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unbelievable

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I'm DEAD.

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ericsons is a private boarding school for troubled kids WHERE are the UNIFORMS??

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will i ever finish writing this thing or am i just gonna keep drawing it instead,,,

this one goes out to anyone who saw the v+m heart carving on the wall and went “hm maybe i should stay out of this” but still wanted to romance violet

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Decomposers’ waltz.

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been thinking about joel and tommy’s chat in part I. how joel was ready to leave ellie with tommy. he asks his brother for some simple gear to send him on his way and states that getting ellie all the way to the fireflies wasn’t something he wanted for himself. “this isn’t for me. it’s for your damn cause.”  that thread is something i’ve been plucking at.

joel lost sarah and it’s implied that he tried to kill himself at some point when ellie finds the bodies in the bathtub in the hotel in pittsburgh and suggests that they took the easy way out. “it ain’t easy.”

troy has said in several interviews that joel pushed himself to not care about  people, that every time he cares he loses. distancing himself from that pain, while a terrible tactic is what he does to survive the pain. it’s obvious that he cares about tess. much of his time with her is him defaulting to her leadership, caring for her when she is injured. he clearly has feelings and respects the fuck out of her. sure she can take care of herself, but when she lets him care for her it’s always soft and reverent. joel is after all a romantic at heart.

which brings me to the sweater this thread of thought is unraveling. if the hand off with ellie had gone smoothly, if joel had been able to set on his way, would he have continued to survive? would he want to. in his mind getting the girl to the fireflies was tess’s final crusade, not saving the world, not saving ellie. he did what she asked of him one last time. now he has no one, no where to go to. he is brash with tommy, keeping him at a distance even though he has a chance to make amends in the moment. maria is pissed at joel, “if anything happens to him… its on you.” (which side note/ side reach part II kinda hits, joels death. leads to a lot of loss for maria) joel’s body language is heavy, minimal eye contact, clearly in his head, like he’s grappling with what comes next, that he is once again leaving his brother worse off for some selfish reason. but as joel said himself, it’s better this way.

joel is complex, imperfect, broken by the shattered world around him. many other people survived through ruthlessness and that rugged individualism you see in many facets of survivalism. however, that only gets you so far. when you encounter an unknown with no one to help you, you most likely will not survive. after all joel attached himself to groups and people to make it through as long as he did. even if he kept to himself.  the ones that succeed long term are the ones that build community and some meaningful connection with those around them. when you reject that connection, you reject that reason to keep fighting. joel has always had a reason to fight. i think we see that at the end. this resurgence of that will to fight he had lost, but it was at the cost of ellie’s agency. and that doesn’t make what he did right.

if ellie hadn’t run off i can’t shake the thought that joel might have set off to end his life. maybe not directly, but gone off with just enough to barely survive. hoping that something would take him out before he had to.

in the end, joel got that. the cost this time was that he was healing, moving away from that dark place and trying to be better even though he had lost ellie. he had to learn to fight for himself and accept that his actions had consequences. he also got a few more years that he probably never expected to have out of it. he got his brother back, was respected by his community, and if things had gone better, the chance to take responsibility for the harm he caused ellie and try to fix what he broke.

the world is cruel and he got what he wanted not when he wanted it

there’s still more to this thread to tug on but for now i’m gonna hold off fiddling with it

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something that hurts me the most is how many scars Ellie has before Seattle and after. Just looking at her face is so much different. She’s only about a year older but she’s aged so much, she’s so young

It's harder these days, to perceive her body as it is. To catch a glimpse of herself in a casino window rail thin, skin scorched by sun, clothes still covered in yesterdays blood. Even harder to meet her own gaze. To stare in the grungy rest stop mirror and see a stranger staring back. Her face was always going to change, it's part of growing older. That change was supposed to be slow, mark points in her life. One day she's washing dirt off her face and the next day the water has washed away a layer of skin to reveal her true face. As if all the scars that she couldn't see before, had pushed themselves to the surface of her skin. The pain she's held in for so long finally bursting through to mar her features.

The slice on her upper lip, Riley's horrific screams, begging Ellie to kill her or fucking leave her behind, as they grew less and less human.

A dozen barely visible little pock marks hidden with in the array of freckles on her face, as if Jesse's blood had burned where it landed, his kind eyes once filled with so much love and life, quieted. Glazed over in a flash.

