saintsheriff

[saintsheriff]

⠀⠀MAYBE RICK HAD BEEN A SOMEWHAT ABSENT DAD before the world went to shit. he'd never particularly noticed the fire in his son. it wasn't something you just gained, carl had been a strong kid from the beginning. unknowing of what the future held, he'd still believed his dad was alive and that he could go back to find him. rick rarely voiced his pride in carl, especially these days, but he felt it immensely and every day. it was overwhelming.

⠀⠀‘i blamed her... for losing faith’ he kicks the dirt against the ground as he walks side by side with carl, ‘i guess people grieve in different ways. she lived with it by moving on, you lived with it by believing i was alive.’

⠀⠀SUDDENLY, HE COMES TO A HALT. rick's weight shifts to the left, securing his usual stance. he eyes the road ahead as he contemplates the past, the present and whatever the fuck this was that they were living through. ‘all that's left now is to do what's right... for you, for judith, for me. people are gonna die, carl, no matter what we do. mom...’ rick trails off, placing a hand on his son's shoulder.

⠀⠀‘we just survive. and maybe we don't look back.’

❝ i could've kept a lot more people alive, though... ❞ HE'S NOT BLAMING HIMSELF FOR WHAT HAPPENED AT THE PRISON, but there's so many other occasions where things he did or didn't do could've saved people. if he'd tried harder to get help, maybe he could've saved his mother; if he hadn't snuck out off the farm, maybe dale wouldn't have died; if he'd insisted he and lori try to go get rick at the hospital, maybe shane wouldn't have died. there's always a lot of maybe that goes through carl's head. he's a teenage boy, there's always self - doubt running through his brain.

HE'D LOVED SHANE ALMOST LIKE AN UNCLE, putting him down wasn't easy at all. but if he hadn't, RICK WOULD'VE DIED. hearing his father say they planned to throw a self - defence party for him on his sixteenth birthday makes carl's stomach drop into his feet. these days, he's not sure he'll even SURVIVE to sixteen. there's so many times he could've ( and SHOULD'VE ) died, that he doesn't think he'll live to see his sixteenth birthday, let alone his eighteenth or twenty - first.

CARL DOESN'T EVEN LOOK AT HIS DAD, he keeps his eyes on the train tracks and his own feet, not looking up for anything. he's not ashamed, he just feels like he could've done more when the prison was attacked. ❝ i didn't wanna leave you, i tried to tell mom — ❞ it still hurts to mention her, knowing that she just got LEFT BEHIND at the prison ; it hurts knowing that carl broke his promise to her, the promise that he'd protect rick and judith. ❝ i tried to tell her we should just go back for you, but she didn't want me to get hurt. i almost went anyway, snuck out the first night after we left... but sophia stopped me. i knew you weren't dead, even if everyone else thought you were. ❞

#queued stuff and thangs. #♰ ╱ 𝘚𝘈𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘚𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘐𝘍𝘍⠀:⠀ interactions. #saintsheriff & carltongrimes. #MY APOLOGIES FOR TAKING SO LONG! #i love them so fkkdjcing much

[saintsheriff]

COMING BACK HERE TMRW! i got majorly burnt out at work and caught a delightful lil flu <3 but im feeling much better now

#tbd #cant wait to write again pls

[saintsheriff]

ANDREW LINCOLN as RICK GRIMES

THE WALKING DEAD (2010–2022) - “days gone bye” (1.01)

#♰ ╱ 𝘚𝘈𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘚𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘐𝘍𝘍⠀:⠀ visage. #this used to be my favourite era of rick ... #but s5 hit hard last rewatch

[saintsheriff]

i had work last night and again today (didn't get my 11hrs between shifts this is technically illegal) so that's where i am @ !!!! ill be around more after :3

#♰ ╱ 𝘚𝘈𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘚𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘐𝘍𝘍⠀:⠀ out of character.

[saintsheriff]

⠀⠀YOU AIN'T GOT ANY IDEA ABOUT MY PROBLEMS, rick replies bitterly. his hand is not on his revolver, but it could change at any moment: he's quick. rick looks down at the animal trap set before his feet. the classic snare, tie the wire around a branch and loop it. it'll catch the rabbit mid-hop and dinner is served. now, he could've sworn that he put that there. no, rick is convinced.

