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A surprisingly helpful bit of social maneuvering I've figured out from trial and error: Throughout your life, you are going to need things from people. Often, it's going to be on a deadline. And when that deadline passes, you generally want to know what's going on. So, you need to ask them.

There are two kinds of people, broadly, in this situation. The Shameless will tell you what the holdup is, with absolutely no regard for if the reason is "good enough". This is actually very helpful, because you get the real reason immediately, and can start working on a solution.

The Ashamed is trickier. People who are Ashamed are people who were often told they were giving excuses when they were trying to explain, and they'll often avoid you until they solve the problem on their own. This causes them and you a lot of stress, and often takes a lot longer to solve.

Long term, the strategy for dealing with people who are Ashamed is to provide a supportive environment where they're comfortable sharing any problems they're having with getting things done. But, there's a way to at least partially short-circuit that:

Provide an explanation for them.

One example might be "Hey Susan, I noticed that I don't have your report yet. Are you busy with other projects?" The readymade explanation signals that you're willing to accept an explanation, which is the big anxiety point.

Sometimes, you still won't get an honest answer- especially if the honest answer isn't "good enough" by the standards of the person who traumatized them. But, I've found that it often at least gets you a lie that lets you give them some slack or work around the problem.

Let's say that Susan has actually completely forgotten that she needed to do the report. She's horrified at herself, and completely unwilling to admit the real problem. But, she can now safely reply with "Sorry Jennifer, I've been swamped, and it got lost in the mix. I can have it to you in two days. Does that work?"

From there, so long as Susan gave an estimate for when she can actually do it, she and Jennifer can hash out a solution.

It's not a perfect solution, but it works astonishingly well for how small of a change it is.

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Wow. Talk about attention to detail.

Video here: https://twitter.com/javi_draws/status/965260617790738432?s=21

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Does anyone have the fucking tiktok video of the overly enthusiastic rich bearded guy showing off his new hiking shoes in his Mansion and the Woods, but then another dude duets with it to make it look like he's escaping from being held prisoner please please

edit THANKS @smellslikebot

#POV tiktoks give me life

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The real tabletop RPG party dynamic:

Fucker who makes you wonder exactly what's wrong with them

Fucker who you know exactly what's wrong with them

Fucker who seems pretty on the level, then halfway through the campaign you find out what's wrong with them

Fucker whose deal is actually kind of tame, but their inability to be normal about it is what's wrong with them

Fucker whose unshakable conviction that there's nothing wrong with them is what's wrong with them

Fucker who's just happy to be included, and that's what's wrong with them

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Things That Happen In Hunter X Hunter Without Context

The main character can't fight for a month because of math

There's a trans character who can grant wishes (but watch out!)

The most powerful villain in the show dies peacefully surrounded by a loved one.

Bungee Gum has the properties of both rubber and gum

There are two blonde pretty boys who love to smile all the time. They are both evil and fucked up, but one of them is definitely more fucked up and evil.

A guy gets killed by they/them pussy and then resurrected as a bug girl

Yes, the show is about a kid finding his deadbeat dad. His dad is such a tool that a random guy punches him in the face and almost becomes president as a result.

His dad left to make a video game.

One character is so pissed off at a group of 13 people specifically, that his powers only work on them

Literally everyone in the fandom agrees that departure is the best opening. It is 100% unanimous.

A man is so scared of a butterfly that he goes bald

Stabbing yourself with a phone antennae will make you go super saiyan

There's a nuke

The main character almost kills himself playing Rock Paper Scissors on multiple occasions

The superpowered transformation sequence is one of the most heartwrenching moments of the show

The world is saved by a blind girl who's really good at Go

Leorio

#I fucking love this manga #Togashi is a genius

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Friendly reminder that you should

Write that fic

Draw your OC

Redesign that blorbo

Plan that comic how you want

Create the content you want to see

Be cringe

Be free

The only thing that matters is you having fun! Not what others think!

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I wonder why

#need me a friend like that

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This machine kills AI

#kill ai with fire

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''Doesn't know what it's like to receive love''

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Saw someone mention the new Boston Dynamics' robot was introduced like a Souls boss. Was not expecting it to come out so creepy.

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no fucking way

#hell yeah