quakenshake

[quakenshake]

Prompt: The Next Day Part 2

First of all, I am SO sorry that this took so long to get out...honestly, it became way more involved than I originally intended, but I didn't want to cut it short or leave out parts that I felt were important. I hope you guys understand...and I will try to put out another piece of writing soon to make up for it <3 -S

Warnings: violence, angst, toxic behaviors, verbal/emotional abuse, language, mentions of death

Storyline: Drunken Words, & Sober Thoughts, The Next Day Part 1

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“Fuck off, Chishiya.”

Here he was, over 12 hours later, the same words bouncing continually off the walls of his mind. He’d found his usual spot on the roof of the hotel several hours prior, choosing to spend the day away from prying eyes. Not that he was ever particularly fond of nosy beach residents, but today he felt what little patience he had for them melting at an alarming rate. So instead, he fell into the old, comfortable habit of observing from a safe distance.

Below him, the partiers were up to their usual antics- swaying bodies blurring together, alcohol spilling from the rims of too-full glasses. He found himself envious of their ability to live in such a state of denial. It was a perk of being stupid, of course, but a perk nonetheless. In a way, he supposed that he was attempting to live in his own state of denial. That was why he’d found his way to the roof, right? He could try to blame it on old habits, sure…but as his steely eyes darted from one drunken fool to the next, he new that what he was really searching for was a distraction. Something to deafen the words that had infected his mind.

“Fuck off, Chishiya.”

In another world, many years ago, these words were commonplace. Sure, the verbage would change from time to time- ‘Not now, Chishiya.’ ‘You’re an annoyance, Chishiya.’ ‘Stop crying, Chishiya.’- but the message was always the same: you’re unwanted as you are. There were times when he felt that he’d lived his life as a shell, something devoid of any real sustenance. Being around people like her was always an unwelcome reminder of this. He could ridicule her for her emotions, mock her feelings, and call her senseless until he was blue in the face, but at the end of the day her eyes held a life that his did not. He’d often pondered if he’d been born this way- some piece of his puzzle being mishapen and unlike anyone else’s. On quiet days like this, days where he found himself just a little more guarded than usual, he’d ponder if his puzzle piece had been tampered with, instead; broken, bent, ripped apart. This was a reality he wasn’t ready to face.

He heard the door to the rooftop groan as it opened, and knew immediately that she’d found him. In truth, it was a matter of time before this would happen. Besides, it wasn’t like he’d exactly been hiding from her. But he felt ice begin to form in his veins nonetheless, taking a reluctant breath before finally turning to face her. The ice must have travelled to his eyes, too, because she seemed frozen in his gaze. Unlike him, she was always an open-book, her expressions and postures giving away each and every thought that crossed her mind. At the moment, her body radiated uncertainty, fear, and guilt. She’d yet to stand in front of him in such a frail state, and he couldn’t deny the satisfaction this brought him. He allowed his stare to continue its attack on her as she stepped forward tentatively, the rooftop door swinging shut behind her.

“Hey,” he heard her mutter softly. Her voice was meek, such a contrast to the confidence that it usually held. It would have been music to his ears- should have been music to his ears, but for some odd reason it seemed to annoy him even more. A warm breeze stirred, and he watched through narrowed eyes as she lowered her gaze and brought her arms up to wrap around herself. He knew it was an attempt to comfort herself, but he didn’t want to let her off so easy. Instead, he turned his focus back to the residents below.

“How was your game last night?” he asked, words piercing through the air. For a split second he thought he saw her flinch out of the corner of his eye. Nervous hands toyed with the strings of her jacket as she stepped forward, closer to where he stood. He refused to let his gaze meet hers, refused to acknowledge her presence beside him. He wondered for a moment if she would choose to avoid his question.

“Uneventful,” she said finally, in a level tone that mirrored his own. “People died, as usual.”

Avoidance, indeed, he thought, letting out a small hum. He knew that she hated every moment of this, and her shaky breaths beside him told him that she was uneasy with his question. If he was feeling kinder, he may have chosen to change the subject. But she did not deserve his kindness.

“So why did I find you acting so recklessly at the bar?” he continued. Her tension beside him grew, and he knew he’d hit another nerve. Good. He prepared himself for a retort, mind already searching for more attacks he could send her way.

“Believe it or not, I’m no stranger to drinking,” she said instead. Her voice was still meek- still submissive, and he hated it. He wanted- no needed this fight. “Besides,” she continued. “Aren’t I allowed to be reckless now and then?” 

He felt his patience snap into two. Spinning around to face her, his composure all but gone now. In the time that he’d known her, he’d learned all of the things that made her tick. As expressive and open as she was, it wasn’t difficult to pick up on the things that she hated. The things that would hurt her. Today, he planned to use them all.

“No, you’re not,” he said, mustering all of the condescension he could. “Not if it means I need to come save you.”

He could see her own patience wavering as she took in his words, and more importantly, the tone behind them. She’d come to him so composed, so ready to beg for his forgiveness. Part of him savored that, and the other part wanted to see her drown in her own apologies. He wanted her to know that he could break things just as easily as she could. He wanted to see her composure snap beneath his words.

“You didn’t save me, Chishiya,” she responded with a warning tone. “I was doing just fine without you.” She was grasping for straws now, any reason for her to stay on the rooftop with him.

“Oh, really?” he said nearly instantly. Break.

“Yes, really!” Break. “You act like I was surrounded by wolves!”

“And you act like you weren’t.” Break! “I’ve always known you were slow, but I never took you for naive.” 

Break!

Her jaw tensed, eyes flashing with rage at his words.

There it is, he thought with satisfaction as her facade began to crumble. No longer did she tremble before him. No longer did she wish to repair what she’d broken. She faced him head-on now, the usual spark in her eye finally igniting. He’d finally gotten her to the state he wanted her in- one where she was prepared to throw it all away.

“If I’m such an idiot, why bother?” she asked, voice raising. “Why come save me at all? Isn’t the great Chishiya above charity work?” She was practically shaking with anger now, voice laced with the same fire that had burned him so harshly the night before. He reveled in it, memories of his childhood hitting him in waves. This is what he knew. This is how others felt about him- how they’d all felt about him. It was inevitable for him to lose her to those feelings, too. So why not stoke the fire- let it sizzle a bit?

“If you think I went there for you, you’re mistaken,” he egged her on. “The last thing Kuina and I need is for our plan to be spilled because you’re an emotional wreck who can’t hold your liquor. Getting you out of there was damage control, nothing more.” He forced his eyes away from her then, knowing his dismissal would hurt just as badly as his insults.

It was a moment before she spoke again. Chishiya could see her chest heaving from the corner of his eye and knew that he had been successful in his attack. He pretended not to see the gloss of tears forming in her eyes, pretended not to feel the pang in his chest that came with it. She’s no different, he reminded himself. She’ll never be any different.

“You’re unbelievable, Chishiya,” she said finally with a tremble, as if to confirm his thoughts. In a way, he was grateful for those words. For a moment, he’d almost forgotten how much he hated her…and more importantly, how much she hated him.

“And you’ve outlived your usefulness,” he said back, eerily calm. “Get drunk, do drugs…be exactly like them.” He gestured toward the partiers below, but in his mind, it was his father’s image haunting him. His father, the nanny, the tutors, his peers…she could be just like them for all he cared. “But don’t expect me to save someone who can’t even save themself,” he ended, placing the final nail into the coffin. He expected her to leave then, just like he was used to.

“Oh, I’m perfectly capable of saving myself, Chishiya,” she began again. Oh? he thought. Has your fire not died out yet? “Why don’t you go ahead and tell me what you heard. I mean, I’m sure the whole Beach knows by now. I’m sure they’re all talking about how I shot that girl.”

In truth, he’d almost forgotten. It was the whole reason he’d gone to find her, after all. The whole reason he’d found her drunk. She was in pain, too, he remembered. It shouldn’t change anything, yet he felt himself hoping she would continue. Misery does love company, after all. He’d seen her angry, and now he’d seen her hurt by his words. But this pain, which caused her voice to drop to a near-whisper…this pain was familiar. He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of a reply, but he shifted his head slightly in her direction.

“I put a bullet in her head,” she continued. Her voice was monotonous now, plagued with a fatigue only heartbreak could cause.  “Didn’t even hesitate. Didn’t think twice.” His ears strained to hear her over the growing breeze. “She was in a bear trap, Chishiya.”

He knew all of this already, of course. Word had spread, as she’d guessed. He’d heard the hushed words and had been able to compile the basics of the story. It had been a hearts game; seven players, each given an unloaded gun. The goal had been to search the arena for a single bullet, which would be used to kill one of the seven players. Once a victim had been killed, the other six would be allowed to leave. It was unlucky that she’d been the one to find the bullet, but it was luckier than being at the other end of the gun. He knew she wouldn’t see it that way, though.

