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severegladiatorstudentuniverse · 5 years

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My toughest 8 months!

I don’t know how to start, I guess I never thought I’d make a post like this at all but here I am. I’d want the world to know this and to know that we all have our battles, we fight these battles, we get wounded but eventually these battles come to an end. These wounds are what affect our mental health! And here are a few of mine that I’ve endured in the last 8 months.

I was a student at Leeds University, graduated in July 2018 but only just found out that my dad, who’s never had any experience in running a travel agency decides to buy one here in the United Arab Emirates. He’s got a guide, who’s the manager. Now this manager is a very peculiar man, a full blown racist, homophobe, an absolutely arrogant and patronising man of the highest order. Very manipulative and also I suspect he was a pedophile as well but that’s just my suspicion at this point. Since my dad was new here, he decided to listen to this man who would make out Dubai as one of the hardest places to live in. He’d make standard procedures sound really arduous or tough. He’d scare my dad into letting him (the manager) do all the work while assuring my dad that he’s got it. While in Leeds, I would often tell my dad to see what’s he’s upto, alas he never listened. My dad sold most of his property/lands that we owned back in our country to actually help us with the move to the UAE. My dad would pay this man a ridiculous salary to just sit on his arse and shout at him. At this point we’re using our reserves because the business is down in the gutters. Told my dad to please let this man go and let’s dosomething else. Was shat at and ignored while I could see our reserves thinning out. It came to a point when we couldn’t pay the salaries of our employees and parents had to head back home and sell our house! We paid the salaries and all but now it was time! We had to get rid of this company. I found out that this man had forced my dad to bestow upon him this Power of Attorney. This was a complete authority and this manager could do anything under my dads name! I had to get that cancelled! Got that done, got the full ire of that man who shouted at me. I made dad terminate that man and here if you terminate someone, you’ve got to pay their 3 months salaries but if they resign, you’re not liable to. I could’ve asked him to resign had I known but alas. Fast forward and we had nearly exhausted our reserves. So much so we weren’t sure if we’d eat on certain days. Finally we found a buyer for the company and let it go.

Now this was a point when I told my parents that we’ve got money, let’s not invest it straightway into something we’re not sure of! But again listening to me is akin to listening to a baby cry, it’s annoying. They did the exact opposite of what I told them and kept on telling. They bought a dead restaurant from that money.

3 months later, we’re trying to get rid of that restaurant. My dads left the country and basically deserted us so as the restaurants dead, I had to sell my mums jewellery with her to pay its rent. I had to ask my friends like request them to lend me money. It felt VERY VERY beggar like. I got turned down, some didn’t respond, some that did said we’ll only lend you if no one did but some lent me straight away! I feel absolutely horrendous. Then I had these arguments with mum about how to go about this and we came to the conclusion that they (my mum and my siblings) need to move back. Once we get money from the restaurant, we can use it back home instead if living in the UAE. Now I’ve been offered a job here which starts in June so I could support them a bit but when mum asked me to give most of my salary to her, I said No! I need to also live my life and manage my expenses and if I did what she asked, I’ll be left with absolute peanuts. I’ll be a teacher in June and it’s a sure as Hell a stressful job!

Now we’re in the process of trying to find a buyer for the resto, the mistake of buying it still hurts me. I had a massive argument with mum about how to deal with things. She just keeps repeating stuff that we’ve agreed on and that can be mental tension and strsss causing. I told her that and she started hitting me with her shoe and asked me to leave the house. I said alright. For the first time in 8 months I felt a relief. I felt as if these problems wouldn’t be mine anymore. I used to be a happy go lucky lad in Leeds, would love life and enjoy the little things and it felt like a window. Yet she stopped me and said “will you leave yer ma like this?” To which I replied no (and a sudden feeling of being sucked back in depression rushed in instantly).

My brother hates me because of my thoughts that they should move back if they’re to not be in the streets. My dad has brushed aside these struggles by calling me a pussy. He sweared at me on WhatsApp. Actually, he was sending mum old pictures of them and saying he misses the good old days knowing full well it’s him who caused all this and then deserted us and then when mum started to sob uncontrollably, I told him to stop sending those. He sweared at me then.

