regardless we have a right to not want to have to deal with that near constantly in our lives. I’m pretty sure a fair amount abusers don’t deliberately want to be pieces of shit, they just are not okay mentally. Sounds familiar? Please at least fucking try to not go out of your way to harass us. Block us, get rid of any association with us so regardless of if your’e in control or not you don’t do this and respect us wanting nothing to do with you.
Telling a survivor that they were the real abuser purely because they're mentally ill is abusive behavior. I would argue it's gaslighting; you're telling a survivor that their memories and experiences didn't really happen, and that it's somehow their fault. If you do this to abuse victims, you are not an ally, and you make me sick.
sorry if my impossible standards were for you to respect simple fucking boundaries like not harrassing me or my friends :) we have no obligation to put up with you or your shit.
there’s a difference between “being canceled” and “facing consequences” but there’s also a fine line between “facing consequences” and “deincentivizing growth and change” and i think that needs to be grappled with more. i’m not saying all mistakes need to be forgiven by everyone, but people who make mistakes are people, and if it becomes clear that not only will they will never be forgiven for their past, but that they will also be continually punished, then it’s a normal human response to grow frustrated and stop trying, and the holier-than-thou response of “well if they were really sorry, they would willingly accept all the punishments we throw their way” is stupid. what does pulling receipts up from 20 years ago do? who do these “gotcha” moments help?
ummmmm okay. because this is genuine harrassment. want proof?
and there’s so much more, we’ve told you to leave us alone and not associate with us. this isn’t some ongoing punishment we’re inflicting on you this isn’t about you it’s about us not wanting to deal with your behaviour for our own mental health. we’ve been there for you for years, there comes a point when it becomes too much. You never respected our boundaries or us as your friends and you continue to have no respect for our privacy and right to tell you to leave us alone.
:/
Telling a survivor that they were the real abuser purely because they're mentally ill is abusive behavior. I would argue it's gaslighting; you're telling a survivor that their memories and experiences didn't really happen, and that it's somehow their fault. If you do this to abuse victims, you are not an ally, and you make me sick.