ravenbled

[ravenbled]

poses hi hello. i'm still trying to solidify some headcanons and fix up some edits, but! like for a plotting call? i will run mach 10 like that shrek gif into your dms. i will hold up a single guy.

#eyes emoji

[ravenbled]

it's literally just straight facts idk da's just right. i just work here

I made this because it's one of my favorite memes, but in reality, I know @ravenbled is always excited as I am about Shota Aizawa.

#BRO HOLDS SOME GOOD POINTS I SHAN'T LIE #i was genuinely thinking earth so hard for sho but. water fits him just as strongly if not more #i think i like earth for him because of atla. i see him as an earth + metalbender #ooc.

[ravenbled]

poses hi hello. i'm still trying to solidify some headcanons and fix up some edits, but! like for a plotting call? i will run mach 10 like that shrek gif into your dms. i will hold up a single guy.

#ooc. #plotting call

[ravenbled]

Aizawa Shouta for Ana ♡

#visage. #queue.

[ravenbled]

kind of a brainstorming hc post lmfao.

so lately i've been chewing on the headcanon that shota's leg isn't a worn and detachable thing, but rather surgically connected to his actual body. i think this would be called an osseointegration procedure, and with the more advanced technology in bnha's world i'm willing to bet they've refined this process a lot.

i also have no doubt that recovery girl would've most likely helped speed up shota's recovery, per his request he would want to be out of that hospital as quick as possible. he's toughing all this shit out without anything as an aid, only allowing himself to even be seen with a mobility aid if it were a doctor or nurse. ( even then he put those crutches down as soon as he was able to steadily walk with his new leg. )

in a way it alleviates the phantom limb pain, but also makes it worse. like it almost feels like it's his actual leg but it just isn't. he reaches down and he should feel skin but he feel metal and it does really freak him out if he thinks on this too hard. he can't ever take it off unless he wants to undergo surgery again. and yet, he's starting to be able to run again. and even hike a somewhat steep slope.

he guesses it has its payoffs too.

#headcanon. #a heem heem. cyborg shota thx

[ravenbled]

i'm highly considering of some sort of spatial distortion/multiverse quirk just to KIND OF ground this idea into a reality lmfao. like in mcu spidey 3 bro just walks through a random portal that opens in front of him and is Highly Confused just all the time.

anyway this is so fucking funny i cant wait to see this shit play out

Okay hear me out...I know this is going to sound like a Rick and Morty clusterfuck of an idea but; Shota in a multiverse. Shota meeting alternative Shota and they get to compare notes.

"You got to live in the U.S. for over 10 years? What was that like?" "Active and loving parents? Tell me about that." "Shirakumo?" "Yeah...Shirakumo"

#HI THIS IS SO REALTHOUGH DA #my feral ass shota like 'knife first ask questions later' #and then it becomes a therapy session #ooc.

[ravenbled]

the darkness that must surely be there, it isn’t who you are. (haha ... toshinori <3)

ah, there it is. that golden ray of sunshine that continued to envelop all those who got close. those eyes that could see through a thousand walls, literal and mental, those eyes that threatened to see him for who he was. shota won't ever admit it but he was terrified of that exact thing, of toshinori of all people being able to tell just what was brooding in his stormy mindscape.

his voice, gentle and rumbling into the empty space of this tiny alcove garden, threatened him with warmth. threatened him with so much care and tenderness that shota was even more on-edge. that his eyebrows knit together just barely enough, an expression that had slipped past his control for microexpressions, his control in hiding what he always felt.

( surely, toshinori had no idea about his past? surely, he simply thought shota had just been struggling with negative emotions lately, in the wake of the raid that had took so much? surely, toshi hadn't thought much of the vehement denial of those medications and painkillers the hospital urged shota to take on a regular schedule, just until he had a somewhat normal life again? )

so he audibly clicks his teeth together, fingers fussing with the material of his jumpsuit as he struggles to make sense of speech. what does he even say to this man, who stood and looked at him like shota was genuinely worth more? there's a rage bubbling up, a familiar feeling yet so different to the violent hatred that had consumed him almost seven years ago. he can't even stop his mouth from moving.