Turning to face her now, he took in her fragile state. Guilt poured off of her in waves- a guilt he’d never known. Seeing her now, he realized that he hadn’t been the one to break her, after all. She’d broken herself before he’d even found her. Letting out an inaudible sigh, he waited patiently for her to continue.

“I killed her,” she said, growing dangerously close to sobbing now. “I fucking killed her.”

Chishiya was torn. Every instinct in his body told him to run. It was not his job to fix her, especially when she’d made it so clear how much she despised him. Especially when he’d already come to her rescue so many times before. But her face was red now, and tear-stained, and he couldn’t help but want to wipe those tears away. Her voice was shaky and tired, and he longed to comfort her, even if he wasn’t quite sure how. Now who’s the emotional wreck?

“So what?” he said eventually, sealing his fate. “You’re not special.” He knew the words were harsher than she’d like, but he was still too raw to offer anything more gentle. 

“What?” she asked in a whisper, and he knew he’d need to clarify.

“Do you think you’re the only one who’s killed? Is that it?” he continued. He could see the gears turning in her head as she struggled to find his meaning. She wasn’t quite sure if she could trust him. “There’s not a person here who isn’t stained with blood,” he added, hoping she’d understand. Realization set in, and her face softened slightly.

“That’s different,” she responded, voice still hushed.

“So you do think you’re special,” he said, toying the line between comforting and annoying.

“No, you don’t understand-”

“I understand perfectly well,” he interrupted. He thought he could see the hint of frustration returning to her eye, but he knew it wasn’t directed at him anymore.

“No, you don’t know everything, Chishiya!” she retorted.

“I know you,” he said softly. He could tell his words surprised her as much as they did himself. But seeing surprise on her face was better than seeing pain, so he pushed himself to continue:

“I know that you hold yourself to a higher standard than anyone possibly could. You expect yourself to be different- act different- than everyone else, because you think it’s what you’re supposed to do. But that’s the thing- you aren’t supposed to do anything. Your instincts are the same as mine, and Kuina’s, and everyone else’s. Your will to live is the same. So why should you be held to a different standard? Why shouldn’t you have killed her? Was that not the cost of living to see another day? Would she not have chosen the same fate for you?”

He paused then, allowing his own heartrate to become steady again. It was unlike him to falter, but he had placed himself far outside of his comfort zone. So he focused once more on her, taking in the softness of her features and the way her tear-stained eyes blinked up at him. Perhaps he was imagining it, but it seemed as though the pain beneath those eyes had lessened at his words. He knew they were harsh- knew they weren’t what she wanted to hear. But he didn’t have it in him to be gentle, especially when her own words had cut him so deeply not long ago. These words were all he had to offer.

She slumped down against the ledge of the rooftop, pulling her legs toward her chest and wrapping her arms around them. Her gaze was distant, her mind surely hundreds of miles away.

“Why didn’t you stay with me?” she asked eventually. He listened for a hint of sadness or even anger in her voice, but found only curiosity. He thought for a moment he would have preferred the sadness or anger. She was asking him to be vulnerable again, moreso than he’d already been today. “I told you mine, now you tell me yours.”

He knew what she meant. In her mind, he had spent the last several minutes breaking her down until she was forced to confess her deepest secret- that she had killed someone. Now, she felt that he owed her his own secret- that he loved someone. Sighing, he settled down a short distance from her, avoiding her gaze. He didn’t owe her anything, and even if he did….

“You were drunk,” he answered. “And broken. It wasn’t my place to stay.” Liar.

“I needed you,” she whispered almost immediately. Then why did you hurt me?

“I know,” he responded.

They sat for a while, sun dripping lazily from its place in the sky. Chishiya felt drained; never before had he allowed himself to reach such a state, and part of him wanted to resent her for it. But the other part knew that this was all so inevitable…from the moment she first wormed her way into his life, he was bound to find himself here, wanting nothing more than to hurt and love and feel. It wasn’t her fault- this much he knew. 

“I wouldn’t have told your secret,” she said, breaking him from his thoughts. “I would never put you or Kuina in harm’s way. Even if I was drunk.” I never thought you would.

“I don’t think you’ve outlived your usefulness,” he replied, forcing the too-sweet words from his lips. He needed a buffer, something to protect his walls. “But I don’t plan to risk interacting with those people everytime you have a bad game and make bad choices.” She let out a whisper of a laugh then, and he wondered if he could capture it and play it on repeat.

“Deal,” she agreed, and exhaled whatever tension was still lying within her. He wished he could do the same- wished he could find the comfort in being next to her that he was usually able to, but felt instead like everything was closing in on him. She had broken a barrier (one of many, admittedly.) He had allowed her to. To make matters worse, it almost seemed as though she knew. 

He sat with her a while longer, the battle within him raging on until she made the first move to leave the rooftop. He followed behind her, almost like a lost puppy, utterly exhausted from their conversation. And when she finally left him to find her own room, he watched her part until she had disappeared into a different hallway, wondering to himself if she knew how much it hurt to see her walk away. The rest of the night, he struggled to find sleep, thinking instead of all the ways that she would use this newfound information to hurt him. He wanted to believe she would be different- that she would prove him wrong. But as his fatigue finally got the best of him, he could only dream his usual dream of hateful eyes and hateful words: 

“Fuck off, Chishiya.”

#aib chishiya #chishiya alice in borderland #chishiya headcanons #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya x reader #chishiya x y/n #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya fic #chishiya fanfic #chishiya x you #chishiya x fem!reader

[quakenshake]

Hi! I wanted to let you know that your headcanons are the best. You describe Chishia exactly as I see him and it warms my heart to be honest. Thank you for your efforts♥️

This is seriously so kind of you?? 😭 Thank you so much, you've made my day ❤

#aib chishiya #chishiya alice in borderland #chishiya headcanons #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya x reader #chishiya x y/n #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya fic #chishiya fanfic #chishiya x you

[quakenshake]

Dating Chishiya Would Include Pt. 2

Hi, guys! I still have to do the second part of 'The Next Day', but wanted to squeeze this in beforehand. In the first part of Dating Chishiya, I focused on love languages, so with this one, I decided to do the alphabet! (Or half of it, anyways lol...) I will likely finish the rest of the alphabet at a later date, but hopefully, this will tide you guys over for now. As always, let me know if you have any requests! -S

A = Affection

Chishiya has never been comfortable with excessive affection. Truthfully, anything more than the occasional half-second hug is entirely new to him, giving him a feeling which he assumes to be dislike. But as your bond and trust grow, he begins to finally feel safe with giving and receiving affection. Once this barrier is crossed, he’s much more open to exploring things like hand-holding, snuggling, and longer hugs. That being said, he’ll never fully be comfortable with too much PDA, so you can expect most of these moments to happen behind closed doors.

B = Banter

Being that Chishiya is no stranger to sarcasm, you can expect a bit of banter in your relationship. And while his cold demeanor may come across as true annoyance, you know him better- he actually quite enjoys these moments with you. Teasing is a form of love language for him, and he’s happy to have a partner that can keep up with his wit. And, being a master of reading body language, he always knows how to reign it in before things go too far and he accidentally offends you.

C = Curiosity

Chishiya has always been the curious type- from a young age, he found himself drawn to complex questions about the universe, humanity, and most importantly: emotions. Being that he has always struggled to fit in or relate to others, he gained his observant nature by attempting to learn more about those around him. But once your relationship started, his curious nature became focused on you. Oftentimes, you’ll catch him watching you- even if its something seemingly miniscule like folding laundry, reading a book, or making dinner. He seems to soak in each and every decision you make, storing it away in his bank of knowledge about you. Sometimes it borders on unsettling, but you’ve come to enjoy that he pays attention to the details. In his own odd way, it shows how much he cares.

D = Dates

By now, you’ve come to accept that Chishiya will never be the outgoing type. Much preferring the comforts of home, it’s rare that Chishiya initiates venturing outside. For this reason, most of your “dates” take place on the couch, watching a newly released film you’ve both been excited for or playing a far-too-complex boardgame that he insists you’ll enjoy. But as mundane as these moments may seem to an outsider, you’ve learned that the truth is in the details. Sure, he may not treat you to a night on the town…but you’d better believe that he’ll come prepared with your favorite snacks, a comfy blanket to wrap you in, and the look of adoration only a lover could have. After particularly stressful days, he’ll even light a candle or two for you (the really smelly ones that he insists he hates.) And perhaps most telling of all is the fact that he never misses a single one, even with his busy schedule. 

E = Evenings

Given that both of you have busy schedules, your best moments with Chishiya tend to happen in the evenings. With work over and done with, coming home to each other is like a breath of fresh air each time. And while you may not have as much time with each other as you’d like, you both work to make each second count. Whether it’s sharing a dinner and talking about your day, settling in to watch the latest episode of your current tv obsession, or taking a shared bath and melting in each other’s arms, you’re always sure to be there for each other each and every day. It’s a lot of work, sure, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. And for this reason, you’ve come to view the evening as the best part of your day.