Fast forward. We’re still trying to sell this restaurant that’s been a bone that’s stuck in our throats. We can’t really sell it because potential buyers ask loads of questions, loads of inquiries and inquisitive questions, something we should’ve done as well and our answers are dismal. We can’t really market this restaurant because it’s got no sales, a VERY high rent and a crap location.

We’re running out of reserves because I can’t drive and we take public transport to get there.

There had been times I felt like ending it. It’s been too much. I have fought for them everywhere, advocated their cause and still get shit on. But then my mates and my gf just remind me of why it’s important to stay healthy and that this will be over someday/time. I’ve decided to stay hydrated, exercise and go off social media. Social media was a massive source of anxiety. Seeing your friends enjoy life while you fight for your family’s survival hurts and made me envious and bitter. I really need out but hopefully will get there. At times I want to cry really loudly at the card fate’s dealt me. But here I am.

Life is what we make of it, we’re stronger and can overcome anything. These past few days I came up with this mantra that I recite everyday and it makes me feel a lot good and positive when I head out to try sorting the mess I’m in. It goes like this:

I have no enemies, only friends

I hate no one, I hold my tongue

I judge no one and I don’t get judged

I don’t hurt anyone, neither get hurt

I’m happy, I’m healthy, I’m educated

Hope things will turn out for the best soon and things will be alright.

I’m happy, I’m healthy and I’m educated

Syed Ali Sabtain

#PostItForward

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severegladiatorstudentuniverse · 5 years

Text

A fight for my family’s survival!

I was a student at Leeds University, graduated in July 2018 but only just found out that my dad, who’s never had any experience in running a travel agency decides to buy one here in the United Arab Emirates. He’s got a guide, who’s the manager. Now this manager is a very peculiar man, a full blown racist, homophobe, an absolutely arrogant and patronising man if the highest order. Very manipulative and also I suspect he was a pedophile as well but that’s just my suspicion at this point. Since my dad was new here, he divided to listen to this man who would make out Dubai as one of the hardest places to live in. He’s make standard procedures sound really arduous or tough. He’d scare my dad into letting him (the manager) do all the work while assuring my dad that he’s got it. While in Leeds, I would often tell my dad to see what’s he’s upto, alas he never listened. My dad sold most of his property/lands that we owned back in our country to actually help us with the move to the UAE. My dad would pay this man a ridiculous salary to just sit in his arse and shout at him. At this point we’re using our reserves because the business is down in the gutters. Told my dad to please let this man go and let’s do someth else. Was shat at and ignored while I could see our reserves thinning out. It came to a point when we couldn’t pay the salaries of our employees and parents had to head back home and sell our house! We paid the salaries and all but now it was time! We had to get rid of this company. I found out that this man had forced my dad to bestie upon him this Power of Attorney. This was a complete authority and this manager could do anything under my dads name! I had to get that cancelled! Got that done, got the full ire of that man who shouted at me. I made dad terminate that man and this if you terminate someone, you’ve got to pay their 3 months salaries but if they resign, you’re not liable to. I could’ve asked him to resign had I known but alas. Fast forward and we had nearly exhausted our reserves. So much so we weren’t sure if we’d eat on certain days. Finally we found a buyer for the company and let it go.

Dad being dad!

Now we’re in the process of trying to find a buyer for the resto, the mistake of buying it still hurts me. I had a massive argument with mum about how to deal with things. She jerks repeating stuff that we’ve agreed on and that just can be mental tension and strsss causing. I told her that and she started hitting me with her shoe and asked me to leave the house. I said alright. Fir the first time in 8 months I felt a relief. I felt as if these problems wouldn’t be mine anymore. I used to be a happy go lucky lad in Leeds, would love life and enjoy the little things and it felt like a window. Yet she stopped me and said “will you leave yer ma like this?” To which I replied no (and a sudden feeling of being sucked back in depression rushed in instantly).