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→ bb house roommates. bedmate: amber. roommates: ross, matty, lana, fergal, yasmine, storm.

#+ 150.

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nvm catch me sleeping on the floor for 2 weeks

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→  camille’s pre big brother interview.

age:

“twenty-eight.”

hometown:

“berlin.”

current city:

“los angeles.”

occupation:

“model, television and fitness personality.”

3 adjectives that describe you:

“persistent, unforgiving, witty.”

favorite activities:

“anything on the beach.”

what do you think will be the most difficult part about living inside the big brother house?

“being away from home -- the dogs, the... baby.”

what do you think will be the most fun part?

“winning competitions.”

who are you looking forward to seeing?

“lauren and madison.”

who are you not looking forward to seeing?

“dave and devin.”

inside the house, you won’t be able to have common luxuries. music, movie, games, etc. how will you pass the time?

“probably work out all day.”

what are you taking into the house and why?

“myself and some good runners to win competitions in.”

what do you think fans will learn about you after being able to survey you for 24 hours, 7 days a week?

“i don’t know, maybe that i’m not as bad as some people like to paint me out to be. maybe that i’m worse, we’ll see how it goes.”

my life’s motto is…

“adapt and overcome.”

#+ 200.

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#→ social. #+ 70.

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#→ social. #+ 100.

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#→ social. #+ 50.

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everyone acting like i just willingly abandoned my child in italy as if leaving her to be raised by someone else wasn't the hardest thing i've ever fucking done and i haven't spent every fucking day since then wondering how i could get things sorted and have her with me 🙄

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→ fans.

→ tuesday, june 27th, 2017.

1 photoshoot + 120

3 snapchats + 150

1 selfpara + 250

12 headcanons + 1260

1 tweet + 50

benefit gala outfit posted + 300

drawing major attention to herself at an event + 250 ( on the benefit gala red carpet ) 

1 new plot determined + 100 

1 exes plot + 100 ( with matthew ) 

parenthood to 1 child + 200

total fans earned: 2,760

lying to someone - 225

total fans lost: 225

21,796 total fans. 105 stars. currently on the A list.

#→ updates.

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#→ social. #+ 100.

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tuesday, june 27th, 2017. → a voicemail left for camille’s father figure @ 1:45 am.

camille was sitting on her bathroom floor in an oversized t-shirt, her tanned legs folded underneath her body while the shower ran though she had no intention of getting into it. she just wanted to listen to the water run as a distraction from her thoughts. she dialled a familiar number rather than just finding the name she was looking for in her contacts. she knew he probably wouldn’t answer. he might be awake at this hour but only if he was doing business, in which case he knew camille would have texted him to tell him it was an emergency before calling to ensure he answered, which she didn’t. 

“you’ve reached marcello arrington’s personal phone which i’m currently away from, if you leave your name and number i’ll call you back at my earliest convenience,” a familiar, thick accent recited.” 

“hi daddy...” camille started, her eyes welling up with tears, she hadn’t planned this through, and that was a bad thing -- the man could sense weakness even through the phone, and she knew she needed to sound firm and sure. “i need to get hemera back. i need to bring her to america and have her live with me. she can live in my new house and hopefully nobody will find me there. i know you have enough men to protect us. if you need to send half of your army to live on my block, then that’s what you need to do. i don’t care if that’s inconvenient or irrational -- i need you to help me get her and i need you to keep us safe. when i met you ten years ago, i had no idea what my life would turn into, and you’ve given me so much, you’ve done so much for me, but in return i’ve spent the past ten years doing everything you asked me to. you asked me to go to los angeles and work at that strip club and get you information on them. on him, and i know you wouldn’t have ever done that if you knew what it would end up with him doing all of these things to me, but either way, you asked something of me, i did it, and it ruined my life. i’ve done everything you’ve asked me to for a decade, and now i’m asking you for something. i know how important family is to you -- i’m not even your blood and you’ve taken care of me and treated me like gold because i was a part of your family. i need you to fix the family that i made now. i’m going to do this with or without you, i’ll give you a few days to think about it. i love you, bye.” 

camille hung up the phone, leaning over to shut off the running shower and then laid down on the cold marble floor, curling up on her side with her knees pulled up to her chest and closing her eyes, listening to the faucet drip as she cried softly. 

#+ 250. #i'm counting this as a self para because i can

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matthew hates me but the catch is nobody could ever hate me as much as i hate me

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i don't wanna think about this, it hurts, everything fucking hurts.

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don't know if he thinks this means yeah i wasn't or yeah i was but either way i'm not gonna clear it up and tell him that i was. 😬

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→  headcanons.