F = Flirting

I’m going to be honest…Chishiya is not much of a flirt. He can be witty, charming, and even give you compliments. But to call it flirting would be inaccurate. It’s not for a lack of chemistry between you, but merely because he doesn’t quite understand the point or how to do it. In truth, the thought of being flirtatious seems embarrassing to him- at least, that’s how it feels whenever he sees other people flirting. With that said, you adore flirting with him, mostly due to the way it makes him cringe. It’s your own special form of teasing that he barely tolerates. And if you’re in public? Even better. You’re sure to have him blushing by the time you’ve made it home. And while he’ll never admit it to you, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

G = Gentle

This was already kind of covered in Part 1, but Chishiya is surprisingly gentle when it comes to you. It doesn’t always come naturally to him, but he’s definitely learned to tone down his sarcasm and arrogance when your feelings are involved. He’s also made efforts to pick softer words for you, especially when you’re sad or upset. It’s taken a lot of patience and self-reflection, but he prides himself on being able to provide a comfort to you that he hasn’t quite figured out how to provide to others. And his efforts are definitely returned, with you being his greatest source of comfort as well. In truth, it was through you that he even learned how to be gentle- something he is immensely grateful for.

H = Handmade

When it comes to gift-giving, you both have fallen into a habit of making rather than buying. It started off almost as a running gag, with Chishiya gifting you a hand-crafted puzzle after you complained about your poor memory. You were quick to tease him in return, choosing to write him a list of ‘conversation starters’ after he complained of “overly-friendly coworkers who don’t know how to take a hint.” From there, what started as sarcastic half-gifts slowly formed into ones filled with meaning and love. His gift of a velcro phone attachment (because you always seem to lose yours) slowly morphed into a hand-painted canvas overlooking the bridge and pond at your favorite park. And your gift of a “happy mask” (i.e a paper mask adorning a comically large smile) slowly morphed into a collage of the patients he’s saved. In a sense, these gifts have become a special way of saying ‘I love you.’

I = “I love you”

I imagine that these three words in this sequence are probably one of Chishiya’s biggest fears…at least, when you first started dating. Being new to this, he was likely filled with confusion and doubt about when and why to say it. How could he know if he was really in love? Was he even capable of it? And if he was…how could he know you felt the same? Was there a timeline for these kinds of things? The thought of confessing something so large was likely overwhelming for him. So imagine his surprise when it slips out of his mouth at an ordinary moment, watching an ordinary movie, on an ordinary night with you. At first, he didn’t even catch it; perhaps he’d spent so much time rehearsing in his head that he hadn’t realized it had been said out loud. And when the realization finally set in, it was as if time stopped, only to be restarted when you said it back. From that moment on, those three silly words no longer seemed so scary.

J = Jealousy

Chishiya isn’t an exceptionally jealous person, but he definitely feels it to some degree. He’s not so much bothered by the physical stuff- a coworker hugging you goodbye, a friend standing closer than normal, etc. It’s the emotional stuff that gets him worried; seeing you have close bonds with others sometimes makes him insecure. After all, the only time he’s established a close bond has been with you and Kuina, both of which took a lot of time and trust. And because he treasures these relationships so much, he can’t help but wonder if you feel the same about anyone you have a bond with. Little does he know, he’s the only one on your mind. And whenever you sense these insecurities, they’re easily subdued with a gentle reminder of your love for him.

K = Keepsakes

One part of Chishiya that you weren’t expecting was his knack for hoarding things- in particular, mementos of your relationship. It was something you’d stumbled on by accident when cleaning out his desk, finding a small compartment filled with memories of your time together. A movie ticket from one of the rare times you guys actually went out for a date, a napkin filled with doodles that you’d drawn while out for coffee, a rock from the garden that you’d once pointed out as resembling a heart in shape, etc….each one a small glimpse of the bond you’ve formed together. And as much as seeing it made your heart fill with glee, you were careful to place each item back in its original position so as not to let on that you knew of his little secret. But on nights that he works late and you’re really missing him, pulling out the box of trinkets helps bring you comfort.

L = Letters

Chishiya may not be the  most expressive partner, but this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care. Emotions are still difficult for him to navigate, and expressing himself often makes him feel vulnerable. However, the feelings are still there, and he needs some outlet for them….hence, the letters. It started as an experiment one day, early in your relationship; not quite ready to tell you how he felt about you, Chishiya decided to jot his feelings down in a journal, choosing the format of a letter to you. Originally, he had planned to give the letter to you, but instead chose to push himself to tell you in person. He kept the letter, though, feeling like it was something worth saving. From that moment on, he made it a habit to write you secret letters, never to be mailed. Stored in a top-secret location, he’s sure you’ll never find them. But as the relationship has grown, he’s found that he relies on them less and less, feeling like he can finally express himself to you without feeling so vulnerable. He still writes them, though, as it holds a special place in his heart.

#chishiya headcanons #aib chishiya #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya alice in borderland #chishiya imagine #chishiya fanfic #chishiya fluff #chishiya x y/n #chishiya x reader #chishiya

[quakenshake]

🥺

I'm so sorry for the lack of posts this past week or so....writer's block has been kicking my butt. I promise that I've got more stuff in the works, and plan to post a part 2 to my "Dating Chishiya Would Include" fic tomorrow! I also plan to post the second and final part to my "Drunken Words/& Sober Thoughts/The Next Day" fic hopefully this weekend. Thanks for being patient! -S

#chishiya headcanons #chishiya alice in borderland #aib chishiya #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya x you #chishiya x y/n #chishiya fic #chishiya x reader

[quakenshake]

Prompt: The Next Day

As requested! I will forwarn- there isn't much of Chishiya's past mentioned in this post. However, I do plan on writing yet another part 2 from his perspective, which will hopefully provide more insight. For now, I wanted to give the reader a chance to have her moment! This prompt contains strong language, mentions of violence/death, angsty/depressing themes, and some mild verbal bullying (it's Chishiya- what do you expect?) I hope you enjoy, and as a side note- I do plan on honoring the results of the poll, and releasing a shorter-style fic in the near future! -S

You found him on the rooftop, as you had time and time before. Meeting him there felt natural- instinctual, almost. But as you opened the door to the roof, eyes catching him perched at his usual corner, you felt unease begin to form in your stomach. The sunlight was harsh upon your eyes as you stepped through the doorway; like your own, personal punishment for your actions the night prior. Everything felt like a punishment, lately- the pounding in your skull, the haze-filled memories of drunken words and sober thoughts that danced around your mind. But no punishment seemed greater than the look he held in his eyes when they finally met your own.

It was unlike you to feel so small beneath his gaze. You’d always prided yourself on your ability to meet him so fearlessly, unlike most residents of the Borderlands. Not that you weren’t aware of the darkness that he held…if anything, being his partner in crime made you a witness to more than most. But wariness is far different than fear, and fearing him was almost as foolish as underestimating him. Still, you couldn’t deny that facing him now was like facing a pissed off panther. And unlike all of the other times, you were now the subject of his disapproval. 

Stepping just far enough onto the roof to allow the door to swing shut behind you, you decided it was best to leave some distance between you. You had seen Chishiya when he was annoyed or scheming…even in moments where he resembled an evil genius. But never before had you seen anger behind those stormy eyes. Sure- to an outsider, his expression could probably be passed off as disinterested. But your time with him had allowed you to pick up on the subtleties of his face, and this look was unmistakeable. It was also unknown territory, and you weren’t quite sure how to proceed.

“Hey,” you finally landed on. It wasn’t your best work, but it was the only thought you could muster beneath his gaze. A soft breeze began to pick up, blowing stands of silvery hair across his face and making it impossible to discern if his expression had changed at your greeting. But as they settled once more upon his shoulders, you were met with the same stony look as before. In a moment of defeat, your eyes shifted awkwardly to the ground. When you finally found the courage to look back up, you found he’d turned his gaze away from you and back to the Beach residents partying near the pool below.

“How was your game last night?” he asked.

His voice was unexpected, and made you flinch slightly. It took a moment for his words to register, and when they did, you could only frown. Fiddling with the strings of your jacket, you stepped closer to the rooftop’s edge and followed his gaze to the scene below. The sight was a familiar one- people of varying levels of inebriation and nakedness were packed tightly together, patying (quite literally) like there was no tomorrow. You wondered if you’d looked as foolish as they did.

“Uneventful,” you said finally, voice dry. “People died, as usual.” Next to you, you heard him hum.

“So why did I find you acting so recklessly at the bar?” he asked, still unwilling to look at you. His voice was calm- eerily so- but laced with what you knew was condescension. On another day, you’d be likely to match his level of pettiness. But you recognized the thin ice upon which you stood, and chose to bite your tongue. Instead, you opted for another route- one you were hopeful would steer the conversation away from its current subject.

“Believe it or not, I’m no stranger to drinking,” you said back, hoping your playful tone might lighten the mood. His silence told you that it didn’t. “Besides,” you continued with a sigh. “Aren’t I allowed to be reckless now and then?”

