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secretsxfpurgatxry ¡ 5 years
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the absolute fucking height of comedy is scientists and scholars getting into fights over incredibly niche subjects. the idea of nerds in labcoats and suits getting close to blows over something that only like 20 people care about is so funny. 
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secretsxfpurgatxry ¡ 5 years
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secretsxfpurgatxry ¡ 5 years
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really should re-work this blog a bit h
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secretsxfpurgatxry ¡ 5 years
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“... it’s best not to ask, but.. since you asked, well.. imagine all of a sudden you get red spots all over your body. then all of a sudden you get an empty feeling in your body as if you have been stabbed on multiple areas across your body, and next thing you know, holes are all over your body. you feel a very tingling sensation from the air entering the exposed holes, and then.. you start bleeding from every orifice in your body. Within 30 seconds, your body collapses and you die from blood loss.. That’s what Z told me how it works. One of the customers got very nauseated and ran off. I almost punched him for that. =w= Anyway.... Only a couple of holes on my arms appeared, but they disappeared the moment I glitched out. If you’re trypophobic, I highly recommend shutting your eyes. Not sure how it works on Specters, but on Ghouls and Burnts.. If you or your party get affected by it, then.. I suggest reacting within 30 seconds before they die. Yes, you can bring them back with jokers and other reviving items, but.. the thought of letting someone die from that kind of plague... is a very scary concept that I’d rather not take chances with.”
pastxpuppeteer
She shrugged, “You got me, I’m not that young either- although, I think I heard someone use ‘gucci’ once?” she tilted her head in thought, “I think I’ll stick to using ‘awesome’ or ‘radical’.” she let out a short laugh, “So anyway, what’s next?” her eyes lit up in excitement once again.
She opened her mouth and tried to ask her politely what she meant by that, but what came out was:“..the fuck does gucci mean???????” she then scratched her head a bit and pondered for a split second before she ended up going to get the other weapon. It looked like a wand, on the tip was an unusual star-shape.
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secretsxfpurgatxry ¡ 5 years
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“Well, it does look like a wand, but.. I have no idea why it’s shaped like that. All I know is that this is simply known as the Plague. No literally, that’s what it’s called! I wish I was joking, but.. Z literally named it as such because it inflicts the plague on enemies, and if the person isn’t equipped with this” Alpha pulled out a bracelet from her bag and slowly took Rae’s hand and put it on her wrist: “then there’s a slight chance that you’d get the plague too.. that shit can’t be cured with Abaddon meat... found out later that Hell Water can cure the plague effect, but only Starna makes those.... Yes, yes.. I already tested it without the bracelet and I glitched into the nether so bad that I was stuck in between the ceiling and the floor...” 
she scoffed a bit, handing her the weapon. “I got several more bracelets for your party as well..”
pastxpuppeteer
She shrugged, “You got me, I’m not that young either- although, I think I heard someone use ‘gucci’ once?” she tilted her head in thought, “I think I’ll stick to using ‘awesome’ or ‘radical’.” she let out a short laugh, “So anyway, what’s next?” her eyes lit up in excitement once again.
She opened her mouth and tried to ask her politely what she meant by that, but what came out was:“..the fuck does gucci mean???????” she then scratched her head a bit and pondered for a split second before she ended up going to get the other weapon. It looked like a wand, on the tip was an unusual star-shape.
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secretsxfpurgatxry ¡ 5 years
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pastxpuppeteer
She shrugged, “You got me, I’m not that young either- although, I think I heard someone use ‘gucci’ once?” she tilted her head in thought, “I think I’ll stick to using ‘awesome’ or ‘radical’.” she let out a short laugh, “So anyway, what’s next?” her eyes lit up in excitement once again.
She opened her mouth and tried to ask her politely what she meant by that, but what came out was:“..the fuck does gucci mean???????” she then scratched her head a bit and pondered for a split second before she ended up going to get the other weapon. It looked like a wand, on the tip was an unusual star-shape.
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secretsxfpurgatxry ¡ 5 years
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She went over to her and gently patted her on the head. “Don’t feel bad now, you testing them out for me is enough. I can tell Z that his new wares are.. ‘bomb’?? Is that how new-gen people speak?? God I feel older than I already am.”
pastxpuppeteer
Rae yelped as the target came to life, and immediately took a battle stance, she decided to strike the specter back to give her more time to use the competence attack. She took a deep breath and focused her energy just as the specter came wailing back at her with another attack.
