sabrinakay90

[sabrinakay90]

Grandmama and auntie and nem dressing you up and bringing you to church as a child does not secure your soul as an adult. You need to make a decision NOW. Choose yea this day who you are going to serve. Everything the bible said would happen in the last days are happening NOW! Wearing and tatting that ankh on your skin does not make you WOKE if you don't know what it means.Being in a backwards cult that reads the same bible as a Christian but TWISTS the scriptures in order to disparage the white race and indoctrinate the black race when we 👦🏿👦🏾👦🏽 are already superior by blood. IT'S INHUMANE and SICK‼️ The evidence is evidential. The government knows! They know the locations of where our family were sold all the way back to the tribes we were in melanated people! 🩸🩸....I have already read 5 reports where men have murdered there entire household or vice versa, ...the woman lost her mind. The winters are going summer and the summers go winter back and forth. WAKE UP‼️‼️‼️ LOOK AROUND YOU!! Auset, ausar and heru WILL NOT SAVE YOU WHEN THE 7 TRUMPETS BLOW & THE MOON TURNS INTO BLOOD‼️‼️ NOBODY CAN SAVE YOU ONCE THOSE 7 SOUNDS GO OFF. Y'all really think "church girl" by Beyonce is cute , ITS BLASPHEMY!!! I have never shook my ass like a thotty let alone dressed like one!! GET IT TOGETHER OR GET LEFT! #MakeUpYourMind

[sabrinakay90]

one of the those who disregard, ignore and block (if I have to) all exes once I'm in a relationship but leaving and saying you'll return at a different time is not socially mature... Inconsistency, Breadcrumbing and gas lighting are one of my biggest triggers from years of emotional abuse. Take that narcissistic character shit elsewhere..no. Ive been degreed, married and divorced. I got my own place and car. That's high school shit to have intentions to break up just to do you and return to me. The hell you asked me for commitment and wasted 8 months of my life for !?

[sabrinakay90]

To say, "I don't need a man" would be a lie. I find myself to be a lot tired (lately) health is not always the best, hot flashes, always busy but receptive to good conversation and open to others thoughts. I do need a "help -mate" who can reciprocate energy and genuinely enjoys my energy (I think I'm cool).

-A 32 1/2 year old single divorced Mom

[sabrinakay90]

Need a job? Go to alorica.com/careers & say, "Sabrina Smith badge 6021933" sent you! 😉

[sabrinakay90]

I Love people.. I love to help people..i love to feed people..I love to PRAY for people genuinely!! Compassionately !! And it saddens me to know people hate me for no reason…It took me 3 decades to realize that folk will use their intimidation of you as a ways to justify their hate for you.. ain’t that weird?? Like… I’ll post pictures of me right?? Cause I’m proud of my make up and some folk will see it as “she trynna compete “ or “she trynna floss”! No indeed! I just love me💄! And it took a painful marriage with low self esteem, a prejudice grad school, facing my past ptsd, post partum, losing mama , an eviction notice, divorce, grandma & I becoming friends and me burying her this past December to GET HERE. Many of y’all like myself grind💰, pray🙏🏽, you handle business to take care of yourself & kid(s) like me… pull a job.. meditate..sip a drank & smoke one .. whole time.. you got somebody hating you (& if you're an empath like me)..it kinda upsets you. I hate to tell you ...but we're the problem! you don't have to do anything to be the problem. When you’re a God fearing humble loving person … you're a threat. you gon get crucified💁🏽‍♀️... you'll SHAKE the spirits of others by your confidence ....be despised all because of your power....

[sabrinakay90]

