resident-fungi-fren

[resident-fungi-fren]

being madly in love with someone platonically is so ridiculous. hey man i think about you all the time. i wish you were here right now. talking to you makes me indescribably happy. i miss you. honestly what the hell

[resident-fungi-fren]

introducing my four year old niece to the concept of "moral dilemmas" by telling her that i'm a monster that eats children and that i know it's wrong but i'm so so so hungry and everything else tastes yucky. i've tried all the human food in the world and it all tastes so yucky i can't even eat it. i can only eat children and i'm so hungry

[resident-fungi-fren]

I think the funniest dynamic for arranged-marriage royalty would be a queen who came here 100% prepared to murder her future husband and rule as a widow queen in her own right, only to discover that the king is autistic as hell and responds to her wish to rule with "oh thank god please do, I don't want to be bothered by these people. I can just tell them to go bother you instead, if you really want that. I've got beetles I wanted to study."

[resident-fungi-fren]

this from the guy who wrote the sting pain index, a scale he constructed after letting himself be stung by insects

[resident-fungi-fren]

With the hbomberguy plagiarism video on fire right now I want to share my favorite example of egregious plagiarism.

I’m a marine biologist. Currently getting my PhD. I’ve done a lot of scholarly writing. Many classes I took as an undergraduate had big writing components. I took limnology at one point as an elective. This course had one such big writing assignment.

The professor told us a story. He said he once got a student paper that absolutely blew him away. It was way beyond what he’d expected from the class. This was before we had online tools to check for plagiarism. The paper impressed him so much that he brought it home to show it to his wife. She began reading it and then set it down, looked at him, and said, “Dan, you wrote this.”

This student was dumb enough to not only copy a published paper verbatim, but to copy a paper published by the professor of the class.

AND HE NEARLY GOT AWAY WITH IT.

[resident-fungi-fren]

The thing about bugs bunny is that he lives and dies by his bits. He’s fully capable of killing you if he wanted, but the thing is, not only is he a nice guy, he’s a funny guy. To beat bugs bunny, many people assume that you just have to not fall for the jokes. If he hits you with a pie, you don’t flinch, and eventually you’ll ware him down. The issue is, misery will only last you so long. There’s only so much bits to endure before it becomes funny. And whoever is getting laughed at is losing. Instead, to kill bugs bunny, you have to beat him at his own game. When he throws a pie, don’t try to sidestep or be a sourpuss, that’s playing into his hands. Instead, you comically open your mouth and swallow it whole. This is how you kill a god.

[resident-fungi-fren]

missed the party, might as well miss the funeral.

[resident-fungi-fren]

Now make him sits thoughtfully upside down!!!

Please)

skyblings having a ponder

[resident-fungi-fren]

party for two :)

[resident-fungi-fren]

happy birthday, legend! ☀️

[resident-fungi-fren]

There’s so many parallels between Martyn and Grian’s characters but one of the funniest has to be “both of them have a special little guy (Ren and Mumbo respectively) and they will start to go off the rails if they don’t see him regularly.” Not properly enriched in their enclosures, going feral, attempting summoning rituals and building dog inspired bases, etc etc.

[resident-fungi-fren]

also i can’t come into your inbox and talk about secret life session 7 without at LEAST giving an honorable mention to impulsesv, second victim of the zombie apocalypse, who figured out what gem (his ally and patient zero, the original holder of the zombie apocalypse task) and bdubs (first victim) were up to like right away, walked up to them, and ASKED for them to kill him bc he wanted to murder people so bad. and then proceeded to be one of the bloodthirstiest players in a very violent day. like i can’t stress enough how funny it is to me that impulse (who is generally a peaceful friendly helpful guy) (and also a bit of a dilf but that’s neither here nor there) was like “I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE I WANT TO KILL”

how…h-how…*snickers* how impulsive of him :)

[resident-fungi-fren]

every friday

[resident-fungi-fren]

Remember that St Nicholas was jailed and stripped of his bishopric for punching Arius in the face during the Council of Nicea, so if you get on the naughty list, he might do more than just not give you any presents.

Also, apparently the best way to get on the naughty list is to argue that Christ and God are ὁμοιούσιος (of similar substances) rather than ὁμοούσιος (of the same substance), so watch your iotas.

[resident-fungi-fren]

who lit that dog on fire

[resident-fungi-fren]

fantasy author: But hear this. What if vikings. readers: [perk one ear, cautiously] fantasy author: But they're not historically accurate. Just the cool stuff without any of the slavery and pillaging. readers: [slowly peering out of the shadows] fantasy author: Just cool runes carved onto big-ass axes and battle hammers, braided beards and being tough as shit but also like, super organised and surprisingly high-tech for their age. readers: [distrusting, but approaching gingerly] fantasy author: Like super into war but also merchants. Showing up with goods like "yo are you here to trade or are we here to raid." Can run a bank and trade in gold but also fuck you up on a battlefield like that's their whole job. readers: [warily sniffing author's hand] fantasy author: And they're short as shit and live INSIDE MOUNTAINS! readers, suddenly delighted: DWARFS DWARFS DWARFS DWARFS

[resident-fungi-fren]

my dealer : got you some straight gas here ⛽🔥😜 this new strain is called "into the wild". you'll be zonked out of your gourd

me : yeah whatever. i don't feel shit.

5 minutes later : dude i swear i just saw a kittypet near the border

my buddy : [pacing around the camp] tigerclaw is lying to us