ritsuuu-0206
Ritsuuu
Bingqiu, Ranwan, Avatrice | DO NOT REPOST, REPRODUCE, USE MY WORKS | https://ritsuuu0206.carrd.co/
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The school au fic is up👀👀👀👀 so excited to have the short ideas be written into fics
Kintsugi
Beatrice Williams is near perfect and doing everything possible to satisfy her parents’ expectations. She is the best at school in everything she does and nothing is going to dethrone her now. Not even a very *very* pretty girl.
But irony is one of God’s only pastimes nowadays, and it just so happens that Beatrice, despite staying away from the Sun, still finds herself beneath her rays, trying so hard not to get blinded in all that light yet unable to look away.
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Can I fucking remind you how awesome your art is? Has anyone told u that lately?? Like yes oh my god I die for the angst and hurt and you kill me every time with it, over and over until I'm bleeding on an operating table because it's so much and it's so good. Fighting against all of you to not kill bea AGAIN. XD
But your art is the softest thing I have seen and I love it so much. And I don't think you get enough credit for it because while I bleed out from your angst, I kick out my legs and scream like a teenage girl at your art.
This is illegal, I'm running away
But yes, fluff in the art, angst in the writing cos I can't draw angst and can't write fluff LOL
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I've written immortal ava fic ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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Wtf you’re just so rude! You guys need to stop with this hurt bea agenda cause it’s hurting me too 😭😭😂
Thats the purpose of hurt!Bea agenda🫢 hurt Bea to hurt everyone, no one is safe😬
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"Guess who?"
Beatrice was reading a book when hands covered her eyes from behind. She smiles fondly, knowing that voice anywhere.
"You'll have to do better if that's your plan on scaring me, love."
Ava giggles, her hands moving to wrap around Beatrice's shoulders. She leans in to kiss her cheek playfully, nuzzling her after. "I doubt I could scare you but it's worth a try~"
--
Beatrice stares at the cloth in her hands. "You want me to wrap this around my eyes?" She raises an eyebrow at Ava, who's trying her best to contain her excitement.
"Yes! We have a surprise for you so you have to put it on!"
"You do know that telling me that defeats the purpose of a surprise?" At Beatrice's words, Ava pouts with a frown.
"Well, you haven't seen what it is so you'll be surprised anyways." She huffs. "Hurry put the blindfold on so we can get going!"
Beatrice holds the cloth out to Ava. "Will you help me put it on?" Ava takes the cloth and straddles Beatrice. She tilts her head up and gently places it over her eyes, bringing the ends to the back of her head and tying a knot. Ava finds it hot looking down at Beatrice while she's blindfolded. She leans in to peck her lips quickly, grinning when Beatrice moves to chase her lips when she pulls back.
"Maybe we should use this tonight?" Ava wants to kiss Beatrice again when she nods, a blush on her cheeks as what must undoubtedly be a thought of what could happen tonight enters her mind. She wants to tease her more but they do have a party to attend, so Ava will be patient. "I'll make this the best birthday you ever had." She whispers into Beatrice's ear, relishing how Beatrice shudders.
--
Beatrice doesn't know how long the bag has been over her head. She's tied to a chair, breathing quick and shallow as it hurts to breathe normally. Her captors didn't go easy on her and they probably cracked a rib but no matter how painful the beating was, Beatrice wouldn't give up any information.
It felt like an eternity in the darkness and she couldn't be more happy than to see Ava and her sisters when the bag is removed. The brightness of the room blinded her momentarily but she smiles at the sight of Ava, who cups her cheek with a shaky hand to guide her gaze towards her.
"I'm sorry we took so long. We'll get you home and patched up so stay awake for me, okay?" Ava's voice is cracking, tears brimming in her eyes. It makes Beatrice hurt to see Ava barely holding herself together. She manages a nod as they lift her carefully, bringing her to the van.
--
Beatrice couldn't see. Her eyes are in pain and her head is throbbing. She could feel something tight wrapped around her head. Everything hurts and it's dark and the increasing rate of the heart monitor does nothing to help.
"Ava..?" She manages to whisper through her hyperventilation. She needs to see Ava. She can't remember what happened and she needs to know if Ava is safe, she needs-
"Bea!" She hears Ava's voice, feels Ava grasping her hand. "Beatrice, I need you to breathe. I'm here, listen to my voice."
