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This feels like a B99 skit.

patrol is fun :DD

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I'm curious. Reblog this if you know how to cook

I don’t even care if it’s macaroni, ramen or those little bowls you stick in the microwave. Please, I need reassurance that most of the population on tumblr WOULDN’T STARVE TO DEATH if their parents couldn’t fix them food or they couldn’t go out to eat. 

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failed step one

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Clark: Bruce Bruce what is this 9 yr old Dick: :D Clark: Bruce Bruce, haggard, injecting 5 hour energy straight into his arm: baby bird Clark: you can't let a child fight crime Bruce, near tears: you want to try and stop him? please for the love of God Clark try please Dick: I'm gonna do murder! Dick: *cartwheels* Clark: oh no Bruce: that's what I said

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When Batfamily members break the no-kill rule…

Bruce: Well, technically… *insert very poor explanation of why it doesn’t count*

Dick: *has a mental breakdown and becomes Deathstroke’s apprentice* Huh? Oh, everything’s fine.

Jason: So what if I did? I’m proud of it! *begins 4-hour-long rant about the Joker*

Tim: …no I didn’t. *cue blatant gaslighting*

Damian: I had no choice. It was self-defense! (It was not.)

Duke: I had no choice. It was self-defense! (It actually was.)

Barbara: Can’t prove it. *destroys evidence*

Cass: I will dedicate my life to saving others as penance. Actually, that sounds pretty hard. Hey, Mom, wanna spar?

Steph: What’s a rule?

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Quote from Scrubs

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[at Jason's funeral]

Dick: *places his hand on the headstone and sobs*

Dick: How could you do this to me? We are so understaffed.

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Dick: If anyone needs to get something off their chest, this is a safe place

Dick: Emotionally

Dick: Not physically. We’re clearly in danger

Jason: Can we have a heart-to-heart when we’re not under heavy fire?

Dick: Maybe you and Cass, but Damian is most emotionally vulnerable on the job

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I'm a simple person, I see a hilarious tumblr post and I spend a frankly absurd amount of time drawing it.

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Look 99% of the time I am thinking of the dceased unkillables series that only exists in my head where its a fun campy zombie road trip and not whatever actually happened in that book bc I forgot

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jim gordon names his gray hairs after the robins

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(The evolution trigger is ✨Trauma✨)

Edit: since there seems to be some confusion about all the AU Jasons, here's a list of where they're from.

From Left to right Red Hooded Ninja: Young Justice cartoon Red Hood: Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016), DC comics Arkham Knight: Batman: Arkham Knight video game Red Robin: Death in the Family interactive movie Father Todd: Flashpoint: The World of Flashpoint #2, DC comics

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jason after finding out dick is a cop in bludhaven

jason: ur a crook

dick: what?

jason: you’re a corrupt cop

dick: *sputters* i am not what the hell?

jason: i JUST saw you destroy a street cam so you wouldn’t get caught with your nefarious schemes 

dick: it was so the police don’t see me climbing into my apartment dressed up as a vigilante they hate!! we have secret identities Jay!

jason: so your hiding info from the cops!! ur sooo corrupt…. i’m telling commissioner gordon

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watching people insist that dick grayson would post thirst traps and tiktoks and overshare online and accidentally reveal his secret identity because he’s open and honest and would never lie as if he doesn’t hate talking about himself and hides from the people he loves and rarely directly says what he’s thinking

u fool!! u have been tricked by the facade!!! a graysons nature is to perform!!

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This sure is a nice little tumblr post here

Sure hope no one turns it into a Analog Horror for no reason whatsoever

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Local babysitter allows having vegan combo once

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A shitty, 5-second night shot clip of Red Hood in the full suit goes viral: it's him casually walking next to a street cat, pausing to look at it, and meowing once.

When he learns about the video, Jason fully expects to be mercilessly mocked by his friends and family.

What actually happens is much worse.

...Because Tim and Steph band together with Roy to steal his helmet and replace it with a version with cat ears.