" you have no idea who i am. "

heavenbreaker.

#aaaandi have to go to work now. and pretend to be normal #int65

[ravenbled]

once, when he was about 12 years old, he tried to get a moth out of his room. cup and napkin in hand, just when it was down on the floor in the perfect spot, he painstakingly slid the napkin underneath, so careful in a way as to not bring harm to the insect. eyebrows knitted in concentration and everything, not the slightest bit in any rush. he took a second to figure out how to properly pick up the napkin and cup without the moth slipping out in the slack during the walk - but just at the slightest movement, the moth poked its head right underneath the rim and he panicked, trying to hold the cup and napkin even tauter. the moth then didn't move as he walked, a bit of a hurry entering his step as he gently laid the napkin down outside, properly away from the closed door and all. when he moved the cup away and ushered it to move, it seemed to have shrunken in on itself.

and shota squat there for a while, silent, watching the tiny thing continue to shrink as the moments went on. there was the slightest texture inconsistency around the head, and he lamented on that for a long time. a life he couldn't protect. a life he potentially crushed in his own hands. it's a lesson that's stuck with him for years after that.

#little smth i was ruminating on #headcanon. #something something shota takes the most tiniest and mundane things and uses it all for fuel into adulthood

[ravenbled]

what if i'm just absolutely insane over erasermic .

#my art #visage. #present mic. #i uhhhhhh i got nothing for this one #i needed to draw something since i havent in like. two weeks and this is what came out of it #tbt.

[ravenbled]

are you like, stupid?

" to be fair, i don't think i've ever actually given it thought. my hair has just been below my ears my entire life. " shota gives a rough snort as @int65 slowly devolves into chortles and gremlin laughs, as he calls them. but i've literally asked you when you were high off your ass, and that's what gets me the most, buddy, is what follows - he just gives a short sniff of disdain in response. he drawls, gives an elongated nandemo, and takes a slow sip from his still-steaming coffee. the gears are turning.

shota almost spills the precious contents by the pure force of air that shoots out of his nostrils in a barely-contained laugh. some drops actually do manage to splash out onto the couch. (he does mentally note, they miss his legs because of how sprawled and spread-eagle he liked to sit in this chair. aksha's called it the 'pussy-out' look, much to his surface indifference.)

" hey. do you remember the most sacred phrase of japanese that i've taught you? listen well, my student : unko kutte shine. " deadpan. shota takes another swig of his coffee and doesn't even bother containing the smile to her squawk as she understood him. he flicks the coffee drips off the leather with the back of his hand in the sassiest way he could muster with a few movements.

and he has thought about it before. he's agonized over it before. hasn't ever stopped him or made him want to keep his hair short, it's too much effort. does aksha even know the time commitment that goes into maintaining short hair? so what if shota's major give is floating hair? tch. atleast he didn't look like the cockatiel that was yamada whenever he so much as left his apartment.

#transl 1: whatever #transl 2: eat shit and die #heavenbreaker verse. #int65 #HELP M #EEEI HELP ME I'M GOOFY FLOATING IN THE POOL.GIF #(EEEeeeeE)(EEEeeeeE)(EEEeeeeE)(EEEeeeeE)

[ravenbled]

And is the bus scheduled for zero minutes in the room with us now

#HELP ME GODDDD YOU'RE SO RIGHT #musings. #shota complains regularly to hizashi and aksha about the absolute Bullshit Fuckery that is the states #and its transportation #it bcomes something he genuinely hates with everything of his body and soul lmfao #'guys im about to actually learn how to drive because i cannot do this. i'm about to learn the entire world of politics'

[ravenbled]

love a character that's like. i survived (<- not a brag) (<- this is a curse that weighs on me every waking hour)

#musings.

[ravenbled]

shota and general body hcs.

