quertynosedive

[quertynosedive]

- 𝚆𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍’𝚟𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚙 𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛

- 𝚆𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎, 𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚎𝚍, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗’𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎

- 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚜. 𝙰𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚜

- 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚐𝚞𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚊𝚕𝚊𝚡𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚊 𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚏 𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝙸’𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎

- An excerpt from a story I’ll never write

[quertynosedive]

[quertynosedive]

But we were happy once, I remember, foolish smiles on our faces. But I cannot summon the feeling, It's been too many years covered in bitterness.

From the lonesome nights, with you there beside me. Hollow. Silence slept like a baby between us. And I was not really with you anymore. I was inside my head, in mind. Living a different life. And you, were no longer in it.

[quertynosedive]

& so what–if my feathers are burning. I never asked for flight.

// Ocean Vuong, Night Sky with Exit Wounds

[quertynosedive]

The Strength in our Scars by Bianca Sparacino

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but darling we can't force people to choose us.

[quertynosedive]

A Gentle Reminder by Bianca Sparacino

[quertynosedive]

“Focus on you. People wake up with different feelings everyday.”

— Unknown

[quertynosedive]

When love is unreliable and you are a child, you assume that it is the nature of love – its quality – to be unreliable. Children do not find fault with their parents until later. In the beginning the love you get is the love that sets. I did not know that love could have continuity. I did not know that human love could be depended upon.

Jeanette Winterson, from Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?

[quertynosedive]

“The woman you are becoming will cost you people, relationships, spaces, and material things. Choose her over everything.”

— Unknown

[quertynosedive]

It’s crazy how being held by someone for just a few minutes can forever change how it feels not to be held by him. The second he releases his hold on you, it suddenly feels as if a part of you is missing.

Colleen Hoover, Maybe Someday

[quertynosedive]

The worst thing in the entire world is when you’re sweeping a big pile of dirt into a dustpan and it leaves that little coke line of grit behind. No matter how you position your pan or your broom and no matter how many times you sweep over it your outcome cannot change. As immovable as fate. I hate it so

[quertynosedive]

I’ll buy a one-way ticket to Berlin and fall in love with no man or woman but myself.

And I’ll come back to home with the hound and talk about where I’ve been and everything I had felt.

My time away won’t consist of drug-filled nights and smoke-filled rooms. Instead, I'll bike around the city and visit art museums; maybe I’ll even think about you.

But only in the way where I feel at peace with myself and where you are headed, even if that means I’m not by your side.

I won’t be concerned with what could’ve been, but what is occurring now and how beautiful the city looks when the sun sets and rises

i’ll drink coffee, despite never liking the taste, because sometimes tastebuds change, and second chances aren’t always the worst decision to make.

i’ll share my bread with those I meet along the way as we exchange stories about our lives and all we wish to do before we die.

I’ll sing,

I’ll laugh,

I’ll cry.

And that one-way ticket I bought, I’ll frame for display, a reminder for who I used to be and who I am today.

[quertynosedive]

I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure of the landscape—the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn’t show.

[quertynosedive]

“I am rooted in love, but who enjoys my flowers?”

—

[quertynosedive]

رميت كل قواميس في النار وسميت لغتي.

I threw all of my dictionaries in the fire and named you my language.

[quertynosedive]

building my own empire through wasted days, lost memories and fear.