→ camille’s backstory: the pregnancy, a stalker, and fleeing the country.

camille hadn’t been feeling good for a couple of weeks, but she refused to wonder if she was pregnant. that was the last thing she wanted or needed right now. just six months prior she had been working at a strip club that her dad had asked her to get a job at so she could get information on the owner of the club and his drug business, and since she had quit that job and tried to get away from the owner of the club, her life had been thrown into chaos. 

the biggest reason she had worked at the club for so long was because the owner was in love and obsessed with her. when the man find out she was hanging out with other men, he freaked out and hurt her, sometimes even going as far as to somehow get into her apartment and trap her there while he yelled and screamed at her. she was terrified of what he’d do if she quit working at the club, but eventually her relationship with a man named matthew had gotten more serious and she wanted to make it work so badly that she did the one thing that scared her the most -- which was leaving the club and the man who had a hold on her for so long. 

once she left the club, the man lost it. she hadn’t shown up for a shift one night and once he realized he wasn’t coming, he immediately jumped to the conclusion that she was trying to escape the club, him, and his gang, and started harassing her. the texts and voicemails started off pretty mild, but after a few days they became a bit scarier: “you better not be leaving me,” “i’ll fucking kill you, camille.” “when i find out where you are and who you’re with, you’re all dead.” 

for the next six months, camille did her best to hide from him, but there was a few instances where he found her, once he even somehow got into her apartment and cornered her there, hitting her a few times while he told her that if she didn’t come back to the club he’d kill her. each time he found her, the next day camille would fly to whichever of the two cities she frequented that matthew wasn’t currently in for “a job”, and hid there from her boyfriend until the bruises went away. camille tried her best to avoid getting seen by paparazzi with matthew, hoping that her stalker wouldn’t find out who she was dating and come after him. 

one morning while she was getting her makeup and hair done for a job, she started to feel nauseous and after going to the bathroom and getting sick, camille spent the rest of the day being worried. as soon as the job was done that evening, she hurried to the drug store, bought a pregnancy test and went back to the house that she lived in with lana.

camille sat in the bathroom and took the test, seeing the little lines telling her that she was in fact pregnant. camille burst into tears almost instantly – she was terrified. camille momentarily thought about showing up where matthew was filming for the show he was on, telling him that she was pregnant and making a plan together, but she knew that the only option that wasn’t dangerous for her and her child, and even her boyfriend, was if she disappeared and her stalker had no way of finding out that she was pregnant. she knew that if the man found out she was having a child with somebody else, he’d lose it, and she had spent the past six months in fear that one day he’d end up killing her -- she wasn’t going to spend the next nine worrying that he’d hurt the child. 

camille stayed up all night that night packing, crying, and thinking about the life (and the man) that she had to leave behind. she hated telling lana that she had to move out of the house that she had loved living in with her so much. she hated thinking about matthew realizing she was gone and not knowing why. and even more, she hated knowing that she didn’t have any hope of a future where her and matthew could be happy and safe with this baby. 

at six in the morning, camille was on the next flight from los angeles to new york, where she told the man that she called her father about everything -- the owner of the club, the stalking, harassment, and abuse he had put her through in the past six months, and the pregnancy. the man, desperate to protect camille and his grandchild arranged for her to go and live with some of his relatives in italy. while this man wasn’t her real father, nobody aside from a few people knew that, and all of the relatives in italy thought that she was a distant niece, cousin, etc, that they had never met before and were happy to have her.

when camille got to italy she was about three months pregnant. she was staying with her “dads” sister and the womans two children. camilles dad said that he wanted her to be with someone who knew how to take care of her, and could help her throughout her pregnancy, and that was what the woman did. she cooked for camille, went with her to her doctors appointments, even bought her things for the baby.

throughout the pregnancy, camille started to get incredibly attached to the child, she knew that there was no way she could go back to america with this child and risk putting it at risk, but she ignored the reality that she’d have to leave the child, and lived in a fantasy world where she’d get to keep it with her and raise it. 

camilles father knew that she wanted to come back to america and that her career meant everything to her, so he arranged for one of his relatives, a woman in her late thirties and her husband who had never been able to have children to take the baby, they’d have rights as guardians to the child, and raise it in italy where it would always be safe. camille didn’t argue -- this was the opposite of what she wanted, but she felt defeated. she didn’t know how to take the baby to america and ensure their safety, and she knew she couldn’t stay in italy forever (she wasn’t a citizen and eventually she’d have to leave even if she tried to stay.) she even considered marrying someone in italy in hopes that this would give her a way to stay there, and stay with her child. she considered moving back to where she was born in germany and living there with the baby. but a feeling of hopelessness started to loom over her near the end of her pregnancy, and she didn’t argue with her fathers plan. 

the baby was born, and camille couldn’t bare to spend more than a few hours with her. she knew that she was giving her up, and camille had never imagined that the heartbreak she was feeling could even be possible. as soon as she was released from the hospital, she flew back to america, not wanting to spend any time in italy while the relative and her husband who were going to raise her child as her own got to be happy and whole while she had to give up this piece of her that she wanted to so badly keep. 

#→ headcanons. #abuse tw. #+ 1260.

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wolfie askin all these questions and matthew diggin for answers has me ready to pack up and move to mexico for approximately the rest of my life lmao 

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There are a few certainties in my life that I just can’t seem to shake; that I love mom sweaters, think my name is ridiculous, and will go off on a tangent about how modern meme culture is reminiscent of the Dada art movement any time the opportunity presents itself. Don’t forget those tree gentlemen either!

Honestly, it was a suggested url that reminded me of one of my favorite songs. If you think you know which one I’m talking about… come speculate @ readytobebabashook

Also! My name is Matthew… don’t make me say the ridiculous part though.

#hi stupid :( #😔😔😔😔😔

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#→ social. #+ 50.