randompoems

[randompoems]

I love like a storm

a catastrophe that hits

and break your bones

and you live for the pain

of your blood rushing

and my eyes glistening

and you don’t know what to do

when the rain and thunder washes out

so you pray for sunshine;

a clear blue sky

and the birds singing

The storm that I am lasts forever, 

but you and I don’t

and 

I’m sorry

I’ll be a gentler war next time

[randompoems]

Everytime I look at your face

I see pieces

like a broken computer

working with burned wires

-

I want you to burn me

-

Today I forgot I had fists

punch after punch

and while I washed the red sunset from my hands

I wondered:

am I a murderer?

or did I killed my thoughts in self defense?

-

I look at you again

and you look like an angel

I want you to drain me

stain my sheets

-

Everybody always leaves

but you’re always whispering

and kissing behind my ear

your voice sounds like some cruel laugher

and I feel holy for the first time

I almost smile

-

My lips are full of ruby lies

and yesterday I tried to burn my mind

while you and I were dancing in forgotten light

I left three bodies behind

and all three were mine

-

Forgive me for leaving these marks

but once you told me my soul didn’t spark

and that heaven wouldn’t want me

but I couldn’t understand your words

because while looking into your eyes

I found hell

and while kissing the flames

coming out of your mouth

I burried my shame

-

Now I can say

I will never want heaven

if that means

I won’t be able to kiss you

on a bad day

[randompoems]

I wish I didn’t wrote poems about rotten feelings

I wish I didn’t look appealing to men

-

I am the most gentle kind of destruction

Ruination never painted so heavenly

-

Be careful while you get close

you are entering a ruin

I can fall apart at any minute

and you could be the next unlucky one

to have a piece of me

smashing you dead to the ground

I’m so sorry for the souls I’ve let down

-

I wish I didn’t have to bury you

I wish you wouldn’t become

just another corpse under my bed

and while I was cutting you open

I wished you blood wasn’t red

You were supposed to be my King

where are your golden wings?

-

I wish everyone could see

the rotting desires

I keep locked inside of me

I wish I could find someone

worst than me

-

Men don’t get to tell me I’m made of flowers,

Men don’t get to hold me on the early morning hours,

Men don’t get to touch my cheeks,

Men don’t get to make me go on my knees,

Men don’t get to smell me like I was some fresh breeze,

Men don’t get to hear me begging please

-

And if any men dares to get close to me

He is better be ready for the hurricane that follows

I will drain all your veins

and just hide another body

under my bed again

[randompoems]

I’m trying to convince myself

that love doesn’t taste the same to everyone

To me love tastes like blood on my tongue

and young flesh on my teeth

I swear I feel love on a punch

and eternity on your tears

I wish I could lick your heart

while you tear me apart

but instead I have your fingers on my mouth

while I stare at your face

and all I want to do is to erase you from my mind

I wonder if love is always gonna taste this bitter

I wonder if my bruises are always gonna look like glitter

I wonder if my brain is ever gonna stop screaming ‘’hit her’’

[randompoems]

I feel like there’s something on my throat

and somehow it’s trying to eat me alive

but what puzzles me is that whatever it is

is so fucking stupid

don’t you know you have to attack the brain?

I swear to God

when you finally makes me lose it

I’m gonna be so damn thankful

I swear I’ll love you

but right now,

honestly,

I don’t even think you have a brain

[randompoems]

I.

When I was 10 years old

my room was pink

and sometimes I swear I feel

that ink on my soul

I remember looking at the window

wishing it would rain

waiting for something to erase the pain

but I never expected to flood my house

with my own blood

and now all my walls are red

and I think I’ve lost my head

-

II.

When I was 14 years old

my room was all blue

and I thought it was perfect

because it matched with the ocean in my heart

I remember I wanted so desperately to become art

and I never expected to fall apart

but my blue walls used to hold me so close

whipping out my tears

and scaring away my fears

-

III.

When I was 16 years old

my room was all baby yellow

and I hated it so much

because yellow used to be such a happy color

and I didn’t wanted to scratch it

with all my sad thoughts

I remember my walls would whisper to me at night

saying everything would be alright

and that she loved me so much

while I kept carressing her

with my soft touch

I wish I could tell her how much I’m sorry

for leaving her alone

I wish she didn’t had to become

my tombstone

-

IV.

Now my room is white

and I always thought it matched

with my discolored mind

But now I realize

I am a blending of colors,

a never ending soul

I have pieces of myself everywhere

and all I want to do is to say sorry

to all the walls that got to see

the broken pieces of me

[randompoems]

darkness was all around me

I stepped in the ground

even though I couldn’t see it

it was cold and I felt like disappearing

suddenly I saw some light ahead of me

there lied a body

and I realized it was me

but I was shining

dark glitter all around me

I took a knife

and cut out the body’s wrists

and I could see stars

falling from it’s veins

there were nebulas on my eyelids

and whole galaxies on my cheeks

I remember

how I used to touch you

and I could feel the void

reaching your heart

and now looking at my fingers

I realized they contained black holes

patiently waiting to swallow

anyone brave enough to come closer

and I swear I’ve never been more grateful

that I was finally dead

[randompoems]

you didn’t even said goodbye

you didn’t take time to lie

[randompoems]