⠀⠀BUT THERE IS NO RESOLVE. the woman opposite to him does not let up. ‘you got a camp around here? people?’ rick questions. why would she set a snare trap in a place she was unlikely to return to? it was thus simple: no camp, no snare. another possibility was that they had both set two separate snares and gotten confused. but neither of them looked like the type to concede.

inbox: @theirmadness / that looks like a you problem.

#queued stuff and thangs. #♰ ╱ 𝘚𝘈𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘚𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘐𝘍𝘍⠀:⠀ inbox. #saintsheriff & theirmadness [ agna. ] #<3 #LISTEN I WENT DOWN A ROGUE???? #FIRST MEETING ROUTE????

[saintsheriff]

every rick grimes playlist on spotify sounds like psychosis. i cant explain it just trust me

#♰ ╱ 𝘚𝘈𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘚𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘐𝘍𝘍⠀:⠀ out of character. #if being psychotic was a sound #every song in those playlists would be it #poor rick and his reputation

[saintsheriff]

⠀⠀THERE WAS NOT A CHANCE IN HELL, not after what rick had already seen, that he believed what beth and her family had about the walkers. but he could sympathise with it. he had watched morgan struggle to take down his wife. rick himself had held out hope that his wife and son were alive when all odds were stacked against him. why wouldn't the greene’s do the same?

⠀⠀I DIDN’T THINK HE’D MIND rick hushes, eyeing the plate of untouched food on beth’s dresser. he came with a whole new tray of hot soup and bread; he didn’t know what to do with it now. rick places it on the nightstand closest to beth, feeling a little too awkward to sit or kneel next to her bed. ‘carrot and uh, other vegetables’ he gestures to the soup bowl, ‘maggie says you haven’t eaten. i don’t know what you like, but it smells pretty damn good.’

⠀⠀HE CONTEMPLATES LEAVING, not quite ready to say what he came in for. but it would only bug him for longer. the guilt rick felt was heavy. it was an insane idea to keep walkers locked in the barn. but it was ill-informed, and most importantly it was their choice. not his, not shane’s. ‘i apologise you had t'see that’ rick admits, his head hanging low.

plotted starter with @saintsheriff

Sunlight streams in through the large window of her childhood bedroom. Beth recalls how much that used to please her, being doused in sunshine, warm, and content. She can't even seem to conjure up those feelings anymore. It's all been tainted. Every good memory she had has been tarnished by the stumbling corpse of her mother, the sound of the final bullet that put her down, the look in her eyes as she tried to bite Beth. It's all playing over and over on a loop, and Beth just wants it all to stop.

She barely registers the sound of the door opening, only opening her eyes as she feels the mattress dip slightly with the weight of someone else sitting there. She assumes it's Maggie, and she's shocked when she realises it's Rick. Why would he be there?

"Did my Daddy tell you to come in here?"

#queued stuff and thangs. #♰ ╱ 𝘚𝘈𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘚𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘐𝘍𝘍⠀:⠀ interactions. #saintsheriff & thesongbiird. #it was PERFECT! <3

[saintsheriff]

⠀⠀IT WAS A QUESTION HE HAD ANTICIPATED but not that he'd prepared to answer. rick didn't even know if he could answer in truth. the group had lost glenn and abraham brutally, which naturally tore rick up. but he also felt guilty that these deaths only constituted one part of his cowardice. rick had been completely emasculated in that line up, stripped naked of everything he had been -- a leader, a protector, someone to rely on -- and he began to think that he should not could not call the shots as before.

⠀⠀BUT THE SHOTS WERE GOING TO BE CALLED ANYWAY. didn't matter whether rick did it or not. but it did matter whether he stepped up or back. if not a leader, rick was still a protector ... as a friend. people were living in fear, people were going to die. it was realising that he didn't have to come back from whatever hole is was in, he didn't have to redeem himself. this wasn't about him. he just had to be there.