Beatrice tries to focus on Ava's voice. She breathes in and out with Ava's guide, listening to the beeping becoming steady once again.
"Ava, what happened..? Are you hurt? Is everyone safe?" Beatrice asks once she's calm enough. She feels Ava's hands tighten momentarily.
"I'm fine, all healed by the halo." She chokes out. "Everyone is safe. Injured, but alive." Beatrice hears Ava inhale deeply. "You're not injured badly, but... Your eyes... The doctor said that the cut is deep and you'll never be able to see again... I'm sorry.. if only I was faster, I could have saved you."
She feels droplets on her hand as Ava's voice turns shaky. She processes the words, letting it sink in. She'll never see again. She'll never be able to see Ava or her sisters again. She's now useless in the field, and will never be able to fight alongside Ava.
She chokes on her sobs, the reality of her situation crashing down.
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Beatrice doesn't know where she is. When she wakes, all she sees through her blurred vision is a white ceiling. She hears voices and footsteps approaching her. She groans as the simple movement of turning her head makes her feel nauseous.
She sees three figures as her vision focuses. 2 women dressed in habits and another in casual clothes. The 2 younger ones immediately crowd her and gently take her hands, crying with what seems to be relief.
Beatrice stays quiet as she watches the women around her. There is something familiar about them, but she couldn't remember. She just nods when they ask her simple questions. She doesn't know why her whole body is aching and why she's in a hospital, but she's sure she will get an answer soon.
"We were so worried... You were asleep for a month... We almost lost you, I can't lose you."
Beatrice stares at them, there's a feeling of fondness for the one in casual clothes but she doesn't know what their relationship is.
"I see. I'm sorry, this must be an odd question, but do I know you..?"
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Ava who is immortal, ava who had to watch Beatrice leave her over and over again, a never broken promise of "in the next" whispered between them.
Ava would always find Beatrice, and Beatrice would always remember, welcoming Ava with open arms and words of "I missed you" and "I love you"
Ava tried to die with Beatrice, but fate was cruel. No matter what she put her body through, she would heal. She'd watch Beatrice age while she stayed unchanging, stuck in her 20s appearance.
She'd come to terms with her fate. It doesn't matter if she lives forever, as long as Beatrice remembers her, they'll find each other again. It's funny how Ava knows when to find Beatrice, a thought that had both of them furrowing their brows in question.
Sometimes, it's Beatrice that finds Ava. When she's of age, she would go back to their house by the beach. Smiling fondly when she spots Ava watching the sunset, burrowing her feet under the sand and listening to the waves.
"Someone's impatient." Ava would tease, turning to grin at Beatrice who would chuckle with fond exasperation.
"Well, I can't always be the one waiting for you." She joins Ava, leaning against her. "Besides, waiting 18 years for my love every lifetime is more painful than any punishment."
Ava smiles sadly. "I wish I could break your cycle of suffering. It hurts to know that you're always suffering in your childhood. It's unfair..."
"Life's been unfair to both of us, but if I get to be with you in the end, I wouldn't trade it for anything else."
Ava turns to press a kiss on Beatrice's forehead. "I still wish that I could save you from it."
"And I wish I could save you from yours" Beatrice takes Ava's hand, interlacing their fingers.
They sit until the sun goes down and the air turns cold. Ava takes out Beatrice's ring from her pocket, sliding it onto Bea's ring finger.
"In this life, and the next."
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Every once in a while the hurt!Bea server suffers from a lot of hurt Bea and the amount of super soft comfort. Hurt!Bea = hurt!everyone
The whiplash from relishing in Bea's pain to crying over the comfort she gets from everyone to laughing over something stupid to crying again🤣🤣🤣
#warrior nun#avatrice#hurt!bea agenda#its so damn funny when we're all dying over the hurt and the comfort absolutely ruins us in the best way#the joy of hurting bea is to see the comfort she'll get#put her through pain and give her all the love in the world#she deserves it
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aaaaa
okay, okay, okay
firstly, i absolutely adore your art! they're so cutee!
secondly, i wasnt much of a hurt!bea lover(i didn't hate it but also didnt prefer it much if that makes any sense at all) but the way you and others are writing some of it just hits differently
lastly, i really cant lie, i want/need more of your school avatrice au after reading the one that dealt more with the hurt!bea side(which wasnt that long ago today), ive been craving what happens next
...anyways, i love your work and all the chaos that youve stirred up with the hurt!bea ideas. just wanted to let you know while my rsd doesnt interfere lol. thx for letting me rant in your asks and take care!