I'm in my feelings about a lot of things..outside of covid19 ripping through a part of my family and taking one of us.... y'all know i miss my old Facebook that the Nigerian dude hacked right? Okay.. I had a friend on the phone say,"girl!! It's no big deal.. social media isn't that big".. then I brought up some moments how I was able to help her by ways of Facebook because she didn't have my number.. my photos and videos of my deceased mother are on my old Facebook as well as other loved ones who are long gone... Yes.. I feel some type of way ....and had I known my memories would be taken like that? I probably would've bought more storage with Dropbox and saved all my stuff in there... It's a lot of memories and information I had that I am now blocked from and it makes me sad... I've reported... You have (thank you to the many of you who have) ... And as usual, Facebook support did nothing. I proved my identity when they asked for my license and everything.. twice.. it's bad enough a friend who I lended my laptop to lost it and there were videos of my mother and I singing duets for programs.. GONE! My memories are gone. I'm trynna get out of this sad trance. Got damn social media...I could've retrieved Mama's videos and pictures from Snapchat but when Dwayne asked me for divorce , he dropped my phone line (as the account holder) once I moved to Texas and when I bought a new phone, he wouldn't relieve my old phone number.. so you know how Snapchat works right?? The account has to be under that same phone number...(doesn't matter if it's the same Gmail) ....mannnn ... Of the lord could just..... Help me understand... Why I always feel played on by people. Even a stranger way in Nigeria!!! Dude I caught feelings for... Lied about being home by telling me he was in Houston and instead was on a date .. tried to commit suicide because she triggered his PTSD.. here I am!! 🦸🏽CAPTAIIIINNN SAVE A HOOOOO💨💨💨 took all day with him cause hospitals were telling me he wasnt registered.. finally found him.. picked my son up late.... (Thank God it was by aunt Dollie) and made it home finally .. before him.. I was played by a nigga named Marvin who I had deep feelings for.. my thumbs so damn tired from typing.. I don't even wanna talk bout his uglass. Fucking heartbreaker.... Anywhom.. this is my vent of them month..

[sabrinakay90]

Yesterday’s Fruit, Tomorrow’s Wine

One thing I’m certain of is that God loves me. I’ve been through too much in my life and seen how the Father has taken care of me to say that He doesn’t have His hand on me. I can hardly speak about how I’ve seen God move in my life without becoming overwhelmed. I realize that some people don’t feel that way about God. They look at their lives and can see only negativity that forces them to ask, “If God loves me, why does life keep hurting me? Why do I keep losing everything that’s valuable?”

Really? Is what you lost that valuable?

In this season, in this stage of your life, the fruit you’ve held on to has been culled, and you’re desperately trying to stop the bleeding. On the outside, your blessings have been taken from you, and the exterior pangs you feel are accompanied by the inward agony for what you cannot reclaim. But the Master has not placed value where we have. Whereas we long for what has been taken, the Master is overjoyed with what remains. Could it be that the Lord hides next season’s harvest in what we have left?

Your miracle is never in what you lost – it’s in what you have left!

If you’re down to a handful of meal, that’s all you need. If you’re down to two fish and five loaves of bread, that’s all you need! Like the widow in the Old Testament, you can be down to one last jar of oil, but the Lord has created more capacity for you to pour out, improve upon, and increase what you have left. Start looking at what remains and cease grieving over what you lost. After all, if you needed what the Master took from you, do you really believe the Lord would have sought to take it?

For where God is taking you, you don’t need the weight and refuse of yesterday’s bread. The Master has an expected end for your life, and the trip doesn’t require the extra baggage of last season’s blessings. If the Lord, in all His wisdom, took from you what would weigh you down during the next leg of your journey, why would you seek ways to regain it? In pruning you, the Lord is assisting you in circumspectly and precisely tailoring your life down to carry only what you need to get out where He wants you to go, because He knows that the blessing of last season’s harvest can become a trap and graveyard for your future.

Are you willing to leave behind yesterday’s fruit so that you can embrace the wine of tomorrow’s new season?

I’m writing to those of you who find yourselves awestruck by the damage left behind by a Master who dared to cut you. Though it appears that everything you built has been taken from you, the Lord has strategically left a remnant that will give rise to more fruit next season. It’s the remnant that is most valuable to the Vinedresser, for there is life in what remains.

[sabrinakay90]

Helen, the mother of the emperor Constantine during the fourth century, allegedly went on a quest to find the actual cross upon which Jesus had died. She searched the known world until she found what she believed to be the antique wooden artifact, which had started to splinter and crack. But what to do with it? How could she spread the gospel once she found what she had been looking for?

Helen took carious slivers and splinters of the wood and sent them to believers and churches around the world. With these wooden fragments, people from every corner began venerating the cross and contemplating its reality. Seeing part of the actual cross caused people to pray and worship. Gradually, the cross began to represent something sacred, sacrificial, and sacramental.

