rvderisms-blog

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Lilith: No it's okay! I haven't been sleeping very well so we can definitely be stay up all night!

Ryder: Maybe you should see a doctor about that, it's not healthy not to sleep

#text.

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tayloriisms:

“maybe.” she shrugged.

“’m sure it’ll work, it works for lots of people. you just gotta try n’ have hope n’ all that stuff.”

#annabelle.

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tayloriisms:

“not really.” she shook her head.

“then maybe that’s somethin’ you should try. it might help.”

#annabelle.

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tayloriisms:

“yeah.” retelling the story just made annabelle feel worse for becoming the person she vowed she would never become. “i guess i could try that first.”

“have you tried that before?” he doesn't really know how he could help besides trying to distract her, so the whole meeting thing may be the best thing.

#annabelle.

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tayloriisms:

“well, he was addicted too, so i had to live in a foster home because my mom wasn’t alive and he needed time to get better on his own, i blamed the whole thing on him since i had no other family members to blame.” she had told the story before and had thought that she had hid it deep down in her mind to save herself the memory, but guess not. “then guess i’ll have to do it on my own again, no matter how long it takes.”

“oh.” she was right, they were pretty similar. "then you must've known how i've felt for all these years." ryder was still a bit bitter about the whole thing, but he also felt the need to forgive. or at least help in some way. "well can't you find some aa meetings or something? they might be able to help you find people. and i-i can help. or try to. just don't leave 'cause i like it here and i don't want things to go wrong again so that i have to leave."

#annabelle.

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tayloriisms:

“i used to be just like you, ry.” she replied. “remember all the stories i told you about your grandpa?” the man that she promised herself she would not become like and failed. “by helping me stay away from anything that could get me addicted again.”

“that doesn’t mean anything.” he didn't know where she was going with this. "not really. i was little." he'd pretty much blocked out everything from his past, only bits and pieces were clear. he frowns, making eye contact for a moment before looking away. "i can't do that all by myself. 'm just a kid."

#annabelle.

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tayloriisms:

“maybe, but i do know that you blame me for all of this.” she was the same when she was younger and her father became what she’s currently trying to get rid of. “no one can make anyone do anything, but you can help.”

“you don’t know that.” she was right, for the a majority. there had to be someone to blame and annabelle seemed the easiest scapegoat. "but how would i even do that?' ryder knew that he shouldn't be getting involved. what if she went back to the way she was before? but there was always the kid in him, the one who desperately wanted a mother and would do anything to get one.

#annabelle.

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tayloriisms:

“i wasn’t stable enough to raise you and your siblings and you know that.” annabelle told him, ever since they had taken them away from her, she has been trying to get better, but always failed. “trying to get better.” and a lot of other things, but it was too early to tell him about the rest.

“you don’t know what i do and don't know." he'd been young when he'd been taken away and his social worker would only give him so much information. ryder had to become inaginative, a little, to create reasons as to what happened. "and how am i supposed to help with that? i can't make you get better."

#annabelle.

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tayloriisms:

“can we please not do this now? i’ve had enough fighting for one day.” she had been fighting with nick almost all day and she really wasn’t in the mood for any more fighting. “i don’t need anything except for forgiveness and maybe some help.”

ryder simply huffs, crossing his arms over his chested as he listened to annabelle. “and i needed my mom for years but yet." it was cold but it was also the truth. his next question he stared at the floor, not making eye contact. "help with what?" 

#annabelle.

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tayloriisms:

“i came back to try and be a better mother, starting now.” she bit her ip, she couldn’t believe that she couldn’t recognize her own son, but then again it had been a few years since she had seen him. “i don’t need any money, i’m trying to be a better person, i swear.”

“you could have done that years ago." he knew he was probably overreacting, but it felt justified. she had been part of the real that he was in this situation. "what, the drugs not enough for you anymore? 'cause i don't really have anything else that you could want."

#annabelle. #drugs tw

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tayloriisms:

“he’s my son.” annabelle told the other, she wasn’t sure if she should be telling them this, but it’s kind of too late to take it back now. 

“so you and, i don't even know what to call him, dad decide to come back at the same time for what?" he throws his hands up, running one through his hair. "i don't have any money if that's what you're looking for."

#annabelle. #n he just expodes

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tayloriisms:

“it sucks how much job requirements have changed over the years.” she replied. it was slowly making the world a dangerous place to live in. “hearts and homes? that’s where they sent my son after many failed foster home attempts. do you know anyone named rydermontgomery?”

"i guess so. i've never had a job so i wouldn't really know." ryder bit his lip at her next question. he honestly had no idea if he should give her the truth or see what is exactly that she wants. "uh. yeah. i know him. why?"

#annabelle.

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tayloriisms:

“wow, they are seriously terrible at their job then.” annabelle had always thought that social workers were saints, but now she was starting to think that all that they have been telling her in the past were lies. “what safe house are you in?”

“some of them are good but some don't really care. it just depends on who you get as yours." he shrugs. it's been that way ever since he could really remember. "uh. the hearts and homes one. everyone is super nice."

#annabelle.

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tayloriisms:

“don’t foster parents have to have a clean record to be foster parents?” annabelle wondered, that’s what they told her the day that they took ryder and the rest of her kids away from her. “they let kids do stuff like that? well, they’re not doing their job right then.”

“that’s what they say but sometimes they don’t do good enough checks. or they just don’t care.” contrary to what he was saying, ryder had some good foster parents where he ruined any possible good life for himself. "i guess. i don't really pay attention to them that much."

#annabelle. #i........honestyl dont know

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tayloriisms:

annabelle wasn’t paying much attention, she was still sort of out it. finding out that ryder’s father was here wasn’t much help, it just made her wanna be even more out of it. “really, like who?”

ryder shrugs at the question. “a lot of my foster parents were high." almost all of them would be a more accurate description. "some of the kids in town do that kinda stuff but i don't. and i'm pretty sure most of the oikos' do too. they like to hang around the safe house sometimes."

#annabelle. #I'M READY

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ryder really hadn’t been paying attention to what was going on around him. his thoughts had been focued on his father and the fight he had with devon, among other things. it was almost too much to handle. once the woman started to speak he shook his head before shrugging. "i dunno. i've seen lots of people high before."

annabelle could feel people staring at her, it had been a while since she’s stepped foot outside of her house, she knew it was a bad idea to break that streak today. she had figured that they had heard the news, but that was impossible because she had torn down every wanted poster of herself over night. “what? never seen me not high before?”

#annabelle. #uh oh

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devcniisms:

“fine.”

“good.”

#devon.