selfidentifiednerdyprude

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

Every time someone talks about how it's our "purpose" or how we're "meant to" to reproduce, I want to tear my reproductive organs out and slam them down on the table.

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

New research: shining light on dehumanising discrimination faced by asexual people

10,2% of all asexuals are victims of conversion therapy (compared to: homosexual: 7,6%, pansexual: 6,6%, bisexual: 5,2% people)

18.1% of ace respondents said a disclosure of their sexual orientation had had a negative impact on their health care. 

The pathologisation of asexuality continues to affect the acceptance and understanding of this orientation, as well as the well-being of asexual people.

Asexuality is still a pathologised sexual orientation in the UK under the ICD, with the inclusion of “Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder" (HSDD). [...] It was the campaigning of asexual people in the US that led to the amendment of HSDD in the DSM-5. Although HSSD continues to exist as a type of ‘sexual dysfunction’ - under the more gendered form of “Female sexual interest/arousal disorder” and “Male Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder” - a qualifier was added. It states that “if a lifelong lack of sexual desire is better explained by one’s self-identification as ‘asexual,’ then a diagnosis should not be made.” While this does not protect those who have not yet discovered that they are asexual, it is a step in the right direction. It is a step that has not taken place in the UK.

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

it would be REALLY cool if charactrs in media that are heavily implied to be aroace actually stay as aroace instead of them finding the right person and they end up having sex either way . idk just a thought

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

i feel like fandom doesn’t get asexuality (and other aspec identities, but i’m using asexuality here lmao)

this was brought to the front of my mind again when hazbin hotel exploded in popularity this year, and people completely disregarded the canonical asexual character, so they could ship him with people.

allo people in fandom tend to use the phrase “asexuality is a spectrum” as a gotcha! thing.

now, i’m not denying asexuality isn’t a spectrum. it is! it’s just allo people in fandom (99.99% of the time) don’t care. the people saying asexuality is a spectrum are usually the same people who would be weird about an asexual person having sex.

a majority of the “character study” fanfic i’ve read have had some focus on romance, sometimes sex. it just shows that to allo people, a character isn’t interesting if they don’t fuck.

and i wouldn’t care much if the character weren’t written in an allo way! it’s very obvious, to me, whetehr an author is tagging smut as “asexual (character)” for brownie points, or if the person has either done research into how asexuality affects sex, or is the research themselves.

i know this topic has been driven to the ground, but i just feel super strongly about it.

(also people ignore the most glaringly obvious asexual subtext but that’s another thing lmao)

🟣

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

Appreciate your blog in a lot of ways.

As a plural who's just...collectively sysian (so, we are attracted to people within our system and ONLY pur system), our relationships get treated as less "real" than external world ones, even the ones that would otherwise be completely conformant.

We used to identify as asexual (and then aceplex, once we discovered we were plural) before finding this out (that we are sysian) and so we see a LOT of similarities between the acemisia that asexuals are given and the weird intersection of plurmisia and neuroqueermisia that plurals are given.

People often assume plurality is traumagenic (it's not always, we are. Literally a non-traumagenic/an endogenic plural) too, and so there's also that additional layer to unpack as well, something we see assumed with asexuals, and also just plain plf sex-repulsed folks regardless of their sexuality.

So, uh, to make this more understandable via meme:

Sysians 🤝 Sex-repulsed Folks 🤝 Asexuals

Constantly being told their experiences aren't real and you just haven't "found the right one to heal you yet" and other BS.

TLDR. We appreciate your blog a lot. We aren't sure what else to say here? We will always stand with our asexual and sex-repulsed siblings regardless of how much we do or do not change collectively.

Hi! I really appreciate this message. It's always a good day when I get a message that this blog has helped someone or brought someone comfort.

One of my partners is the host of a mixed-origin system and has several in-system relationships (both sexual and not) that we 1000% consider part of our larger polycule, so I'm really glad you& feel safe here. Solidarity with all whose relationships and experiences are considered Less Real™ by the normative establishment, tbh.

#reblogs are off so no one tries to s.yscourse on this post #anyone who tries to say the experiences of others do not or should not exist is catching a block #also sorry for how long it took to answer this! y'all sent this in Literally The Middle Of The Night for me and my ass forgor 💀

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

for what do you not have words?

