Okey dokey. No seggs please love me first and prove it. Std is real and shit is not that fun for me. Stability is fun like you feed me banana everyday real banana. Ughhhh
The Fallout show is pretty fun so far. I still have 3 episodes to go. Everytime Lucy said "Okey dokey", this was all I could picture.
you can't unless it's fake because it's just the way it is.
How to lose you without losing our memories in the past. I can't because to completely move on I need to erase those memories and treat it lik nothing special. It's just things happened in the past that's why I am still miss you, when I should put out those things long time ago when you didn't want me anymore.
My body is not what it used to be. So many sked marks lol stretch marks yeah Richard, I still can't forget you cause you are full of bs and I like it, I mean I have the pattern to love someone that unavailable just because my ptsd and I need to get this straight but it's hard, as in real life I don't have much chance and I should be thinking of something far more important than lust, I mean romance, it's love for me but it's mere boobs and fat you want.
𝐧𝐨, 𝐢 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭. So why the fuck yiu just bailed out on me like that? Because you just want my beautiful paws but not my flaws. You want me to fulfill your idea of love without ruining it for the real me. And how fucking dare you saying you love me when back then 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐞. Clearly it's just your casual jokes and hooks up but I dream of somebody who really be fuckin real to me
𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐨 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐡 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐞d. Waiting for the dirt to clean up from my mind. From all those broken promises made by many and believed by me.
Why am I so sad you said? Cause I am dependent to my parents when they don't even like me and vice versa with nothing, real chance for me now to be like getting money to properly eat. I mean I have money sometimes from my tutoring but it's jokes as there's not many people anymore and like calling someone, it's even worse as they just lied to me and I am fucked. I wish I am able to support myself but my parents made me like this as they think I am gonna fucking have someone to marry now and you know why I am fucking furious because they think they have done nothing wrong
So yeah why many hates daughter cause they think they're some kind of parasites and have no value unless they're married and get off from home. Instead I could play on some roles or dance my butt away (with pretty clothes on) but they seen this so lowly back then so they strictly said fucking no and punish me every day for what? For wanting to be able to be myself? And look at me now, I am fucking nothing and worthless. Thanks to them I guess I fulfill their dreams.
27 years ago, I wish I didn't make it alive. 𝐍𝐚𝐡 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞. 𝐢𝐭 but damn I am not. Just marry and it's okay, so it's not okay for me to wish I am able to buy my own bread because it's not great way but it's okay to marry someone even if they're fucking nasty and cruel as it's the perfect duty for women? Make it make sense. It's hilarious but I can't laugh as they had robbed me from the opportunity of me providing myself and now I fucking don't know as I am too old to start these things for real and I wish there is someone who genuinely love me and take me away but it seems they just want my saggy cake I don't even like. At least refresh my cake and we talk bout love.
Be fuckin real. It's not about the money but in the end it always is. And yeah there's not so much food today and I can't munch too much anymore cause this month my nana gave us so much snacks and it's gone. So back to another hell and they think I am just telling lies.
I wish I am but I am not, still playing this rigged roles of god knows what and why I am here anyway when I just want it to end peacefully and quick.
This life is overrated unless you have your basic necessities covered, if not, you're fighting to be alive and not really live anyway, you don't have time for it but then some people are just simply didn't participate not because they don't want, but because they can't. Different circumstances, different rules and same cruelty against people who don't believe in a thing or the same thing they're believe in.
You were my hero but now you're my enemies so stand back and watch your step before you walked in like nothing happens cause I am done playing part of someone who is always missing the fuck out of your lies and memories.
losing you perhaps the best option. Also losing weight. But my weight comes from eating my shitty feeling you gave me.
You know I always thinking too much and damn I even recorded this twice as actually when I wore green it's not my birthday yet. It is now and I choose to wear black because it's my mourning and happy color. Just like this mixed feeling you gave me.
And men mostly hurts my fucking feeling because I add nothing to the table? See those sick bastard of alpha men when they wanna get the fun but not responsibility. I mean my company is something on the table huh and my loyalty. Like the fuck they know how loyal I am even for now I should have forgot about someone who just fucking joking about my feeling but instead I am still fucking sad.
Men wan traditional women without treat her like princess anymore. Bye then. I mean if I can treat myself like one i don't need someone to abuse my feeling. But then I can't because they had robbed me from the potential of me doing things I love as it's sin and now it's too late, i just don't wanna be in this earth again but please make it quick.
Sky daddy. You hate me so much that's why I am still here. When two years ago, I am already almost fucking gone but now my gut is hurt, all my body, but they don't see this as I am so fucking good to appear okay as that's the only thing life has taught me. Too look okay when I am not. Well I am better but is not like before when I had her and she had me cause it's also fucking over.
I wish I like what I see but you only show me that your words and actions didn't match but yeah I kinda miss you because my life is sucker than your bullshit though. Damn.
Why you should have me by your side. Your life will never be bored anymore cause we will give each others roller coaster of feelings and we spend every day kissing all night long.
Wait what? Hahahaha yeah biromantic cowgirl here. Hmmmm things that don't work in real life also when I am missing you, you'll also missing me there, no matter how far away we are, we're still always be together in our mind. Hahaha too much. I am jut so bored and lonely, wish someone would take me out as I could not do that myself. Sad.
Things that work in fiction but not real life
torture getting reliable information out of people
knocking someone out to harmlessly incapacitate them for like an hour
jumping into water from staggering heights and surviving the fall completely intact
calling the police to deescalate a situation
rafting your way off a desert island
correctly profiling total strangers based on vibes
effectively operating every computer by typing and nothing else
ripping an IV out of your arm without consequences
Why devil associated with red? Because red is like the color of the blazing fire? Gosh I love red so much cause I am red headed girl actually (under the sun) it's flaming red but I ever dyed my hair black (no kidding) because my hair isn't black enough, is like always ash black in room lighting but under the sun is red, but now is not that red anymore (probably because black hair dye is kinda strong) and yeah. I wish my hair like black even under the sun like my mom, like the raven hair but it's not so goodbye snow white's dream, unless that snow white is red hair and my complexion is brown 😂.
I don't know the name of this flower but she's falling out and I pick it up
I am so fatt I've been eating so much sugar, okay can't upload more than one video so I have to add another post after this.
absolutely I inhaled the smell of the bleach I mean while I was washing my white dress and I can't even breathe now. Damn it I love white ⚪ is elegant but it's always catching all the dust and I am just furious now. Huhuhu. And my lace cardigan has some holes on it, as I wasn't careful enough while I was washing it, the hook on my bra been torturing these beautiful rose pattern laces. I feel so down, it's just some rags well those rags I loved so much. My mom always said it was just clothes. Well I wish I didn't have to buy all my clothes and have unlimited wardrobe to change depending on my mood cause it would give me fucking joy but then even my clothes are cheap (that's why it's tearing up easily, like it was only made for once used only) ughh I can't afford it. I can't anymore it's debilitating. For real.
Thranduil : "I'm just curious, do you think with our advanced healing, we could actually drink bleach?"
Celeborn : ....
Legolas : ...
Glorfindel : "well... There's only one way to find-"
Elrond, spraying them all with water : "ABSOLUTELY NOT!"
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