Thank youuu (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)
There's just that satisfaction of giving Bea lots of comfort and care after she's been put through whatever pain we throw at her. You see her suffer, you see her stay strong despite it all and only breaks in the safety of her loved ones. It's just really 🥹🥹🥹
And for the school au, it's gonna be turned into a fic~ I'm collabing with someone to get it out and we're gonna go all out on *disclaimer* unrealistic child "discipline" uwu
So much hurt!Bea, comfort and fluffy puppy love/parental love to look forward to in the fic!
Love that the hurt!Bea agenda is slowly spreading :DDDD
#warrior nun#going all out cos its fiction anyways and it adds more drama LMAO#im so soft for the puppy love between ava and bea#and the parental love she finally gets from shannon and mary#bea will have her happy ending#and it will be tooth rotting fluff#while the pain is just stabbing you in the heart over and over and just going wtf LOL
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School AU, cute fluffy puppy love🥹
With Ava being a constant presence in her life, Bea realises that she never wants to leave Ava. Ava is the sun in her gloomy life, chasing away the dark clouds from her mind and only making her focus on the present. When Bea said she likes (interest), Ava would always bring (interest) for her. Ava makes Bea feel seen and is the only one who would listen to her list down every info about (interest) attentively, even going as far as asking questions that will make them think about it.
Soon, Bea realises that she likes Ava. She doesn't question the feeling now, but she starts to feel shy whenever Ava is too close, blushing whenever their hands would so much as brush against each other. It's embarrassing to admit but those brief touches would occupy her mind for the whole day, trying her best not to smile too much as she gently touches her hands. On one hand, her feelings give her so much happiness, thinking about spending time with Ava makes her giddy and she looks forward to it.
On the other hand, she's worried about her parents. She's worried how they would react if they found out she thinks of Ava as more than a best friend. She knows they are concerned about appearances, knows how anything she does could probably affect them. She's afraid of the consequences her feelings might have. And she's worried that Ava might not feel the same way. But dealing with Ava is easier than dealing with her parents.
Ava would introduce her to different types of desserts and Bea will learn that she has a sweet tooth. She would look forward to anything Ava would let her try whenever they're together. Once Ava knew that, she would always bring some candy with her, sharing them with Bea during school.
Ava likes to give Bea flowers. One thing Ava noticed about Bea is that she is interested in having knowledge, things that she herself wants to learn. So whenever she brings her a flower, she would excitedly ask Bea about the flower's meaning. They would go to the library to research the flower, sometimes becoming slightly gloomy when they come across flowers with sad meanings. When Bea spends a little more time on certain flowers, Ava would catalogue it in her mind, determined to find those flowers for her. She noticed that those flowers are mostly about love and looking at Bea's distant expression, she thinks that's the loneliest Bea has ever looked.
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School AU: Beatrice's first few weeks with Shannon and Mary
She's so tired of being the perfect child her parents wanted her to be. But even if she doesn't need to be now, it has become a habit to be perfect. She's quiet and accommodating, only responding when talked to. She does what she's told and never does anything that she thinks would make her new guardians mad.
She observes them, taking in their lifestyles and watching their actions. She wants to be good for them, as long as she's good like she was taught to be she won't be punished. She's tired of punishments and she's determined to be someone that's low maintenance so they won't get tired of her.
She's so concerned about being perfect and good and not being punished that sometimes, whenever there are big movements or whenever Shan or Mary raises their hands, Bea would freeze, fear written on her face as clear as day as she waits for the impact that would never happen.
Her first few sessions with the therapist are going well too, in her mind, telling the therapist that she's fine would mean spending lesser time there and that would mean being less of a burden. She simply recounts every traumatic event like a report. She doesn't talk about the occasional panic attacks and nightmares she would have at her new home, muffling her cries at the phantom pains, though she doesn't know that Shannon and Mary would fill the therapist in on the details she omitted.