With this, he finally turned back to face you. His eyes bore into your own, forcing your focus on him and him alone. 

“No, you’re not,” he said. “Not if it means I need to come save you.” You turned to face him as well, patience wearing thin.

“You didn’t save me, Chishiya,” you said back. “I was doing just fine without you.” You watched as he cocked his head slightly, a cocky smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.

“Oh really?” he said. You didn’t miss the venom in his words, but it was masked well. 

“Yes, really” you said back, exasperated with the need to defend yourself. “You act like I was surrounded by wolves!”

“And you act like you weren’t,” he retorted, leaning in ever-so-slightly closer. “I’ve always known you were slow, but I never took you for naive.” Jaw clenching, you felt the delicate wall holding back your frustration begin to crack.

“If I’m such an idiot, why bother?” you asked. “Why come save me at all?” He watched your outburst through narrowed eyes. “Isn’t the great Chishiya above charity work?” A false look of amusement spread across his face at your last remark.

“If you think I went there for you, your mistaken,” he said bitterly. “The last thing Kuina and I need is for our plan to be spilled because your an emotional wreck who can’t hold your liquor. Getting you out of there was damage-control, nothing more.” With that, his eyes shifted back to the partiers below, as if to dismiss you.

His words stung more than you wanted to admit. What felt like the threat of tears began to pull at your eyes, and you forced the feeling back down with pure rage. How stupid of you to be caught like this, trapped under the words of a man who thought of you as no more than a chess piece? Feeling your breaths grow uneven, you struggled to contain the sudden onslaught of emotion that pooled in your throat. Look at you, you thought. An emotional wreck, indeed.

“You’re unbelievable, Chishiya,” you finally blurted out. You hated the way your voice trembled; hated the way it was the exact opposite of his. 

“And you’ve outlived your usefulness,” he said back cooly. “Do what you want. Get drunk, do drugs…be exactly like them,” he said, nodding his head to the pool of people below. “But don’t expect me to save someone who can’t even save themself.”

“Oh, I’m perfectly capable of saving myself, Chishiya,” you said through gritted teeth. You tried to ignore the tears which began to form in your eyes. “Why don’t you go ahead and tell me what you heard,” you continued. “I mean, I’m sure the whole Beach knows by now. I’m sure they’re all talking about how I shot that girl.” Your voice seemed to die off as you reached the end of your sentence. Though he didn’t turn to face you, the slightest shift in positioning told you that you’d caught his interest. He remained silent, and you felt as though it was his way of urging you on.

“I put a bullet in her head,” you added, almost unwillingly. It didn’t seem like you were in full control of yourself anymore. Your words were spilling out like a glass filled too full, like tears spilling out of tired eyes. “Didn’t even hesitate. Didn’t think twice.” The breeze picked up again, threatening to drown out your words. “She was in a bear trap, Chishiya.” Your voice was broken now, barely a whisper- pleading, almost.

He turned to face you then, face softer but still reserved. He didn’t speak, instead willing your words forward with his eyes. You let him steal them, soaking in your confessions like a sponge to be used later for god knows what.

“I killed her.” You were near sobbing now. “I fucking killed her.” There was a moment of silence that passed between you. You knew this was a turning point; like a path that split into two, your future with the man was at the mercy of how he’d respond.

“So what?” he said finally, catching you by surprise. You searched his eyes for that familiar chill- for any sign of cruelty- but found nothing. “You’re not special.”

“What?” It was the only thing you could think to say, stumbling out of your mouth as though you were still drunk. 

“Do you think you’re the only one that’s killed? Is that it?” he asked. Still, there was no sign of him being purposefully mean with his words. “There’s not a person here who isn’t stained with blood.”

Ah, you thought. So that’s what this is.

“That’s different,” you muttered, sniffing. 

“So you do think you’re special,” he replied.

“No, you don’t understand-”

“I understand perfectly well,” he interrupted. Deep down, you knew it was true. Still, you fought him on it.

“No, you don’t know everything, Chishiya!”

“I know you.” Once again, his words caught you by surprise. They were uncharacteristically gentle, and you wondered if he’d accidentally let his own confession slip. If he had, he was determined to not acknowledge it. Instead, he continued: 

“I know that you hold yourself to a higher standard than anyone possibly could. You expect yourself to be different- act different- than everyone else, because you think it’s what you’re supposed to do. But that’s the thing- you aren’t supposed to do anything. Your instincts are the same as mine, and Kuina’s, and everyone else’s. Your will to live is the same. So why should you be held to a different standard? Why shouldn’t you have killed her? Was that not the cost of living to see another day? Would she not have chosen the same fate for you?”

He paused for a moment, and you wondered if he was expecting you to answer. If he was, he’d be disappointed. All you could do was blink at him in silence, still sniffing on occasion as your tears began to dry beneath the sunlight. Your breathing had steadied, your heartbeat slowing as you considered his words. On the outside, they seemed cold, heartless even. Each statement went against your instincts. All this time, you’d been fighting to maintain your own sense of humanity in this cruel place, and if his words were true….But you knew that there was warmth in them, too. Even if it was packed deeply beneath the surface, he was trying to convey a point to you- one not meant to hurt you, but to help you.

Suddenly exhausted, you found yourself sinking to the ground, pulling your knees to your chest and resting your back against the ledge of the rooftop. You weren’t sure what you were feeling at that moment; it didn’t seem like sadness, or anger, or even guilt anymore. It just felt…odd. But perhaps most curious was the fact that with everything he had said, there was only one last question on your mind.

“Why didn’t you stay with me?” you muttered, voice cracked from your earlier tears. You didn’t feel the need to clarify, and he didn’t feel the need to ask for clarification. You knew that he understood, even if his prolonged hesitation suggested he didn’t. “I told you mine, now you tell me yours,” you pressed. Secrets- the most valuable currency in the Borderlands. You heard him sigh as he settled down beside you, still careful to keep some distance between you two.

“You were drunk,” he offered. “And broken. It wasn’t my place to stay.” Liar.

“I needed you,” you whispered. The words weren’t as accusatory as you wanted them to be. Just sad.

“I know,” he answered, and you thought you heard an equal sadness. You both sat in silence for several more seconds, staring at anything but each other. By now, the sun had started to fall from its place in the sky, brilliant shades of amber and coral beginning to emerge on the horizon. You thought briefly about how beautiful it looked, as though it were hand-painted for this moment.

“I wouldn’t have told your secret,” you said eventually. “I would never put you or Kuina in harm’s way. Even if I was drunk.” He hummed in response, eyes lost in the sky.

“I don’t think you’ve outlived your usefulness,” he murmured. Strangely enough, it was one of the sweeter things he’d said to you. But before you could bask in it, his eyes slid over to find your own. “But I don’t plan to risk interacting with those people everytime you have a bad game and make bad choices.” You huffed out a gentle laugh at this, though you knew he was being entirely serious.

“Deal,” you said softly. Letting out a content sigh, you breathed in the calmer air and allowed your eyes to flutter shut. The tension wasn’t all gone yet, but it was lighter now. There’d been a breakthrough, if only a small one. Internally, it felt like you had run a marathon. But there was a peacefulness to it, and you let that feeling envelop you. As the evening drew on, you and Chishiya continued to sit in a comfortable silence, finding solace in one another’s company. And when you both eventually parted to your respective rooms, you drifted to sleep feeling as though you’d managed to break through one of his many barriers that day. You only hoped that it wouldn’t come back to bite you in the end.

#chishiya headcanons #chishiya alice in borderland #aib chishiya #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya fanfic #chishiya x y/n #chishiya fic #chishiya x you #chishiya x reader #chishiya x fem!reader #alice in borderland #chishiya imagine #chishiya angst #chishiya aib

[quakenshake]

I loved how you did both readers and chishiyas pov. Is there a chance for a part 3. Like the day after. All good if not I just like people talking about chishiyas past other than being a med student.

Aww, thank you so much! And yes, I love that idea! Hopefully I will have this done in the next few days 😊

[quakenshake]

Feedback? :)

[quakenshake]

& Sober Thoughts

I couldn't stop thinking about rewriting my last prompt but from Chishya's perspective...so here is the unofficial Part 2 to "Drunken Words". This one isn't quite as dark as the last one but is still quite angsty. Similarly, there are also mentions of alcohol, violence, past/childhood trauma (vaguely, nothing too detailed), and strong language. Also, I should mention that, unlike the others, this prompt specifically addresses the reader as having she/her pronouns. This is my first time attempting to write from Chishiya's perspective...I hope I did him justice (and please don't judge too harshly.) Once again, I would really love any other prompt ideas/suggestions! -S

Something was wrong. Call it superstitious, but he could feel it in the air. If he were more sentimental, he might even say he could feel it in his heart. But he was not, in fact, sentimental. He was merely observant, a skill that earned him a seemingly continuous stay in these lands. And his observations these past few hours led him to one thought: something was wrong.