Prior to Helen’s quest and distribution, the cross only marked a place of agony. But as its presence spread thanks to Helen, the cross became an emblem of Christ’s crushing and the new wine produced when He emerged from the tomb. The cross went from an artifact of atrocity to an icon of adoration.

Helen’s actions as much as anyone’s caused the good news to be spread and accepted all over the world. Isn’t it ironic that God used a woman to transform how we see the cross just as He used women to carry the message of Christ’s resurrection back to the men? Yet, we still debate where and when and how God can use women to minister. How striking that if not for women, the story would not have broken in the first place. Women at that time lived in such a misogynistic society that I can’t help but think they related to Jesus because of His own crushing. There is a fellowship among those who know the pain of suffering.

Yes, we all have our crosses to bear. Whether we want to or not, all of us must pick up some kind of cross and follow Jesus into suffering. A failed marriage, a special needs child, a debilitating injury, a chronic illness, unbearable debt. We all go through crushing, but we must never forget crushing is not the end. We go from the vineyard to the vat to the victory.

[sabrinakay90]

waiting was far more beneficial because the Lord was working on something marvelous in a secret place. He was working on my character. He was working on my heart. He was working on my nervousness. He was working on my motives. He was working on my wisdom. He was working on me, boiling off every single impurity because there was no way God was going to present to the world an unrefined, unfermented underdeveloped product.

When it comes to winemaking, the fermentation stage is nothing more than a waiting area for the grapes. They have already been crushed, and now the grapes find themselves in an aspect of the process where there is no pain, so to speak. It’s in that transitory moment of waiting that God is preparing you for the next step. Destruction comes swiftly on the heels of moving too soon. After crushing us, God exercises His grace by allowing us to ferment in the supposed stillness of transition so that we might be ready for the next stage.

[sabrinakay90]

Miserable Meditations

I waste valuable time and energy any time I think I can go about it and not pray about it... Like I know better than God – even when I can’t make sense of the circumstances in which I feel buried. Especially when I cannot see anything except darkness and can only smell the stench of decay. During such moments, I must trust that something is growing. Something is being birthed in the invisible realities I likely cannot see.

An unplanted seed is nothing more than constrained potential. I love the thought of being gifted and having the ability to do something great, but i don’t smile so brightly when placed in the refining processes of life. But aren’t these two intimately connected? How can we have one without the other? I cannot rightfully ask the Master Husbandman to skip out on the development of our lives simply because I am uncomfortable with being alone in dark places.

The presence of pain in my life isn’t a prophecy of my destruction. Rather, my troubles are a sign that God is preparing me for my arrival at a bright and cheerful ascent. I am in the process of sprouting new life. Breaking through the filthy soil of where I was once placed in life, I sprout and rise to continue seeing another world of possibilities. But I understand the difficulty in simply trusting Him. When burdened by distresses and overwhelmed by the urgent demands of life, I sometimes forget that my Vinedresser truly has my best interests at heart.

[sabrinakay90]

Like Most people, I love the thought of being gifted and having the ability to do something great, but I don’t smile so brightly when placed in the refining processes of life.... But what happens to a seed if it’s not planted?

I cannot rightfully ask my Vinedresser to skip out on the development of my life simply because I am uncomfortable with being alone in dark places. To keep a seed from being planted is to condemn that seed to never realize its full potential. It is a fact that seeds are meant to be covered to die.

No matter who I am , where I am in life, or where I came from, I must begin to appreciate the ugly stages of my inception. When I allow the Lord to shift my mindset, I begin to see that everything that has ever happened to me has happened for a reason. If I look back at the sprout that pushed itself through the ceiling of dirt above it, I discover reasons behind my adversity that were preciously invisible and imaginable but now are suddenly apparent and miraculous now that I arrive at a fruit-bearing stage.

Looking back, I examine previous periods of my life and remember how fearful I was in the midst of some of them. Now standing upon just over thirty years of life, I look at those places and realize they were integral to where God has taken me and where He will continue to take me. I see that each growth interval of my life where, at the time, I was certain I was about to meet my end, were seed stages for the next season. I could not have produced the fruit without the frustration. God could not ferment my fruit without the frustration. God could not ferment my fruit into His wine for maximum potency without my willingness to relinquish it to His winepress.