I am

a breath, taken in,

preparing to speak,

not speaking.

My mouth opens

and silence pours out

like water.

To speak,

to speak unpermitted,

every word a parcel of meaning

and not a whispered exhalation,

is luxury.

I hope to one day know it.

I think I knew it once.

I was a confident child,

before this world bound and gagged me.

#this isn't strictly aroaceposting #but y'all seemed to like the last poem i posted here

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

when is comes to asexuality and aromanticism you have to be okay with contradiction. one ace person will say asexuality is about not experiencing attraction, another will say it’s about not caring to act on attraction, another will say it’s not experiencing arousal. one aromantic will consider themself queer, one won’t. two people with seemingly identical experiences will use two different labels. aro people will be in romantic relationships, ace people will have sex. you get it.

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

Spoiler: there aint anyone im attracted to

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

My friend @shellywith2ls found this on Pinterest during our homeroom today, and when she showed me I started dying laughing.

I asked her to send it to me and she just saved the photo and texted it to me, so I can’t properly credit the person who made this. If you see this, hi, I love this, let me know so I can properly credit you 🙃

Edit:

Thank you @voidisnthere for helping me out with the credit!

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

fun fact:

HOT PEOPLE CAN BE AROMANTIC/ASEXUAL/AROACE TOO

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

5 Things I promise as an Allosexual to my Asexual Partner

#1 - I believe you. I believe that you are Asexual and that you aren't sexually attracted to me (or anyone else in her case).

#2 - I accept that you are Asexual and that it isn't a phase or low libido or anything else. I can't change that and nor would I want to.

#3 - I promise to choose my words wisely and think before I speak so that I don't say something that makes you feel "less than" or "broken". I will also own when I do mess up and it hurts your feelings.

#4 - I promise to use consensual intentional touch. I will use the type of touch that you are comfortable in all aspects so that you always feel safe, and I won't be hurt if you don't want a hug.

#5 - I promise to not use "getting" behaviors. I will not do something for you hoping to get something in return. I will rub your feet because I want to not because I hope you will reciprocate.

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

There is often this question "Why should the Allosexual bend to the Asexual's boundaries?" It isn't about bending; it is about understanding. And until you understand your partners asexuality and what that means for them and why they have the boundaries that they do, you will only ever see it as you are giving up what you want to do instead of the connections that you can make together with love and respect.

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

the audre lorde questionnaire to oneself, intended as a creative writing exercise by Divya Victor, who asks to be credited

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

Being aroace and seeing a lot of your experiences reflected in unrequited love arcs because of the number of people you've seen suddenly start acting like you don't exist as soon as they get a romantic partner

#aroace #my old URL referenced pearl steven universe for this EXACT reason #also here's how aroace lennier can stil wi— *gunshots*

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

I'm so fascinated (respectfully) by people who experience sexual attraction.

That's wild, you were just going about your business one day and what? The puberty fairy gave you an intense desire to kiss some thighs? You looked around and saw a bum and were like 'nothing would bring me greater pleasure than to grab that bum' It sounds made up.

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

I've said before "I don't want to be attractive, I want to inspire awe."

Unfortunately, being 5'3" means I'm more likely to inspire "aww!"

FML.

So much of gender is about attraction. of being 'attractive', 'desirable' and the 'want to be desired' that i feel estranged from my gender a lot. embodying oneself, feels somewhat like a performance. more about how appealing you are to others rather than you living the best life. Such it is, that when i think about my gender, i'm not confused about it for a second. but i still find it somewhat vague. not quite right or fitting to say out loud. recently i've come to realize that's because simple things like painting nails, doing a hairstyle, shaving, choosing outfits or shoes or accessories all have this unspoken metric of 'attractiveness' attached to them. whenever i look at the mirror and find myself prettier than usual, (especially while going out), amatonormativity bears it's fangs and gets me to feel a little uncomfortable. the need to 'tone it down' creeps up on me. cause i might want to look pretty but i dont want to be attractive. even if it's little things like wearing a fancier earring or that traditional party wear. i'd rather wear studs and minimal jewellery (that and personal preference, it's a fine line.) i wanna look nice, but i want to remain lowkey as well. you know, in that way. without attraction, i'm always left feeling murky about how to be. and people go on living full lives unperturbed by amatanormativity.