Tumgik
semillamexicana · 6 years
Text
Resurfacing
Never thought I’d say that a TV show changed my life but here I am. Thanks, Queer Eye. Maybe not an earth shattering life change, but enough to get my life moving again. After all, I am writing this blog.
I constantly tell people that if you’re looking for an excuse, you’ll always find one. This was supposed to motivate them to stop, but for some reason it never worked on me. I have an excuse for everything. I tell myself I should start working out but today’s Tuesday so it’s best to start next Monday to get the week going right. I’ll do my laundry tomorrow because it’s my day off but when it’s my day off I don’t really feel like doing my laundry. I don’t really want to go on dating apps because who’s really going to be interested?
There’s always been something stopping me from doing things no matter how big or small. Fear, laziness, anxiety, depression, and more fear.
Cue the new Fab Five. Telling me that I’m worth investing a few minutes in. How I take care of myself is how the world sees me and it’s okay to have a relationship with myself. That I have a lot to offer but if I didn’t make an effort to show it, then no one will care. None of this was new to me. These were ideas that I had preached to friends, coworkers, and family at one time or another but for some reason never took to heart for myself. Now I don’t know if it was just the right time for me to watch or if I just finally let myself hear it, but I let all 8 episodes really sink in. I teared up during every single one and took a piece from each.
The following week I cleaned my room from top to bottom. Clothes were washed and then hung or donated. Everything was reorganized and I could finally see all the stuff I had. This was all a step that to many would seem uneventful, just another Tuesday maybe, whereas for me was life-changing. I realized that all that clutter and mess was not limited to my room but was weighing on me- my body, my soul, and my health. So I turned right back around, woke up early the next day and rocked one of the best outfits I could think up for work. By taking just 15 extra minutes, I was able to give myself a calm piece of mind because I wouldn’t be rushing to work and I’d feel attractive, not for anyone else except myself.
So I continue to grow. I’m a few weeks in and I’m still strutting outfits and taking compliments. Taking the progress one day at a time and feeling better. I’m finally going to force myself to go to the gym tomorrow and I’m taking steps to make sure I have no excuses. I’ve also started this blog that I’ve put off for years because I didn’t think anyone would care. The truth is that maybe no one does. All I know is that if I care about it then I should just take the leap and go for it.
10 notes · View notes