saraitosara-blog

[saraitosara-blog]

a dream note on icloud

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I woke up and wrote about the dream from 3 June 2018. Maybe fell asleep again after I wrote this down.

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It was a weird dream.

I was at someone’s funeral. I was solving some chemistry problems with Kaworu.

Our text books was the same but hers had some toolkits for experiments and mine didn’t have any. I was in a bad mood and pouting because I was poor and couldn’t afford it. Kaworu told me that she got them from a pharmacy for free when she got the membership of the pharmacy.

The problem I was solving was so difficult and I said ahh I’m dying for this tough problem. Then I realized that I said it in a room in a room where someone dead is lying at the corner. I felt so bad and wanted to punch me for saying that.

I moved to a same looking room where I was solving the problem, with two bathrooms next to each other inside. It was also a restaurant that I used to eat kapsalon and it was where my friend used to live some other time.

I was looking at a list of restaurants with someone and we were about to go to the kapsalon restaurant but I couldn’t tell her that it was my house now. I didn’t know what to do.

[saraitosara-blog]

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21 July 2019 some thoughts for the exhibition (I wrote this diary so badly so not many things make sense)

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Was it when I was on the train feeling dizzy? Or, was it when I was smoking in North Village (Shisha bar)? I don’t remember.

Ah, it was when Chiba-kun showed me his old resume from his cinema class in university. 

I stopped at this short phrase somewhere on the resume. “What is art? Who are you?” What is art for me and who am I?

Now I probably know better about myself compared to 5 years ago but still not enough. I’m still looking for an answer to the question and taking photos might be one of the activities for the journey.

I know my art is only possible in many cases when someone poses in front of my camera. Otherwise I haven’t created anything nice without any visual inspirations.

Even though I need a lot of help by people, I feel like I’m capable of anything by myself and that reminds me of Christopher Mccandless from “Into the Wild.”

It was only when he found he’s dying in Alaska that he learnt that humans cannot be happy without being shared.

It was too late for him but I sometimes find myself trying not to rely on anything but achieve something, believing in myself. Like, I can do whatever I imagine.

That might be common human error.

No matter how much I like solitude or I try to be alone, that’s a lie.

In my heart I want to see different worlds, look into someone’s ideas and thoughts.

Faceless portraits might be the message, “I’d like to know about you” as if I’m a real curious person. Or it is “look at me” desire that Sara Ito secretly have behind her indifferent face. 

Not taking pure portrait with people’s expressions shows my ego: I can’t be perfect if I borrow someone’s help. My ego sometimes doesn’t allow people to look at the lens. I don’t love the personal influence by others on my creative world. 

But I still want others to see my stuff. I still need someone’s involvement in the exposure phase of my art.

[saraitosara-blog]

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09-01-2019 The first page of the guestbook from photography exhibition at cafe Kenohi

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Konnichiwa Saraitokyo desu.

Thank you for coming all the way to this photography exhibition “karadagatari” and even open this guestbook.

There might be someone like me who thinks too much and doesn’t know what to write down on such a book. So I prepared some pages with subjects to write or draw. Feel free to flip through the book to find the page you feel comfortable to write down stuff. 

You’re also very welcome to give me your impression of my work or message foe me. Anything you write will make me happy and be motivated.

In case if you wrote something a bit too cheesy, you don’t need to write your names or hide your name with black masking tape attached to the notebook. (So if you see someone covering their name, you are not allowed to see it but I am.)

I hope you’ll have a beautiful day.

Sara

[saraitosara-blog]

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24-09-2019�� Travel notes from Naoshima trip

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I got on the train leaving Tokyo at 9.

Now that was the second time of visiting Naoshima, Naoshima visit by my self without you.

Every place in this island reminded me of you.

Chichu Art Museum that we missed to go last summer, was a minimalist architecture with artworks inside, which I thought are out of the world.

I hope I can come here again with you.

In evening I took a bath at “I♡湯” (”I♡YU”,Public bath) and stayed at a gueshouse called “路地明” (”Rojiakari”: back alley lights). I made friend with a French girl called Juliette and a Swiss guy called Mattew at the guesthouse. There were also some Americans but I didn’t feel like that we can be friends.

If I would immigrate and have a community, it’d be somewhere in Europe I think.

(Illustration of bread, “Juliette gave me a toast”)

[saraitosara-blog]

Introduction

You might be arriving in Frankfurt by now.

I hope you enjoyed the time in Japan and fully got charged for your coming work days.

The conversation we had in the shinkansen from Osaka to Shinyokohama made me think of this project: translating any Japanese writings that I did so far and show Japanese side of me. 

As you said, I guess have deeper and more colorful personality in Japanese communications which I cannot deny and I get bothered at the same time.

So this project is actually for me to bring English speaking Sara close to the Japanese speaking Sara. I feel this is necessary for me now for many reasons. 

So the project is about:

- find a text to translate from my diaries, memos, blogs or whatever and whenever I wrote in Japanese.

- translate from Japanese to English with all effort.

- post here in Tumblr.

I’m excited for this to be read by you. It might be a bit embarrassing but I’m in the mood to do something embarrassing.

Let’s hope that I will be a better English speaker and writer.

XX