One day, they would confront Beatrice about the way she's behaving. That they cannot help her if she keeps running away from her problems, that they don't expect her to be perfect like her parents. Of course, Bea didn't take it too well, her mind instead changing their concern into disappointment. She closes her eyes, thinking that she's made them mad, that they're finally tired of her. She drops to her knees with ease, grasping her hands tightly behind her back - a position her parents liked her to be in before they deliver the punishment. If she dares to block their hits, she would be punished more.
She apologizes and recites their words as the reason for accepting punishment. She shut herself off, prepared to deal with the amount of pain she thinks she would be put through. What she didn't expect though, was for Shannon to drop to her knees as well and pull Bea into a hug, patting her head and talking in a soft voice.
"Oh, honey, no. We don't mean it like that. We are here to help you and we don't want you to suffer. You don't have to suffer alone. You don't have to be perfect for us, you just have to be you. We want to know the true Beatrice. You're safe with us, we won't punish or scold you for anything. You're only human and no matter what, we're here to support you."
Tears well up in Bea's eyes the moment she processed the words. She allows herself to melt in Shan's embrace, timidly grasping onto her shirt. "I won't be punished even if I'm not perfect..?" Her voice is soft, afraid to even ask such a question. It makes Shan's heart break and she shifts so she could pull Bea closer.
"You'll never be punished ever again. You won't have to feel pain anymore."
"... Will I get hugs too..?" That question makes Shan choke on a sob, a wet chuckle escaping as she nods.
"Of course, you'll have all the hugs you want."
So Beatrice does better. Because being hugged after doing her best to confront her traumas makes it all worth it. She is loved, and her life is no longer filled with pain.
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School AU, following @feiquacker 's ending, focusing on Shannon, Mary and Bea ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Shannon and Mary being so loving and so protective of Beatrice. At first, Bea is wary of them, addressing them respectfully and only doing things when she gets permission. It takes a while for Bea to become comfortable enough around them to start becoming herself.
Whenever she spends her time studying in her room - now filled with everything she's interested in, no longer surrounded by white - Shan and Mary would immediately stop her and bring her out to experience things she's never done before. They would bring her everywhere, watching her face brighten at all the sights she's been denied before. They'd make her try every food, laughing at her whenever she grimaced at something she deemed horrible.
Her grades didn't drop despite the lack of studying though, and instead of being plagued with fear whenever exams are coming, she finds herself excited for them, even challenging Ava. It's freeing to just study because she wants to, not because she has to. Besides, even if she wants to, Shan, Mary and Ava would pull her away.
Beatrice feels as though she's been reborn. She's finding new things about herself that she didn't know before. She realized that she loves being hugged and after the first time she sat on the couch being embraced by Shan during movie night, she started to crave it. It took her a while to confidently slide up to Shan or Mary during movie night and wrap her arms around their waist, making herself comfortable. Sometimes she would pout whenever their cat would take her spot, causing both of them to tease her about it.
She's happy now, and she's so grateful to have met Ava. Ava has saved her and given her a new life. Sometimes the change can get overwhelming and she would have a breakdown, grateful that Ava had stopped her from taking her own life. It scared everyone at first but when they realized that it was tears of happiness, they would simply pull her into their arms, telling her how much she is loved
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Some fluff for school AU
Ava lives alone in a small apartment provided by her parents' friend. She regularly invites Beatrice over, saying that they could study there. Though mainly it's so that Ava could distract Bea from studying by making her talk about her interests. And she loves how animated Bea becomes when they're alone.
Ava's place has become some sort of safe haven for Beatrice and she doesn't hesitate to follow whenever Ava invites her. It's also a place where Bea would allow Ava to be more touchy. She knows Ava likes to touch but she doesn't want to be seen by others, for fear that word might spread and reach her parents' ears. So Ava refrains from touching her.
At Ava's place though, Beatrice allows Ava to sit beside her, arms touching as they study. She relishes in the contact because it's the only touch that doesn't bring her pain. She leans into Ava, craving her touch, but only behind the safety of Ava's apartment.
