Thorin: Azog, my old arch enemy.
Thranduil: ... I thought I was your arch enemy?
Thorin: I have a life outside of you, Thranduil.
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*Fili and Kili sitting in jail together*
Kili: So who should we call?
Fili: I’d call Thorin, but I feel safer in jail.
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Kili: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you.
Legolas: 10 times 0 is still 0 though.
Kili: Jokes on you, I can't do math.
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Thorin: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck.
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Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Thranduil*
Thranduil: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.
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When Gandalf Went Off To Recruit Bilbo...
Thorin, about Bilbo: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.
Fili: Are we stealing them?
Kili: New or used?
Thorin: Wonderful responses, both of you.
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I gotchu fam. To anyone who sees this, please do reblog and spread the word! Such simple actions could mean the world to someone. Let's spread some pma. 😊✨
Tumblr, I have a mission for you
So, I’ve always been a pretty terrible student. I was what teachers not-so-subtly referred to as “The Problem Child” because my autism, anxiety and depression often get so bad that I can’t really get to class much, and that makes it harder to get work done, so I end up failing a lot of my classes, unfortunately. I’ve been to six schools so far, and I’ve struggled like hell at all of them.
But now, I’m in my Senior Year of High School. I have insufficient credits, so I’ll end up graduating a bit later than most other kids my age, but I’m closer to getting out of this hell-hole than ever before. And I want to do something special for when I finally do, so I have a request for all other Tumblr users:
When I manage to Graduate, can we please throw an Online Celebration?
Because honestly, whether it’s a simple Congratulations to a Celebratory Gif to a Piece of Art or a Written out Piece, anything and everything would be appreciated on my big day. I’ll reblog this with the Announcement the day I Graduate, so you can all know when to celebrate. I can even post pictures of the ceremony (if there is any) and my reaction if you’d like. Please reblog this to get the word out, and if you feel so inclined, please try to do something special when I make the announcement.
I’m sorry if this sounds stupid or selfish, but this is a really really important thing for me, so literally anything kind would be appreciated once I give the go-ahead. Graduating has been a big goal for me; ever since I was 6 years old, I never thought I’d be able to do it. So I want the day I finally do to be really special. Please, please be kind about this, because I’m honestly very excited and emotional about this. Thank you all so much for your kindness, it really does mean more than you could ever know.
Tags: @red-riding, @art–school–wannabe, @moony-artnstuff, @lunatora-enero, @pistachiozombie, @fizzyxcustard, @lady-who-owns-a-sword, @polliwogboi; Could you please help me get the word out? I really need help with this.
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Tauriel: Why is his majesty so sad?
Legolas: He took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes.
Legolas: He got Thorin.
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Fili: Why are your tongues purple?
Thorin: We had slushies. I had a blue one.
Bilbo: I had a red one.
Kili: You drank each other's slushies?
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Bilbo: What do you think Kili will do for a distraction?
Fili: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Fili: ... or he could do that.
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I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that this is my second most popular incorrect quote in this whole blog—
... Like... Why???
Don't get me wrong, it's not the worst but at the same time like, there are so many other better ones! Why out of all that did this be the one to blow up???
I'm just confused man, algorithm's wack...
Bilbo: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Fili: That's why I carry more than one.
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Frodo: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?
Gandalf: *turning to Pippin* How tall are you?
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Bilbo: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.
The Company: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Thorin: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.
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Tiny lil Thorin is adorable. 🥺
It made me wonder how much the company(and others) would've melted if Thorin had been accidentally but temporarily de-aged into a tiny toddler dwarfling.
Thank you!!! I love the concept of tiny baby Thorin too much.... a disaster
I’m sure the company would've probably loved him after they got past his prickly kiddy exterior and rude manners tbh 😂 but until then...
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The ponies when they heard who were in charge of looking after them: Our lives are in the hands of an idiot!
Kili, motioning to himself and Fili: No no no no no, TWO idiots!
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(spins the wheel) thorin with hair tied up and as a cat, NOW
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THE FANDOM'S CREATIVITY IS SENDING ME AAAA—
bodyguard dog thorin
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If Kili Had Reported Back Like He Should Have At Ravenhill...
Kili: Okay, I've got some good news and I've got some bad news.
Thorin: What's the good news?
Kili: The orcs are indeed hiding inside the towers.
Thorin: I said good news.
Kili: I know.
Azog: *suddenly comes out holding Fili*
Kili: That's the bad news.
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Dis: You were happy once, Thorin.
Thorin: I was never happy. I was just less pissed off.
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*After seeing Tauriel for the very first time*
Kili: I'm not sure if I want to fight you or ask you out.
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