He hadn’t seen her nearly all day. This alone wasn’t cause for concern; it was typical of her to disappear on days when her visa ran dry. Anyone could tell that game days caused a great deal of stress for the woman, even those who possessed weaker observational skills than his own. On days like this she was moody, distant….cold, even. It reminded him of himself, which was why he’d been perfectly content to leave her to her solitude. No, it wasn’t her absence this throughout the day that perturbed him. It was her continued absence, even after the others from her game had returned.

She was still alive, that much he had discerned. There had been some doubt when he’d overheard talk of a girl dying in the game, but passing gossip quickly uncovered the victim as another Beach resident named Hana. Caught in a bear trap and finished off with a bullet- presumably one fired off by another player, from the sounds of it. Aside from that, there was no talk of any other deceased. So where was she?

Most game days, she would return to him almost immediately. He couldn’t tell if his presence brought her comfort or not, but either way she would seek him out- usually in a better mood than when she’d left. Whether it was to discuss their plan to steal the cards or simply to shoot dry remarks at one another until they grew tired, he could always count on her eventual company. So as the hours ticked on without her, he found himself growing restless. Restless, not worried. He was not sentimental.

All said and done, it didn’t take long for his curiosity to win him over. If he had to assign any flaw to himself, it would be his own curiosity. “Like a cat!” she would tease, usually earning her his undivided annoyance. She had a habit of annoying him, and he had a habit of craving it (which, in itself, was cause for annoyance.) So really, it should be no surprise that her absence was a bother to him. 

With his mind set on finding her, it didn’t take long to pinpoint her location. Not to say that she didn’t make it difficult for him, of course. With her, everything was difficult. Forced to weave between sweaty, half-naked bodies, he found his head swirling with the stench of alcohol by the time he’d set sights on her. Tucked near the outdoor bar, his cause for annoyance was unmistakably wasted. Annoying, indeed.

“Y/n,” he said once he was near enough for her to hear. Slowly, and with what looked to be considerable concentration, she turned to face him. He didn’t miss the way she wavered in her seat. Her eyes, half-lidded and slightly furrowed at the sight of him, stared into his own with what he could only guess to be frustration. There was a sour look on her face, and he didn’t think it was due to the alcohol. 

“Chishiya,” she said back, drawn-out and slurred. As soon as she’d said it, her brows had furrowed even more, as if to kick herself for revealing the state she was in. Idiot, he thought in amusement, though he knew his face maintained its cool composure. The whole Beach can tell you’re drunk. He watched her frustration grow to a peak before she spun back around haphazardly to face the bar. Quirking a brow, he listened to her attempt to order another drink. His eyes shot quickly to the pile of empty glasses building up beside her. Next, to the bartender, who seemed conflicted by her request. 

He watched the poor man glance between them both, his eyes landing on Chishiya as though to ask “Should I give her more?” Chishiya pondered the question, himself. On one hand, he was immensely intrigued by the girl’s inebriated state. He’d never before seen her so vulnerable, and the darker side of him recognized the opportunity to observe her with her guard down. Plus, he couldn’t deny his own amusement in seeing her this way. But the other, more rational side recognized that he wasn’t the only observer to lurk within the Beach. There would be others who’d recognize her vulnerability, most with intentions far darker than his own. The image of a particularly sadistic militant flashed in his mind, and with that it was decided. Giving the bartender a pointed glare accompanied by a brisk shake of his head, Chishiya severed her flow of alcohol.

Still facing away from him, the girl let out an exaggerated huff as the bartender feebly wandered away from them. He could picture her eyes rolling dramatically.

“It’s rude to cancel another person’s order,” she grumbled. There it was- that dry banter that he’d been craving all night. He hadn’t realized how much he’d been looking forward to it. 

“No more rude than drinking the bar out of stock,” he replied, stepping forward. “Perhaps you never learned to share.” He pulled the seat out from next to her before taking a seat of his own. From this distance, he could smell the alcohol drifting off of her in waves. The stench reminded him again of their location, and he found himself glancing warily at the other residents surrounding them. No stranger to alcohol themselves, he watched as their bodies swayed clumsily around and against one another, lost in the high of…well, he’d never been sure, really. He could only imagine it to be a high, though, as that was the only explanation for acting so recklessly in a place like this. He wondered, then, if she had come here for her own high.

“I’m fine,” she said suddenly, breaking him from her thoughts. He turned to look at her then, and when he met her eyes he saw something that he hadn’t noticed before: pain. With that single observation, the situation no longer held any amusement for him. Blinking at her, he chose his next words carefully.

“I never said you weren’t,” is what he landed on. Instantly, he recognized them to be the wrong choice. Her gaze, which moments ago held some level of softness, grew venomous.

“Fuck off, Chishiya.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d had somebody direct such hatred at him. In fact, the sting behind her words held a familiar burn which hit close to home. But unlike her, he’d never be so foolish as to show weakness in a place like this- or any place, for that matter. So he called forth the mask that had saved him countless times before, allowing her anger to glide off of him rather than pierce his skin. 

“It’s time to leave,” he said quietly, urging the words out before he could change his mind and walk away from her forever. He could tell that she wanted to fight him on this, and he wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t let her win if she did. So before she could speak, he offered her his hand. He watched the ice in her eyes melt ever so slightly, only to be replaced with something that looked oddly like desperation. In that moment, he was reminded of why he’d come in the first place.

Tentatively, she took the hand he’d offered her, linking her fingers with his own almost on instinct. Tugging her gently to her feet, he began to guide her away from prying eyes. He willed himself to move slowly enough for her to keep up in her condition, though he was desperate to put as much distance between himself and those people as he could. When they finally reached the entrance to the hotel, he began to feel his heart return to its normal rate.

Somewhere along the line, she’d begun to cry. He didn’t know if she was naturally a silent crier, or if she’d been smart enough to muffle her noise, but either way he was grateful for it. He’d never known how to react to people crying, and for some reason the sight of her crying made him even more uncomfortable than usual. So instead, he chose to ignore it, and was pleased that it had ended by the time they reached her room.

Once she’d steadied herself against a wall, he pulled his hand briefly from her own in order to open the door. As soon as it opened, his hand found her own again. Guiding her to her bed, he watched as her body crumbled onto the sheets. She had pulled herself into a ball in a way that resembled a child, eyes still red from the earlier tears. Unable to meet her gaze, he opted instead to sit beside her, facing toward the wall.

“I want you to stay with me.” 

He wasn’t surprised by her words, which were now laced with fatigue. He’d thought about it the entire way back to her room. He hadn’t been able to think of anything but the pain he’d seen on her face back at the bar. She’d always been an open book to him, wearing her emotions like clothing. But that level of pain had never shown in her eyes before, and it bothered him more than he’d like to admit. He wasn’t sure what the cause for it was, or why she’d spilled so many tears, but he knew right away that he never wanted to see her like that again. 

But then, he also couldn’t forget her words. “Fuck off, Chishiya.” He knew that his presence was not always a welcome one for her. On more than one occasion, she’d let him know how stubborn and heartless she found him, and it had always been amusing. But the hatred behind her words tonight was another foreign side of her that he hadn’t yet uncovered, and he wasn’t sure if it could all be blamed on the alcohol. And as he remembered the look she’d given him- the look he’d grown all too familiar with as a child- he felt his heart harden once more.

Standing up from her bed, he paused only for a moment before making his way to her door. He felt her eyes burning into him as he walked, and he willed himself not to turn around. If he met them again- if he saw that pain again- he wasn’t sure he’d be able to leave her. And for his own sake, he needed to leave her. So he only paused once more at her door, not allowing himself to face her fully.

“Sleep on your side,” he muttered, his voice devoid of any emotion. It was all he had left to offer before leaving.

#chishiya headcanons #chishiya alice in borderland #aib chishiya #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya angst #chishiya x fem!reader #chishiya x y/n #chishiya x reader #chishiya x you #chishiya fanfic #chishiya fic #aib #alice in borderland

[quakenshake]

Prompt: Drunken Words

Hi, guys! I’ve always wondered how Chishiya would react to drunk people/a drunk reader, so I thought I’d give it a go. I do want to warn you: this one is quite angsty, and gets a bit dark. There are mentions of violence, death, alcohol, self harm/suicidal ideation, strong language, etc. Please use caution if you are sensitive to any of these themes! Hope you guys enjoy, and please do let me know of any requests! I’m wondering if I should do another version of this, but from his perspective? Let me know if that sounds interesting! - S

It wasn’t your intention to get drunk; but then again, it hadn’t been your intention to kill anyone, either. When in Rome, right? It was all survival, anyways. If poisoning your blood with alcohol meant you could go another night without putting a bullet through your skull, then really…it was no different from the bullets you’d lodged into that girl’s body. A life for a life. What was it he’d told you? “To gain something, you need to lose something.”  If you thought about it that way, then alcoholism seemed like a pretty good trade for your sanity.

