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A Day To Remember

2|7|2021

This date has changed me. Where I fall in love, involved with love, fight for love and sacrificed for love. I have to admit I still want that person in my life cause I know I feel better, I feel myself when He arounds me. But it is just me, not him. He changed.

As for this, I have to let him go. Is that we called sacrifice?? Let him find his own goals and happiness while me slowly find myself back. He left BIG WOUND in me. Till now, the pain still there and that is why whenever the pain comes, I try my best to distract it and forget it. The hardest task to do I guess 🤣.

One thing I learned from my love life, don’t ever loved someone more than yourself otherwise you will get hurt, lost and etc just like Me.

There’s a big mistake I did after we broke up. Idk what I’m thinking that time. But I glad that I stopped it. Not bcs of him but it’s bcs of my mental health couldn’t take it anymore🤣 well about this, I will storytelling if I want to.

Before I end my expression today, just wanna remind myself to love myself more and stay single till someone match me again✨

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Night thoughts 💭

I feel much better than earlier. Thanks to my short nap. I hope when I wake up tomorrow morning, my spirit will be much better than today.

Listen to slow music which I get it from Ali and the Queen movie. This 2 songs calm my mind tonight.

~ I love you by Billie Eilish

~ Why would I be by Teddy Adhitya

Quite sentimental tonight but sokay. As long it brings my mood back.

Wuu Adhitya? Cool name. Might consider it for my future kids if I have a chance 😌

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Sleepy & Lost Motivation

30|Jun|2021

What I’m have today is I feel sleepy 24/7 and in the same lost motivation idky.

I feel nothing like totally nothing. My colleague brought her son to office today. And idky I felt annoyed with that kid tho. He’s good at first… then he became hyperactive a few hours later like his mom asked him to sit properly but he doesn’t want to. I try to calm my mind and think in positive way. Keep talking to my mind ‘maybe he’s bored.. maybe he’s bored..’ I just can’t wait till lunch time cause his mom will send him to his grandma’s house. It’s not I don’t like him but.. my mood is not there today🤧 sorry kid, aunty is so sorry.

I’ll try to get in bed early today and fix my mood.

Love me ..

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Unhealthy Mind

29|06|2021

Today, I just realize my surrounding fill with unhealthy mind or known as mental health issues. We have the same issues but different people facing different problems. What I’m glad is that.. we shared it together and face it. I know some people might not strong enough to deal with it and end up, you know what I mean. 

Me myself, I think I’m facing depression but mild cause I still can fight and thinking straight ^^. Thanks to my friends, they helped me a lot. I do appreciate them and I’ll do the same for them. Fyi, I’ve been experience in losing friends and my ex-bf previously which Idk for what reasons and more shocking.. I never thought they would left cause I always have this kind of thought ‘FOREVER’. Maybe I’m a toxic person. To be frank, yes I am and they just can’t be with me anymore. Thanks to them for making me realize all of that. As for that, I avoiding myself from them and be alone. Until I met Ellis, Siti, Avon, Steff, Ez and Zymah. They more important to me NOW. Not going to have high expectation anymore cause you know what I’ve been telling right? For now, I’m Happy with them like extremely happy. Thanks to Allah.

What I can say is DEPRESSION IS REAL. Not a joke but it is a serious matter. I do hope that people will take this as awareness and alert to their surroundings.

As Zymah said, we can’t force people to open up to us but let us be their listener. At least, the burdened they carried less abit and calm their minds.So that’s from me today. And yeah I feel better after sharing this here ;)

                                                                                       Love, Me <3

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New-Bie

Most probably I’ll be here to express my feelings, my days and whenever I need tooo. This gonna be my personal stuff so let see how it works.