⠀⠀‘i can't be a pacifist in this war. if it's gonna happen, it ain't gonna happen without me. i owe that much.’ rick replies, his look sincere. ‘you were right-- about standing up. i just couldn't put the pieces together, i--’ he stops himself. no more of that.

⠀⠀HOW READY ARE WE? rick asks.

     𝘀𝗵𝗲  𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁  𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁  𝗮𝗻𝘆  𝗼𝗳  𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺  𝘁𝗼  𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽  𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴  𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁  𝗵𝗲𝗿,     she  didn't  need  to  be  fussed  over,  she  didn't  need  anyone  to  think  she  was  incapable  of  dealing  with  this.     she  just  had  to  keep  going.     she  had  to  be     𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆     for  the  fight  that  was  coming,  when  rick  was  finally  ready  for  it.     if  anything,  maggie  was  surprised  by  how  long  it  had  taken  rick  to  get  to  this  point.     it  would  be  maddening  if  she  hadn't  been  so  happy  to  see  everyone,  to  know  that  they  were  all  ready  to  end  this  with  negan  and  the  saviors.     what  she  hadn't  expected  was  for  rick  to  keep  pushing,  as  if  he  could  see  right  through  her  and  she  knew  that  she  had  always  been  on  the  brink  of     𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴  𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁,     which  she  refused  to  do.     if  she  allowed  herself  to  fall  apart,  she  wasn't  sure  she  would  ever  be  able  to  put  herself  back  together.

     𝗻𝗼𝗱𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴  𝗵𝗲𝗿  𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱,     not  looking  at  him  for  a  moment  as  she  tried  to  keep  herself  calm.     her  heart  was  racing  in  her  chest,  willing  herself  to  not  cry  because  the  grief  was  still  so  fresh  and  it  somehow  felt  so  new  with  everyone  else  right  here,     "     i'm  glad  to  see  you  too,  rick,     "     she  admits,  taking  a  deep  breath  before  looking  up  at  him  again.     maggie  meant  it,  after  everything  they  had  been  through,  rick  was  family  to  her  and  she  knew  that  she  couldn't  do  this  alone,  it  would  be  better  to  fight  this  with  him  right  beside  her.     arms  fold  across  her  chest,  standing  up  straight  as  she  looks  at  him,  pushing  all  her  emotions  aside  fro  a  moment,     "     what  happened?     what  changed  to  make  you  ready  to  fight?     "

#queued stuff and thangs. #♰ ╱ 𝘚𝘈𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘚𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘐𝘍𝘍⠀:⠀ interactions. #saintsheriff & w1dowed. #maggie rick love u both sm

[saintsheriff]

tell me i am not the only one who worries that if i dont reply to a thread in 0.2 seconds that the other writer will immediately lose interest

#♰ ╱ 𝘚𝘈𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘚𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘐𝘍𝘍⠀:⠀ out of character. #i am not writing tomorrow #because this mindset is SILLY #and we're gonna snap out of it !!!!!!!

[saintsheriff]

⠀⠀IN HIS ARMS, LENA HAD GROWN QUIET AND STIFF. she'd simply walked back into his life two days ago, ending what had been years of wondering about, grieving over and missing his little girl. the world today never seized to amaze rick. for tonight, he was sat on the sofa with lena. as if the world had not ended and the time had not passed. maybe she was visiting from college. lori had just served dinner, carl was showing off his new toys to lena and rick had just opened his second cold bottle of beer.

⠀⠀SHE'D COLLAPSED INTO HER FATHER, and he was singing to her. something he sang when she was very young, or to embarrass her in her teenage years. alexandria was quiet, 'cept for the hushed tones that rick repeated the lyrics in. ‘hang your head over, hear the wind blow-- len?’ he pauses, noticing a shift in her body.

inbox: @lostgrimesgirl / i'm fine, just... give me a minute.

⠀⠀RICK OBLIGES IMMEDIATELY, pushing her gently to arms length and observing her. it was so long ago since he had been reunited with lori and carl. the memory was vivid, but the feeling was somewhat faint. he couldn't truthfully imagine what lena was going through. his little arlene. she doesn't look fine, but rick would not pry unless she wanted him to. she is her own woman. however, his fatherly concern is evident all the same.