The taste of the drink was disgustingly sour, and it burned its way through your body as you swallowed with a grimmace. There was a comfort to the pain, though. It was real, and it brought you to the present moment, and it hurt far less than the memory of what you’d done not three hours prior. What had her name been? Hana? Haru? Pathetic. You took another swig, willing yourself to succumb to the fog that was slowly filling your head. 

That was the true beauty of alcohol- not the fruity taste, or the pretty colors, or the cute little umbrella that the bartender had added. The beauty was held in the moral ambiguity that it allowed. If you thought long enough about it, you supposed that was probably what drew everyone to the Beach- what drew them to the Borderlands in general. Your mind flashed to Niragi, the Beach’s very own boogeyman. More animal than human, driven on impulse and hormones, every bit of which was allowed in a place like this. The Borderlands suited him well, and you began to wonder if it could maybe suit you, too. Niragi doesn’t feel guilt, you thought. But I’ll be damned if he doesn’t know how to shoot. You threw back another swig to drown out the thought before it could form into a dangerous path.

Before long, your glass was empty, pushed to the side to join the three other glasses you’d collected so far. You could feel the bartender’s eyes flash in your direction, and you didn’t have to look up to know what he was thinking. You were drinking too much, too fast, and too openly. You were making yourself vulnerable, something you’d sworn never to do. In fact, it was something you had ridiculed the rest of the Beach residents for, scoffing at their willingness to let down their guards in a place like this. But that was just the thing-- you didn’t want your guard let down, you wanted it fucking destroyed. 

This place might seem like a perpetual nightclub on the outside, but you knew damn well the horrors that lay within. The secrets, the lies, the monsters. This was no safehaven, no utopia, and anyone who treated it as such was a fool. But you were in pain, and the alcohol was supposed to remedy things like pain. Besides- if some monster were to find you like this, defenseless and impaired, would it really be so bad? Your mind wandered to the girl…that damn girl. She had been defenseless. She had been impaired. It didn’t stop you, did it? Caught in a beartrap, pleading for her life, and you’d shot her all the same just so you could go back and drink yourself to death.

“Y/n,” came a voice from behind.

Ah, you thought. So a monster has found me. You turned to face him, finding with a start that it was more difficult to stay balanced in your seat than before. Like a moth to a flame, your eyes found his own- deep and dark, and maddeningly blank. A part of you hated that he’d been the one to find you like this, but the other part of you- a part pulled to the surface by the alcohol, you presumed- soaked up his presence like soil soaking up water after a drought. 

“Chishiya,” you replied. Your voice slurred in a way that enraged you. Never before had you felt so foolish, so weak. You braced yourself for the snarky comment he was sure to fire your way. Ever the opportunist, you knew he wouldn’t be able to resist the chance to bathe in arrogance. But the comment never left his mouth, and his eyes never betrayed his thoughts. He was so unlike you- so composed. It made you hate him all the more.

No longer able to look at him, you clumsily spun back around to face the bar. Lifting a hand into the air to wave down the bartender, you nodded toward your ever-growing pile of empty glasses.

“Another,” you said simply. The bartender hesitated, glancing between you and your unwelcome guest. After what you’re sure was a warning glare from Chishiya, the bartender cleared his throat awkwardly before spinning away to tend to the other Beach residents. Annoyed, you rolled your eyes dramatically and let out a huff to blow the hair away from your face.

“It’s rude to cancel another person’s order,” you grumbled, half-sure that he hadn’t been able to hear. Of course, he had. 

“No more rude than drinking the bar out of stock,” he retorted with amusement. “Perhaps you never learned to share.” Pulling the chair out from beside you, he took a seat. You were surprised by his decision to stay, knowing full well that this was entirely not his scene. Finding the courage to spare him a glance, you found his eyes darting warily between the intoxicated bodies dancing not too far away. He was out of his element, and you took that as a win. If you had to be drunk and miserable, then the least he could do was be a little uncomfortable. 

“I’m fine,” you said suddenly. You weren’t quite sure why you’d said it. You knew he didn’t care, and you were certain that you didn’t care. Perhaps it was simply the thing to say in moments like this, when one is caught like a wounded animal. Drawing his eyes back to your own, Chishiya blinked at you.

“I never said you weren’t.”

He hadn’t. And it wasn’t fair to accuse him as such. But there was something in his eyes- whether you were imagining it, you weren’t quite sure- that almost looked like pity. And he could not pity you. In the short time you’d known the man, there were several things you’d wanted to receive from him- partnership, companionship…hell, maybe even feelings. But never his pity. So you resented his presence regardless.

“Fuck off, Chishiya,” you said darkly. The poison from the alcohol must have kicked in somewhere along the way, because you could have sworn that your words were dipped in venom. But the man had leather for skin, and your words were brushed off within seconds. Instead, he continued to gaze at you with those stupid eyes of his. Those stupid, beautiful eyes.

“It’s time to leave,” he said after a moment. You wanted to hate how gentle his tone was- wanted to accuse him, again, of pitying you. But his words wrapped around your aching heart like a hug, chipping through the ice with their warmth. You pondered for a moment if it was worth it to put up a fight. It was what you wanted to do, after all. You wanted nothing more than to shout at him, cut down his ego and sever whatever this thing was between you for good. It could be easier that way. It could be what you deserved. 

But then he held out a hand for you to take, and suddenly it didn’t matter what you wanted, but instead what you needed. He wouldn’t be like the alcohol; he wouldn’t burn you to make you feel, he wouldn’t drown out the memories of that poor girl, and he wouldn’t allow your morals to crumble like Niragi. He didn’t come in fruity flavors, bright colors, or with a cute little umbrella. But he was warm in a way alcohol could never be, and right now, he was the only thing capable of numbing the pain, even just a little. You needed him. 

Taking his palm with your own, you let him pull you to your feet. Thankfully, the sky had long grown dark, and the crowd of people dancing around you provided discretion as the two of you weaved your way back into the hotel. You weren’t sure when the tears had started to fall, but if Chishiya had noticed, he had been kind enough not to mention it. You scrubbed at them furiously with your sleeve, desperate to remove their stain before they could be seen. By the time you reached your room, you seemed almost half put-together. 

Resting your head against the wall outside of your room, you waited patiently for Chishiya to open the door. He did so silently and with ease before turning back to you and taking your hand once more. It was brief, but for a second he held your eyes with his own. There was no pity there like you had feared before, but something deeper and more understanding. He guided you through the doorway and to your bed, where you collapsed into a ball. Sitting next to you, Chishiya’s hands found their way back to their favorite place in his pockets as he stared ahead quietly at the wall.

“I want you to stay with me,” you whispered into your pillow. By now, the adrenaline had run its course through your body and been replaced with a heavy fatigue. You found yourself struggling to keep your eyes open, but you were determined not to fall asleep just yet. A few moments passed before he responded to you, and you began to wonder if he hadn’t heard.

“I know,” he said finally. Still turned away from you, it was impossible to see the expression on his face. Not that there would ever be much to see. He seemed lost in thought, breathing slowly with his eyes still burning into the wall. You wondered if he was calculating his next decision. Everything seemed like a game of chess to him- no choice could be made without deliberation and intent. You wondered if you’d ever get to see him relaxed, maybe somewhere outside of the Borderlands. You wondered if he ever was relaxed. The thought made you horribly sad, and you craved to have his hand in your own again. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he made his move.

Rising from his position, he paused only for a moment before heading toward your door. You watched through half-lidded eyes as he parted, willing him back with each step he took. I guess he does burn like alcohol, you thought with bitter amusement. Once he reached the door, he paused once more, turning his head slightly. It was not enough for you to be able to see his face, just enough to send the message he was regarding you.

“Sleep on your side,” he said. With that, he opened your door and disappeared into the hallway.

#chishiya headcanons #aib chishiya #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya alice in borderland #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya fanfic #chishiya imagine #chishiya x reader #chishiya fic #chishiya x y/n #chishiya aib #chishiya angst #chishiya x gender neutral reader #chishiya x gn reader #chishiya x you #alice in borderland #aib

[quakenshake]

Prompt: Hold Me Tender

In which a sleepy Chishiya somehow finds his way to your room at the Beach after a particularly rough game…

It was unusual to find any quiet at the Beach. To do so, one must sacrifice something very important…sleep. Though you couldn’t quite count it as a sacrifice in your case, as it was entirely nonconsensual. Who knew that in a world plagued with death and betrayal, your biggest foe to date would be insomnia? It could almost be considered amusing, were it not for the fatigue that stung at your eyes and made your stomach feel uneasy. You didn’t have to look at the clock to tell that it was well past midnight, and you knew that with your visa expiring tomorrow, it was crucial to succumb to unconsciousness. If only your stupid brain would cooperate.

