rhysmademedoit

[rhysmademedoit]

So...

I recently rewatched the 1997 movie Batman and Robin, which was a mistake, but probably not in the way you'd expect. I have a lot of opinions about this movie now. In fact, I have so many opinions that I need to make a tumblr post breaking them down before I go crazy.

Let me say that I went into this movie with an open mind. It's a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, movie, but I do genuinely think it has some interesting points. I'll start with the casting.

George Clooney is legitimately the worst Batman ever put to the silver screen. He's just playing George Clooney. I've seen him do a good job in other movies so I have to assume he read the script and decided to just phone it in.

Chris O'Donnell actually does a much better job as Robin in this movie than he did in Batman Forever. He and Batman feel like an actual team this time, even if Clooney could be carrying his weight more. The actual character O'Donnell plays in this movie is fairly over the top, but I think he does a good job grounding him in the reality of this movie.

Arnold Schwarzenegger actually really fits Mr. Freeze in a weird way. His cold, mechanical delivery evokes the Terminator, proving he still has what it takes to play a villain. The problem is that Mr. Freeze himself is TERRIBLY written. EVERY LINE HE SAYS IS AN ICE PUN!!! He's probably the single worst part of this movie, but I don't blame Arnold for that, he did a good job with what he had.

Uma Thurman is another actor I've seen do a great performance in other movies. For some reason, she decided to play Poison Ivy like she's Rita Repulsa. That might work for Power Rangers, but it feels really out of place here. It's a shame since I think Poison Ivy in this movie had a lot of untapped potential.

Alicia Silverstone is an actress I haven't seen in anything else, so I don't want to judge her too harshly. She's just... not very good in this. Not bad necessarily. I don't know if she wasn't given enough direction or didn't understand her character or what. Batgirl is actually a kind of interesting character who, like most things in this movie, doesn't get fleshed out enough. She does have some sweet moments though. Most of them are helped by the real star of the show...

Michael Gough delivers what has to be the greatest Alfred performance of all time, and definitely HIS greatest Alfred performance. And why shouldn't he? By far, he has the best scenes and the best lines in the entire movie, elevating the entire thing from a cheesy kids film to something that actually has a little maturity. Singlehandedly he becomes the sole reason to rewatch this movie. The "soul" of the movie, if you will.

I guess now it's time to talk about the plot of this movie. I'll be covering it in very broad strokes so I don't end up writing this forever.

From the get-go, two things are VERY apparent: (1.) This movie's visuals, lighting, and set design are awe-inspiring and (2.) A lot of the dialogue is absolutely HORRIBLE. It feels unfinished. Mr. Freeze looks jaw-droppingly epic in his suit with pitch black eyes and a glowing blue mouth, but it's all downplayed by the fact that he never has anything even remotely interesting to say. When Batman is saying lines like "Hey Freeze, I'm Batman" I just picture a little annotation next to it in the script saying *write a cool opening line here.

After an admittedly good fight scene with Mr. Freeze, we're introduced to one of the main conflicts of the movie: Batman doesn't trust Robin. I actually really like that premise. It feels true to the characters while also making for some interesting drama. Hopefully we see that same concept taken on by a better movie one day.

Next up, we're introduced to Pamela Isley, who gets turned into Poison Ivy... somehow. The movie really doesn't make it clear. I think they wanted to do a similar thing to Catwoman with Dr. Woodrew being her Max Shreck, but they plow through it before you even have time to think. Oh, and Bane is here too. I didn't mention him because he's just a strong henchman for Batman and Robin to fight, and honestly might as well just be a giant plant monster. In fact, he kind of is a giant plant monster, since Venom in this movie comes from Poison Ivy's plants. Whatever, on to the next scene.

At stately Wayne Manor, the movie does a really good job setting up that Alfred is getting older. He's a lot slower to respond, gets tired faster, and all around just looks much older here. We're also introduced to Barbara... Wilson?? I actually think making her Alfred's niece instead of Commissioner Gordon's daughter makes a ton of sense for this movie. After all, what better way to flesh out Alfred as a character than showing him interact with family? And as I said before, these moments are genuinely very touching! I love this stuff!

Gotham Observatory, another gorgeous set with a giant statue holding the observatory in the air. Pamela says some really interesting things to Bruce here, and in many ways she's right, the elite should be focused on saving the planet rather than exploring the stars. I think she could've used her hypnotism on this entire room and gotten what she wants immediately, but then the next scene wouldn't happen. Also Bruce Wayne randomly has a girlfriend now? She's only in two more scenes and is really forgettable. I don't see what the point of her is.

This is probably the scene most people think of when they think of this movie. I don't actually have anything to say about it that hasn't already been said, but there were some lines I do genuinely find funny, like when Batman says "You don't have the money," and Robin replies "I'll borrow it from you!" Batman having a credit card is dumb but in a fun way that I can appreciate.