⠀⠀TAKE YOUR TIME, he whispers to lena. ‘me, carl, judith... we ain't goin' anywhere’ rick places a hand on his daughter's knee, coupling it with a reassuring squeeze.

#♰ ╱ 𝘚𝘈𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘚𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘐𝘍𝘍⠀:⠀ inbox. #saintsheriff & lostgrimesgirl. #<3 #i did not even put this into a queue because #you have been waiting for SO LONG! #my apologies i hope this is okay :3

[saintsheriff]

⠀⠀HE NODS WEAKLY AT THE MENTION OF the admin offices. bundling the vulnerable up in there, including his own son and daughter, was not what rick had wanted. but whatever this was, it was ripping through people faster than anyone could have anticipated. ‘i told him’ he replies, chewing the inner of his cheek and looking to the side as he thinks about carl, ‘i know you've got your hands full, but ... he can't leave. no matter what he says.’

⠀⠀RICK'S LOAD IS HARD TO LIFT and aiyla's quip escapes him. as much as he tried to make sense of it, he just couldn't. when would the world stop trying to kill them? if it wasn't the dead, it was the living. now this. rick's attention snaps back at promise me. ‘i'll be here, every second noon’ he clears his throat, skipping over the comment about himself, ‘if you need anything, you have my radio. smack it a few times if it doesn't work straight away.’

⠀⠀WHAT AIYLA IS DOING IS INVALUABLE to the group, let alone what she has already done. kept sophia alive, looked after judith while rick was incapacitated. rick has an overwhelming urge to hug her, a show of gratitude that had been foreign to him for a while. but he can't. he could very well be carrying whatever was taking people down. ‘i can't begin to thank you enough--’ rick sees evan lingering in the background, ‘think somebody wants you.’

"There is no other option."

his words are like a punch to the gut — their little group had been doing well after the governor ; creating something good and 𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐅𝐔𝐋 in a world that had become anything but. she admittedly hadn't known what she'd been expecting ( hoping ) for, but it hadn't been this. the colder months had always been remarkably harder in recent years and they'd been lucky to avoid any major sickness prior to now.

blue hues flitter 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐈𝐌 — seeking out their respective children ( evan is avidly listening to carl at his side — whatever they discuss is entirely lost to the pair of adults given their distance, but the childlike innocence both boys display — virtually unseen since the world spiraled to its end is... refreshing ).

it takes some time for her to respond, but aiyla finds herself grateful that the man lingers. "okay." it's so achingly simple that her gaze returns to him. "𝐈 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔, rick. i'll go find beth, judy and the others. you said the admin offices?" worrying at her lower lip, she resists the urge to reach out and give his arm a reassuring squeeze ( stops herself from promising that everything will work out in the end — there is no guarantee of such a thing anymore ).

"when you tell carl... maybe say that he needs to come with me to 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐔𝐒 should the need arise. just tell him everyone knows i'm rubbish with a handgun and i'm sure he'll believe you." lips quirk as she speaks, the tease light on her tongue as if hoping the airiness of her words will lessens some of the concern he might be feeling.

"𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐌𝐄 you'll come check in when you can? it will do us all some good to see you." the request is meant largely in part for his children but partially for herself — sequestered away and unaware of what was going on? the prospect made her notably nervous. "and remember to 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅, yeah?"

#queued stuff and thangs. #♰ ╱ 𝘚𝘈𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘚𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘐𝘍𝘍⠀:⠀ interactions. #saintsheriff & justsurv1vor. #<3 #LOVE THIS #s3/s4 is a fave rick era of mine

[saintsheriff]

I'm on season 5 of the walking dead and belive that "Rick Grimes wants the best for his family and is right about a lot of things" and "Rick Grimes is a menace to society and should be locked up for general protection and safety" are two statements that should and can coexist

#♰ ╱ 𝘚𝘈𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘚𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘐𝘍𝘍⠀:⠀ isms. #he is not crazy #he is *multifaceted*

[saintsheriff]

⠀⠀SHE DOESN'T GET ON HIS WICK, not at all. rick knows that she has his best intentions in mind. anybody who wanted to see him take a little bit of rest did. she was not the first, and probably wouldn't be the last. but they don't understand that this is what it takes to lead, to keep people safe. rick would rest when he was dead, and not a moment sooner.

