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Happy dating! 👩🏻🦰♥️🤴♥️👸
This might be a little silly question but how exactly do we start seeing someone and tell them were poly?
I myself am not in any relationship atm never were, but I feel like If I were to get into one I should tell my s/o, how do you exactly do that?
(Of course there is a chance I'll be the one joining a polycule but still i would like to know how to tell someone intrested in me that)
So general advice is, "the sooner the better" and I tend to agree. Having to break up a relationship of months or years over a fundamental incompatibility here hurts and might even make the other person feel lied to 😬
How depends on what this relationship looks like prior. I just put it in my dating profile with I'm using an app 🔥 to find people. Saves the drama of having to say it myself, because people that aren't interested just swipe away.
If you're friends first, I would handle it as telling a friend. I've always had the types of friendships where I can text "yo I know i haven't dated anyone but I think I'm poly??" to them at a quarter till midnight and have them respond "1 how could you possibly know (genuine question) but 2 heyyy congrats that's sick". If that's not your situation, your mileage may vary, but I still think that's the better way to go than asking them out first and then opening yourself up to a second possible point of rejection by only telling them you're poly after.
If its someone you met IRL and you're flirting a bit but you're not really dating and you're not really friends so you're not sure what you're doing❓That to me is the hardest place to tread. I have traditionally gotten to a "so what are we" point and then if we agree we're something romantic, I respond that I'm stoked but I do wanna be clear ahead of time that I'm poly. Otherwise, end of the first date (if you want a second) is a safe bet. Just a "this went really well, but I do want to make sure we're on the same page📑 about what we want" and make it part of that discussion along with anything else that falls into that category.
I hope that helps!! Happy dating! 💌
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Knowing! 👩🏻🦰♥️🤴♥️👸
poly fluff alphabet ˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍊 ꒱
a = affection; is anyone more overly affectionate than the others? when it comes to physical vs verbal, who prefers what?
b = bed; what’s the sleeping situation like? are there regular sleeping arrangements - does anyone like to sleep alone?
c = comfort; when someone’s feeling down, how do the rest look after them?
d = dates; what do dates look like? who usually plans them, or are is it a group affair?
e = events; who drags everyone else to their family/friends’ events?
f = fights; are arguments something that happen often? what are they over, and how are they resolved?
g = getting together; how did it all come about? were there any pre-existing relationships between them?
h = hobbies; does anyone share any hobbies/passions? how do they include the rest of their partners in them?
i = in sickness and in health - when someone falls ill, who’s the carer and who’s the germaphobe? is there anyone that resists being looked after?
j = joker; who’s got the best sense of humour? do they like to tease and banter with everyone else?
k = knowing; who can read their partners like a book? is there anyone who’s got their walls up, even around their partners?
l = lavish; is there anyone who really likes to treat their partners/show them off? how do the rest tend to react - who revels in it, and who’s made shy by it?
m = memories - is anyone more on the sentimental side?
n = nights; what’s the nighttime routine like when they’re all together?
o = open; how open is everyone with one another?
p = pda; what’s pda like with them? is there anyone who loves it, and anyone who’s less fond of it? what actions/words does it manifest as?
q = quiet; who prefers to spend their time with their partners out and about, and who likes to spend it at home?
r = romantic; is anyone a bit of a sap for their partners?
s = sharing; is there anyone who’s particularly territorial of their partners?
t = terms of endearment; nicknames! who’s crazy on them, and who do they make cringe? what’re the go-to’s?
u = urge; who’s the most impulsive? who do they loop into their plans, and who entertains their antics?
v = vacations; how do holidays go? are they big exotic trips, or the occasional staycation?
w = worthy; how are insecurities handled? is anyone more self-conscious than the others?
x = xoxo; who checks up on their partners a lot when they’re apart? do they call, or are texts enough to make them feel close?
y = yearn; who misses their partners the easiest (ie, calls them to hear their voices when all they’ve done is run to the grocery store)?
z = zealous; who was especially eager in their pursuit of the relationship? was anyone more reserved in their want for it?
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