ryanseanw

[ryanseanw]

the least realistic thing about star trek is that starfleet uniforms don’t have pockets and nobody complains about it

[ryanseanw]

[ryanseanw]

How the hell was I supposed to know there were transports sentient enough to be mean?

[ryanseanw]

@snakeoilsalesdepartment, I saw you reblog the original one and my brain spit this out. For you:

All that Foggy hears is someone frantically saying, “Kiss me,” before he makes eye contact with an objectively hot guy and kisses him first. The guy backs him up against the nearest tree and they make out for about a minute before the guy backs up.

“We could have stopped that like forty five seconds ago,” the guy says, breathlessly, patting Foggy's arm, “but you're an extremely good kisser, dude. Gentle but firm, somehow. Props for that.”

“Thanks,” Foggy says, laughing. “Are you going to explain what just happened? Did you suddenly get hit with the need to kiss someone and I was the closest person? I'm Foggy, by the way.”

“Shawn Spencer,” Shawn says, “and I'll have you know that I am extremely discerning about the people I kiss to hide myself from the very large men who chase me because they think I cheated at poker games that I actually won because I have a keen sense of observation and, also, natural charm.”

Foggy takes a second to process that sentence.

“Are you implying that you're chased by large men frequently?” he asks.

“I live a wayward life, Foggy,” Shawn says. “I'm a nomad. A vagabond. Frequently unemployed. So, I occasionally sneak into high stakes poker games to keep food in my belly and gel in my hair. The essentials.”

“You seem. . .very interesting,” Foggy says, slowly.

“You have the softest hair I've ever had the honor of touching,” Shawn says, reaching up to tuck Foggy's hair behind his ear which is stupidly charming, “and a truly stunning smile. What do you say we ride this moment out as long as we can? Coffee? Laser tag? Gay sex?”

“Let's. . .start with coffee,” Foggy says, grinning and letting Shawn throw an arm around him as they walk. “See how it goes.”

—

“How did you know I was into guys?” Foggy asks, when they're tucked away in the corner of a small coffee shop.

“Oh, I didn't,” Shawn says. “You just had a kind face that also said ‘strong ally or a Kinsey two and a half,’ so I figured you probably wouldn't punch me, at least. Then you kissed me, y’know, the way that you did, and blushed when I touched your hair. Adorable, by the way.”

Foggy blushes again, shaking his head when Shawn beams at him.

“Adorable,” he repeats. “So, laser tag?”

“Or gay sex,” Foggy says.

“I'd be interested in exploring a hybrid of both,” Shawn says, warmly, “but I'll admit, the second one sounds—oh, shit.”

He grabs a pen from Foggy's messenger bag and scrawls out a phone number on a napkin before giving Foggy a firm kiss, saying, “Please call me,” and jumping over the table to run out of the coffee shop.

Closely followed by multiple very large men.

[ryanseanw]

mountain goats litany for survival: I am gonna make it through this year it it kills me

mountain goats litany for divorce: hand in unlovable hand

mountain goats litany for justice: I’m gonna bribe the officials, I’m gonna kill all the judges

mountain goats litany for revenge: I am personally going to stab you in the eye with a foreign object

mountain goats litany for weird kid pride: wearing my lizard suit to the party

mountain goats litany for meeting word count: the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you and you are standing in the doorway

mountain goats litany against nonsense and also handball: I did not come to play handball

mountain goats litany against anti-intellectualism: I use the term advisedly according to Webster's 9th New Collegiate, definition 4b

amen

[ryanseanw]

[ryanseanw]

Interview With The Vampire – 2.02: Do You Know What It Means to Be Loved by Death

[ryanseanw]

Interview With The Vampire – 2.02: Do You Know What It Means to Be Loved by Death

[ryanseanw]

I can see an episode where buck is misunderstood over something he says and he’s accused of being homophobic and he quickly tries to fix it by saying “oh my god no no no I’m an ally!” and chimney stops dead in his tracks to point out “you’re also dating a man” and buck has a moment of realization, then nods and says “oh yeah! that too.”

[ryanseanw]

John Rogers, co-creator + executive producer: "Look, if we told you Eliot's entire timeline or Nate's entire timeline, you wouldn’t be able to have then have enough flexibility to fold that timeline in with Supernatural in your fanfics because they'd be no space for that. The space we leave is the space for you to write your slash! That's super important for us to do! We do that for you, people! The fans appreciate the empty space we leave so you can write your Buffy, Supernatural, NCIS, Criminal Minds, Leverage crossovers."

Geoffrey Thorne, co-producer + writer of this episode: "But don't do any Doctor Who ones because…"

John: "You're writing those."

Geoffrey: "Just don't do it."

Chris Downey, co-creator + executive producer: "You've staked those out?"

John: "He's staked those out."

— Leverage 10 Podcast: 512 The White Rabbit Job

*Kung Fu Monkey blog: LEVERAGE #205 "The Three Days of the Hunter Job" Post-game (August 24, 2009) for the original "I think fanfic is the sign of a healthy show" short essay

[ryanseanw]

Ok but the whole Kinnporsche is the modern Thai remake of Goncharov (1973) joke inadvertently causing people to think that Kinnporsche isn't a real show is very funny cause like.... if without context you told me about a mafia movie from the 70s produced by Martin Scorsese staring Robert De Niro with lots of homoerotic subtext and catholic imagery then you told me about a softcore gay porn show from Thailand about the mafia that had a complete theatrical release, originally based on a novel where the guy who inspired one of the main characters not only funded the TV show but also played the character who was based on him and then asked a guy he met once modeling 10 years ago to come back to Thailand and play the other main character and includes scenes like: lead character getting absolutely railed in an infinity pool in front of Deutsche Bank, side character + antagonist having bdsm gay sex in a torture dungeon following the emotional death of the antagonist's pet hedgehog, and pop star/secret mafia prince leaving dead bodies of would be assailants without context like a stray cat for his ex boyfriend that he broke up with but is also trying to win back. And then you told me that one of these is real and the other is a collective joke made by tumblr people, I would lose my mind when you told which was which.

[ryanseanw]

. 𝓟𝓪𝓾𝓵 𝓜𝓾𝓪𝓭'𝓭𝓲𝓫 𝓐𝓽𝓻𝓮𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓼 ⋆ 𝓓𝓾𝓴𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓐𝓻𝓻𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓼

...painting illustration study of my favorite feral goth space desert rat Paul Atreides

[ryanseanw]

My favorite headlines from The God Damn News, as featured on engineering disaster podcast Well There’s Your Problem

part one of two

[ryanseanw]

My favorite headlines from The God Damn News, as featured on engineering disaster podcast Well There’s Your Problem 

part two of two

[ryanseanw]

what a beautiful day to not be in high school

[ryanseanw]

[ryanseanw]

"I hate how American media will just make up a European nation rather than do any research, so I'm going to get back at them by writing a story set in a fake American state" like, do you have the slightest idea how much American media is set in a geographically impossible fictional small town located in no particular state and characterised entirely by some guy from Los Angeles' collection of half-remembered stereotypes about the American Midwest? They've already got the "lazily inventing fictional parts of America" bit locked down.

No, if you want to play the Uno reverse card on American media, what you need to do isn't to make up a fake state: you specifically need to wilfully misrepresent southern California.