It wouldn’t take a genius to determine the cause for your unrest- your anxiety always seemed to spike to new highs when he left you to play a game. At first, you could find the odd excuse for your increased dread and lack of sleep; you’d eaten too much that night, or you’d gotten too much sleep the night before. Once, you managed to convince yourself that your heightened anxiety was caused by ghosts, malevalent entities wandering unseen throughout the hotel. What a night that’d been. But tonight, you could only sigh with the eventual acceptance that you were worried about him.

So far, you’d done a fairly good job at hiding your budding feelings for your mysterious…friend? Acquaintence? You still weren’t quite sure what to label it, especially now that your feelings were evolving again. But your discretion would only get you so far in this place, and you knew in your heart that the first person to figure them out would be the last one you wanted to know. He was clever that way, and just cruel enough to act on it.

“Why did it have to be you?” you found yourself murmuring aloud, the raspiness in your voice reflecting the weariness in your heart. Of the dozens of people residing at the Beach, you’d somehow managed to fall face-first into feelings for the one who was as likely to kill you as he was to even glance in your direction. It was a truth that you tried desperately to shove into the pits of your stomach, but it somehow burned its way out each time you allowed yourself to imagine, even for a second, that your feelings might be returned. He was colder than most people realized, and capable of betrayals that you’d rather not think about. You weren’t entirely convinced that he had emotions at all, so hoping for love felt as unobtainable as hoping to wake up tomorrow back in the real world.

Sighing once more, you shifted your position in bed for what must have been the millionth time that night. The air was hot and thick with humidity, but you found comfort in pulling the sheets up to cradle your face anyways. Besides, you’d long ago accepted that your insomnia had won its battle. What was a little more discomfort if it meant another distraction from him? At that thought, an abrupt but dull noise made you jerk your head in surprise. Turning your head to the door, you realized that it was a soft but persistent knocking.

You frowned at the realization, digging your hand under your pillow to pull out the letter-opener which you’d stashed weeks ago in precaution. Chishiya was not the only danger residing in these hallways. Slipping the blade into the pocket of some pajama shorts you’d smuggled, you took cautious steps toward the door. The knocking had since ceased, but the shadows peering from the crack at the bottom of the door were evidence of the person’s lingering presence. Hand still wrapped tightly around your weapon, you tentatively turned the doorknob and pulled it open just enough to peek through the opening.

In a kinder world, his presence may have been a sense of relief. But seeing Chishiya on the other side of the door, dark and tired eyes baring deeply into your own, you found your grip on the letter-opener tightening. You wished you could ignore the pull in your heart- the faint but throbbing glee at seeing him there, alive, before you. But feelings aside, you were still able to recognize him as the threat that he was. It was a moment before you found your words, instead watching him blankly for a few seconds more.

“Chishiya,” you whispered finally. Your eyebrows had furrowed, partly in confusion and partly in worry. “What are you doing here?”

He paused for a moment, and you could have sworn that you saw his eyes widen briefly. If they did, it was only for a split second. Instead, he gave you a slight tilt of his head in a strange greeting before lightly clearing his throat.

“Could I come in?” he asked. 

It didn’t escape you that he had evaded your question, but this was something that you found to be typical for the man. He wasn’t one to give away secrets easily, and for some strange reason, everything was a secret to him. You worried your lower lip between your teeth, considering his request. Sure, he had been in your room before, mostly to discuss strategies and tinker with the odd invention. But never before had he arrived so late, and never in such an odd state. 

Deciding eventually that it would be weird for him to kill you after being out so late in a game, you gave a small nod and opened the door wider. It didn’t seem lost on him that you’d been hesitant to accept his presence, and you knew from the slight uptick of his lips that this thought amused him. He had learned very quickly in your relationship that you didn’t fully trust him, and at times it seemed he admired you for it. And as you eyed the hands that he had stuffed, as usual, within his pockets, he pulled them out and waved them, empty, in the air. You relaxed slightly at the gesture, surprised he would even care to offer you that white flag.

“You?” he asked, eyeing your own pocket-stuffed hands. You cleared your throat awkwardly as you pulled them out, revealing the letter-opener for him to eye with an arched eyebrow. You gave him a glance as though to apologize, but he simply offered you a genuinely amused grin. “Smart,” he muttered, and it made your heart buzz. 

“Care to explain why you woke me up?” you said, forcing an accusatory tone to your voice. It rolled off of him like butter, and he blinked at you stupidly.

“You weren’t asleep,” he said simply. This time, it was your turn to arch a brow.

“Your eyes are too bright, and your voice too stable,” he offered. “I’ve seen you after you’ve just woken up, and this isn’t one of those times.”

Choosing not to entertain his usual cockiness, you decided instead to slump onto your bed, rubbing a shoulder and rolling your neck to relieve some tension.

“Okay, fine,” you said, giving him a glare to show your disapproval. Asleep or not, you were in no mood to be condescended. “Care to explain why you’ve bothered me while I’m trying to sleep?”

To your surprise, Chishiya once again hesitated before speaking. It was unlike him. Sure, he was a man of few words who liked to cherry-pick what he’d say before opening his mouth, but it was never due to hesitancy. If anything, his pauses were always timed to perfection to emphasize a point or increase tension. Now, it seemed…nervous. In fact, Chishiya overall seemed different from his usual self. Before, you had chocked his appearance up to his own fatigue. He must have just come back from his game, and you were sure that it had to have been a rough one given his late return. But now, you began to wonder if the crinkles beneath his eyes- the slight give in his stance- were due to something other than being tired. If you didn’t know better, you’d almost say that there was a pained look lying in the cracks of his cool expression.

Eventually the silence grew to an unbearable point of awkwardness, and you shifted slightly in your spot, increasing the amount of room beside you on the bed. Chishiya only stared at your movements as though unsure of what they meant. Giving a faint roll of your eyes, you patted next to you with one hand.

“Sit next to me?” you asked. It was a bold move, sure. And in a better-rested state, you’re sure it was one you’d have never made. But your mind was bogged with exhaustion, and your heart was too tired to put up a fight. So instead you waited patiently as the gears turned in his head to catch up with what you were asking of him. The moment realization hit him was painfully amusing and you cherished the look of surprise that overcame his features. To see him so defenseless…unmasked…it was a treat that made you almost thankful for your insomnia.

Wordlessly, Chishiya took careful steps before positioning himself beside you. His eyes were trained forward and away from your own in a deep focus, and for some reason it brought back the memory of when you’d found a snake in your garden as a child. ‘It’s more afraid of you than you are of it, you know!’ It had been difficult to believe your parents’ words then, but it resonated so clearly with you now.

“As much as I enjoy the silence, you know that you’ll have to tell me eventually, right?” you finally stated, words surprisingly gentle. You watched his eyes lower to the floor as he swallowed thickly. You wanted so dearly to be patient with him; it was in your nature to tend to wounded animals, and it was clear to you now that that was what he had come to you as. But this was different- he was unknown territory, even for you, and you were worried that if you didn’t seize this moment to explore this side of him, it would soon be gone forever. You were debating repeating your words or maybe even giving up altogether when he muttered something under his breath.

“What?” you asked him. His eyes were still glued to their place on your floor, body tense as though he were holding his breath.

“Can you…hold me?” he repeated louder this time.

You blinked at him once, twice, three times. Surely you’d misheard? Your breath was hitched in your throat, all thoughts suddenly abandoning your mind. Could this be a trick? Could he have really come to kill you, and this was just a strange way to make yourself vulnerable to him? Your heart raced as the possibilities flitted through your mind at lightning speeds, each one darker and more frightening. The whole thing was dizzying, and you wondered for a moment if you would ever recover. But, evil as he is, he decided to surprise you one last time that night.

“Please?” he asked. His eyes had swooped over to your own now, and the pleading look in them was enough to dispel each of your previous theories, one by one. Right now, it didn’t matter to you if it was a trick. Before you could even move to wrap your arms around him, your heart had decided it for you- right then, right there, your only goal was to cling to this moment. To cling to him- or at least this version of him that had somehow wound up at your door that night.

You found his body to still be stiff as you encompassed him with your own, but it began to relax with each passing breath. You hadn’t realized quite how tightly wound he’d been; from an outsider’s perspective, there had still been an ounce of composure to him. But now, you could feel how frail it all was. Not just him, but the him he wanted you and the rest of the world to see. With him in your arms, you realized now that it was all hanging by a thin string, dangling in the grasps of the Borderlands. With this realization, you held him a little tighter, nuzzling your face against his shoulder.

Your movements were deliberately slow, as you wanted to be sure he was comfortable. As new as you were to all of this, you knew that he had to have been even less experienced, and you didn’t want to overwhelm him. But as the moments passed on, you were both able to relax enough to lie down and fully embrace one another. Your cheeks warmed when he eventually chose to pull you even more tightly to him, seeming to finally accept your presence in full. You returned the gesture by drawing small circles into his back with your palm, earning you the softest of sighs into your ear.