A bit of her chin, still shiny after all these months stands out to her as Joel's grunts of pain and the solid thud of iron hitting flesh as the pressure of the cold floor of the chalet pressing harshly into her cheek. Fighting the pounding reverberations of her heartbeat in her head, as she tried to blink tears away to see Joel clearly one last time.

A new scar under her eyebrow running parallel, and Sam is clawing at her face trying to bite her, as she wonders if he knows what he's doing, knows that she was wrong. His body going limp enough for her to push him off watching what's left of him,looking painfully human, painfully young, twitch and shudder as his brother paints the walls with his brains. His grief nothing more than a pink mist dissipating in the air as quickly as it appeared.

There is Tess, a deep furrow of skin carved into her shoulder. A final stand with hopeless odds and an outcome that was never in her favor. Standing tall to the end against the relentless forces opposing her. Begging only for meaning in the nothingness. For there to be something after all this time.

The scars a manifestation of the guilt inside, welling over, into loss, self-hatred. For every person she's lost, how many had she taken away herself?

Always spiraling out until there, on her arm.

Evidence that someone could still be gentle with her after her world had stilled from it's whirlwind of violence long enough for her to sit in the eye and catch her breath.

Carefully stitched back up with love and it's the only one that hurts because there is no body to mourn, the loss hurts more than anything she thought she'd ever bare. And yet, bracketing the raised white line are the scars from the suture, evenly spaced dots that proved after she was torn apart, she was put back together by love.

This time she'd have to do that herself, no one would take the needle from her hands this time. Not surrounded by immolated bodies in an abandoned restroom off a former highway.

She'd have to take care of this hand, clear the infection out of her side, because one day these scars will fade, like her brow had over the past 7 years.

Alone she'd have to start the process, stitch by stitch, she'd bring her broken parts back together again. It won't be perfect, but underneath it will still be her.

The scars won't fade away completely, but they'll heal.

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Parallels between The Last of Us (2013), The Last of Us: Left Behind (2014), and The Last of Us Part II (2020)

(2/2)

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Parallels between The Last of Us (2013), The Last of Us: Left Behind (2014), and The Last of Us Part II (2020)

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short animatic where tiny dina and jesse dare ellie to sing an embarrassing song

ashley johnson voices tulip from infinity train and she sings word up in one scene so i wanted to give it a try and make a rough animatic where ellie sings that same song to jesse and dina ! it’s silly and probably doesn’t make sense but i just wanted to see team jackson hanging out

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a wip i wanna finish soon, inspired by @silverislander​‘s role swap au fic!

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Through The Valley from the Last of Us 2 trailer but played on an old radio

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STOP ASIAN HATE

Like and reblog

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PLEASE HER CHUCKLE

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As I mentioned in my TLOU2 posts, I’ve decided to draw an unofficial (Ellie’s) journal for the first part of the game too. It is obviously purely fan made and for entertainment purposes; just to be clear, these pages do not exist.  

I’ve started with the TLOU American Dream comicbook and then the Left Behind expansion, as they are both prior to The Last of Us 1 game and they share the same plot. 

TLOU American Dream - Left behind (Ellie’s journal)

Pages 1-6

The Last of Us 2 (Ellie’s in-game journal):

Pages 01-06   Pages 07-10  Pages 11-15  Pages 16-21 

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A rough storyboard reel of the Louis date scene in The Walking Dead: The Final Season episode 2! I was the Cinematic Artist for this scene and was responsible for the character staging, camera placement (aka 3D layout), and final acting polish. 

Typically, most cinematic artists will work directly into the proprietary software to make the interactive cutscenes you know and love. As somebody coming from an animation/storyboarding background, I preferred drawing out little sketches of the scene beforehand and doing my planning on paper. Now that I have an abundance of free time thanks to my untimely unemployment, why not clean up those little sketches and make a reel out of it?? 

FUN BEHIND-THE-SCENES TRIVIA: 

At the beginning of the scene (not shown here), Louis plays a little improv’d song right before asking about their ‘imminent deaths.’ Jared Emerson-Johnson, the composer for TWDG and basically most TTG games, came up with something like 16 piano-improv variants. The final one in the game was deemed ‘most silly-to-sad’ by our creative directors.

There originally was a 3rd option response to Louis asking if you’re ‘done tattooing that piano.’ The carving was deemed too inappropriate and was axed early on.

Ruby calling out, “Clem!! You out there?!” at the end was a last minute addition to the scene, to make sure the romantic/friendship branches ended the same way (and also to mirror the Violet scene).