sexhaver

[sexhaver]

[sexhaver]

every month or so i go back and watch the first 40 seconds of this video again. one of these days im going to do an effortpost explaining exactly how funny it is to my followers without MTG brainrot, but rest assured, it's extremely funny

#this video also has the Borborygmos (Enraged) story too don't worry #Youtube

[sexhaver]

hands down the funniest part of watching Balatro streamers is when they start talking about Straights, as in the poker hand consisting of 5 sequential ranks (i.e. 9, 10, J, Q, K) because it results in beautiful sentences like "yeah guys, i dunno, i just feel like straights are overrated this patch" or "we don't need straights this run"

[sexhaver]

oh yeah also this card costs as much as a used car despite being banned in literally every single format except for Vintage, where it's restricted to one copy per deck

Time Walk

Artist: Amy Weber TCG Player Link Scryfall Link EDHREC Link

#very convenient that you only ever need to own one copy #since you can only donate one kidney

[sexhaver]

If you’re in DC, stop by the GWU University Yard and show them some love. The encamped students are remaining under threat of suspension

#what i would have given to listen in on that phone call between the police chief and his boss

[sexhaver]

looking back at the Power Nine is extremely funny in hindsight because it's "just" six 0-cost artifacts that tap for mana and three blue spells undercosted by 3 mana each. from this, we can derive the three fundamental truths of MTG:

mana cheating is literally everything

blue gets to do unfair shit that doesn't explicitly win the game on the spot but might as well

0-cost artifacts good

meditate on these lessons and learn.

[sexhaver]

oh yeah there's a rumor that the original wording during playtesting was "target player loses next turn", until one of the playtesters asked "so if i cast this i just win, right? because my opponent loses on their next turn?"

personally i always found this story a bit unbelievable because it implies this card went through playtesting and even had functional changes made to it and yet nobody noticed the slight balance issue where it only cost TWO FUCKING MANA

Time Walk

Artist: Amy Weber TCG Player Link Scryfall Link EDHREC Link

#yes i know “playtesting” for alpha was wildly different from the modern version #and yes i know richard garfield envisioned the game as extremely casual with no secondary market so stuff like Black Lotus was okay to print #i am Making A Joak

[sexhaver]

Technophobes need to apologise for "just put it in plain English you stupid machine!" because, well for one the decline in accurate error messages in favour of simplicity has contributed to the rise of tech illiteracy, but also because now whenever an "app" has a net connection error it will pop up a box saying something like "oo ooopsie! Your super duper feed went poo poo. We'll try again soon!" which having said to me by a corporation is about 8 million times worse than having to hear the word "network".

#“oopsie doodles! our servers did a fucky-wucky :(” give me a stack trace you son of a bitch

[sexhaver]

Time Walk

Artist: Amy Weber TCG Player Link Scryfall Link EDHREC Link

#for my non-mtg followers: this is exactly as stupidly overpowered as it sounds

[sexhaver]

original url http://www.geocities.com/jesusforever_ark/

last modified 2007-12-30 16:29:47

#when my therapist asks how my week went

[sexhaver]

behold: a child

Pentavus

Artist: Greg Staples TCG Player Link Scryfall Link EDHREC Link

[sexhaver]

can someone reblog this post with that “you’re the music guy, right?” meme where he has paulstretched pictures of thom yorke’s lazy eye on his ipod?

#the original mspaint comic is a classic #fuck 4chan but unfortunately /mu/ shaped most of my musical taste in high school which shaped my current taste

[sexhaver]

the sigh of relief i let out after clicking on the last block of spoiler text

[sexhaver]

[sexhaver]

it's crazy i mean neurodivergent how well this jacket i've been wearing since 9th grade has held up except for the sleeves

[sexhaver]

I said “kiss me, you’re beautiful. These are truly the last days.” You grabbed my hand and we fell into it, like a daydream or a fever.

#every year the “we are trapped in the belly of this horrible machine/and the machine is bleeding to death” line gets less melodramatic

[sexhaver]

*opens my wallet and blood gushes out*

#the amount of people in the notes who have never heard Dead Flag Blues.... wew lad