randomitemdrop

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Item: codpiece with concealed twelve-chamber revolver that totally works, despite the chambers clearly not overlapping with the barrel. As far as I can tell, you fire it by clenching

#from dusk till dawn #what a movie #crotch slot #tom savini #weapons #ranged attack

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Item: bootleg Nike clown shoes

Source: an eBay store I stumbled onto that specializes in clown shoes

#foot slots #feet slot

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Item: papier-mâché Jerma

this is the most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen jesus fucking christ

#uhhh #decoys and lures

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Item: hollow bronze monster figurine of unknown use

Source: a 17th Century object, probably but not definitely an oil lamp

#mystery items

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Item: Gun of Irresistible Dance; allows a non-magical user to cast the spell at a target up to 200 feet away in line of sight

Adam Magazine (1957)

#ranged attack

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Item: Drink Service Construct in the form of an animated statue of a muscular naked man with a glass tray where his head should be; programmed to transport drinks from the bar to tables or to walk a pre-written path for special events

Photographis 86

#constructs #animated items

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Item: wooden motorcycle for gnomes

#vehicles and mounts #very small ones

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Item: Christmas Tree Cannon

#ranged attack

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Item: Walterberries, a delicious snack that cleans teeth and freshens breath. HOWEVER for every ten berries a creature eats, roll 2d10; if you roll the same number on both dice, the creature is afflicted by an hour of mild One-Who-Knocks-Ism, a condition marked by grouchiness, snarling catchphrases, and a hunger for blue raspberry rock candy. Creatures unfortunate enough to experience multiple hours of the condition are at risk for hair loss, alignment shifting towards Evil, and +1 on Skill Check (Alchemy) for every hour spent.

i stopped the dental technician while he was applying fluoride to ask what the fuck the flavour was supposed to be. And he was like oh I was wondering that too. It says it's walterberry.

#food and drink #plants #if you find a Walterberry bush at least

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Item: Stilt Stalker Heroic Battle Stilts; while worn, they allow Good-aligned creatures to double their height. Evil and Neutral creatures can put them on but will immediately fall on their face every time, regardless of Dex save.

Stilt Stalkers - Masters of the Universe (Mattel)

#uhhh #vehicles and mounts

[randomitemdrop]

Now available as a sticker or magnet (or tee shirt or coffee mug or whatever)

Item: apparatus allowing a horse to fire a gun

#capitalism

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Item: Tower of Bro-Ing Out, a small prefab multilevel tower in which two bros can lock themselves to bro out without being disturbed or observed. The lights on top indicate whether or not the Tower is in use. In an emergency the gas canisters at the bottom can be activated to rocket the Tower to a new location.

#furniture

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Item: 10,000 poison Ivy berries

#uhhh

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Item: Blade of the Bootcher, a huge blade capable of slicing ghosts into delicious ghost-meat

The Bootcher! Slicer of spiritual sashimi, the Bootcher! Able to size-up the ethereal realm and render them into ribeye, this morbid meat maker can mulch the morose into filling fillets! The tragedy being that once you are broken down as a ghost, it's all over.

#weapons #melee

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Item: wears like denim, protects like Stoneskin

Levi’s

#armor #legs slot

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Item: Ring of Level Checking; the wearer may place their hand on any surface to determine what angle it sits at, or on a creature to determine what level it is.

#have I really not posted this already? #divination #finger slot

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Item: Purse Rat, a small metal rat that compulsively seek out coins to fill themselves, returning to their attuned master once full.

I want the rat coin purse

#creatures #tools and equipment #for thieves