you shouldn’t be here

I am aware of all my deadly sweet signals

the calm look in my eyes

my bright smile

and pink cheeks

but shouldn’t be here

this corpse

is no place to built your home

-

I will claim I’m confused

oh my god so confused

but I don’t even believe in this anymore

you shouldn’t be here

what do you think you’re doing

you can’t reach my heart

by touching my chest

-

go somewhere else to plant your roots

this ground is infertile

-

On bad days

I will claim I didn’t knew

it wasn’t me

I’m not my own

and the fire in my eyes will make you believe it’s the truth

but please I beg you

don’t fool yourself

I’ve been here before

I know exactly what I’m doing

in this vicious cicle

c’mon listen to me

you shouldn’t be here

-

I have no idea

how to warn you about how dangerous my heart is

because I’m always hoping

this time will be different

in the minute I saw the bright look

on your eyes

I was already hoping

I would at least stick some good memories in your heart

before it’s over

-

right now I look at my bloody knuckles

and wish I will never have to see

your blood between my fingers

-

but I already feel

like apologizing

[randompoems]

I hate it when you look at me

your eyes shining like two little stars

because that means

I can only be the dark void

that surround the stars

and baby I’m so afraid

to turn into a black hole;

the last thing I want

is to drag you into the darkness

till your light finally fades

-

I hate it when you look at me

your eyes warm like the sun

I’m always wondering

if you’ve gone blind

and can’t see the frosting bones

in front of you

baby don’t you see

you’re not gonna be able to warm

the winter inside of me?

- j.b.b

[randompoems]

you look me in the eyes

and ask me

if I ever look at the sky and realize

how small I am

but I don’t need to see the stars

to realize how tiny my existence is

I am okay with the mortality of my soul

I wish I could no longer live

in this rotten self

I want my soul

to be crushed into millions of pieces

and I know

none of them will become shiny stars

in the wide sky

I want my identity

to be ripped out of me

and have my body

being left with bruises

but unfortunately

the only way I know to get

everything I want

is by loving violent things like you

- paint me with your screams

[randompoems]

I know that when I tell you ‘‘I would give you my whole world’‘ you think I love you so much but the truth is my own world would be better without me and I’m willing to give it to anyone with gentle hands - when I take care of you while I kiss your bloody knuckles and beg for the next punch I know you think I’m so breathtaking beautiful and willing to take everything you have to give me and that I love you so much but the truth is there’s nothing I love more than the sharp pain of your hands on my body and the filthy feeling I get afterwards - When I’m on my knees for you I know you think the tears on my cheeks are there because I’m so overwhelmed by love, I love you so much but the truth is my eyes are wet because I can’t understand why I feel like I was made to be on my knees for everybody who is brave enough not to look away - I know that when I tell you ‘‘baby you’re so beautiful I would die for you’’ you think my love for you is perfect I love you so much but the thing is I can’t never make you understand how much I’d love to be burried under your feet or how to explain that the only time I love you

is when you’re taking my breath away

with your hands around my throat

-

at the end of the day

when you play with my hair

and fill me with gentle words

and I blush

I know you think the red on my cheeks

is my heart sending you a hint

of how much I love you

I love you so much

but the truth is

my heart is screaming

trying to tell you

to run away

that you should know better

than to fall in love 

with a girl

who doesn’t love herself

- I want to ask you to hit me harder but I don’t know how

[randompoems]

when you decide to talk with me

please

forget all the nice words your tongue can create

because those are the words

that will haunt me on my sleep

right now

I’m bloody fingers, distant shadows,

bad wine and 

unhuman wounds

whimpers and pleads

and I need you to know

that I cannot

stop myself

from destroying all my being

I need you to know

it is ok if you want to run

I know it is hard to love

someone who is never the same

to love an amount of things

you can never explain

[randompoems]

I am ruthless

and reckless

and maybe you can’t believe me

but the blood on my knuckles are only mine

(not that it makes it less terrible)

I’m no place to built your home

I’m a shadow

and soon enough

I’ll be gone

with a thousand of apologies

on my eyes

‘‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry

I can never’’

[randompoems]

you’re the only one who understands

what’s like to have your identity

ripped out of you

you’re the only one who understands

what’s like to be a gun

[randompoems]

I don’t think I’m ever going to be able

to give myself credit

for the good things I do

and I do not need you aprovement

and interested eyes

I was always fine

living with the monster under my bed

and I do not need your help

to kill it

[randompoems]

I remember times you’d smell like blood and anger

and I can still feel how worried I used to be

even though right now I don’t really understand why

and sometimes when I’m beating someone to death

or cutting someone’s skin open

it’s not their screams or pleads

that makes me almost stop

but the smell of blood

and the memory of big blue eyes

-

I remember times you’d smell like sickness and soup

and I desperately wanted to bring some color to your cheeks

it was on one of those days

when you used to be on your bed forever

and cough was the only talk you knew

when I realised

how much I loved you

-

I remember when you’d smell like fire and gundpowder

and how different you looked

and suddenly helping you became my religion

I swear to God that even though war was all around us

I would never let it reach your heart

-

I remember you used to smell like paint and brushes all the time

So I figured out you were art

now you smell like a lot of things I don’t know

and looking at you makes me think

of all the things I don’t remember

but somehow I know

you’re still the closest thing to art

I’m ever gonna have the honor

to touch