[sabrinakay90]

Taste & See: the intimacy of my testimony

Relationships take time, energy, and sacrifice. In the process, sometimes the love grows stale. When I say, I'm at "my Last”, I'm not saying I've given up on love but that the wanting joy of my early relationship with Christ has returned to it's speed of growth and deepening.

I pray the passion to never lack.

Yesterday, when I read Song of Songs, the language was so fragrant — wine, oil, precious metals, clusters of henna blossoms, beautiful vistas, passionate love. All of these physical images attest to the incarnational and intimate reality of life with Christ as our husband. God created us as sensory beings. We’re not just meant to hear the Gospel; we’re meant to taste and experience it.

Jesus promised us an abundant life with him. But when there is too much distance for too long, sometimes it’s harder to connect.

Distance in my relationship with Jesus will come at some point—that’s just reality. But looking at the Shulamite’s actions, we see how a lover treats distance. When whoever I'm feeling is not with me, I search for him relentlessly.

I need Jesus in my life.

Sometimes I play but

I cannot miss out on my savior.

He is my blessing,

With him by my side- that’s some flexing.

Oh yeah, we been through some messes,

taught me some lessons.

Sometimes I need that correction,

worth more to me than possessions.

[sabrinakay90]

When we think of music and lyrics in the Bible, we usually think of the Psalms, but David wasn’t the only one composing songs to the Lord. The songs of Miriam (Exodus 15:20-21), Deborah (Judges 5:1-30) , Hannah (1 Samuel 2:1-10), and Mary, the mother of Jesus (Luke 1:46-55), are also recorded in Scripture. Each of these women created music that praised God’s miracles in their lives, testified to His faithful love, and prophesied of His eternal reign.

Wande titled her EP “The Decision'' because when we become believers each of us faces a choice—choose God or choose something else. But even after we became believers, we realize that the choice never goes away. The decision to follow Jesus doesn’t take place in a moment; it unfolds over a lifetime.

[sabrinakay90]

You Don’t Have to Live This Way!

If our toddler is throwing a fit in the grocery store, we correct him, redirect him—yet we have allowed our minds to have outright meltdowns with zero correction. We walk around acting as if we have no power over what we think about.

Paul tells us that when we take captive our thoughts, we can wield our power for good and for God, slaying strongholds left and right. What incredible power is available to us every moment of every day!

In Romans 8:5, Paul said that “those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh” and that “those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit” (ESV).

I have read and reread this passage in the past few months, mulling over how life would be if I could truly have a mind that dwells on the Spirit. A mind that is full of life and peace. A mind that consistently thinks about God—who He is and what He wants for me. I so desperately want the “perfect peace” God promises when my mind is fixed on Him.

As I’ve been practicing taking every thought captive, shifting my thoughts has become more disciplined. This is a daily battle! I may not be doing it perfectly, but I have seen significant improvement.

Based on Paul’s writings long ago to the church in Rome, you and I can learn to mind our minds to the point that controlling our thoughts becomes reflexive—an automatic, intuitive response.

I want to be so well versed in the patterns of thinking in line with the Spirit that my default is not to rely on the flesh but on the Spirit in everything. This is the goal of our deliberate interruptions: we abruptly stop the crazy spirals of our minds. As we practice the art of interruption, we’re shifting to a whole new mindset, and with each shift we will find ourselves growing more and more into the mind of Christ.

Father, I set my mind on the things of the Spirit. I set my mind on your peace. I pray to grow more and more into the mind of Christ! Amen.

[sabrinakay90]

Thinking About Thinking

Learning to capture our thoughts matters. Because how we think shapes how we live.

Lies such as I’m helpless, I’m worthless, I’m unlovable, shape our thinking, our emotions, and the way we respond to the world around us. They trap us in their cycle of distraction and distortion and pain, preventing us from recognizing the truth we should believe. Most detrimentally, they change how we view God. Every lie we buy into about ourselves is rooted in what we believe about God.

Let’s say I tend to feel worthless and invisible. And let’s say I read Ephesians 1 and learn that God because He deeply loves me, chooses me and adopts me. Even if I don’t overtly deny the validity of that premise, I still doubt it is true for me. I nod at the truth, but I never fully absorb it and let it shape my identity.