* his elbow is the most prominent scar on his body, and even if that wound been 'fully' healed it's never really been the same. if he holds his bent arm in one position for too long, he has to crack it, moving in a very specific motion so the crack doesn't hurt. it tends to get locked in place like this, probably the effect of a weakened joint. as as result of this, he tends to lose circulation pretty quickly in his right forearm and hand, nerve damage and all playing a big role in general hand discomfort.

* hacking off his own leg with the extreme slashing force of a large dagger is something that viscerally plays in his mind over and over again. it's a haunting scene and feeling, reimagined and relived every time his cruel brain decides to play through it once again.

shota definitely experiences phantom limb pain, usually in bouts that occur for just seconds or minutes. he does have those days where he can't so much as stand look at his leg without 'wigging out', sensation and imagination too mixed to be distinguishable from reality. it plays hell with the mental shit he already has to deal with, but couple that with actual bodily sensations and it's led to a full breakdown. it's gotten better recently, but it certainly has not gone away. he absolutely refuses painkillers whenever he can, whenever possible.

* due to the nature of his quirk, shota's always been a little queasy around eye horror or eye gore. it's freaked him out since he was a teenager, and while it's not particularly something that comes up in conversation or is presented the opportunity to be known, he usually does not have strong outward reactions. that is, until he comes close to losing his eye. until he actually loses his eye function from a nail scratch.

now he can't even so much as stomach eye horror, and then nausea makes him even more anxious and then in turn more nauseated from emetophobia. it's a great loop. he stays away from anything to do with the topic, including the graphic injury to his own eye.

* i imagine he also has insane control over his eyelids on the battlefield. little ways to keep them lubricated by never quite committing to a full blink, but some things in between. he probably spent many days as a teen at ua, staring in a mirror, focusing all his willpower on mastering the muscle movements of his eyelids. bitches be squinting.

#headcanon. #in the jungle opening.mp3

[ravenbled]

Janet Fitch, from White Oleander

#musings.

[ravenbled]

we get all the bad dreams. we got to leave some for somebody else. (college days , akkie <3)

god, it's such a bitter scoff that bursts from his mouth. an irrational thought, something he couldn't even think of actually reflecting on - so stupid. if only dreams could be exchanged and passed along to others like she said, maybe then he could trade his in and get something new. something that didn't tear his heart from his chest with ichor-dripping claws and blood-covered teeth. maybe he could trade in his useless mind and dreams for something that was useful. something that could've been useful.

he mumbles incoherently in his native tongue, befallen to the empty space past his bitten-raw lips. ( could he stand it if someone else had to go through his suffering because he couldn't? ) and shota curls his lip in disgust, drowned by the long drag he took in an agitated way to get that little voice to just shut up.

" i wonder if there's a quirk like that out there. " another scoff that blossomed into a bitter cackle of a laugh, abrasive and rough on his vocal chords like sandpaper, " how funny would that be. such a shit idea turned into a reality while i sit here and think of all the ways it would make my head even more of a polarized battlefield. "

#heavenbreaker verse.

[ravenbled]

[sms] my back hurts.

to aksha, from shota <3

⠀⠀ It's like fucking clockwork. First message she sees when she gets off work – and she knows @ravenbled is high when he sends it, because it's the witching hours back home and Shota is allergic to a healthy circadian rhythm. Maybe that's unfair – Shota struggles with insomnia and nightmares just like she does. But God help her, she's sent unshrimping reminders every day and still the man just doesn't listen.

" Mannikavum Akkā, "⠀she mutters, and stops.⠀( It's reflexive, almost unconscious and entirely too much to deal with right now. Aksha doesn't have the bandwidth to think about the grey hairs she's caused her sister from worry. She doesn't have the space or time to wrestle with the open wound that is their slowly healing relationship, or recall the countless nights spent awake – bitter words and heartache preceding it. She just doesn't. ) ⠀Aksha inhales deeply. Counts to ten. Exhales all the love she can't bear to share and the itch to put her fist through the wall. Dial's Shota's number instead.

⠀⠀ He picks up on the fifth ring, which, honestly, it's impressive. She figured he might've fumbled his phone off the balcony.