“Striking Ribs!” she shouted, twirling the staff behind her, before swinging it around and- just as the name implied- struck the target in the ribcage. The enemy screeched out in pain as it fell to the ground, twitching and obviously paralyzed.
Her lips curled up into a smile, seemingly proud of the weapon’s effect, and the way Rae used it with such precision.“Good. Now remember. you only have 10 turns until the paralysis effect wears off. Because that training dummy has low HP, you can finish it off with one blow, so go on and kill it.” 
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secretsxfpurgatxry ¡ 5 years
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"it’s a keeper, huh?” she said, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, observing the whole thing. She’s getting better with her attacks, which was good. “Don’t forget that you have other weapons to try out. Anyways, if you like the weapons, feel free to keep them. Don’t think I’m going to charge you for it, so consider it a little gift from me to you.” 
pastxpuppeteer
Rae yelped as the target came to life, and immediately took a battle stance, she decided to strike the specter back to give her more time to use the competence attack. She took a deep breath and focused her energy just as the specter came wailing back at her with another attack.
“Striking Ribs!” she shouted, twirling the staff behind her, before swinging it around and- just as the name implied- struck the target in the ribcage. The enemy screeched out in pain as it fell to the ground, twitching and obviously paralyzed.
Her lips curled up into a smile, seemingly proud of the weapon’s effect, and the way Rae used it with such precision.“Good. Now remember. you only have 10 turns until the paralysis effect wears off. Because that training dummy has low HP, you can finish it off with one blow, so go on and kill it.” 
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secretsxfpurgatxry ¡ 5 years
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pastxpuppeteer
Rae yelped as the target came to life, and immediately took a battle stance, she decided to strike the specter back to give her more time to use the competence attack. She took a deep breath and focused her energy just as the specter came wailing back at her with another attack.
“Striking Ribs!” she shouted, twirling the staff behind her, before swinging it around and- just as the name implied- struck the target in the ribcage. The enemy screeched out in pain as it fell to the ground, twitching and obviously paralyzed.
Her lips curled up into a smile, seemingly proud of the weapon’s effect, and the way Rae used it with such precision.“Good. Now remember. you only have 10 turns until the paralysis effect wears off. Because that training dummy has low HP, you can finish it off with one blow, so go on and kill it.” 
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secretsxfpurgatxry ¡ 5 years
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“One second.” she said, going back into the shop to pull out a training dummy. Or so it seemed.. It didn’t look like a regular old training dummy. “Oh, forgot to mention. Z also sold me a bunch of specter dummies. He was concerned about old-fashioned training dummies and claimed that ‘it just doesn’t feel right’. He’s shitting at this point, I’m fine with regular old dummies, but I suppose that, if we’re practicing competence effects, then we need a live target.” she sounded quite annoyed while tossing the dummy in her general direction. Soon enough, the dummy rose and let out a blood curdling screech at Rae, immediately going in for the kill. 
“Oh well it’s uhh… nothing to worry about.” Louis would kill her if she told anyone he had a crush on the merchant.
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“Well it’s a good thing I stock up on plenty of silver and golden flesh!” she grinned proudly, “I’m always ready for battle.” her hands rested on her hips, as she sweltered confidence, “Now lemme at that Rib striker! Sounds like a cool move.”
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“Huh, alright then.” she said, handing her the weapon, it looked like every other normal staff, what was so different was that the handle wasn’t made out of metal, but.. out of Plastic? It felt quite watery to the touch, but it didn’t slip out of her grasp what so ever. Alpha chuckled a bit at her remark, only to then cover her mouth suddenly. “.. Apologies.. your remark made me giggle I guess..” she commented while looking away a bit.
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secretsxfpurgatxry ¡ 5 years
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“Oh well it’s uhh… nothing to worry about.” Louis would kill her if she told anyone he had a crush on the merchant.
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“Well it’s a good thing I stock up on plenty of silver and golden flesh!” she grinned proudly, “I’m always ready for battle.” her hands rested on her hips, as she sweltered confidence, “Now lemme at that Rib striker! Sounds like a cool move.”
