and stood up, clapping along with them.

As he settled into his position, his head turned and looked up at me in the booth

Our eyes locked.

He nodded, with a heavy smile.

I gave him a thumbs up, just as Asher realized what was going on and got up on his chair to wave at him too.

The game resumed, and the ninety minute mark came.

James had the ball, and just made a splendid move to trick the Watford defenders, before putting in a beautiful cross, that perfectly directed off of Barkley’s head… into the goal!

I threw my hands up in excitement, before high-fiving Asher.

Quickly, I grabbed the microphone once more,

“Goal, Chelsea! Number eighteen… Ross Barkley!”

The three stoppage time minutes went quick, as the final whistle blew and the crowd erupted in cheers.

I watched the players intermix to congratulate each other, then signed off and wished everyone a good evening and safe drive.

Next, we had to get down to the pitch for the awards, speeches, goodbyes, etc.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ:*

As Asher and I arrived on the pitch, Azpi had just finished his speech and congratulated Mount on his phenomenal season and was handing him his player of the year award.

Mason Mount highlights began to play on the Jumbotron above, and families flooded out behind us.

I located Lee, and we began to set up the interviews as the players took their appreciation lap.

We interviewed Rudiger first, then Thomas Tuchel.

“Y/N!” my brother tugged at my jacket as we waited for the next player. Asher then started to speak super fast and jump around at the sight of Mason Mount and Reece James.

“Woah, woah, slow down!” I giggled, squatting down to his height as Lee looked down on us and laughed.

“Go enjoy the last day, Y/N. It’s been a pleasure having you in the booth,” he nodded, as I got up and went to shake his hand, in which he enveloped me into a hug instead.

“No Lee, it’s been a pleasure working for you. Thanks for everything.” I smiled.

“But first how about I get Asher here a photo with Mason Mount, yeah?”

I grinned, as I saw number nineteen approach the interview booth, “He’d love that,” I watched as Asher’s eyes lightened at the sight of the young man.

“And wait,”

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Will you go say hi to Ben for me?” he winked, before his eyes drew forward towards a man in blue who seemed to be lost in the crowd without any family.

I slightly shook my head, but smiled.

I had to say hi.

Every time I’d look through my office window out at the training grounds I’d see him in the parking lot, as he’d be coming in for recovery.

And I’d wondered if anything had changed.

We both knew what we were getting into when we started seeing each other, with me being in the United States most of the time for school and him being a full-time football star.

But we knew that night in New York that it was time to say goodbye.

He took pieces of me when he left.

Just like how I kept pieces of him when he walked away.

“Go on,” Lee ushered me further onto the pitch, as my green eyes comfortably met Ben’s blue ones, to which he quickly looked away from.

I still saw oceans in his eyes. That’s one thing that never changed.

My air forces inched over the gorgeous green grass of Stamford Bridge, as my eyes flickered down and focused on the faded lines of where it had been perfectly cut.

I finally looked up, and I was just inches away from him. He was now coming towards me as well.

As soon as we were close enough, Ben wasted no time to envelop me in a huge hug. I smiled into his smelly jersey that held a faint smell of his familiar cologne.

“I didn’t believe Azpi when he said you worked here now.” he finally said, as we shared an understanding silence with each other.

“Interning, just interning,” I replied, as he hugged me tighter, “I’m sorry I never found you when I first started here. I guess I was just scared.”

He finally pulled away and looked me in the eyes, a soft smile locked onto his face.

“I think we both were.” he nodded.

Nobody spoke as we both took in the buzz of the bridge.

“Any plans this Summer?” I asked, breaking the silence, only wanting to hear his voice and everything about him.

“Yeah, I’m leaving town in a few days. I’m obviously not participating in the Nations League with England so it’s probably gonna be a pretty light next couple of months.”

“Nice,” I nodded, as I nervously tapped my left foot a little bit.

“What about you?”

“Oh, you know me… the normal rounds. New York, California… maybe even Italy this year.”

He nodded.

We both couldn’t deny there was an undeniable sadness between the two of us, not to mention Ben’s absent family members.

“Parents couldn’t make it?” I asked breaking into a new conversation, still in search for his missing loved ones.

“No,” he looked down, studying the ground as if he were in search of something down there.

His eyes glistened as they finally came back up, I could tell it was bugging him that nobody showed on the last day. His family was always first for him.

“I bet some of the other boys family’s couldn’t—“ I started, as his hand moved under my chin and pointed my face up towards him.

He looked as if he was ready to cry, as his hand dropped from under my chin and a sad smile overcame his face, “I just wanna look at you.” he gulped, “Forget about them… forget about everyone else. It’s just you and me again. Even after all those days we spent apart… you still sat at the back of my mind every single one of them.” he shook his head. He went from seemingly being unhappy with his parents to being upset about us.

“We knew it’d come with a price.” I assured, trying to shed light on the main reason we failed.

“I know,” our eyes stayed connected as he fidgeted with the hem of his jersey, “But right now, I-…” he stuttered.

“What?” I frowned.

Ben looked down at me as a ray of sun had moved onto us. He then raised his arm and slid it over my shoulder, softly declaring, “I think you’re all I need.”

#chelsea fc #chelsea #ben chilwell #back of my mind #mason mount

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