Then let’s say I am married to a spouse who is typically distracted with work. I don’t feel seen in our marriage, which confirms my deep-seated fear that I am indeed worthless and invisible. So even in the most inconsequential of arguments with my husband, I feel anxious and start to spin every time he’s short with me.

I can’t see all that he has on his shoulders, I can’t empathize with his stresses, and my needs exceed his ability to ever meet them.

Before long we are fighting constantly, and we don’t even know why. My husband now has become the enemy in my mind and can’t ever seem to say what I need to hear or be whom I need him to be.

And the spiral of my thoughts has now invaded my relationships and robbed me of joy and peace.

Until I throw off the lie that God’s love isn’t for me, my emotions, decisions, behaviors, and relationships will remain twisted up in the mistaken belief that I’m worthless.

When we begin to think about our thoughts, perhaps for the first time, we can stop the downward spiral. We can reset and redirect them. That’s our hope. Not that we would wrestle each and every fear, but that we would allow God to take up so much space in our thinking that our fears will shrink in comparison.

Lord, I want You and Your truths to reign in my mind! Amen.

[sabrinakay90]

One Thing

It’s incredible, if you think about it: How can something we can’t see control so much of who we are, determine what we feel and what we do and what we say or don’t, dictate how we move or sleep, and inform what we want, what we hate, and what we love?

Capturing all our thoughts may seem an impossible task, especially when we consider our potential number of thoughts per minute. Researchers tell us that we have over 30,000 thoughts a day. That means we might think about thirty-one thoughts per waking minute. But what if one thought held the power to interrupt our spirals and bring peace to our mental chaos?

The apostle Paul’s own life was a picture of interruption. After the scales fell from his eyes, his mind centered on an entirely new reality. There was no other hope, no other narrative, no other track playing in the background. He stopped the things that had distracted him and let himself focus on one simple thing: “To me to live is Christ,” Paul wrote in Philippians 1:21, “and to die is gain” (ESV). It’s all—always—about Christ.

Paul experienced a massive shift, and now he was a totally different man. No longer was he a slave to his circumstances or his emotions. Paul now chose to live aware of the power of Christ in him, through him, and for him. Paul now had the power of the Spirit—the same power that raised Jesus from the dead, and he chose to live aware of and under that power.

God built a way for us to escape the downward spiral of our toxic thoughts. But we rarely take it. We have bought the lie that we are victims of our thoughts rather than warriors equipped to fight on the front lines of the greatest battle of our generation: the battle for our minds.

God, You equip me for this battle against the lies I believe about who I am and who You are. Help me never to feel a victim to my thoughts, because You are already victorious! Amen.

[sabrinakay90]

Every Thought Captive—Really?

We once thought of the mind as an immutable thing. The brain you were born with and the way it worked—or didn’t—were just “how it was”; no sense fretting over what can’t be changed. We now know that the brain is constantly changing, whether or not we intend for it to.

With this in mind—and in hopes of discovering how we can break free from our spiraling thought patterns—I started studying the brain. I began to see a pattern at work in many of us. Our emotions were leading us to thoughts, and those thoughts were dictating our decisions, and our decisions were determining behaviors, and then the behaviors were shaping our relationships, all of which would take us back to either healthy or unhealthy thoughts.

Round and round and round we go, spinning down, seemingly out of control, our lives becoming defined by this endless cycle.

Depressing.

Unless. Unless there is a way to interrupt it.

What if, instead of spending our energy trying to fix the symptoms, we went to the root of the problem? The reality is that our emotions are a byproduct of the way we think. What’s good about this news is that we can change our thinking.

The apostle Paul understood the war that takes place in our thoughts, how our circumstances and imaginations can become weapons that undermine our faith and hope. The Bible records his bold declaration that we are to “take every thought captive to obey Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5, ESV).

Take every thought captive? Is this even possible? Because honestly, my thoughts run wild a lot of the time. But my deep dive into the inner workings of the brain confirmed what the Bible says: we can take every thought captive. Not only can our thoughts be changed, but we can be the ones to change them.

God, help me break the cycle of my out-of-control thoughts. I want Your truths to invade every decision, every emotion, every thought I have. Amen.