No more words were spoken that night, which was fine by you. Any desire you’d had for an explanation before was now long gone, replaced by the sole intention to comfort him. You didn’t know what internal wounds he possessed, but you wanted to tend to as many as you could, and you knew that whatever this was would likely disappear with the morning light. Instead, you continued to hold him through the night, feeling his breathing deepen once he finally slipped into dreams. And for the first time in your life, you said a silent ‘thank you’ to the insomnia which had plagued you earlier before drifting into your own slumber.

I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I did! I took a long break from writing due to strep throat, but I think this is a nice way to ease myself back in. I'd really love to keep working with Chishiya's character, so if anyone has any ideas for future prompts, let me know! <3

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[quakenshake]

Prompt: First Encounter with Chishiya

I wanted to try my hand at an actual prompt...I think it turned out well! Please let me know if you have any suggestions 😊

The night had grown cold, a sharp contrast to what the day had previously been. The world above was painted with a million stars, the moon tucked gently between distant clouds. Somewhere beyond the borders of the Beach, you could hear crickets erupting into song- a pleasant lullaby that offered glimpses of comfort in an otherwise unforgiving world. Staring up into the void of the night sky, you could almost pretend that you were somewhere far away from the Borderlands, perhaps even back home. Letting out a hope-filled sigh, you nuzzled deeper into the oversized sweater which protected you from the growing winds and allowed your eyes to flutter shut.

The sound of a door creaking open pulled your attention away from fantasy-filled thoughts and back into your grim reality. You couldn’t help but to jump at the noise; even before the Borderlands, you had been sensitive to sudden noises. Now, with over a dozen games under your belt and countless deaths stored in your memory, the dropping of a pin was enough to make you startle. Nowhere is safe. The thought played over and over again in your mind, whether you were conscious of it or not. Perhaps it was this thought that had kept you alive so far.

Spinning around to face the noise, you found yourself trapped in the gaze of a person you’d never expected to run into. Sure, you’d seen him around- signature white hoodie pulled over silvery locks, an unreadable expression plastered against a strikingly handsome face. Chishya, you thought, digging through your mind to place a name to said face. Yes, that’s it. To your understanding, he was one of the Beach’s executives. And yet, you’d never found his demeanor to match his title. Such importance brought to mind a person more akin to Niragi- bold, demanding, and impossible to miss. Chishiya, on the other hand, might as well have been the resident ghost of the Beach, oftentimes seen only in brief glimpses before vanishing altogether. 

Yes, you were surprised to cross paths with him. Deciding to seize the opportunity, you allowed your eyes to trail his figure. It was rare to encounter him so close, and you had to admit- he was intriguing. Even if you hadn’t given it much thought, there was an air of mystery to him that pulled you in with each glimpse of him. And now, being only a few yards away, you wanted to uncover as much of the mystery as you could. 

You’d already known he was on the shorter side, but now you were able to estimate him to be around the same height as yourself. But what he lacked in size he more than made up for in confidence. His posture was cool and collected, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket as he faced you fully and unapologetically. His face wore a mask of boredom, but his eyes- secrets always lie in the eyes- were calculating. In the few seconds you’d been staring at each other, you had no doubt he’d already come to a conclusion about you. You could practically see the gears in his head turning at lightning speed, racing to dissect you completely without lifting so much as a finger. Beneath his eyes, what started off as curiosity began to fade into unease. Now more than ever, you were sure that he was a force to be reckoned with.

In the game of predator and prey, time is precious. There is a brief moment- one so fast, you might miss it if you blink- where a mouse might escape the cat, if only it moves quick enough. Once this moment has come to completion, so too has the mouse’s fate. If you were smarter, perhaps you’d have seized your moment. But you were new to being a mouse, and he was far too familiar with being a cat- and so you had no choice but to be prey to his gaze. 

As quickly as he’d appeared, the Beach’s ghost turned and vanished, letting the door creak shut behind him and leaving you plastered to your spot on the roof. It was a brief interaction (if you could call it that), but your gut recognized it for exactly what it was: a shift. He had read you completely in that moment, undressing your mind until it was left bare, and you were certain that things would never be the same again. You weren’t sure how exactly you would fit into his puzzle, but you knew now that that was what you were- that was what he’d made you: a puzzle piece. You could only hope that maybe, just maybe- the cat would show mercy to the mouse.

#chishiya x y/n #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya fic #chishiya x reader #chishiya headcanons #aib chishiya #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya alice in borderland #alice in borderland

[quakenshake]

Dating Chishiya Would Include

Current obsession lol. Not used to doing things like this, so please be kind! Let me know if you'd like more like this.

Like all the best romances, this one takes time to form, creeping up on both parties before bursting to life. In the beginning, it can feel almost nauseating- the tension, confusion, and denial all fighting for control. At times, it may even feel unobtainable. And you can absolutely expect some resistance, especially as it first takes hold. But with proper care, you both learn to nurture the tiny spark into a roaring flame that seems to defy the Borderlands, itself. And while it may shock and confound those around you, it has the stability and warmth of a match molded by the divine.

Chishiya’s love is unexpectedly gentle, though it may take a while to reach this point. When the initial doubt and fear begin to fade, it is soon replaced with his own unique comfort. This mostly shines through in the form of subtleties and can be easily missed by the untrained eye. Take, for instance, the things he says. Being a man of few words, Chishiya carefully forms each of his sentences before opening his mouth. So as your love blossoms, you can be sure that there is intention in how he speaks. Perhaps you pick up on softer words or more soothing tones, oftentimes giving you a glimpse behind his otherwise cool composure. These are, of course, reserved just for you.

Love language: acts of service. It isn’t uncommon for him to perform little chores for you, generally without being asked. Whether it be tidying your shared space, fixing tasty albeit simple meals for you, or reminding you of important deadlines and dates, his small actions prove that you are almost always on his mind. In fact, being the ever-observant man he is, it may feel at times as though he is more in-tuned with your life than you are. More than once, he has surprised you with a glass of water before you even realized you were thirsty, or had an extra lunch set aside on mornings that you accidentally slept through your alarm.

Love language: quality time. Most of his life has been spent in solitude, so it isn’t unusual for Chishiya to disappear at times to ruminate in his thoughts. These moments are important to him and should be respected. But don’t fret- for as much as he enjoys his moments alone, Chishiya has grown to cherish the moments shared in your company. Oftentimes, your presence alone is enough to provide him the clarity and peace that he so desperately craves. Particularly on stressful days, he will find himself naturally gravitating to you, whether it be silently leaning against the counter as you do dishes or scooching ever so slightly closer to you on the couch as you watch a movie. Words rarely accompany these moments, which suits you well- they are unnecessary.

Love language: gift-giving. It’s no secret that Chishiya finds little value in money, so it should come as no surprise that most of the gifts he provides are of little monetary value. But what they lack in price, they more than make up for in sentiment. With the help of his keen observation skills, it doesn’t take long for Chishiya to pinpoint your likes and dislikes, and he carefully stores this knowledge away for later use. And in your moments of need, he cleverly uses this knowledge to surprise you. Have you had a bad day at work? You can expect to find your favorite snack/drink awaiting your arrival home. Disappointed that you got stuck inside due to the rain? Chishiya will bring you a flower that he thought you might enjoy, quite literally bringing the outside to you. As for hand-crafted gifts, he’s an expert at this! Whether it be a simple trinket he thought you might enjoy (like handmade jewelry, for instance) or a more complex weapon to keep you safe in the Borderlands, Chishiya takes pride in being able to create anything which will bring a smile to your face. 

Love language: physical touch. It’s likely no surprise that this one is something that will take some time to form. However, once enough trust is established to allow for touch, there’s no turning back. Having spent most of his life devoid of this simple treasure, the thought of things like cuddles or even hugs is not only foreign but terrifying in the beginning. It’s a form of love that he has never known, and it somehow feels more intimate- more vulnerable- than the others. Even hand-holding is too much at the start, so you can expect to move slowly in this regard. But as Chishiya opens up to the thought of simple acts like this, he finds himself not only enjoying but craving them. Like water breaking through a dam, the intimacy and vulnerability he once feared become as necessary and natural as oxygen. The sensation of touching you is a reminder of your presence not only physically in his life but also emotionally in his heart.

Love language: words of affirmation. Surprisingly, this is the one that takes the most time for Chishiya to accept. He’s not so much bothered by reassuring you as he is by you reassuring him. Much like physical touch, the thought of somebody speaking such gentle words to him is a foreign one. Having never received much more than a passing compliment from those closest to him, it’s something that he is unsure of how to respond to. But like physical touch, it’s also something that he never knew he needed. In fact, it’s his endless need for reassurance that terrifies him so; for as much as he loves to hear you tell him that he’s enough, that he’s yours, that he’s valuable…he can’t help but to fear the day that you might change your mind. Thankfully, even this obstacle can be overcome. As mentioned before, Chishiya treasures these moments, possibly preferring this over any other form of love language. And if you’re consistent enough with it, he might just start to fully believe it.

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