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“Huh, alright then.” she said, handing her the weapon, it looked like every other normal staff, what was so different was that the handle wasn’t made out of metal, but.. out of Plastic? It felt quite watery to the touch, but it didn’t slip out of her grasp what so ever. Alpha chuckled a bit at her remark, only to then cover her mouth suddenly. “.. Apologies.. your remark made me giggle I guess..” she commented while looking away a bit.
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secretsxfpurgatxry ¡ 5 years
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“Hm? Louis hanging out with Zacharie? Wonder what’s that all about.” she was a bit curious, but shrugged, not even noticing the ever growing blush on Rae’s face. In great detail, she explained the weapons she bought, how much it cost, the effects it inflicts on enemies, et cetera. It was a merchant’s habit of explaining the items in such intricate detail in order to get the customer to consider buying the item, no matter how expensive it was. “Alright, so the first one’s competence ability, known as “Striking Ribs” has a 70% chance of inflicting paralysis on multiple enemies, so if you ever get in a jiffy or you’re unable to run away, use that move. The downside to that effect is that the paralysis effect keeps them down for only 10 turns, so use your abilities wisely when striking them down. Keep in mind however, it does cost a lot of competence to use it.. i think about.. 90 cp. If you have an amulet which halves your cp usage equipped, then it uses about 45 cp. Still a lot, but you won’t be wasting too much of your cp that way.”
Hey @pastxpuppeteer, can you do me a favor real quick? I bought a couple new weapons from Z and I’d like you to test them out for me. I am sure you’d like it. 
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secretsxfpurgatxry ¡ 5 years
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“Well..Yea, you heard me right. Need someone to test them out for me, and you’re the one within close vicinity. I could have asked someone else, but either they’re busy or.. they’re missing in action.” there was a quick pause before Alpha added to the notion while putting the weapons out on display: “I mean that they might not be available. Max just had top surgery so he’s taking time to recover, Puff chose to be beside his husband, and not sure what everyone else is doing, but I am pretty sure they’re busy.. Back on topic however, what I have been told from these puppies is that each weapon is equipped with one competence ability, so I’m kind of curious what they are. I got them from a Zacharie, who.. goes by the name “Z” for some reason.. Not sure what his deal is, but he offered up some weapons for me to try out. They were a bit on the expensive side, but when I heard that they’re invoked with one competence ability, I couldn’t resist myself and bought a couple.” 
Hey @pastxpuppeteer, can you do me a favor real quick? I bought a couple new weapons from Z and I’d like you to test them out for me. I am sure you’d like it. 
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secretsxfpurgatxry ¡ 5 years
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Hey @pastxpuppeteer, can you do me a favor real quick? I bought a couple new weapons from Z and I’d like you to test them out for me. I am sure you’d like it. 
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secretsxfpurgatxry ¡ 5 years
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Sinday Asks
1. Is your muse a virgin? If not, how old were they when they lost their virginity?
2. Are they sexually active?
3. When was the last time they had sex?
4. What was the most dirtiest place they had sex in? (Example: the public bathroom, the park, movie theater, etc.)
5. Do they masturbate often?
6. Tell us about their best and worst sex experience? 
7. Did they ever had sex when people were around?
8. Have they ever been caught having sex?
9. When was the last time they had a wet dream? Bonus if you can describe it as much as you can in detail.
10. Describe their expression when having an orgasm.
11. How long can they live without sex?
12. Would you consider your muse to be kinky?
13. What’s their favorite sex position(s)?
14. What’s their least favorite sex position(s)?
15. Tell us about their sex fantasy? Things they want to try and do, but haven’t yet.
16. Describe the way your muse’s moan during sex. (Example: are they loud, are they quiet, etc.)
17.  How long can they last before they cum?
18. If your muse can have sex with anyone right now, who would it be? If your muse has a partner, who would they invite to have a threesome with?
19. Give us a sexcanon about your muse that not many people knows about.
20. Are they proud of their kinks? Is there a kink they’re too ashamed to share?
21. How old were they when they learned about sex?
22. How does their foreplay go down?
23. Is your muse dominant or submissive or both?
24. How does their afterglow look like?
25. Wild card: ask any nsfw questions you’re curious about for my muse.
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secretsxfpurgatxry ¡ 5 years
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You’ve heard of buff tired parent, get ready for
extremely soft(tm) energetic parent. 
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