⠀⠀‘i thought you hadn't slept.’ he pauses momentarily to look at emilia, realising his stubbornness had met its ultimate match. rick looks to the floor, hands on hips and breathes in and out. to argue would be to waste time. he takes a metal sheet from the floor and hands it to emilia, ‘got started on this part. see a gap? fill it.’ the walls were priority.

⠀⠀RICK CARRIES ON UNTIL A THOUGHT STOPS HIM. where was his compassion? he was busy, not an asshole. ‘hey’ rick sidles up next to emilia, ‘thank you.’ his words are deep and sincere, as is the look in his eyes.

everything feels so temporary now; walls, shelter, friendships – and maybe they always had been, even back before the world around them had gone to shit. maybe she’d just been too preoccupied with what had felt important at the time to realize just how fleeting all of it could be. but it’s unmistakable as the dust continues to settle from what had happened earlier; the attack had been a level of chaos she hadn’t experienced since leaving DC — one that deanna time and time again had refused to consider so long as the walls stayed up.

he looks like a modern-day sisyphus when she finds him; and even in only the brief amount of time she’s known him, emilia won’t say she’s surprised to find him out here while the rest of alexandria is still reeling from it all.  “c’mon,” when he tries to reassure her he’s a barely standing contradiction — trying to convince her that he’s alright while looking like a stiff wind could knock him right over if it wanted to. “i haven’t slept at all, and i know you haven’t either –” there’s more she wants to argue about to say but it all comes out as a sigh instead; palms resting on either side of her head to brush the stray pieces back and off her face.

“i’m not trying to get on your wick, i promise.” she’s always had a bit of a stubborn streak about her; always quick to lean into it when the occasion called for it – but the streak she currently finds herself up against in rick has hers beat by a mile. but what other choice does she have right now other than conceding? another sigh leaves her, “if i help, will you take a rest?”

#queued stuff and thangs. #♰ ╱ 𝘚𝘈𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘚𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘐𝘍𝘍⠀:⠀ interactions. #saintsheriff & florrentine. #chin hands kicks legs girly smirk

[saintsheriff]

travelling again tmrw so i’ll be hopefully getting some writing done in the process. HOWEVER i feel like i wanna talk more to you beautiful people soooo. consider this a plotting call!

#♰ ╱ 𝘚𝘈𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘚𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘐𝘍𝘍⠀:⠀ calls & memes. #will msg you on ims but my discord is available #i like writing but #i feel like it swallows all of my time up #to actually make friends and SOLID connections #so <3 #that will be my focus for a lil while

[saintsheriff]

⠀⠀RICK CAN SEE THE UNCERTAINTY in ben's eyes. he scans the room for pathways out, but their options are becoming more and more limited. ‘how many bullets you have left?’ rick asks, checking his own. a measly two in the chamber, none in his pockets.

⠀⠀‘we're gonna get out of here and get that checked out’ rick eyes up the empty corridor, ‘you gotta be with me, ben. ready?’

@saintsheriff. RICK.

❝ look, i'm fine. just a little hit on the head. but we need to leave. before something else happens. ❞ ben pointed out, dark hues flickering around almost panicky before he turned his attention toward where the other male was.

#queued stuff and thangs. #♰ ╱ 𝘚𝘈𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘚𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘐𝘍𝘍⠀:⠀ interactions. #saintsheriff & shiitbird. #<3

[saintsheriff]

Me? Me? You– You mean– you mean me? THE WALKING DEAD, 5.15

#♰ ╱ 𝘚𝘈𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘚𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘐𝘍𝘍⠀:⠀ visage.

[saintsheriff]

good afternoon from rick and shane riding around in their cop car, eating fries and bitching about women and light switches.

#♰ ╱ 𝘚𝘈𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘚𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘐𝘍𝘍⠀:⠀ out of character. #this is mentally where i am rn