Sometimes Bea would reveal a little of her life when she becomes self-deprecating whenever her excited ramblings of her interest get out of hand. A quiet "sorry, I got carried away" before composing herself. But Ava would stop her, telling her that she loves listening to Bea talk, loves how she's so passionate and doesn't like how she restrains herself around Ava. And whenever Ava hears what little of how Bea was treated - Beatrice would talk about it as if one would talk about the weather - Ava would pull Bea into a tight hug, noticing how Bea would melt in her arms.
Maybe their confessions and first kiss could happen in Ava's apartment. Maybe a lot of teaching Bea fun things happens there. And Ava falls in love with Bea's smile, her delighted "Ava, I did it!" and expectant look of wanting to be praised. The grin Beatrice gives when Ava does praise her makes Ava's heart flutter.
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SOBBING SCREAMING DYING THIS IS SO GOOD THANK YOU FOR WRITING
More on the school au but focusing on hurt!Bea :D
Sometimes Ava spots hidden bruises on Bea whenever she stretches, her long sleeves pulling back slightly. She notices how Bea would flinch occasionally at loud noises, a brief look of fear on her face before she quickly schools it back to normal.
Ava notices how Bea would freeze up whenever they get their class tests back, slightly trembling when she noticed the score is just 1 off from full marks.
Maybe when Ava asks if she could go over to Bea's place, she tenses, looking at Ava as if she grew two heads. "Why would you want to come over?" She would ask, her voice soft and timid. But because Ava is sparkling so brightly, Bea couldn't find herself to reject her, so she asks for permission. Her parents raise an eyebrow at the request but agreed once knowing that Ava is the top student. They are curious to see the person that is preventing Beatrice from taking the top spot.
So when Ava goes over, led by Beatrice, she notices that Bea behaves very differently. She makes herself small in the presence of her parents, doesn't speak unless questions are directed at her and her answers are robotic, merely stating facts. It doesn't matter if the topic makes both of them uncomfortable, Beatrice would answer them dutifully.
And when Bea's parents start the topic of the future, Ava notices how Beatrice has completely shut herself off. It's then she knew that Beatrice wouldn't have her own future. It would be dictated by her parents. She knows that Beatrice loves (insert), how she would become passionate whenever she talks about it and that she'll never get to do it because she has to fulfil her parents' expectations of her. Because they are diplomats, she is expected to be one as well.
Once the day is over and Ava is preparing to leave, she glances over at Beatrice, who's sitting on the bed, her mind far away. Ava is sad and angry for her, such a brilliant person being confined in rules and expectations, like a bird in a cage.
The next day Bea acts as though the visit never happened, unwilling to talk about it even though Ava wants to ask if she's okay.
Maybe there's a period of time when Bea didn't show up for school. So Ava decides to sneak into Bea's place, horrified when she catches a glimpse of Bea, covered in bruises.
Maybe there's one time when Ava manages to stop Bea from throwing herself off a building, holding onto her tightly as she cries herself to exhaustion.
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More on the school au but focusing on hurt!Bea :D
Sometimes Ava spots hidden bruises on Bea whenever she stretches, her long sleeves pulling back slightly. She notices how Bea would flinch occasionally at loud noises, a brief look of fear on her face before she quickly schools it back to normal.
Ava notices how Bea would freeze up whenever they get their class tests back, slightly trembling when she noticed the score is just 1 off from full marks.
Maybe when Ava asks if she could go over to Bea's place, she tenses, looking at Ava as if she grew two heads. "Why would you want to come over?" She would ask, her voice soft and timid. But because Ava is sparkling so brightly, Bea couldn't find herself to reject her, so she asks for permission. Her parents raise an eyebrow at the request but agreed once knowing that Ava is the top student. They are curious to see the person that is preventing Beatrice from taking the top spot.
So when Ava goes over, led by Beatrice, she notices that Bea behaves very differently. She makes herself small in the presence of her parents, doesn't speak unless questions are directed at her and her answers are robotic, merely stating facts. It doesn't matter if the topic makes both of them uncomfortable, Beatrice would answer them dutifully.