" Sho-chan, "⠀she sighs, and earns a tinny, groaned, hai, hai, shitte imasu. Though with how slurred his words are, it sounds more like he's thrown a bunch of random nouns⠀( teeth, body and mass, in that order )⠀at her which –⠀" Yeah, buddy, sounds like an exciting night. "⠀She's smiling, though. More than she was before she called, at least.

⠀⠀ This is enough, she thinks, grinning as Shota hurls a curse that needs no translation. For now, this will be enough.

#no because i've literally read this 10 times since i got home i need to tattoo it across my retinas #seraph. seraph do you Understand That I Am Going Mental. about as mental as shota #I LOVE THEM.... god fucking save me i love them so much #saved writing. #even copy and pasted the tags lmfao

[ravenbled]

heavenbreaker thoughts. feat. discord things

i still have to fully solidify a lot of what HB's motives and ideology are in my brain, but i have been munching on the stain shit seraph and i kinda talked about during our bnha watch. i think on the extreme downlow, shota targeted heroes that only cared about themselves, and those who cared too little about themselves to throw themselves into danger( essentially self sacrificing ). Causing Problems On Purpose to see how heroes would work. then targeting the Shitty Ones.

i think sometimes he might've been working with akkie in the beginning as the two both got into their respective activism niches. but like. he got a good ol case of the "took it too far on his own", alcohol content 74%.

and i really do think that he kept heavenbreaker so far fucking underground during his early years. nobody really knew about HB past a name, and none could really make a connection just from discretion alone. his actions were mellow-ish in terms of ideology, nothing compared to what comes after when aksha goes missing. i think then it just becomes even more of a generalized anger towards the very world itself, rather than shitty heroes in a shitty hero society. more on a private/public info post incoming, but i think only nezu really found out from the Bad Shit and made the connections. he started getting reckless. he was quickly becoming the one thing he was actively seeking to destroy. started from a good place. ended with almost getting himself killed several times from all the bad shit he was putting himself in

i think he actually just gives up when aksha disappears, even if hizashi tells him he’s looking for her. and not gives up his act and gets it together, i think he gives up as a hero entirely. what good are they if they, if he, can’t save or protect those closest to him?? addiction gets worse and subsequently so do heavenbreaker's actions/general ideology. he puts targets in hospitals sometimes. he loses himself until hizashi physically shows up in the states and does something about it.

and shota does a complete 180 once he does, once he moves back to japan and fixates on actually helping to find her. it's almost like someone grabbed his hand that had been so far beneath the surface and finally pulled him up for air. not like yet not unlike guiding a child having a tantrum to somewhere else for a perspective change. literally.

i think he looks back on these years with disdain and regret, yeah, but he also uses it as fuel to make sure he stays on most heroic and just path he knows how. uses it as fuel to teach his students that hero work isn’t flashy and fun, it’s dangerous and tragic.

imo i gotta work out the details, but i think the only way he becomes a teacher is 1) hizashi + possibly nemuri genuinely begging nezu, telling him shota is would be a good fit for homeroom and 2) shota promising nezu through and through that he’s done with that life, and wants to commit to walking the path of a pro-hero

i'm cooking an hc that in the beginning of his teachers days, he actually struggled a bit with flashbacks. he'd be going to hold out a hand to help a kid up or he'd be in the middle of saying something to someone, and he just gets this flash. or right in the corner of his eye, someone or the person he's talking to is bloodied to the point of near-death and its just this jolt.

rough timeline: first emergences of heavenbreaker: ages 18-22 aksha disappears: age 22 heavenbreaker gets increasingly more and more aggressive and agitated: 22-25 shota moves back to japan: 25

on the flip-side of that:

i think honestly. the difference between shota's normal verse and villain verse is that he just. doesn't stop. he never becomes a teacher, hizashi doesn't get through to him. au where everything goes wrong, and part of that is his mental health and its deterioration

villain verse is literally just au where everyone fails their dice rolls

#headcanon. #heavenbreaker hc. #villain verse. #early hb was a public menace #late hb was violent and dangerous