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everyday I pray Zillow makes a comment section

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The Stages of Whale Decomposition

Things that move me to tears. 🐳🐋🌊

#whales

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you know. i never before ran into this issue where i find it hard to put any effort into a report because i fundamentally do not respect the professor for this class

but here we are

#tbh i'm almost done it's due at midnight but like. i just don't care. this dude has annoyed me all semester but also he likes my work #and i know i write well for an academic setting (somehow like genuinely idek how i ended up impressing my professors with this but whatever #so my motivation is at an all time low bc whatever. fuck him and fuck his class and i'm tired and loopy on cold meds so i really do not car #honestly i'm not even sure he's gonna really read this like it's a dense 3 pages and he's got like 20 students and the semester ends soon #like really is the guy who just sent me an answer key instead of truly answering my homework question gonna read all that? no. #old man professors are so often just so fucking weird and annoying and also lazy this shit is just bizarre #personal shit

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#😂😂😂

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ferns ferns ferns

#can't wait to have a yard one day that i can fill with ferns

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i dont “have ptsd” that’s all just the wizard’s curse

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Learn to love reading and research I promise you’ll never be bored again

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i already have a job and it's called keeping myself alive. why do i have to be employed on top of that

#especially since i'm still not very good at that first job anyways

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actually i would like to be an annoying white woman and speak to the manager bc whomst decided we should have tubes in our heads that can fill up with gunk and hurt like this is complete bullshit and i would like to lodge a formal complaint

#do white latinas have the same reputation? idc i'm imitating all the annoying wasp moms in the neighborhood i grew up in anyways #seriously tho my sinuses hurt and so my entire head feels pressurized and it's bullshit i hate it and i've had enough #personal shit

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im going to start compiling all the shitty booktok videos i find except theyre on reels bc i suck

#oh my god i'm losing it these cannot be real #i've seen the safe word one before but the rest ???? hello??????? #(also candy cane dick would fucking burn and give you a horrible horrible infection come on now also would it dissolve in there??? awful)

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The future is a benevolent black hole.

Sagittarius A* / Kathy Acker, Pussy, King of the Pirates / Outer Wilds (2020) / Is There a God-Shaped Hole at the Heart of Mathematics? / Drain for overflowing water at Sambuco Dam, Lavizzara Valley / ? / Thomasin Frances, Hole Theory (15/10/2022) / Bryan’s Ground, a public garden in Herefordshire on the Welsh border. / odd, weird, strange and unusual / Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves / Illustration of the Annular Eclipse of 1836 from “A fourteen weeks course in descriptive astronomy”, Joel Dorman Steele (1836-1886) / @imdad_barbhuyan on Instagram / The moon’s Copernicus crater. Through magic glasses. 1890. / Kaveh Akbar / Darina Muravjeva, Hole / Hilde Heynen in Heterotopia and the City / x / Leonard Cohen, Beautiful Losers / x /  Louise Glück, from Descending Figure / Anne Carson, Eros the Bittersweet: An Essay. / Caitlyn Siehl, What We Buried; from “A Letter To Love” / Lara de Moor, Orb (2014) / Sam Sax, Pig / The National - Wake Up Your Saints / Aleksander Rostov / Sanna Wani, from “Princess Mononoke (1997)”, My Grief, the Sun / Gregory Orr, [i want to go back] / James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room / Massive sinkhole swallows house in Florida / Edna St Vincent Millay, in Letters (1952) /Silent Hill 4 (2004) / Anne Boyer, What Resembles the Grave But Isn’t / Law of Holes / Scarlet Hollow (2021) / Lucy Dacus - Cartwheel

(part one)

#what does it say about me that i recognized the bit from house of leaves immediately lmao #web weaving #this is so good tho and also making me a little crazy thank you

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time to take some nyquil and go the fuck to sleep because i'm about 0.0005 seconds from spiraling into a panic attack about dying with none of my creative endeavours being put out into the world :))))

#that's been the worst part of this entire slump tbh. knowing it's there like i can basically SEE it all behind a foggy pane of glass #but i can't access my creativity all. i tried breaking the window and broke my hand instead and now i'm just stuck #and the thought that the longer this goes on the more likely i am to die and all my ideas with me...... #i gotta put my ass to bed before this goes any further i'm already sick anyways i don't need to feel even grosser from crying so hard #personal shit

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good morning 🌱

#animal crossing #finally started really playing again... this is giving me inspiration

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also being stressed is some bullshit like

stress -> less sleep -> stress from lack of sleep -> worse immune system -> sick -> less sleep from sickness -> stress from illness and lack of sleep -> get sicker -> more stress

it just never fucking ends huh

#like ENOUGH for the love of god ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!! #honestly just fuck 2024 like i knew this year was gonna be the worst when it started with the death of the only healthy parental figure #that i ever had. like that wasn't even a sign that was a breaking down the walls like the koolaid man entrance #then all the regressing i've done as a result of trying to actually work through my childhood bullshit in therapy it's just #god damn. it's too much. i guess it's a surprise this hadn't happened sooner but jesus christ. i need to run off into the woods #personal shit

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well it's no wonder i got so fucking exhausted and rundown later on in the day yesterday. i was getting sick and my immune system was spinning up

#can't stop coughing today and my throat is all scratchy. i already felt so cramp-y and gross from my period too this fucking sucks #why can i not catch a fucking break

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i hope that the discussion about student protests does not get reduced to "privileged rich kids faffing around at an ivy league school." setting aside that tenuous claim, over the last week, protests have erupted over the entire country. a few days ago, riot police beat, pepper-sprayed, and arrested NYU faculty shielding students; protests started at the university of southern california when the admin cancelled the valedictorian's speech; encampments appeared at the university of southern carolina, UT dallas, the university of maryland, the university of new mexico, IUPUI, virginia tech, the university of virginia, the university of illinois, the university of north carolina — chapel hill, the university of pittsburgh, uc berkeley, the university of michigan — ann arbor, MIT, emerson, tufts, the university of rochester, rice, swarthmore, the new school, vanderbilt university, with students arrested; students protested or walked out at miami university, northwestern, temple, the 5 claremont colleges: pomona, pitzer, scripps, harvey mudd, and claremont mckenna, stanford, washington university in st louis, students were arrested at ohio state, students were confronted by riot police at cal poly humboldt, after which they occupied campus, students were arrested at the university of minnesota — twin cities, after which faculty walked out; and yes, there are protests at the other ivies, most notably yale, with students facing mass arests after encampments, but there is also an encampment at brown, protests appeared at cornell, princeton faculty issued a statement of solidarity while students are preparing an encampment, and harvard banned the undergraduate palestine solidarity committee. there are thousands of students who are protesting for palestine across the entire country, facing harassment, arrest, and suspension in return

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Suzanne Rivecca, Ugly Bitter and True

#it's been years since this last came around on my dash but i think about it all the time like almost every day bc yeah. yeah..