Mr. Freeze shows up in his tank and steals the diamond, and a car chase ensues. The scene of Batman actually capturing Mr. Freeze is actually pretty funny, but more importantly, that point of conflict between Batman and Robin is brought up again. It's actually a really interesting moment because although Batman was genuinely saving his partner, the entire reason Robin wanted to risk his life was to prove himself, an attitude which came about because of Batman's overprotectiveness. It's pretty complex stuff considering the movie it's in.

I like this scene in Arkham because it shows how the patients detained here are treated inhumanely, but the movie doesn't do anything with that which is another huge missed opportunity. At least we get a nice little nod to the last movie's villains.

Plot twist! Barbara isn't actually the sweet uni student you thought she was, she's actually a street racing punk who wears leather and despises authority! The visuals of the street race are stunning as always, but the part that sticks out to me the most is how she completely slams Bruce and Richard for their treatment of Alfred. They've always thought of him as family, but in reality he's just their servant, and now we have his actual family member coming in to challenge them. It would be super compelling stuff if they actually focused on it for more than two seconds.

I can't find a good picture, but something about the set design of Mr. Freeze's lab feels really cheap. The set itself is cool but the lighting design feels oddly bright, almost washed out. It gives off a kids TV show vibe, not helped by their encounter with Bane and Poison Ivy which is really cheesy. There's a good moment of banter between Batman and Robin to let us know they've reconciled, and Arnie does a good job showing the stress Mr. Freeze is under, but that's about it. If you saw this scene on TV with no context, you'd think it was a made for TV movie.

This next part is really silly. Why would Poison Ivy want Mr. Freeze to freeze all of Gotham? Wouldn't that kill all of her plants? The part where she seduces Commissioner Gordon is probably my favorite scene of Gordon in this entire quadrilogy, he really does a good job playing up the goofiness. The biggest problem is that the plant-infested GCPD headquarters looks really cheap. It's like the opposite of Mr. Freeze's Lab: the lighting is beautiful but the actual set looks so fake. Speaking of things that look cheap, what's with that Batgirl costume? It doesn't even look like a bat! This is probably one of the dumbest scenes in the entire movie, but it's still kind of sweet that they show Robin still trusting Batman after everything that's come between them.

I've been leaving out a lot, but the fight against Poison Ivy and the fight against Mr. Freeze actually are back to back. The Gotham Observatory is a beautiful set to stage the finale on, even if the actual plan makes no sense. There's also some nice moments of teamwork between the trio where you see how well they work together... or at least they would be nice moments if the three of them had any chemistry together at all. Seriously, this needed another draft. The fight scene isn't anything to write home about, but I do really like Batman's speech to Mr. Freeze at the end. It really shows the evolution of his character. In Batman 89 he was a hard edged antihero and a bit of a psychopath. In Batman Returns he became more bold and confident, but was also willing to open up emotionally. In Batman Forever he gave up his vengeance streak to become a more pacifist hero who only kills in self defense. Now, in Batman and Robin, he's willing to reach out to a man who almost killed the entire city, and to say to him that there's still a good man buried deep inside him somewhere under all the ice. It's too bad George Clooney is still phoning it in or it would have a lot more impact.

I know this movie has a lot of problems. I know I have a lot of problems with this movie. I know that one of my biggest problems with this movie is its cast. And yet somehow, watching the end of this movie, where Alicia Silverstone, Chris O'Donnell, and George Clooney put their hands together and agree to be partners, I couldn't help but feel excited to see them return. I want to see them come back in Batman Unchained. I want to see them fight Coolio's Scarecrow and Joker's daughter Harley Quinn with Batman hallucinating about Jack Nicholson's Joker. Heck, throw Man-Bat in there as well! And Tim Drake as the next Robin! And let's stunt cast everyone because why the heck not.

But that movie's never going to happen now. Even if they made a movie with that exact plot and everyone reprising their roles, it wouldn't be the same. It would just be nostalgia pandering.

There's one scene I left out, but it's arguably the best scene in the entire movie.

Alfred's lying in bed, dying. Bruce says to him "I've spent my entire life trying to beat back death. Everything I've done... Everything I'm capable of doing... but that can't save you." And Alfred responds by saying "There is no defeat in death, Master Bruce. Victory comes in defending what we know is right while we still live." They embrace. Bruce says "I love you, old man." Alfred says "And I love you, too." They smile. It's a beautiful scene on it's own, but it hits even harder because of Barbara's rant to Richard before. When Alfred says "I love you" to Bruce, it resolves his entire character arc in the movie. His search for his family has come to an end. Bruce is his family. Richard is his family. The Wayne's were his family. Batman is his family.

In short, this movie sucks, but I've come to appreciate the little strands of brilliance that live on inside of it. I may even like it a little more than Batman Forever. Just a little though.

Here's to hoping we see the trio of Batman, Robin, and Batgirl return to the big screen in the future. Have an ice day!

#batman #robin #batman and robin #1990s #review #retrospective #batman movie