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catgirl martial arts: a frenetic, acrobatic offensive that's too tiring for anything but lightning-fast clashes; stylists inevitably have to scamper off and have a little nap afterward, or even in the middle of a fight. employs claw strikes, leaping attacks, and luck magic.

foxgirl martial arts: this one's all about feints, misleading footwork, tail movements, and having laid traps all over the battlefield a week before, as part of a tax evasion scheme. unfortunately, foxgirl hubris is more liability than asset in the wuxia genre.

doggirl martial arts: we make a lot of jokes about doggirls here but this one is actually incredibly deadly. spiritual pressure is generated the wagging the tail and then they ram head-first into you right at groin level. extremely painful.

birdgirl martial arts: they fly above you and drop things. no one has a counter so all of the other animalgirls just decided to stop inviting the birdgirls to their tournament arcs. but...how do you keep girls who can fly away?

scarecrowgirl martial arts: with scarecrowgirls, obviously. there's a lot of techniques for yelling at birds that don't have a lot of crossover utility, but the thing where they blow on a dandelion and knock every birdgirl in a flock out of the sky is pretty cool.

snakegirl martial arts: you'd think it would just be 蛇拳, or something about constructing, or like in five deadly venoms, but for some reason snakegirls are all about dual wielding maces. if they've got a long enough tail, they can build up some nasty centripetal force.

sharkgirl martial arts: there's not a whole lot you can do to improve on the basic sharkgirl bite attack deadliness-wise, so this is mostly just about figuring out less awkward techniques for getting up close to people and making jawing motions at them. it's what makes sharkgirls so smooth!

knightgirl martial arts: greatswords, broadswords, short swords, glaives, guisarmes, glance-guisarmes, and other weapons from back in D&D times. heavy armor techniques have largely been abandoned since cowboygirls first came on the scene; today's knightgirls are strictly chainmail.

megatheriagirl martial arts: spiritual energy is cultivated and conserved over the course of a lifetime of inaction, and unleashed in a single devastating strike. Once they use it, it's going to take a while before they can build up for another one, but the megatheriagirls are twelve feet tall. they'll manage!

squidgirl martial arts: eight arms. two tentacles. ten revolvers. six chambers per revolver. one bullet per chamber. a whole bunch of math and also several ink tricks, like the "calligraphy fist" (leaves a mean note on someone's face).

slimegirl martial arts: i'm not telling you about these unless y'all promise not to be horny about them

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Doctor: $140,000 a year

Furry artist on Patreon: $160,000 a year

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Horny subs after they say they'll do anything for you and you ask them to do the dishes

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¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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>at feminism conference

>first male speaker in event's 50 year history

>great and terrible honor

>nervous

>get on stage

>40,000 people staring at me in silence

>all girls

>nervous

>introduce myself

>silence

>shakily bring up first slide of PowerPoint

>"things that I think women like, based on listening to women for 30 years"

>silence

>could hear a pin drop

>somewhere in the crowd a gun is cocked

>deep breath

>next slide

>"Whip-Its"

>deafening silence

>oh god

>I'm done for

>it's so over

>suddenly

>a slow clap

>slow clap builds to a few dozen claps

>few dozen builds to hundreds

>thunderous applause from all 40,000 women

>"finally!" they say

>oh shit

>tenative confidence

>next slide

>"Video games"

>applause continues

>women are stomping their feet

>hooting

>hollering

>next slide

>"treats sometimes"

>cheering

>whistles

>crowd of women chanting

>next slide

>"end of presentation. thank you for listening"

>women applaud me off stage

>pass the upcoming presenter back stage

>is a woman who is going to do magic tricks with a lion

>"thanks for getting them warmed up rookie"

>oh fuck do women like magic tricks

>magician goes on stage

>the women fucking love the magic tricks with a lion

>every day I learn more about women

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"nothing is real atoms never touch each other youve never touched anything in your life" ok. well when i pet my dog he is soft and when he licks my hand it is wet and that is far more real to me than whatevers going on at an atomic level

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soon may the wellerman come, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

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I was afraid they'd find out I'm Not A Boy [I'm transfem]

you ever feel like you were born with something rotten inside you and if people get close enough they’re gonna find out

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the best part is this is just as he's re-writing one of the titular Seven Psychopaths to give meaning and artifice to a cluster-chuckle movie.

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Source

Begging everyone to stop asking this rhetorical question and, instead, demand our elected officials do something about it

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Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

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What if someone created an AI that was educated purely from everything on Tumblr?

.

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Drew a soft day out of the Sailor Scouts for The Found Family Zine. The zine is still up for preorder till November 27th here! All the proceeds are being donated to the Asylum Seeker Advocacy Project so please check it out if you can! ♥ 

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You CAN do deep squats, my friend!