And when Bea's parents start the topic of the future, Ava notices how Beatrice has completely shut herself off. It's then she knew that Beatrice wouldn't have her own future. It would be dictated by her parents. She knows that Beatrice loves (insert), how she would become passionate whenever she talks about it and that she'll never get to do it because she has to fulfil her parents' expectations of her. Because they are diplomats, she is expected to be one as well.
Once the day is over and Ava is preparing to leave, she glances over at Beatrice, who's sitting on the bed, her mind far away. Ava is sad and angry for her, such a brilliant person being confined in rules and expectations, like a bird in a cage.
The next day Bea acts as though the visit never happened, unwilling to talk about it even though Ava wants to ask if she's okay.
Maybe there's a period of time when Bea didn't show up for school. So Ava decides to sneak into Bea's place, horrified when she catches a glimpse of Bea, covered in bruises.
Maybe there's one time when Ava manages to stop Bea from throwing herself off a building, holding onto her tightly as she cries herself to exhaustion.
#warrior nun#avatrice#hurt!bea agenda#bea is so tired#she wants to be free#and ava is angry that she is powerless to help her
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School AU where Ava is naturally smart so she doesn't study and gets top scores while Beatrice pours herself into studies and secures second place (because even if she gets full marks she'll be behind ava since alphabetical order lol)
And Bea's parents can't accept that. It doesn't look good that their daughter isn't the top in the school. So she's punished whenever she fails to show her name in the top spot. Bea then grows to hate her situation, to hate Ava. It isn't until she's paired with Ava that her hate slowly disappears.
Because she dedicated so much of her time studying, she doesn't have any friends and when Ava - oblivious to Bea's first hatred - is so friendly with her, she's taken aback. She's entranced by Ava's bubbly personality and amazed by how well and fast she finds solutions to the project's problems. She's serious when need be and her mind is just brilliant. Bea would have never come up with such creative solutions because she's all about going by the books.
Though that didn't stop Ava from sparkling brightly at the fact that Beatrice can remember so much. Beatrice finds herself liking Ava's company and thankfully for her, Ava does too. They hang out more after that and learn more about each other.
When it was nearing the exams however, Beatrice suddenly distanced herself from Ava. She was reminded of what's at stake and because she's been spending time with Ava, having fun for once in her life, she forgot that she has expectations to meet. She frantically throws herself into study, neglecting food and sleep and just in a constant state of panic.
Ava noticed the bags under Beatrice's eyes and how she just looks like she's going to collapse any moment, until she does and Ava immediately brings her to infirmary. When Beatrice wakes, she panics and tries to get out of bed but Ava stops her, a frown on her face as she pushes Beatrice back down. Ava tells that she fainted and she's worried about how she's not taking care of herself but Beatrice dismisses it, saying that she needs to get back to studying.
Ava continues to stop her from doing so until Beatrice snaps. "You don't understand! You will never understand! I'm tired! I'm so tired of being punished even though I try so hard to meet their expectations! Why must it be you?! Why must you stand in my way?! You don't suffer because you're so good at everything without even trying!" She sobs, letting her emotions out after holding onto them for so long. At the moment she doesn't care that she's blaming Ava for her situation, she just needs to get her feelings out.
By the time she's finished, body trembling and breath shaking at every inhale, she realized she had poured out her life story and taken it out on Ava. She doesn't dare to look up at her, clutching the sheets tightly. It was a few agonizing seconds and Beatrice was about to apologize for her outburst when Ava slowly reaches out to place a hand over hers. She tenses at the touch but at the same time she's filled with warmth. She doesn't remember the last time she's been touched so gently and it sends a fresh wave of tears trailing down her cheeks.
"Bea, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you're suffering so much. You're so amazing and it hurts to know that you're not being treated the way you deserve. You're so kind despite the pain you've been through, despite the fact that I'm the one causing it. I want to help you, I don't want to see you in pain. I consider you my best friend and I would do anything to help you."
Beatrice's eyes widen. She's never had someone to call a friend, let alone a best friend. She timidly brings her gaze to Ava's face, seeing so much sincerity and kindness.
"Grades don't really matter to me. I don't have parents so there's no expectation of me. So if it'll make your life easier, I can make a few mistakes and ensure that you'll be at the top. And I'll be right behind you." Ava says with a grin.
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